Adoption journey

[Lolly1985]

Oh Milty I really hope that is not the case. Can you call up SW and try and reschedule? I'm not sure how it works for you guys, but the all the waiting anxiety sounds very similar

 

[Milty]

Oh I tried. She was very put off.

 

[Loski83]

I hope you have all had a good weekend we have apart from being very tired lol.
Dreamofabean welcome and good luck on your adoption journey hope it goes smoothly and fast for you xx
Lolly I hope you get a great phone call tomorrow and get things started.
Milty I'm sure your little girl is waiting for you.
Butterfly I wouldn't give up yet every agency is different and vas are much more flexible and willing to work with people.
Zero hope everything is going good with your little girl.
Lyns hope everything is going great for you, sorry if I missed anyone xx

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh yeah of course you do, you will have a great knowledge already. And what a fab support you sis will be throughout this. The LA SW did suggest doing some reading to 'fill my time' until we are eligible to apply with them, surrounding child development... Is it wrong that I took great pleasure in telling her told her I had just finished a BA Hons in early years learning and development, so would that be sufficiant....? (My defence is I was MAD!)

I don't blame you!!! Yeah they told us to read as much as we can too. Tbh I don't want to get too obsessed reading everything yet! I became a demon when ttc reading so much so I'm trying to be more relaxed now.
Ive got a degree in psychology and I'm a teacher and special needs coordinator so I know a decent amount as it is

 

[Lolly1985]

They will snap you up DOAB! Are you a reception teacher? I work mainly with 1-4 years, but my remit is being extended to work with reception year in schools. Hope they are all little darlings....

Well.... we are meeting with VA SW next Thursday (4th) at home to have a catch up, see if anything has changed, go through some paperwork, and are on prep 24th, 25th and 26th October

So happy, and relieved, as after Friday I had irrational fears something else would go wrong. So far so good. She spoke to DF and he told me she had said she was so glad to hear from us, and had worried we had gone back to LA! Nice to feel wanted instead of rejected! He was honest and explained what they had said to us and she said it was disgusting! So excited, just not sure what to do now re, work... do I tell them or book the last of my annual leave? Even if I tell them it would probably have to be leave. Although sooner rather than later I am going to have to ask if there is any entitlement for absences, so maybe I should just bite the bullet.... eeeek!!

But overall very happy

to you all xxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Wow that's great news Lolly!
No I teach year 2 but I know quite a bit about development at all stages as I have to for my job! Lol.
That's such amazing news that your training is so soon! Wish ours was!! Xxx

 

[Milty]

I think it's normal to have concerns about everything. It's like being pg as you get closer your hope rises but the fear is still there.

I would wait to tell your work. They will contact them in your home study I'm sure but I'd wait to tell them.

I didn't want questions if I didn't get approved for some reason. Also I didn't want it to be held against me in some way. How it would be held against me I have no idea but like I said irrational fears don't go away.

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks Milty. I would only tell my manager and HR lady if I do say, but veering towards waiting at the moment. I think the 'holding it against you fear' is valid to an extent. I think in telling them they would be over planning around me going on leave, my hours upon returning, who will cover etc etc, and it probably won't be (all being well) until 2014. It would be uncomfortable. And if something went wrong it would be bad. The only reason I would tell them now is to see if I have any entitlement to leave. If I take the prep as holiday I may have to work Christmas which isn't ideal. But obviously prep is priority. I would ring HR but in a money saving exercise there is a big push within my sector (NHS) on eHR, so automated replies which are by no means personable. I just want a human to tell me some answers. may do some digging anonymously!

DOAB, I know, the timing is good to get on prep this year. It feels ages waiting (having enquired in January) in some ways, and has gone in a flash and things are moving quickly in another!

Don't know why I thought reception Year 2 are too old for me, it all gets too complex, give me the littlies any day

Hope you are all way on this horrible rainy day (in the UK at least!)

 

[Loski83]

Lolly your dates are the same as ours last year so happy for you xx
I would wait to tell work you should have a while yet before they need to know.
Hope everyone else is ok.
Our little girl got told off today for the first for pulling my hair all the time, just said no to her a few times quite harshly and she started crying felt mean but she stopped pulling my hair. Other than that she has been lovely all day xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Evening all!

Loski, hope you still have a full head of hair I bet the disciplining is brutal... we are so used to it within our jobs but you own child?! And of course they are still settling so you need a softly softly approach while setting clear boundaries. Anyway, it all sounds good and that she is generally being a little angel Bet you are still walking on air!

Hi to everyone else!

I have decided not to tell work until after prep and all being well, once we have officially applied. I have looked at my leave sheet and I can still have xmas and prep as holiday. I will just have no more then until they renew with new financial year. I do like to have back up just in case, but oh well!

I have started a LTTTC journal tonight! I have one on FF but it is all a bit long winded and mainly surrounds us sorting out money And while that of course is part of the journey I really wanted to start afresh and actually have a journal about adoption, not hundreds of pages before you even get going!! All being well it will be a lovely keepsake for our child/ren in the future.

Right, off to unload the dishwasher... my life is a thrill a minute

 

[Lyns]

Sorry I'm not very active at the moment. We didn't get our little boy and I'm rather upset as I feel we've been discriminated against on unfair grounds.

They placed him with the other family, as they were employed as opposed to self-employed, as we are, and as we don't receive any adoption pay, they felt the other family was a more secure option.

To say I'm seething is an understatement, as I think that we have been discriminsted against, based on the governments own rules. We are financialy very secure, and our businesses thriving, so whats the problem. I am in the middle of a massive complaint, but it won't do any good....he's gone. I don't know if I can trust the system to go ahead anymore.

We meet our social worker next week, but I'm investigating our options, as towhether we can change agencies at the moment....if we decide thats the way forward.

 

[zero7]

Ohhh Lyns, I cant imagine how you are feeling right now. I am so sorry hon.

I dont know what else to say apart from you should pursue your complaint and then, if you can, pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off and forge ahead with your adoption plan. You are a strong couple who will make ideal parents to a looked after child. That I know for sure.

We had so many hideous set backs with our adoption journey to the point where we wanted to just step off the roller coaster and get on with our lives. We didn't and I'm so glad now.

Dont let this put you off- you WILL get there in the end. XXXXXXX

 

[zero7]

We met with little pickles foster carers today. Everything went well and we got to see lots more photos of her. She is so cute!! Piercing blue eyes, long lashes, button nose, blonde mad hair and a cheeky grin!

We learnt so much about her and I have to say, we feel very lucky to be matched with this little one.

Matching panel is on the 8th Nov and intros start on the 20th.

Loving your news Lolly!

XXX

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Lyns I'm so so sorry I can't imagine how hurt you must feel. I think head to heads are just cruel, and like you have said, you invest so much emotion into a LO for it to be taken away. It's wrong The system can be so so wrong. Thinking of you, wish there was more I could say or do

 

[Lolly1985]

Zero, your little lady sounds beautiful! You must be on How old is she if you don't mind me asking? I'm sure you have said, sorry Your story shows that grit and determination, but ultimately the love and desire to be parents all pay off a million times over. very happy for you

 

[zero7]

Lolly- she is ten months at the mo. She will be just over a yr old when she comes into our lives! And yes, we are on

XXXX

 

[Loski83]

Lyns I'm so sorry for what has happened and I think the same as lyns you need to keep going as there is a very lucky child out there that will be calling you mammy so keep going xx

 

[Loski83]

Zero I bet your so excited and she sounds adorable. When's her birthday sounds like our girls are very close in age xx

 

[Loski83]

Lolly still got all my hair, it was hard to be stern with her but I think it's better that she knows that pulling hair isn't nice especially mine lol.
We have been for a 4 mile walk today so feeling rather tired now, she has been lovely and smiley most of today with only a few screams when I leave a room.

 

[zero7]

Pickles bedroom. I made the mobiles for her!