A group for TTC#1 and had more than one loss?

[BeachChica]

Lady fog and NSN - I personally hope you guys keep posting your updates! It gives me hope because I know you went through all of this too and now have pregnancies that are going great!!!

Lexi - I just started feeling sick too. I think I am getting a cold! Woke up this morning with a sore throat and feeling like crap! I don't know what's going, it's been in the 80's here!!

 

[lexi374]

9dpo and looks like im out this month temps are dropping!

And my throat still kills, so looks like im just ill!

We bd loads this month i just dont know what more we can do, its so frustrating!

Soop i see your temps pretty steady have you tested again?

Hi lady great to hear from you, and glad you are feeling better and getting into the shopping now!

 

[Neversaynever]

Lexi.. hun. It's such a cruel thing to see especially when you've done everything you possibly can to catch the egg..I'm hoping it's implantation and nothing else yes I'm out of class from today so dread to think what crap they'll have me doing

KMP... dates are a huge thing for me...from my losses I seem to have a date for almost every month including days for BFP...loss...due so yes, you're perfectly normal thinking of those. For me, getting past the due dates have been the most difficult. I'm dreading how emotional I'm going to be with the delivery of this baby as it is due when I lost my second baby so the emotions will be mixed just keep being open and talk in here...fab bunch of ladies

Nicki...glad you feel better from letting some of your emotions out and that you felt better after acupuncture...are you planning on continuing sessions?

Myangel...I always say that when you lose a baby...you lose a baby and regardless of how far along you are. The emotional pain is just different and no less than anyone else if that makes sense? I'm angry that they didn't perform an autopsy to give you some answers and maybe a little bit of closure I hope there is a plan in place ready for next time

Beach..I'm glad that you all don't mind us still posting. I guess it's because we do truly understand what it's like...oh and the worry never goes away...just changes direction

Sooper...any news?

Happy Monday to everyone and

XxX

 

[Sooperhans]

Thanks Lady and NSN for the messages Lady good luck on the bargain hunting!

Beach and Lexi, hope you feel better v soon. Lexi could your temps be a little off if you are ill anyway? I hope they pick up again tomorrow

Mine lowered slightly today...but only a bit, so will see what they do tomorrow. I've now got a Wed morning blood test appt, hoping to know by Thurs....it was the only appt they had for the whole week, so everyone wants their blood removed ATM it seems!

I just want an answer, I'm so tired ATM and I think half of it is emotional. I'm now looking ahead to next cycle and hoping, so in my heart I think I know I'm out. Get the evidence though I suppose. Once I have my answer, I'm going to order some pre-seed from amazon...has anyone used it? Supposed to be good xxx

 

[jayeriches]

Hi Ladies...hoping that I can join your group. This is my first time using this forum. I'm 30 my bf is 37...we've had 2 losses in the past year one on May 30 @ 27 weeks and one on Feb 5 @ 19 weeks. After the first loss I was devastated and cried all the time. I kept myself busy forming groups, talking to babyloss parents, doing presentations, making memory boxes, memorializing my precious little boy in anyway I could. When I got pregnant the second time, it happened the first month of ttc. I didn't know what to feel, it was what I wanted but I was scared out of my mind. I had a hard time connecting with the new pregnancy because I kept thinking that it would end like the first. When I found out at 16 weeks that I was having another boy I had a complete meltdown. I was able to calm down and with my bf and family supporting me I started getting more and more comfortable with being pregnant and preparing for another boy. I starting feeling him kick shortly after that and he would get really excited whenever I watched football (probably because I was always so excited). It seemed fitting that I would go into labor and lose him on the biggest football day of the year, where our team won. It was the most horrible experience I ever had...the Drs seemed not care what was happening since there was nothing they could do anyway. I gave birth in an emergency room with a nurse screaming for a Dr that didn't come for 15 mins. This past weekend was the first time since a week after my loss when I had to tell everyone that I lost my son...again...that I have allowed myself to think about it and cry freely. After that first week I decided that I didn't want to be sad or depressed anymore, I didn't want to think about it...I ignored all the cards, gifts and flowers that people sent and I avoided anything that reminded me of loss. I didn't spend hours looking at his pictures or touching his things like I did with my first son...I just buried him...I pushed all thoughts of my second loss to the back of my mind, and perfected the act of being happy. Not even my bf who always knows when something is wrong could tell the difference anymore. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore, not with my family, not at work and not in my old support group.

I know that I want to have a baby so I am working hard on trying to replace this tenuous facade of happiness with something stronger. Hoping that posting here and talking to you ladies will help and that eventually I can face all the people I've been avoiding for the past few months.

I met with a new Dr who specializes in loss and he is helping me figure out how to move forward and coming up with a plan on how I should be handled (for lack of a better word) in my next pregnancy. I've sent him both my autopsy reports and my full medical history and we start planning on Weds. Fingers crossed that all goes well there. I'm also meeting with a therapist just to have someone to talk things through with...I probably should have done that a while ago but better late than never.

When I started writing this I had no intention of it running so long but I feel a lot less heavy now...if that makes sense. Hoping for bfps for everyone and thank you for allowing me to share with you.

 

[Sooperhans]

Welcome Jayeriches and so sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that having a plan for next time will help you feel more in control of the situation, or as much as any of us can be. I hope you don't mind me asking but what were the autopsy results, is there any learning you can take from them?

I hope you find the therapy to be beneficial. And that it helps you to reconnect to your feelings. I know what you mean that when it's such a painful experience, going numb shuts you off from the full force of grief. Are you going to try again soon, or see how you feel after therapy? Please continue to share here and I hope it helps you

 

[Emmediva]

Hi everyone,
Lexi374 I know how it feeks hon, to do everything in your power and nothing works... makes you wonder how in the world one night stand pregnancies happen?! I hope your temps go back up.
Sooperhans, I hope this dip was just a fluke and your temps will rise again, sending you lots of positive thoughts.
Jayeriches, I'm so sorry for your losses, that's great about the dr helping you find out what's causing the miscarriages, and therapy will help you definately
AFM, my temp lowered some today, I think I'm out, I've had cramps on & off for the last 3 days, sigh... I am going to test again tomorrow morning if I don't get AF, but I am not holding my breath...
COME ON 2012 BFP's!!!

 

[jayeriches]

Thank you for the welcome Soop. Sorry for your losses as well. I definitely think that having a plan and being more closely monitored will make me feel a lot less stressed during the next pregnancy. I have no idea what either of the autopsy reports say. I thought I knew with the first one but when I met this new Dr the first time he looked at what they have me and the reasons listed for the loss and said that it didn't make sense...he spent some time with me calling the hospital I delivered at. He figured out that they never sent out the actual autopsy report (it was somehow misplaced) and the information they gave me which said I had an infection was not 100% accurate. The second autopsy report just came back and we are going to go over them both on Weds along with his plan. Right now he doesn't think that the two losses are related which kind of unnerves me. The first loss at 27 weeks the baby past and I had to be induced with the second loss at 19 weeks my cervix opened and I went into labor on my own. I've done about $6k worth of testing (I couldn't believe they would cost so much) and so far nothing looks wrong except for a small poly in my uterus which should not be the cause of my problems. Idk if that is good news or bad news though.

I don't want to wait to try again...I'm hoping that after this weeks appt the Dr gives me the green light so we'll see. It's so funny. I was previously married and we tried but I never got pregnant. My GYN at the time told me that I would not be able to get pregnant. He wanted kids I didn't feel like I could give them to him, I gave up on thinking that I could have my own children. We started fighting about everything and ended up divorced.... Fast forward 4 years I meet my current BF and get pregnant...we were shocked to hell. Two losses later now I'm the one that wants to keep trying to have a baby and my partners is the one that is weary any ready to give up. Life and it's ironies.

 

[lexi374]

Welcome jayeriches and so sorry for your losses, you must be a very strong lady. I think there are some other ladies that have recently joined that have had late losses too.

Beach hope you start feeling better.

Emme yes it does make you wonder! Who would have thought it would be this hard for any of us. Am keeping my fingers crossed you get lucky tomorrow. Your temp is till high

 

[jayeriches]

Thank you Lexi and Emm...Emm: don't give up yet. Fx for you.

 

[Myangelavery]

Hi jayeriches iam so sorry and im sending lots of hugs to you!! I also had a late loss at 34 weeks and i know how terrible it is. I could not afford my therapist so i also found comfort reading other stories and joining online support groups. I love talking about my daughter still and her room is still set up. I lost her sept 2nd 2010. I had a good pregnancy up until 24 weeks or so when people at work noticed my swollen ankles i thought nothing of it thou until my hands started to go numb, but drs didnt care so i went along with it. Every appointment after that there was a subtle rise in my blood pressure until 32 weeks it was 140 over 90 and by this point i was extremely swollen and they did not put me on bedrest until i asked and screamed about my numb hands. At my appt a week later i had noticed lack of movement so i told him and was told to have a cup of coffee and im sure she will move and was scheduled a sonogram for the next week!!! I wish i had said give me one now! But by that appt she was gone. She was 3 lbs at 34 weeks...the size of a 27 week old fetus. To this day i have no answers and never will because our autopsy was never done even thou we signed for it and have fought tooth and nail on this we had to wait 3 days for her body because they were supposed to be
doing this. My doctors claim i didnt have preeclampsia i have even talked with lawyers because oc this and there is nothing we can do. (( When i got my files from the dr office everything had been changed i knew because they wrote that they measured my belly at 12 weeks and i kniw they didnt that early also at one 2 week appt i had gained 7 lbs in 2 weeks and was told to watch my weight and tha wasnt in the papers either. Its so sad that they get away with this so much. I hate hearing how much it happens. Im sorry i wrote a novel here but like i said i take comfort in reading other stories. I am not giving up hope as i have also miscarried 3 times also, i am destined to be a mom if it takes years. As soon as i left the hospital i wanted to try asap!!!! So i am including you in my prayer and hope that in some way i have helped or can help you. )))) please feel free to chat any time!!!

 

[BeachChica]

Jayeriches- welcome and so, so sorry for your losses. How horrible everything that you've been through. I hope you find some comfort here. There is a great group of ladies! I hope you get some answers from your new doc so that you can start TTC again and have a sucessful pregnancy!

 

[Memebug6]

Hello all. It breaks my heart hearing all of your stories. Miscarriages are so hard to go thru. I have had 2 miscarriages and possibly having my 3rd right now all in the past year. I had a Dr appt Friday and started spotting afterwards, and bleeding by Sunday. Went in today and ultrasound found no sac. Doing bloodwork to confirm this as a miscarriage also. All miscarriages for me have occurred between 5-6 weeks. My body can't seem to get past that point. I feel so emotional, I can't image how some of you feel that were further along in your pregnancies. Praying for you all to have successful pregnancies and find happiness after your losses

 

[Sooperhans]

Meme, so sorry you are going through this right now, I hope you take lots of time to rest and please use this forum whenever you need to xx


My angel, I'm sorry to hear such incompetence surrounding your loss and the autopsy. Really upsets me to hear, do they not care about people's lives?

Beach how are you feeling, still got the bug? How about you Lexi, how are your temps doing?

And Kat, is your early scan coming up? Lots of luck and best wishes and I hope it's good news hun

Afm, blood test tomorrow and I just want it done. Have been getting strange spotting, only very slight and mild cramping. Currently thinking that I'm out but at the same time, it doesn't feel altogether normal. Hmmmm xx

 

[Sooperhans]

Jaye, good luck with your Wed appt and I hope you get some answers from your doc

Emme thanks for your positive thoughts and right back at ya! Did you test hun? Fx xx

 

[jayeriches]

Myangel: I'm so glad you are not giving up...I am trying not to give up too...I feel like time is running out on me though. I see everyone around me moving on, having kids and I feel like I'm stuck. I can't believe your Dr's treatment of you. I wish there was some way that you could hold them accountable. It's so hard to trust Drs with your care or believe the things they say when you've been slighted by one.

Beach: Thank you. I am hoping for that to...I can't wait for the chance to be pregnant again.

Meme: So sorry for your losses. You should definitely get a full work up done. One of my close friends has had 5 losses, she did some testing starting after the 3rd loss but the one thing her Dr did not test for was MTHFR, which is a genetic defect that leads to recurrent loss within the first trimester. She got a job working for the Dr Oz show and he actually referred her to a specialist that diagnosed her. It's a simple test and the fix is a simple shot that you get when pregnant. Her Dr should have checked for it after atleast her 3rd loss (this new Dr that I am going to checked for it along with everything else and I only had two losses). When she asked her Dr why she was never tested the Dr told her that it slipped her mind and didn't think about testing her for that. At the very least her last two losses could have been prevented. Drs really suck.

Thanks Soop: Crossing my fingers that the strangness is because your bfp is on it's way.

 

[lexi374]

Meme, so sorry you are going through this right now, I hope you take lots of time to rest and please use this forum whenever you need to xx


My angel, I'm sorry to hear such incompetence surrounding your loss and the autopsy. Really upsets me to hear, do they not care about people's lives?

Beach how are you feeling, still got the bug? How about you Lexi, how are your temps doing?

And Kat, is your early scan coming up? Lots of luck and best wishes and I hope it's good news hun

Afm, blood test tomorrow and I just want it done. Have been getting strange spotting, only very slight and mild cramping. Currently thinking that I'm out but at the same time, it doesn't feel altogether normal. Hmmmm xx

My throat is a little better today but temps have taken a nose dive, im 10 dpo today, i think ill take prog for another day and then stop. I really dont know what else to do, how can you bd everyday for a week at the right time and still not get pregnant!!

Soop I have read that some people still get af or spot while on the prog so perhaps your body is trying to do that but the prog is keeping it at bay some what?
I hope not though, i hope you get a bfp instead!

Meme welcome sorry for your losses, mine have all been early ones too.

to all xx

 

[Sooperhans]

Thanks Jaye and hope you get to ttc again v soon. I feel like time is the thing that everyone feels up against all the while when ttc - when you've made up your mind this is what you want, it's waiting for our bodies to catch up! I hope it's everyone's time v soon

Lexi, glad you are feeling a bit better but sorry about your temps. Have you ever used the pre-seed? I don't know how all that bd'ing doesn't lead to a bfp either, boo. Maybe because you were a bit under the weather? I don't know but I hope you get a bfp next month....I'm going to be joining you, AF started today for me A day before a blood test! Wondering whether for curiosity's sake whether to have the blood test still or would it be wasting everyone's time...boo x

 

[Neversaynever]

Ladies and especially the new ones that have recently joined...

Damn that fooking witch she's not welcome in here

Lexi...it's so fecking hard doing all the right things at the right time and nothing...I wish I could do something

Soop...so sorry the hag arrived probably no point doing the blood test now as it won't show any hcg

Angel and jay...I am gutted you have both been through such tragic experiences really...nobody should have to endure a loss

I'm so glad I set this thread up because there's nothing worse than feeling all alone in this battle and journey. It's just crap we have to go through this

Xxx

 

[lexi374]

Soop big hugs hun, on to the next month eh?

As never said prob not much point in blood test now. x

Sorry no experience with pre seed, im not sure if patiently tried it? My friend used conceive plus which is similar and had success. x