9 wks pregnant and "boyfriend" ignores me completely

[surprisebaby]

Oooooo if FOB answers on saturday then that'll be even better

Would the receptionist not be able to give you FOBs mobile number? xx

It wasn't a receptionist. But a sales assistant. The business is two big shops. I don't think they would be allowed to give out a mobile number. And I am too scared to phone back! I am going to wait till Saturday. Thats all I can manage. It took me all day just to make that call!! But I feel good thinking I can talk to FOB's dad on Saturday. x

 

[babybaillie]

Good luck with that. Going through a kinds similar situation myself. Why do we let these men do this to us. Hope everything works out for u xx

 

[woadie]

Good luck with that. Going through a kinds similar situation myself. Why do we let these men do this to us. Hope everything works out for u xx

We don't let them.... there are just some very very bad men out there who themselves have been raised with zero social moral fibre or conscience, spoiled and used to having their lives to live and trample all over others.

There are a whole generation of mothers out there who deserve to hang their heads in shame at raising their sons to be like this. I am ashamed to be female and know that other women out there have set such low standards for their sons.

If my child is a boy I will make sure that if he ever does this to a women he will be no son of mine.

It's disgusting.

Sorry, rant over and (((hugs))) to all the women here who have been victims of these selfish ugly irresponsible thoughtless nasty sh*ts who call themselves 'men'... real men don't behave like this!

 

[suzanne108]

In reply to woadies comments....

You want to meet my FOBs mother......vile is one word for her! She seems nice, looks the nice friendly MIL but noooooooooooo, she is a horrid nasty woman.

And has had the cheek to send me a birthday card today telling me that she is there for "support" if I ever need her. It'll be sad times for me if things get so bad that I need her!!!!!!!!

Rant over....... hehe xx

 

[surprisebaby]

Happy Birthday Suzanne

Sorry to hear you FOB's mum is a . I know witch stands for period on the Babyandbump forum, but I didn't know what other picture to use...

Hey I appreciate everyones comments and opinions and stories so far. I am dreading calling my FOB's dad on Saturday. I might chicken out and send a letter, but hopefully I'll be brave enough to call.

 

[suzanne108]

Hehe thanks surprisebaby

That picture suits her fine

xxx

 

[BrightonsMa]

Im sure alot of it he is really shocked, and guys have a d bag way of dealing with important things! My daughters father was nothing but not supportive my whole pregancy always going out never bringing me never being there for me when i was upset about being pregnant. just over all making me feel like a sh***y person. anyways i belive that he will come around when that baby is born untill tehn be prepared for a really ugly and not fun road.. and to tell you the truth at this point while your pregnant you really cany force him to be there for you untill the baby is born.. then the joke is on him he will feel like the biggest peice of poop after.. at least i know david does right now.. good luck hunny hang in there!!

 

[surprisebaby]

Just made the call to FOB's dad. So nervewracking. Spoke to his dad. and told him I am pregnant. He didn't give much away. I don't know if he knew already or not because, he was not answering properly. I think because there were other people around. He said he would get FOB to call me, but would wait for FOB to get in touch with him first. A bit weird. I give him my mobile number. I think he was acting really strange. Not giving anything away.

 

[babybaillie]

Oh hes prob wantin his version of d story 1st b4 saying anything.

How u feeling now?

 

[suzanne108]

Just made the call to FOB's dad. So nervewracking. Spoke to his dad. and told him I am pregnant. He didn't give much away. I don't know if he knew already or not because, he was not answering properly. I think because there were other people around. He said he would get FOB to call me, but would wait for FOB to get in touch with him first. A bit weird. I give him my mobile number. I think he was acting really strange. Not giving anything away.

Well done for making the call how many times did you start to dial the number before you actually let it ring?! Or did you take the bull by the horns and do it first time?!

I think the only problem with contacting parents is that they're more than likely gonna be on his side, which you can't blame them for. They might not agree with what he's done but they'll probably stick up for him. I can't say for definite....I just think its what parents are for, to stick by you through think and thin!!! So don't be surprised or worried if they do side with him in the end.

At least they know....he was maybe in shock and as someone else said - he might be waiting to hear FOBs side of the story!

Well done and good luck...keep us updated again!! xx

 

[surprisebaby]

Oh hes prob wantin his version of d story 1st b4 saying anything.

How u feeling now?

kinda really emtional. I just worry that FOB's dad already knew that I am pregnant and will just ignore me just like his son is doing, and that I won't get an answer from FOB about whether he wants to be involved with the baby or not.

I suppose I am probably just going to have face that I will be bringing up my baby without him/her having a dad which is a shame. It just doesn't feel nice the thought of going to the scan next week and FOB won't be there, and when the baby is born he won't be my birth partner. I think I'll just feel like somethings missing. xx

 

[surprisebaby]

Suzanne

It took me from 9am till 10.45 am to make the call. I got my sister to make me a real coffee (for confidence!) and then at 10.45 I just picked up the phone and called straight away. I couldn't believe it when it was him who answered the phone.
I just wonder if he will contact FOB tonight. I thought about warning FOB but I decided it was best if FOB got a surprise!
x

 

[EternalRose]

Im so glad you made the phonecall surprisebaby, his father HAS to say something it is his grandchild at the end of the day! xxxx

 

[woadie]

Hey well done... that took real courage, you should be really proud of yourself.

Okay, best case scenario I hope FOB is given a right roasting. I just cannot imagine 95% of families turning around and saying 'hey we've got a new life who is related to us out there....nah we can't be bothered to have anything to do with it and we'll never ever wonder about it'... it's just not the done thing...

If you're unlucky enough that FOB's family are that other 5% like my FOBs family are. then hell,would you want a family like that having anything to do with raising your child? Imagine how they would treat it,the morals they would instill, the heartache as they selfishly ignored your child unless it suited them. In which case, it might hurt a bit right now but ultimately there will be a man out there who will want to be a daddy to your LO and his family will welcome your LO in with open arms... and that is what you want.

((hugs))

 

[surprisebaby]

A small update. I found another way to contact him. I emailed his uni account which I have never done before. I wrote an email saying lots of stuff. maybe stuff I shouldn't have said. I told him I thought he had treated me really badly and was acting like a coward. and that ignoring me wasn't acceptable. I said I didn't want that much, just to know if he wanted to be involved with the baby or not. I said he would have to give me a decision by Wednesday.I also mentioned that I had contacted his dad!! oh dear.

 

[MissE007]

So in my opinion as harsh as this may sound I think you've done all you can for the moment and you have to try not to contact him for a while in any shape or form.

I think some people depending on their personality - when they feel backed into a corner they run further away. Although it can be a pain in the butt, sometimes leaving space and plenty of it can be the best way to get them to come forward.

Frustrating as it may be, you can be certain by now that he has at least some inkling that you are trying to contact him to discuss the baby. If doesn't respond soon, then your only option is to just wait it out until he does - and personally from hearing your story, I think there is a likelihood he will - but the question is when? - and that is what is most irritating.

In the meantime I think you just need to focus on yourself and the baby.

 

[surprisebaby]

So in my opinion as harsh as this may sound I think you've done all you can for the moment and you have to try not to contact him for a while in any shape or form.

I think some people depending on their personality - when they feel backed into a corner they run further away. Although it can be a pain in the butt, sometimes leaving space and plenty of it can be the best way to get them to come forward.

Frustrating as it may be, you can be certain by now that he has at least some inkling that you are trying to contact him to discuss the baby. If doesn't respond soon, then your only option is to just wait it out until he does - and personally from hearing your story, I think there is a likelihood he will - but the question is when? - and that is what is most irritating.

In the meantime I think you just need to focus on yourself and the baby.

I hear what you are saying, but I did give him over 3 1/2 weeks of space where I did not contact him. And it was driving me crazy. For my own sanity I just want this sorted out this week and I don't care if it puts me in worse position or not. I just want to move on in whatever way. I cannot let this rest until it's resolved and I think that'll happen this week.
I agree I am pushing a response, but I am not asking for much, just to know his decision about the baby. I feel so much better after writing the email, I really do. I am doing this so I can just focus on me and the baby.

 

[MissE007]

I really do know how you feel though - I guess that's my 'sensible side' talking. Argh! I haven't heard from the father of my baby either. I am seriously fighting myself not to contact him 100 times and just give him an earful. In fact I know I probably will before the night is over! I am not a very patient lady!

 

[surprisebaby]

I really do know how you feel though - I guess that's my 'sensible side' talking. Argh! I haven't heard from the father of my baby either. I am seriously fighting myself not to contact him 100 times and just give him an earful. In fact I know I probably will before the night is over! I am not a very patient lady!

So when was the last time you heard from him? I think I remember reading that you spoke twice on the phone and then arranged to meet up and then he failed to show. How long ago was all that?

I think it would help to see him in person. Is there anyway you could just to get closure? I think you're wrong. I think you have been very patient. Maybe too patient. I think it's worrying you say he has kids you didn't know about. I wonder if it's kids he doesn't see?

I think getting closure is good and then you can move on. Why should closure be once you give birth. I mean thats quite a while away. Why should we wait that long to know where we stand?

 

[MissE007]

I really do know how you feel though - I guess that's my 'sensible side' talking. Argh! I haven't heard from the father of my baby either. I am seriously fighting myself not to contact him 100 times and just give him an earful. In fact I know I probably will before the night is over! I am not a very patient lady!

So when was the last time you heard from him? I think I remember reading that you spoke twice on the phone and then arranged to meet up and then he failed to show. How long ago was all that?

I think it would help to see him in person. Is there anyway you could just to get closure? I think you're wrong. I think you have been very patient. Maybe too patient. I think it's worrying you say he has kids you didn't know about. I wonder if it's kids he doesn't see?

I think getting closure is good and then you can move on. Why should closure be once you give birth. I mean thats quite a while away. Why should we wait that long to know where we stand?

Any update from you?

As far as mine goes I did end up getting hold of fob the night I posted. He more or less told me that I choose either the baby or him - so I guess there's no choice there.