Adoption journey

[Lolly1985]

Hi all, and thanks for thinking of us Loski!

Today went well, but my goodness are we tired now!! Was quite nervous going in, especially as we were told they would be making observations of us throughout the sessions!

We did lots in groups and they split me and DF up! But was all ok, everyone was nice, and was interesting to hear other people’s opinions, experiences and perspectives. We looked at child development and attachment (which was strange having just studied it all for three years, haha!) Looked at some example profiles and some scenarios, eg, child not settled at bedtime – what would you do? Also went over some case histories and cycle of neglect which was very sad. We have some homework about what we would or wouldn’t consider re, a child’s needs, history’s and medical or special needs status.

Tomorrow we look at names, matching and parenting. Looking forward to it as our SW is presenting.

Hope all of you are well, off to bed early doors tonight!!

Lolly xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh all sounds quite interesting!!! x

 

[Loski83]

Sounds like you have had a very full on day, hope tomorrow is as good xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Really enjoyed today!! Discussed names and the make up of our personal identity. This lead to preserving histories and the importance of children knowing about their past and maintaining healthy links. Then went on to matching considerations and the varying needs of children awaiting adoption. Then looked at play and positive praise. then case studies surrounding troubles at meal and bedtimes and coping strategies. Finally spoke a little about panel and made a list of questions for the 4 adopters who will be doing a Q & A session tomorrow morning. Also have our photos taken for PAR tomorrow. All good!!

Hope evryone is ok today - nearly weekend

 

[Lolly1985]

We had a great last day and on reflection have really enjoyed the whole of prep. It has opened our eyes to why SWs do what they do, and that, while invasive, the process is integral to the end product - a successful placement. Met 4 adopters today and many of us (well the girls at least!) were in tears. It is so heart warming, and the love for their children is so apparent. Then read some example life history stories. More tears! DF was very positive and we are both going to be doping our homework this weekend all ready for home assessment to start on 8th November. I have really shifted some of my opinions towards certain elements of the process, like meeting birth parents, and today we were given something tangible in the Q&A session with real life people! And it proved to us that they know what they are doing so embrace it!

I'm sure this all sounds very familiar to a lot of you....

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah I'm glad it's all gone well I can't wait til we have ours now!! X

 

[Nicki123]

Hi everyone - I came across your thread and started reading from the beginning. I'm up to page 10

I am not looking into adoption at the moment, but have a feeling I might be soon. I recently went through my 5th mc, and tbh after the 3rd one have been thinking long and hard about adoption. I discussed it with DH again today, we have agreed we'll give ttc one more try, but that if it soesnt happen for us we will seriously start the ball rolling with adoption. I really think adoption is going to be part of my life at some point.

Anyway, I didn't want to just read and run. I think you are all wonderful and I can't wait to read the rest of this thread later.

Oh and dreamofabean, I just love your quote " Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning how to dance in the rain "

 

[Lolly1985]

Nicki

So sorry to hear of your losses, so very sad While I of course hope that you are successful in your ttc journey, I want you to know that adoption is a wonderful thing. Of course you have to take the rough with the smooth, but that is the same with anything in life, and sadly you have experience of this. For me adoption has shone a very bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel and I am finally excited to think about when I am a mum, as opposed to if.

I wish you love and luck in your journey, however you get there

Lolly xxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi Nicky,
I can only ditto what Lolly has said! X

 

[Loski83]

Hi nicky I also agree with lolly, plus upstairs in her cot is the most amazing little girl that we wouldn't have if it wasn't for adoption.
We have had lo's birthday party today it was crazy but fun and I looked at her today in the middle of all her cousins playing and she looked so happy and settled I had such a rush of love.

 

[Lolly1985]

Loski

Happy Birthday to your littlie

 

[bluebumble]

Hi Girls,

Thought as I hadnt been on in such a long time it was about time I updated you all,

Firstly - Happy birthday to loski's little one and great news on the prep lolly. Hope everyone else is doing well

we are nearly finished home study, we have one more individual interview each, a looooong home study session next week and health and safety and pet report to complete then we are hopefully done Our referees have been interviewed except one which is within 2 weeks but I know will be fine as its family. Our sw has said we should be at december panel, which I am so hoping is true

Loski - how much prep did you do before lo came? did you buy anything in advance?

 

[Loski83]

Hi we had all of room done and everything bought. Once you start intros and bring lo home you won't have time, however if its an older child they would want to choose stuff themselves.

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi BB!

You have motored along Great to hear that you are close to panel now, how have you found it all? Nice to hear from you!

Can anyone help me out? Do you know what things they generally ask referees? Not that i'm worried, but my referees have all been asking and I have said I assume it'll be along the lines of how long have they known us? What is our relationship like? Have they seen us with thier LOs? What were we like? etc? But not actually sure

Happy Sunday to everyone. What to do... cleaning... washing... or going to play with MILs puppy!!! xxxxx

 

[Nicki123]

Thanks for the welcome. I have spent all morning reading the whole thread! It is so inspirational and you have just made me think even more that adopting will be a wonderful thing to do.

Loski - congrats on your LO. I loved following your journey and had a tear in my eye when you got through your matching panel and when she came home. She is beautiful (even upside down!)

Zero - not long now until you meet your little girl. It is so exciting.

Lolly well done on your first class degree! You must be very proud. I am looking fwd to following your journey from the beginning, and that of dreamofabean, I think I'll learn a lot from you both.

Lyns I was sorry to hear about the reason you weren't matched with the first boy. It seems so wrong. But I think your friend is right, you will be matched with another LO soon and then will be so happy you waited.

Hi everyone else, I will keep following you all with interest. X

 

[Loski83]

Thankyou nicky xx
Lolly that's pretty much what they ask can't think of anything else maybe what support they will offer you when you have a child.

 

[bluebumble]

Hi all

Lolly thats basically what they asked our referees. They were just there this week gone

Its been an up and down rollercoaster to be honest. Some bits have been really intrusive and other bits have been lovely to talk about. I am lucky that my sister has just been through it and was placed with a lo not too long ago, so she has been great support when i felt like tearing my hair out. We have been having home study since june so its gone quite fast for us i suppose. it still feels like it takes forever. However, we keep thinking that this potentially will be our last christmas on our own, which gets me really excited

We have a really lovely but a little bit overstretched sw who unfortunately was off for a little while with one thing and another so we are cramming a lot in last minute. I want panel to be here now though, Im ready for it and i pray he can get everything done on time. 6 and a bit weeks and counting

when will you start home study lolly?

 

[zero7]

Hi Nicki - I too am sorry for your losses and wish you luck with ttc. However, if you do go down the adoption route 1/. It will feel so right once you get into it and 2/. I did an adoption journal in LTTTC journals from start to approval panel if you want to see what it kind of entails. XXX

Loski - Happy Happy Birthday for your little one's special day yesterday! Bet you had a great time and lots of wonderful moments to cherish.

Lolly - Can't add anything to your referee question- thats pretty much it!

Bluebumble - I second what Loskie says about prep before little one comes home. We have got everything ready (for matching panel you will probably need photos of nursery/ childs room for your album anyway) and there is no way you will have time if you go from matching panel to intros in a short space of time!

Hi and happy Sunday to everyone else, hope you are all well and all things adoption are moving along nicely XXXX

Today, I have been washing, drying and putting away a big pile of cute sleepsuits and other lovely bits from my SIL. Love it!!!!!

11 days to matching panel !!!

XXXXXXX

 

[Lolly1985]

Thanks everyone, that is great! I will let them know, I don't think any are particulary nervous (SIL will talk about is all day as she is sooo excited!), more nosey I think we will need a couple of extra references as I have only lived in this area 4 years and so will probably need another telephone interview with someone from home. Plus, as i work with children I think I will have an employment one too.

Bluebumble, home study starts a week Thursday! Excited! Great you are on the home straight to panel now. And how lovely that your sister can support you so well having been in your shoes not long ago.

Wow Zero, 11 days, so nearly in single digits! It all sounds a big whirlwind after matching panel and you will be cuddling Pickle before you know it

Thanks Nicki, glad you have enjoyed reading our journey. I'm sure you have come across a couple of big rants (I can think of a few I have made!) but it is all very much worth it!

Loski, hope you are your family have enjoyed the weekend together, and haven't had the rain we have had here today. Awful!

Hi to everyone else, Puppmom, Milty, BF, Lyns and Dream! xxxx

 

[Loski83]

Zero I'm so happy for you and it's great washing those little clothes and sorting them out ready. Matchinganel is getting really close I bet you can't wait to have your little girl home.
Lolly we haven't had much rain today but we had snow on Friday and Saturday.