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[Aidan's Mummy]

I don't understand why people think young teenage mum's don't do the actual parenting? My best friend had her little girl aged 14, she did everything for her baby. Everything a mother would do she did, she went to school(with an attached nursery) and completed her education. Yes she needed financial support for the first few years of her child's life. But everything else she did her self. x

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Nobody has said as a blanket statement that young teenage mums don't do the parenting - just that a lot of them would need more input than just guidance, from their own parents. Not all. And there's no shame in that, I mean a 13 year is a child herself.

 

[supertabby]

I think its very unlikely that a 13 year old can be a good parent. But I think in certain circumstances its possible, the teenager would need to be very mature for their age (sexually active does not automatically mean mature either) and would need excellent and full time support from a parent/family member. But generally speaking I think the answer is no. Also I'll probably get abuse for saying this but.. I think in most circumstances a child who is sexually active at 12 or 13 probably doesn't have great parents herself and so will not only be missing support, but also good examples to follow (I know this isn't always true, and I know sometimes a pregnant teenager did not choose to have sex).

In the past when 13 year old mums were commonplace, so was a high level of community child rearing - although nowadays we need (and many receive) support from family, much more of the workload in child rearing falls to the parents only than it would have done in centuries gone by.

I do know a couple of older teenage mums (16 and 19 at the time) who are now in their 30s and have done a great job with their kids. Both had supportive parents and both are still with the father, I think these relationships have been what helped them parent their children well.

 

[tommyg]

I don't understand why people think young teenage mum's don't do the actual parenting? My best friend had her little girl aged 14, she did everything for her baby. Everything a mother would do she did, she went to school(with an attached nursery) and completed her education. Yes she needed financial support for the first few years of her child's life. But everything else she did her self. x

Well done to her couldn't have been easy. I am just curious is the kid getting on well now?

Maybe they make better parents than I'd think on the logic that being parented is still very fresh in their minds I don't know but as I said I would be curious to know the statics on it.

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Personally I am going against the mob here but I am going to say NO.

They aren't able to financally support themselves so how to they support their child. If they miss out on their education again how do they get a job that pays enough to get them out of the benefits trap. If your happy on benefits what sort of role model is that for your kids?

How do you parent a 16 year old wild teenager if you've never had the chance to be a wild teenager yourself, because you were stuck at home with a baby and no money.

Yes they're may be the exception but I'd be curious to know what percentage of babies to 13 year olds eventually manage to either get an apprentiship or go to uni as against the children of 23 year olds.

I agree. A 13 year old is a child. I believe a certain amount of life experience is needed before successfully raising your own children.

I'm sure there are some excellent young Mums around (I know there are many on this site), but I imagine, unfortunately, a lot of young Mums do not do such a great job (I know of 2 IRL that messing up their kids rather nicely!).

I had my first baby at 22 (planned) and I've said many times that I think that in hindsight I was too young. I'm so much more patient now & more confident in myself now - IMO those things come with age.

 

[cherryglitter]

No, IMO I think it is too young. When I was 13 I know I wouldn't have been a good Mum, although I probably would've liked to have thought I would be.

 

[jenny_wren]

just because you have teenage parents
doesn't mean you wont go to uni or get a decent job
babies of 13 year olds can do just aswell as those
born to older parents ...

obama's mother was a teen mum and look where he is

​

 

[shortie1990]

I think it's nothing to do with age, it's all about the individual, I know people my age (21) who can't even look after themselves, never mind a baby, where as some 13 year olds, with the right support, would do a fantastic job, my sister is 10, she's great with my LO, and my nephew who's 2.5, I'm not saying for a minute she's capable of actually looming after them, because she isn't, but if she was to become pregnant at 13, she'd do a better job than a heck of a lot of older mums you see on tv.

 

[katy1310]

I think 13 is far too young to be a parent, because a 13 year old is still a child herself, however, I know a couple of 13 year olds who are brilliant with Sophie. They are lovely girls, very mature and sensible, and I could imagine them being good mums. I have just had time to skim the other replies but I agree with those who said that some input and guidance would be needed from their own parents. Having said that, I'm 35 and still need input and guidance from my mum I'm always phoning asking about things re Sophie!

 

[KittyVentura]

Everyone has the ability to be a good mum, even a great mum. Same as everyone has the ability to be a bad mum.

I'm sure there are great 13 yr old mums out there (even if the thought of it makes me so sad I want to cry) and I am sure there are awful 43 yr old mums out there too xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I don't understand why people think young teenage mum's don't do the actual parenting? My best friend had her little girl aged 14, she did everything for her baby. Everything a mother would do she did, she went to school(with an attached nursery) and completed her education. Yes she needed financial support for the first few years of her child's life. But everything else she did her self. x

Well done to her couldn't have been easy. I am just curious is the kid getting on well now?

Maybe they make better parents than I'd think on the logic that being parented is still very fresh in their minds I don't know but as I said I would be curious to know the statics on it.

Her little girl is due to start school in September and is one of the one of the best-behaved children I have ever met. She is very bright, independent and generally a lovely little girl. My friend went to college and is now working as a nursery nurse and her partner is a landscaper. I became pregnant at 16 and I am now at university studying my degree in nursing. I truly think the ability to be a mother at any age is dependent on that person. Yes some teenage mothers are awful I am not disputing that but on the flip side you get some awful 'older' mums. During my first year at university I have a number of placements on children’s wards. During these placement's I have met a wide range of young parent families and I can count on one hand the amount that conform to the stereotypical view of teenage parents. I am not suggesting that a girl should have a baby aged 13 or become a teenage mother because it is hard work and it does take a lot of dedication to finish your education and juggle being a mother. I’m just saying that people should be judged individually on their parenting abilities not as a group. x

 

[OmarsMum]

Many of my cousins had their 1st by choice at the age of 14-16. They are all good mums. In my hometown it's very common for females to marry & have kids early.

Many females have matenal instincts at very early age. My cousins used to enjoy to take care of their younger siblings & they always dreamt of getting married & having kids at a young age. They weren't forced into a marriage or having kids. They all were willing to start motherhood at an early age.

I'm the odd one in the family who got married at 29 & had my 1st at 31. I wasnt matenal before having Omar, & even when my mum had my youngest brother whe I was 15, I wasnt bothered & I never fed him, bathed him, put him in bed or changed a nappy.

 

[Pramaholic86]

.

 

[charli87]

surely though if the only way they can be good parents is with support from their parents then they aren't ready, I would say its the same for older parents, if you're not capable of raising them on your own maybe you should wait?

im not a teen mum and i struggled early on and without the help and support of my family things could have gone so badly as i had mild pnd. no-one knows if they are going to be capable of raising a child without support. as for waiting to have a child until your ready to do it without help, not everyone plans to have a baby accidents do happen

 

[vaniilla]

surely though if the only way they can be good parents is with support from their parents then they aren't ready, I would say its the same for older parents, if you're not capable of raising them on your own maybe you should wait?

im not a teen mum and i struggled early on and without the help and support of my family things could have gone so badly as i had mild pnd. no-one knows if they are going to be capable of raising a child without support. as for waiting to have a child until your ready to do it without help, not everyone plans to have a baby accidents do happen

I'm not doubting accidents happen and everyone knows they do, no contraception is 100%, if people aren't able to live with the consequences that come with it then they aren't ready to have sex as ultimately thats what sex is there for - if you don't want to get pregnant, dont have sex

 

[OmarsMum]

surely though if the only way they can be good parents is with support from their parents then they aren't ready, I would say its the same for older parents, if you're not capable of raising them on your own maybe you should wait?

im not a teen mum and i struggled early on and without the help and support of my family things could have gone so badly as i had mild pnd. no-one knows if they are going to be capable of raising a child without support. as for waiting to have a child until your ready to do it without help, not everyone plans to have a baby accidents do happen

Agree. I also stuggled & if my mum didnt stay with me for 8 weeks after giving birth, I would have ended up with PND .

 

[charli87]

surely though if the only way they can be good parents is with support from their parents then they aren't ready, I would say its the same for older parents, if you're not capable of raising them on your own maybe you should wait?

im not a teen mum and i struggled early on and without the help and support of my family things could have gone so badly as i had mild pnd. no-one knows if they are going to be capable of raising a child without support. as for waiting to have a child until your ready to do it without help, not everyone plans to have a baby accidents do happen

I'm not doubting accidents happen and everyone knows they do, no contraception is 100%, if people aren't able to live with the consequences that come with it then they aren't ready to have sex as ultimately thats what sex is there for - if you don't want to get pregnant, dont have sex

so i shouldnt of had sex and accidently got pregnant because i struggled after she was born, which i didnt know would happen??

 

[shortie1990]

Obama's mum was 13?
The question is can a 13 year old be a good mum, not can a teenager be a good mum

Is a 13 year old not a teenager?

 

[vaniilla]

surely though if the only way they can be good parents is with support from their parents then they aren't ready, I would say its the same for older parents, if you're not capable of raising them on your own maybe you should wait?

im not a teen mum and i struggled early on and without the help and support of my family things could have gone so badly as i had mild pnd. no-one knows if they are going to be capable of raising a child without support. as for waiting to have a child until your ready to do it without help, not everyone plans to have a baby accidents do happen

I'm not doubting accidents happen and everyone knows they do, no contraception is 100%, if people aren't able to live with the consequences that come with it then they aren't ready to have sex as ultimately thats what sex is there for - if you don't want to get pregnant, dont have sex

so i shouldnt of had sex and accidently got pregnant because i struggled after she was born, which i didnt know would happen??

I don't see how its the same tbh, at 13 its pretty obvious your not in the right circumstances to have a baby, you don't need to get pregnant to realise this.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

In my eyes mothering a child comes naturally to mums, young or old. I am 18 and before I fell pregnant I would look at my friends who already have children and think 'god I would hate to be in that situation' but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I have plans to stay with my baby for the first year or two of her life at the same time as doing an online degree (i have already got GCSE's and a college diploma) I want to study to become a midwife. I have a friend who has twins at 18 and she is like super mum!! I know 18 and 13 are a big difference in maturity but its still the same label of Teen mum! To be fair I don't know any teenage mum that is how people label us.. I know one women who was in her late 20's and she has 3 kids, obviously i cant say what happens when people aren't around as i don't know but when i used to speak to her a lot more she would flick ash from a cigarette over her kids without realising and she would take men to bed whilst her children were left sat in the living room full of drunk people. Not judging her because her kids are all good as gold and healthy but i am saying age doesn't determine whether you will be a bad mum or not. X