5 year old nephew took...

[KatelynsMummy]

"the worlds sharpest knife" to school!!!!
He had managed to climb onto the top of my brothers wardrobe, grab the knife, put it in his bag and went to school!
He said he wanted to carve his name into a tree... but its friggin scary!
He got yelled at and he wasnt the slighest bit bothered, he just doesnt care about anything... He broke into our next door neighbours shed and stole an axe and tried to hit his brother with it...
My SIL wont listen when we say he needs disciplining before he hits the teen years, she said he'll grow out of it... She has a 4 month old son, a 4 year old son and a 10 year old son as well, she said they're not safe at home with Alfie (the 5 year old) around yet she wont do anything about it...
How can we make her see that this can get terribly dangerous? Im not questioning her parenting, but theres a limit, and Alfie has pushed the limit but because its not being sorted, he might do worse things...
Well done if you followed that!

 

[katy1310]

OMG! Seriously?! We have that knife and it's a scary beast of a thing!

I think children need to be shown right and wrong from the earliest that they understand things - gently when they are little but you can get stricter as they get older. If they are not disciplined before the teen years, how will they ever know what's right and wrong?

xx

 

[KatelynsMummy]

OMG! Seriously?! We have that knife and it's a scary beast of a thing!

I think children need to be shown right and wrong from the earliest that they understand things - gently when they are little but you can get stricter as they get older. If they are not disciplined before the teen years, how will they ever know what's right and wrong?

xx

Yes seriously...
This is what ive tried saying to my SIL she just say's he'll learn, but how can he learn if hes not shown

 

[Chocciebutton]

He could fall onto the knife and injure himself besides other things!

 

[New2Bumps]

As a teacher I have to say that the school is most probrably following him very very closely and I think you should question their parenting style! If a child exhibits an interest in violent things to that extent we worry very very much and asking Qs like: Why was there a huge knife up there in the first place? How did he know about it? If he didn't know why was he there mooching around anyway? Why is he in that room on his own if there was a knife in there? As for the axe, that's scary. He clearly knew it was in there and knew what it was and that it was dangerous. I don't think many 5yo would know what an axe was even for let alone try to hit someone with it. Sounds to me like he's being exposed to things he shouldn't be in some way, weather in real life, tv or video games and it's clearly having a major effect. I think you are right to worry and you should continue to talk to them about this. If they know he's like this then at least keep all dangerous things that could be used as weapons locked up out of his way.

 

[KatelynsMummy]

As a teacher I have to say that the school is most probrably following him very very closely and I think you should question their parenting style! If a child exhibits an interest in violent things to that extent we worry very very much and asking Qs like: Why was there a huge knife up there in the first place? How did he know about it? If he didn't know why was he there mooching around anyway? Why is he in that room on his own if there was a knife in there? As for the axe, that's scary. He clearly knew it was in there and knew what it was and that it was dangerous. I don't think many 5yo would know what an axe was even for let alone try to hit someone with it. Sounds to me like he's being exposed to things he shouldn't be in some way, weather in real life, tv or video games and it's clearly having a major effect. I think you are right to worry and you should continue to talk to them about this. If they know he's like this then at least keep all dangerous things that could be used as weapons locked up out of his way.

It does make us question, and we do talk to them about how dangerous it is, he could quite easily kill someone and i dont think he would care...
But my SIL wont listen, we try and talk to her, my mum actually snapped at her, as she's worried about her grandchildren, and my SIL told her to leave as she was inappropriate... My brother is more understanding, but still with the whole "he'll grow out of it" thing.

 

[skydragonfly]

As a parent of a child with behavioural issues, including ADHD and Aspergers, I think ignoring what the child is doing is a total disservice to the child. The child needs boundaries set firm and consequences in place when he goes over them. I am shocked that she feels that him taking a knife to school is something a child will grow out of. I'm sorry but I would be seeking immediately help before this situation escalates and it will. A child at my eldests school has just been expelled for taking a knife to school... Please get some help for this kids, can you contact her hv? Can you ask the childs school where to go to get help. This is just so sad.

 

[KatelynsMummy]

As a parent of a child with behavioural issues, including ADHD and Aspergers, I think ignoring what the child is doing is a total disservice to the child. The child needs boundaries set firm and consequences in place when he goes over them. I am shocked that she feels that him taking a knife to school is something a child will grow out of. I'm sorry but I would be seeking immediately help before this situation escalates and it will. A child at my eldests school has just been expelled for taking a knife to school... Please get some help for this kids, can you contact her hv? Can you ask the childs school where to go to get help. This is just so sad.

We don't have HV's round here, well we do, somewhere, think they're hiding
& he has been kicked out of school, we think he does have some form ADHD but once again she wont take him to the doctors to get checked out.
We're on the verge of ringing super nanny!

 

[charli87]

wow thats crazy, i dont really have any advice apart from 'letting him grow out of it' wont work, i really hope you can help her see sense. also did the school inform social services of what happened, as that could be worrying if they start coming around.

 

[KatelynsMummy]

wow thats crazy, i dont really have any advice apart from 'letting him grow out of it' wont work, i really hope you can help her see sense. also did the school inform social services of what happened, as that could be worrying if they start coming around.

Im not sure if they did.. they never mentioned it, just said he wasnt allowed back in school until everything was sorted...

 

[charli87]

are they disciplining him for what happened? so he knows there are rules etc, as surely he knows not to take something that doesnt belong to him.
i feel for you being in such a hard position

 

[KatelynsMummy]

are they disciplining him for what happened? so he knows there are rules etc, as surely he knows not to take something that doesnt belong to him.
i feel for you being in such a hard position

The school wanted to, they wrote down what my SIL could do to make him realise what he did was wrong..
BUT my SIL threw them away and just doesnt seem bothered, and says she doesnt have the time...
I know she has 3 other kids... BUT her priority should be sorting him out before he harms one of her other kids.
He can be so well behaved, but if something p*sses him off, then stuff like this happens...

 

[charli87]

thats stupid, so she hasnt told him of or disciplined him at all?! no wonder hes getting like he is. i agree just because you have other kids doesnt mean you dont discipline them, my nan had 4 and my god they were disciplined
if the other kids are doing ok maybe she needs to concentrate on him, sounds like hes craving attention tbh

 

[skydragonfly]

As a parent of a child with behavioural issues, including ADHD and Aspergers, I think ignoring what the child is doing is a total disservice to the child. The child needs boundaries set firm and consequences in place when he goes over them. I am shocked that she feels that him taking a knife to school is something a child will grow out of. I'm sorry but I would be seeking immediately help before this situation escalates and it will. A child at my eldests school has just been expelled for taking a knife to school... Please get some help for this kids, can you contact her hv? Can you ask the childs school where to go to get help. This is just so sad.

We don't have HV's round here, well we do, somewhere, think they're hiding
& he has been kicked out of school, we think he does have some form ADHD but once again she wont take him to the doctors to get checked out.
We're on the verge of ringing super nanny!

I know from experience that supernanny will not deal with cases where they think there may be underlying causes for the behaviour and not just bad behaviour. My friend went through several meetings with her team, where they even spent the afternoon filming them to assess the family. They decided they couldn't help the child. He's doing fine now though, diagnosed autistic.

However back to your situation. Does she seriously think her childs behaviour is okay then? Most mums would be desperate to find out why their kid is behaving like this, bizarre. Hope you can manage to sort something for her, sounds like the kid is lucky to have you around. xx

 

[KatelynsMummy]

We've just spoke to her, he threw his toy smashing the window, and started playing with the glass, about to take it into the nursery where my youngest nephew was napping, my brother went a little bit mental and scared the living crap out of him, he then had very strict words with my SIL and she agree'd that something had to be done.. Lets hope she actually does something

 

[Amarna]

Wow! Let's hope they actually start disciplining this kid. You certainly cannot ignore behavior like this! Children need to have boundaries set and they need to have rules reinforced.

 

[tjw]

Only just read this. Hope they are getting this situation sorted out now. If not, then to be honest hon, family or not I would be calling Social Services for help. They don't only take kids away... they can get lots of support put into place and provide a lot of information and help in situations like these. Specialist services to assess his core needs and find out what is at the root of such behaviours, and support to help him develop appropriate skills and understanding, cognitive behaviour, etc.

 

[KatelynsMummy]

Its funny you bring this thread back up, alot has changed since i first posted this.
My nephew has been diagnosed with ADHD, and is now under control, hes a changed person, he really is, so loving and definatley not the same boy i posted about!
Things are looking on the up

 

[tjw]

Ah lovely hon, glad to hear progress is being made, good luck to you all x

 

[KatelynsMummy]

Thank you very much xxx