5 months .. Still no baby!

[Molly12]

So my AF is due on Monday and I know for sure she is on her wicked way. This means we have been trying for 5 months and no baby. We have tried everything, angus cactus, evening primrose, folic acid, OPKs, temping, soy isoflavones (not at same time as AC) and just au natural.
I was so naive when I began ttc as I thought it would be so simple to get pregnant because it feels like everyone I know in real life just looks at their partner and gets pregnant.
I totally understand some people try for years and my heart breaks for them, but it's getting to the stage where I can't bare to hear pregnancy news from friends or scan photos on Facebook. I used to love looking at baby clothes online and thinking of names but now it is just getting me down. I 100% feel it will never be my turn.
I didn't mean to upset anyone who has been trying for longer than us with this post, I'm just starting to feel so frustrated and almost disappointed in myself.
How does everyone on here deal with these feelings?

 

[Missymoo100]

It's natural to feel anxious but it's very early days for you. 5 months is no time at all. It's common for it to take upto a year, so u have plenty time. Try not to worry or fixate on it too much, I know easier said than done! Your bfp could be just round the corner! X

 

[sbl]

5 months is really quite a short ttc time.
For healthy fertile couples it can take a year.
It took us 2.5 years due to depo.
Relax and good luck!

 

[hanrh]

Hi Molly. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I am on my 6th cycle and feeling similar - as if it's just never going to happen. As the months go by it does get harder! We have had tests by doc and all have come back fine so far which makes it even more frustrating!

The thing that has helped me the most is this forum. There is a group called ttc positive thinking buddies which consists of an amazing group of ladies who are all so supportive. I have found speaking to them with any concerns had made me feel so much better!!!

I also read on here someone saying that a doc will only recommend you for fertility treatment when you have been trying for at least a year so keep thinking of that as a time frame. I keep thinking that in another 6 months of nothing's happened at least some one will help!!

Don't give up hope x

 

[Tink_]

Hey lovely,

TTC can be so stressful and I empathise with how hopeful and easy it feels in the beginning and then rapidly goes downhill as each month passes!

As the other ladies have said, 5 months isn't that long in terms of TTC but I don't think that makes it any easier and it's completely understandable that you are finding things like looking up baby clothes difficult. At the beginning of my journey I picked out gorgeous little baby gro's for the child I hoped to conceive within months - how naive was I?!! Now they are buried at the bottom of the cupboard as it's too painful to look at although I of course hope one day soon I will need them!

Be gentle with yourself xxx

 

[Molly12]

Thank you girls for all your lovely words. It really helps to have people on here who are so supportive. It makes me feel normal!
That quote about my BFP might be round the corner has really
lifted my spirits, that is so true we never know when it might happen for us.
I am so glad I'm not the only one who has bought baby things in the hope they will be used soon. I have baby grows in a drawer in the hope they will get used soon. One day I hope!

 

[Savasanna]

Hi, hun.

I just wanted to say that I completely, 100% understand. I'm so sorry you, and all of us, have these feelings, because they're so hard to manage.

I feel like this process is like a roller coaster - I feel strong, I feel weak, I feel strong, I feel weak. I know it doesn't help much but in my weak moments (days.. months..) I take comfort in the thought that I will feel strong again soon. Some days the best version of myself is optimism, and some days it's all I can do to just survive. Both of those are ok.

GL to you and I hope this will be all over for all of us so very soon.

 

[Stacey_89]

Awh you sound just like me when I was ttc my daughter.
I had a loss in 2009 at 12weeks and we tryed again straight away, everytime AF got me my heart broke, i was in tears and i just thought it would never happen for me again.
BUT on the month I was relaxed and just enjoyed social life and being with OH was the month I got my BFP, even if it did come at cd49 but that was down to irregular cycles due to the miscarriage.
So took me 7months with my daughter, im currently on my 4th month now ttc number 2, feel abit stressed again but thats because my cycle has only just settled down from implant removal and at the min iv been spotting for 3weeks due to treatmemt iv had on my cervix for abnormal smear test.
Relax, enjoy time with OH and going out.
im sure your time is coming up very soon maybe when you least expect it like I did.
x

 

[heychrissie]

I know exactly how you feel, I'm only on cycle 4 of trying now but it's been getting me down so much every month. Doesn't help that I keep getting really vivid dreams of getting a bfp! I too thought it would be quick. I know of lots of people who got pregnant not on purpose and not with good partners...so it's difficult but at least when the time comes it will be something me and my OH will have been working at, which my friends with children say they would have wanted. So I try to take comfort in that and be as positive as possible.

 

[Bug222]

its so difficult- something that a lot of people don't understand. it took a year to conceive my son and so far have been trying for 8 months (and 2 losses) for number 2. the only thing I can suggest it to make sure you are still going out and doing the things that you love to do. Don't let TTC consume your life. Remember that even in perfectly healthy/fertile couples there is only a 20% chance each cycle. For the vast majority of people it WILL happen- its just a question of when xxx

 

[Axl2]

I totally get what your saying but 5 months isn't really all that long. But I was the same way when my husband and I started trying. I have been trying for almost 3 years. Just found out my tubes are damaged and was told I have to do ivf. It almost seems like some people say I want to get pregnant and they are pregnant not really that fair. Or the people who don't treat their kids right have whole litter of kids. Have you talked to your doctor to start doing test? I do hope you pregnant. Don't stress about and try not to think it about I know easier said then done.

 

[Mrs Mc]

It took us 5 months to conceieve the twins, but even so, this time round, I had thought/hoped it wouldnt take us as long. We're now on cycle 3.

Im almost feeling the pressure more this time, as I dont want the gap to be huge between the twins and the baby. Every month, Im thinking, if we conceive this month the gap will be..., if we conceive this month the gap will be.... Urgh!!!!

Something like 75% conceive within the first year, so you still have a while to go before you need to even think about worrying.

My one peice of advice (which I know doesnt really help) when we hadnt conceived by 4 months I started to worry. I then talked to my SIL, who told me it had taken 1 month to conceive their first and 7 months to get their second. It made me realise, if a healthy couple, who had conceived staight away first time, can take 7 months then I didnt need to stress about it. BAM... I got pregnant.

Try not to worry, it will happen for you xxx

 

[Jerann83]

I feel your pain, we have been desperately TTC for 5 months ourselves and it just gets harder as each day passes on.

 

[babyjan]

5 months isn't long at all!

I have been trying for well over a year and almost 2 years since I got depo shot!

Mrs Mc, I am also constantly worrying about the age gap, my son will be 3 in December and I'm still not pregnant!!! It's sooo frustrating because I never expected this at all!

I did conceive in April which would have given us exactly 3 years between the two but I miscarried

 

[rachy28]

I understand, 5 cycles isnt much in the grand scheme of things but when its something you really want, then it feels like a lifetime. When we got to our 6th cycle I felt like I was having a breakdown. We are now heading onto cycle 19 and are now in the mindset "what will be, will be"
Dont give up and stay strong!

 

[wantingagirl]

It is so hard hun esp when it is always on your mind. I took 2.5 years and 2 years with my first and second. The ones that are quick you hear as a lot of people don't wanna tell you negative stories. With my son every test done under the sun, went to an IVF appointment was told due to my SS living with us we would have to pay for it, stopped ttc started saving 2 weeks later got my bfp. Olivia as was planned again took 2.5 years with a miscarriage inbetween Erin was an accident conceived 10 weeks after birth of Olivia. Its hard on this journey and I would never listen to advice to just take it as it comes but you will get that bfp.

Im ttc again my last baby and Ive bled more or less since erins birth last june, such long cycles and lots of problems but have to hope things will right themselves

 

[MamaLa]

My OH and I weren't trying, but wasn't preventing. We stopped using condoms in August last year and I found out I was pregnant in March. And was such a surprise. It'll come when you are least expecting it. Good luck and baby dust!