A Little Sad :(

[Samantha87]

So i was talking to OH's mom today...and we randomly got on the topic of children ...and them going to school vs homeschooling. Near the end of the conversation she says to me " just do me a favor and don't have any, I already have 3 grand children" I was just kind of really put off by this statement. I didn't really want to argue with her about it ...so i changed the topic. OH's older brother had a really rough marriage...and divorce...and now has 3 children from his crazy ex wife...who has stolen from my OH's parents. So Im thinking that maybe she thinks that she will have to deal with this all again.
I was looking so forward to TTC but now Im not so sure....especially knowing how she feels. I have a while yet....not doing that until Jan 2010 maybe a bit earlier

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

To be honest, thats kind of shocking. Your OH's mum doesn't get a say in whether or not you get to be a mummy in my opinion. That other stuff with his brother is not your or your OH's fault so how can she say that! xx

 

[toffee87]

She'd come round when she see's what being a Grandparent to a loved child is meant to be!

And it isn't her choice, she shouldn't have a say at all.

 

[Samantha87]

Thanks ladies!
Yeah i know she doesnt have a say. But she does have an effect on how my OH thinks. I talked to him about it, and he understands where I'm coming from. Regardless we will be having children...but i would like them to be loved...just as much as the other grandchildren.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I definitely would not even consider what she said, in making a decision to ttc. I understand that as your MIL you like to consider her feelings, but it is your life, not hers-at the end of the day, it is what makes you and your OH happy that matters.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Thanks ladies!
Yeah i know she doesnt have a say. But she does have an effect on how my OH thinks. I talked to him about it, and he understands where I'm coming from. Regardless we will be having children...but i would like them to be loved...just as much as the other grandchildren.

they will be loved just as much hun, believe me.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

mmm not the sort of thing that you wanted to hear eh ! Don't let her stop you tho she may have just be having a bad day xx

 

[jen1604]

She'd come round when she see's what being a Grandparent to a loved child is meant to be!
.

Exactly.She will love your little ones hon,shes obviously just been put off by what her other grandchildren have done.But when your baby comes along I'm sure she will love them to bits xx

 

[bigbloomerz]

I bet thats not the response you were hoping for eh! Like the others have said before me, its your decision as to wether you have children or not, not hers, and she will come round once she realises what lovely children you have and how that you are not like your brother in laws family. xx

 

[MissyMojo]

bless u hunni, my mother in law is a bit like, so we're not telling her we're trying will tell her when we get pregnant, she's said she doesnt want to be a grandma til shes nearly 60! im not waitng 15 years just for her!! i'll be nearly 40 myself by then!!!

do what is best for u and ur oh, do it when your ready tbh the m.i.l is always gonna be the hardest person to please ever, and u never can please them!!!

take care hun

 

[gnomette]

she'll be fine when you do tell her your pregnant she'll be over the moon! my mil just said she never wants to be a nanny! but she will be she cant change either of our minds if anything its just made us think bout it harder and made us realise we want it more!
mil's can be quite difficult at times but i know hearing her say she doesnt want anymore grandchildren must be difficult!
you do whats best for the two of you you will be fine!

 

[Webbykinskt]

my mum changes her mind from day to day! one day she says she can't wait to be a nan but then she turns it around and says i don't think i'm old enough... luckily she's got a good few years to get it together lol