Hi all, been a while since I checked in. Been feeling too overwhelmed to chat, but my thoughts and prayers have been with you all.
First, my condolences to Tizy!
I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through all that!, and my prayers and best wishes are with you and your family.
The bauble for your angel bean is lovely and I'm glad you've found peace and I'm inspired by how you've gotten back on the horse for next year with such grace.
Second, congrats to MrsMurphy!
H & H 9 months!
Best wishes and baby dust to those still on the ttc journey
Wishing all those riding the pg pony a continued H & H 9 months. Glad to hear of all the good appointments had or coming up and glad to see all the lovely scans!
Third, Happy Holidays (Merry Christmas, etc!)
Now here's what's happening with me...
Well, during O season, as I shall call it, I managed to reach a tenuous peace with the process by focusing on all the scary stuff and hassles about pg and childrearing, so I could think "well, maybe I should enjoy this pre-pg/child time while I've got it" (but that only lasted so long). On the upside, I was able to have a ttc chat with my mom, who revealed that it took her and my grandma (and my aunt too, iirc) around 9 months to fall pg with each of their babies, so that makes me less worried about not falling pg already. Also found out that grandma (who had endo so bad she had a hysterectomy in her 30s) had mom and my aunt later than I thought (at 28 and 30) so that makes me worry a bit less about my age. Even mom (who also has endo, but not as bad as grandma) had me a bit later than I thought (at 26 rather than 24 like I was thinking). I was also reminded that my cousin had her two babies and she had endo so bad that she had a hysterectomy even earlier than grandma (late 20s/early 30s). So, it seems that the endo that runs in my family just slows the ttc process down a couple months longer than average (so for me it will probably be 10 months, since I'm a bit older) and I've made it to my 30's without it getting so bad I'm even thinking of surgery and they didn't see any endo cysts on that u/s I'd had, so I suppose I might as well assume that it will just take a while, but will eventually happen. In addition, my husband feels that his good feeling that eventually it will happen (and he's a worrier like me so it's odd that he has this feeling and has maintained it) is heaven sent, and upon a prayer for help in general, I've gotten the feeling that I should listen to his feeling, if I can't listen to my own original feeling that it will happen in time (but I still have trouble following said divine advice).
I was actually feeling pretty 'whatever will be will be' up until it got closer to testing, and then I started feeling that no, I would not be fine if AF got me/tests turned out neg. So upon the first day of spotting, I cried. Then my body decided to jerk me around with spotting that dragged out longer than ever (making me think it could be due to PG and not approaching AF), so that I was briefly hopeful before AF got me and I cried again. I continue to find this ttc process rather traumatic, what with the emotional rollercoaster it puts me on. On the up side, I'm learning to manage it. The crying is not lasting so long, and I have more faith that I'll get back to being ok with the process come next O season, and that even though I'll be upset come testing season, I'll get through it. But I don't like it. I'm sure it's building character and I have faith that I'll be grateful for the learning experience and the chance to prove my grit, when all is said and done, but currently I'm not liking the process so much.
And the fact that my periods are so irregular with symptoms and spotting and O times (and thus length) is frustrating (although I'm gratefull they aren't really long or short and it's not any more aggravating that a 6 day deviation from the shortest to longest). It's become clear that I can't really count on
any deviation from the so called norm to give me a clue as to whether I should hope or not for a particular cycle, which is frustrating. So, from now on I'm just going to try and wait until testing day, if I get to testing day without AF getting me first. When, oh when, will I make it to testing day? Probably it will be a while still, and despite my experience of and belief that divine advice has been given (and no good reason to doubt the experience or my faculties of perception, nor a good reason to doubt my husband's), I still want to tack on an 'if I ever get to testing day' to the question of 'when'.
As for now, I'm sick with sinus ick and not feeling well. And my period is dragging on. Other than that, Christmas has been good.
My poor husband's work has bee super stressful (and sinuses haven't been great for either of us), but we did manage to get enough enough BD to be declared good by FF. Hopefully the new year will bring less stress and sinus ick.
Oh, and I'll definitely have to keep a close watch on O and test frequently as it approaches, as my pos LH surge doesn't last long (I wouldn't have caught it if I hadn't tested in the middle of the night, when the day's line was almost but not quite pos, this last cycle).
I've updated my sig and ticker. Cycle #5, next est. test date 1/23/13. I doubt I'll get to testing day before cycle 9, though (if not later...or ever, although I believe assuming 'never' is unwarrented at this point...but I still feel like it's gonna be never right now). I predict at least four more months of the the
Hope everyone else frustrated by the ttc journey is holding up.
im sure he/she will be looking down on you all. 
my app on my phone told me I'm now in my second trimester so I'm going with that an boy am I excited 
morning sickness still hits me every couple of days and it's vicious. We had a quiet xmas and seeing both families for New Years. Just can't wait to know whether we are having a boy or girl 
I dont think ill ever havr anymore after this one but i dont want that decision taken away from me!
