Adoption journey

[dreamofabean]

Yay lolly!!
Well I've had a very emotional day. Dh has been adamant that he only wants one child placed at a time so he called the Sw and turned down the children we were shown. I have totally opposing views to his but if its not right for him then its not right for us.
I had totally underestimated how hard this part of the process would be. I feel like the worse person in the world!

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Dream you are 100% not a bad person at all. I know you know that really You are totally right and mirror what me and DF have said, if it is not right for one of us then it is not right. It must be so hard in reality though and my thoughts are most certainly with you. I'm sure when your LO finds you you will know that it was meant to be this way and i'm sure these two littlies will find their family very soon. Chin up chicken

 

[Loski83]

First of allgo lolly so happy to see that ticker we have been in this from the beginning together and it's fantastic to see that ticker
Dream if its not right for you both then one at a time is best and that child will be so blessed to have all that love just for them. Then when you's are both ready if you still want to lol go for number 2. The most important thing through this journey though is to stay strong together and support each other as even though men don't always show it adoption is very hard emotionally on both.

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh god Loski, I'm doing what you did and started reading back through our journey and got all emotional! Had to stop as leaving for work in 5 mins and don't want to arrive with panda eyes!!!

You must be so excited about the christening! Get prepared to cry again!!

Dream how are you doing today. Been thinking of you and really hoping you are not beating yourself up. You really have done the right thing for your family going forward. Big hugs!

How is everyone else getting on?

Just waiting for our PAR to be sent through today, know what my evening will be spent doing!!!

Love Lolly XxxxX

 

[Lolly1985]

PAR was emailed at 9.30 this morning, can't wait to read it with DF later, the wait is killing me!!

 

[Loski83]

Lol enjoy lolly, one bit of advise is to let the small mistakes go or your approval panel could get delayed. Hope you have a brilliant read about yourselves xx

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks girls
Lolly how exciting!!! It's getting so close now!!
I'm ok, I felt really dreadful yesterday. This was confounded when dh said he thinks he made the wrong decision! I could have gone mad. However having really talked again, I know it was the right decision for him and he's just feeling very confused by it all. It's far more emotional than either of us expected. After trying so hard for so long to be a parent, it's against every instinct to say no. I feel much calmer today though and haven't cried once

 

[AndreaFlorida]

We have the placement...our adoption is pending as for our 90 day transition period here in Florida...but the emotions keep coming. We took on two girls so we went from 2 boys now to 4 kids....its hard and DH and I are trying to stay hard on where we are. The infant mental health person that comes for visits told us that "regrets" of not accepting or skipping over children was a natural thing for us to do. He said "regrets" of when you get a placement are there as well and its perfectly normal. You always will ask yourself "what if" but if you feel in the heart that you're making the best decision for your family....then its the right one I hope this helps ya feel a little better. Hang in there this too shall pass

 

[dreamofabean]

Thank you so much Andrea, that helps a lot

 

[Loski83]

Lolly hope everything is ok with par x

 

[LolaM]

I calculated the 60 days from the date our application was sent to the state, and it looks like it will be July 8. Not close at ALL!! I didnt count holidays or weekends because I figured they wouldnt be working those days, so they dont count. We have a new waterpark in our area and I know my husband is hoping for a chld that is old enough for the park. Hes ready to go to the waterpark.

 

[Loski83]

Lola the time will go fast just try to occupy your mind with other stuff hard I know, but it works. If child isn't old enough there's the rest of your live to take him/her anywhere you's want to.

 

[LolaM]

Lola the time will go fast just try to occupy your mind with other stuff hard I know, but it works. If child isn't old enough there's the rest of your live to take him/her anywhere you's want to.

Thats true! 60 days is what the state gives themselves, so it *could* be sooner but it wont be later! I dont care what age we get, we just need some kids in this house...now im off to make hubs his fav cake!

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Guys!

Lola, hoping like Loski that it'll be sooner, everything crossed, you will have a house full of kiddies before you know it

Loski have a fabtanstic day with little lady tomorrow! It will be so special, can't wait to hear all about it. Bet it is still surreal isn't it? Enjoy mummy

Andrea, what you said to Dream is lovely, I know she will find comfort in those words.

Dream, hope you are having a nice weekend and panel is still planned for June. Thinking of you

Bluebumble, how are you? Still on a high? Hope you get a quick match hun

So we have read our PAR. We are very happy and there are only a few very minor errors so not too much for SW to change tomorrow. It reads really well, all positive and she has grasped what we are all about well. I have done my feedback (not sure how much to write but SW always says she has to crop my ork so have limited it this time ) DF is going to do his in a minute and then we will send it back ready for her to complete and (fingers crossed) send across Monday. Can't wait to get our actual letter inviting us to panel. At the moment I am excited, it still is a way off so nerves haven't kicked in just yet. I know they will soon though and then I will be sick to my stomach! I just want this so so much!!

Love to you all, happy weekend,

Lolly

 

[Loski83]

Hi lolly pleased your par is great. Not christening till next Sunday but very excited lol

 

[LolaM]

So I just heard that there are grants and scholarships for IVF. We are almost finished with our adoption stuff and would only get enough money for 1 round and the clinic is 4 hours away...

 

[Lolly1985]

Oops Loski, I am getting ahead of myself!! Must be excited for you, haha!! But one week to go, it'll be here before you know it!

What are you going to do Lola? It's crazy, if we started any treatment over here our adoption process would be stopped. How do you feel about it? I honestly don't think I could cope with anything else now and am so committed to adopting that the thought of treatment scares me so much!! It must be tough for you right now.

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh gosh Lola! I agree with lolly that I couldn't imagine the thought of treatment now!good luck whatever you decide though Hun!
Well today we have started sorting bedrooms! Well, dh dismantled the spare bed before wk and then left me to it! it's strange seeing the room without a big person bed in now!
I have realised I need to stop buying toys as I have far too many! although I have to say lots have been donated by our wonderful friends
We have decided to decorate our bedroom as finances will be tighter once LO is here and then make a start on the nursery! Exciting times

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Again...there goes that regret thing .......think long and hard about the IVF If you feel its right...then I'd go ahead and do it just to see what happens Just my two cents Prayers for your decision making I know how hard it can be!

 

[LolaM]

Oops Loski, I am getting ahead of myself!! Must be excited for you, haha!! But one week to go, it'll be here before you know it!

What are you going to do Lola? It's crazy, if we started any treatment over here our adoption process would be stopped. How do you feel about it? I honestly don't think I could cope with anything else now and am so committed to adopting that the thought of treatment scares me so much!! It must be tough for you right now.

I'm just not sure I can spend that kind of money for a maybe