Hi, I guess I should start from the beginning.
I was 16 years old when I find out I was pregnant, I had gone to a party and after some pressure from I guy I liked I had a few drinks, the rest of the night was kinda a blur, but we ended up sleeping to together, my first time.
The next day he told everyone at school that I was a slut!
Awhile later I started getting sick so I went to my doctor and she ran some tests, and it turn out I had morning sickness! I was shocked, so was my mom.
My mom sat down with me and we talked about what I could do, I wanted to give the baby up for adoption. I felt I was to young and I didn't really want to be a mother. Time seemed to go pretty fast, I didn't want to know anything about the baby as long as it was healthy, I find a very nice couple to adopt him, at that point I started to call him a him. I was fine with what I was doing, and just wanted it to be over with.
Yesterday at about one in the morning I went in to labor. It's was like nothing I have ever been though, the pain was so bad! And it lasted about 12 hours!!
And then he was born, a little boy 7lbs 3oz. I can't put into words what I felt the second I heard him cry, it was like nothing I have ever felt before. I told them before he was born that I didn't want to hold him, but I get to see him for a minute when he was born, and then he was gone.
I'm home now, and I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my body! I keep trying to tell myself that I did the right thing, but every part of me is screaming that he needs me! and I need him! He's my baby and I'm his mommy! I don't know what to do! My mom says that I should go and get him, I have one month to change my mind. But then I keep thinking about how I didn't want him, and they did so much, and with them he'll have a mommy and a daddy, but I love him so much and I know it won't be easy but I know I can take care of him! I guess I'm scared i'll make the wrong decision for him, and he means more to me then life itself. I just want to hold him!
I was 16 years old when I find out I was pregnant, I had gone to a party and after some pressure from I guy I liked I had a few drinks, the rest of the night was kinda a blur, but we ended up sleeping to together, my first time.
The next day he told everyone at school that I was a slut!
Awhile later I started getting sick so I went to my doctor and she ran some tests, and it turn out I had morning sickness! I was shocked, so was my mom.
My mom sat down with me and we talked about what I could do, I wanted to give the baby up for adoption. I felt I was to young and I didn't really want to be a mother. Time seemed to go pretty fast, I didn't want to know anything about the baby as long as it was healthy, I find a very nice couple to adopt him, at that point I started to call him a him. I was fine with what I was doing, and just wanted it to be over with.
Yesterday at about one in the morning I went in to labor. It's was like nothing I have ever been though, the pain was so bad! And it lasted about 12 hours!!
And then he was born, a little boy 7lbs 3oz. I can't put into words what I felt the second I heard him cry, it was like nothing I have ever felt before. I told them before he was born that I didn't want to hold him, but I get to see him for a minute when he was born, and then he was gone.
I'm home now, and I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my body! I keep trying to tell myself that I did the right thing, but every part of me is screaming that he needs me! and I need him! He's my baby and I'm his mommy! I don't know what to do! My mom says that I should go and get him, I have one month to change my mind. But then I keep thinking about how I didn't want him, and they did so much, and with them he'll have a mommy and a daddy, but I love him so much and I know it won't be easy but I know I can take care of him! I guess I'm scared i'll make the wrong decision for him, and he means more to me then life itself. I just want to hold him!