Dramaqueeny
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2016
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 0
So her goes with my story. First of all my husband and I are the proud parents of a beautiful, amazing, healthy, intelligent 11 year old son. My first pregnancy happen whilst I was still in college, unmarried and on the pill so it was a complete shock to both of us. Skip to five years later, we both have good jobs, a nice house and are just married. Perfect time to come off the pill and try for number 2. Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. After 18 months I went to my GP and thus began a very, very long road of blood tests and clomid cycles and ovulation sticks. 3 years in I fell pregnant and we were the happiest people alive. I miscarried at 6 weeks. Back to the drawing board. This time I had a HSG and my husband had a sperm analysis. Turns out his sperm was 15 million and so we were finally sent to a fertility clinic. They sent me for a lap and dye which found moderate endemetriosis and lasered it off. The operation also left me with permanent nerve damage in my right thigh. But it would be worth it if I got pregnant right? Another 6 months of clomid and nothing. That was a year ago now and I have just been put on the list for IVF. This is my last chance. I can't keep doing this. There has to be a point where you say enough is enough. I can't keep waiting every month to see if this is it, I can't keep being poked and prodded, I have to make future plans without thinking about the possibility of a baby. But how? How do I stop myself from waiting every month? From imagining what they would look like, what kind of a brother my son would be? What it would be like to tell our friends and family that after so long it's our turn. Because we had our son so young none of our friends were having babies. we're now in our thirties and it seems like everyone around me is pregnant or just given birth! And worse than that they all feel bad telling me. I see the sympathy in their eyes an I hate it. I'm happy for them! I want them to have healthy, happy families. I just want the same for us. I spoke to m son a few weeks ago as he knew I was attending the hospital but didn't know what was going on. he knows we would like another baby but that's all. I explained IVF to him and he started to cry. I asked him what was wrong and his reply was "you're telling me there is a 40% chance I might be a big brother." My heart broke and not just for myself and my husband but for him also.