Adoption journey

[aimze]

Quesiton for UK ladies...I have to take 2 days off work for the 2 day prep course which is 9-5 on two fridays...Now I used up all my annual leave getting married so have none left, my companies policy is that for adoption in Ireland you can have the prep courses off work...The England policy is no time off work, did anyone negotiate this or just book as annual leave?

xx

 

[Loski83]

Hi Aimze I was self employed so arranged it before hand. My husband had to make his hours up later.

 

[Loski83]

Hope you manage to sort it out.

 

[zero7]

Hi aimze

We both used annual leave. Could you bring forward some of next years leave? x

 

[aimze]

No, I work for a massive company an they're really anal about taking the years leave you have...I think when I explain what we need it off for my manager will just allow me to make hours back, possibly...Not sure about my husband though...

Thanks ladies you're great Doing some homework tonight!!

 

[karenh]

Dream: I am glad that you guys have come to a mutual decision. The wait is so hard, but so worth it when you bring little man home.

Lolly: Don’t be afraid or sharing your excitement! It is good for us to see it working out, and we are here through the bad AND the good. We are so excited for you. It is getting so close!

Lola: How stressfull to be going through all that. I am sorry you and your little one are being dragged through all this.

AFM: Things are moving slower now. Just 2 classes left and our interviews. I am hoping to get the scheduled today. I can’t wait to be approved. It feels like it is so close, yet so far away. Then, after our home study is approved we still have the unknown timeframe or waiting to be picked. I know the timing will be perfect in God’s eyes, but right now it still seems abstract and like it will never happen.

 

[Rainy123]

Aimze, I was very fortunate and my boss just let me take the days off out of the kindness of his heart. Still got paid and everything.

I am losing the will to continue with this process. SW now wants me to send her details of the last adoption agency so they can do a check with them. Surely this could've been done at some point in the last year? (Especially as I've given them the details on at least 2 occasions). And surely it should've been done before my paperwork was submitted to panel. I'm now really worried about all the other things that might've been forgotten.

About ready to sack this in and find me a sperm donor. Sorry for the rant, I will be back to my positive self after a good cry.

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh rainy what a nightmare i hope you get it sorted soon!
Karen it gets to a stage where it seems to slow down but hopefully you'll get sorted soon!

Aimze I'm a teacher and have an amazing boss, she gave me 5 days paid leave for our prep! Very fortunate!

We had our meeting with sw this morning, now have a new schedule of dates! I am trying to stay positive but am also realistic and know that nothing is set in stone! We shall I suppose!!
Hope everyone ok, love to all xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Rainy I am really sorry you are feeling that way, and you know what. you have every right to be! This is really wrong and I think you have to consider taking it higher now. You have been patient enough for goodness sake. BIG to you lovely

Dream you have a great attitude, I will be positive there with you, willing baby boy to be home for Christmas

Andrea how are you lovely? How are your boys and girls doing? How are you feeling now after the initial shock of the diagnosis? Thank you so much for your positivity

Aimze I took annual leave for the 4 days of prep. Visits were all granted as paid leave by my workplace and for both panels I have been given half a day of paid leave. I think given the circumstances that surely work may allow you to work the time back or borrow leave? Good luck speaking with them

Karen you are nearly there lovely lady I can't wait for you to be approved too It is very hard then waiting and not knowing how long you will be in that situation for. Really hoping that you are selected very quickly though, please please please Thank you so much for your kind word too hun

Loads of love to Loski and Zero and of course their pink princesses

Oh Lola, it's not fair

Bluebumble if you are reading I am thinking of you

3 sleeps until panel now, 5 working days left and 11 sleeps until we meet our girl Had a beautiful bag of presents on my desk again today! A winter dress, cute headbands and glittery pink baby shoes!!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

I'm doing okay we went to their therapist today and he thinks this is far worse than just autism He told us he thinks its a neurological condition. I'm praying its not what the worst case scenario would be which is HORRIBLE....Niemann-Pick Type C disease which I'm going to ask the neurologist if he can check a biopsy for it. I'm almost scared to think that its what is wrong but the doc today seems to think it may be he wants them tested ASAP because of how badly this disease can go from BAD TO WORSE I'm so scared .....just lots of praying now. It'll all be okay no matter what I'm gonna hold myself together for them They are my main concern. The boys are doing WONDERFUL. My little man is in PREK this year and older son is 4th grade. Haley is 1st grade but they are trying to get her in special needs school soon as she can barely keep up and is falling further and further behind. Myra the little one she goes to PREK Disability and is doing okay....the girls can't learn very well and have a hard time. But I'm sure after repeating and repeating they will grasp some of what we are teaching...I can only pray they understand Thanks for checking!! I can't believe its already been a month and a half since we finalized our adoption on July 21st Time FLIES! It really does! I can't wait til everyone is to where we are....I just pray that all the information is truthful and they don't just tell you all what they did with us. They said "there isn't anything wrong with them other than the way they were raised....they will eventually be normal just need catching up"......we have found that to be a myth It was false information....but I love the girls to death and will do whatever it takes to get them the services they need to help them cope with their lives

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Andrea I didn't know the condition so have looked it up and it does sound very scary, I'm so sorry sweetie I know from your posts you love these girls with all your heart and will be there supporting them every step of the way. Just make sure someone is supporting you too though. We are always here but sometimes you need real life hugs. Your boys sound wonderful I know you are a proud mummy of all your babies

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh my Andrea that is a very scary diagnosis to be possibly facing. I pray that the therapist is wrong honey.
Thinking of you and your family
Lolly how lovely that little ladyis so spoilt by your family and friends already! She is a lucky girl I can't wait for you to have her home!! Xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

She is super lucky (but between you and me I think it's us who are the truly lucky ones )

 

[dreamofabean]

Definitely! I actually almost followed it up with that! Lol
You are all very lucky to have found each other it'll just be amazing!! Xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Eeek!! Excited and nervous, anxious and impatient, happy and in love, so near but so far, my brain is mashed....

 

[dreamofabean]

I'm not surprised

 

[zero7]

Andrea- so sorry to read your update. Thinking of you. Hope it all works out for you.

Stupid question time but can any of the UK ladies explain the early stages of the education system to me! I read so many different things about ages and type of schooling that I am in a tizz about it!!!

Am I right in thinking they start at 3 and that is at nursery? Do you choose any nursery or is it best to get them in to the nursery of the local primary school? Do you pay for nursery school? What is Montessori? Do they start primary at 5?

Sorry for all the questions, but I am so confused!!!!!!!

Lou Lou x

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi zero,
Nursery school is the sept after your child is 3 generally, however some schools do rising threes and take 3 intakes a year, little ones go the term after they turn 3. So sept babies get 1 1/2 years at nursery school. I would say its beneficial to send your little one to the nursery school attached to your choice of primary school if they have one. Generally children are entitled to 15 hours so that works out as 5 1/2 days. However, adopted children have the same rights as looked after children in most authorities so could probably access full days if you wished!
Children start reception class the sept after they are 4.
As for Montessori I've never heard of it and I'm a teacher! Lol! X

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh, and state nursery is free, for the 15 hours or full time if children meet certain criteria. Some nurseries offer paid places to make it up to full time if you wish x

 

[karenh]

Rainy: Sorry things aren’t going well. My SW seems to be similar to yours. Pretty much no contact from him at all. Also, I don’t think he has gotten my file from fostering and he needs it. I hope they get their act together and get you the baby you deserve.

Lolly: Thank you so much for your kind words. How exciting that your leave is almost here, and your coworkers are being so generous. That is how life should be. : )

Andrea: I am sorry that there might be more wrong. They girls are so luck that they have you and that you are fighting for them. It is horrible that the agency lied about their wellbeing, and that maybe they didn’t do the work needed to help the girls. Can I ask you this? Is is worth it? If you knew of the issues before hand would you still have adopted them? If that is too personal, I am sorry and understand and feel free not to answer.