Adoption journey

[Loski83]

Hope you've had a great day Andrea, everything seems to be happening for everyone now it's so exciting.

 

[Lolly1985]

Andrea, your excitement is contagious!!! I really hope you have all had (well, are having, it's not evening where you are ) a fantastic day full of love and smiles

Good luck with the homework monkey

So SW emailed again. She has seen LOs CPR now and had raised a few issues she would have concerns about. It is disappointing in a way as you just hope all is 'perfect'. But of course there are issues, this LO is in care for a reason. I really value her opinion. She is so knowledgeable and knows us so well and wants everyone to have a successful placement, us and the child. Reading between the lines we feel that she doesn't think this is our LO. She is sending the CPR, but also more profiles. She said she is sending a few so who knows how many that will be, 2, 3, more I am excited but really scared. I so want us to find our child, I know I will be disappointed if we don't. But equally I don't want that to sway things as this decision needs to be 100% right. For the child, and for us too. I can't let a cute picture, and nice name, the absolute longing to be a mum cloud my rationality. It's really hard. I guess we wait and see what the post brings...

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Yay Andrea
Lolly it's so hard isn't it?! You start to imagine once you have a name and information etc! I'm sure you will find your little one very soon!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

A little bummed...no picture but we took pics at home today before we left so I'll upload some of them later tonight I feel super sad we didn't get one with the judge but I guess he was in a super big hurry and was 2 hours late on our hearing....but it literally took 5 minutes seriously!!! It was EASY! I shed a lot of tears I didn't expect but it was happy ones!!!!!!!!! I'll write more in a bit we are working on getting dinner prepared

 

[Lolly1985]

Awww, boo, no picture!! But i'm sure you had a perfect day regardless, congratulations to you and your family Andrea!!

Another update.... it's all happening at the moment! SW rang DF. She really has concerns about LOs CPR and how it will impact his development. We really respect her decision and have decided that we won't continue with this LO. It is sad but the right thing to do. I feel guilty and then annoyed at myself as of course I shouldn't feel guilty, this is the right thing for everyone. We are awaiting some profiles in the post of other LOs, but DF got the feeling that these may not be ones to persue either, although he may be wrong. He said SW mentioned a baby that she is trying to contact SW about, and kept going back to the subject of baby. I wish she hadn't mentioned it as again, still early early days and I don't want to pin hopes on something that is possibly never meant to be. She also said there were two good links but too close so we are discounted. Wish she hadn't said that too!! I think she wants to reflect that she is actively doing all she can, but we believe that! She is doing a home visit in July, but doesn't want us discouraged if there is no news. It's all swimming around my mind at 100 miles an hour. I was happily plodding along until this profile on Monday and since then it's all snowballed. But in a mashed up confusing way. We are no more in the know than a week ago. She is a brilliant SW and I know we will find our LO, just not sure when. DF said that we will wait as long as it takes for the right match which is of course true. She is very happy we are not jumping in feet first at the first profile we see as she has worried I might apparently! I'm not an idiot, I have a massive desire to be a mum but I won't try and make a possible link work if it is not the right thing to do.

More confusion, more waiting..... Oh well, little brother is staying this weekend so that'll take my mind off things. Can't wait to see him, it's been forever. Love to you all xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

7 profiles since Monday, my head is really really spinning!!

 

[Lolly1985]

7 profiles since Monday, my head is really really spinning!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh gosh Lolly! That's a lot to get your head around!! Any initial thoughts?
Our Sw said she will only give us one profile at a time so we don't have to compare! Lol. I wouldn't know where to start!! X

 

[Lolly1985]

I think your social worker has the right idea dream!! Well of the ones she posted there are two we want more info on. The hard thing is these are children she already had on her system so the reality is if she then approaches children's workers it may be they are already linked. So we are trying to totally hold back. It's by far the hardest stage!!! But hopefully in time the most exciting! Hope all is ok with you? XxX

 

[dreamofabean]

Very exciting I can imagine!
I'm ok thanks Hun. Our application goes to the agency decision maker on Thursday, which also happens to be the day of nans funeral, seems quite poignant really!
Sw will contact us in a week or so and arrange to come out and then we shall see! X

 

[Lolly1985]

The saddest but happiest of days. Goodness what a surge of emotions for you lovely. There has to be meaning in those timings hun, she will be with you always xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

thanks Hun. Yup it seems more than just chance! She was so desperate to see us as parents!
I told her to go and search for our little one so she better be busy up there!

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh she will be, they will be home before you know it and she will have the biggest grin on her face watching over her growing family xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi all, hope you are well?

Dream, all my love to you and your family tomorrow. It will be an extremely emotional day, I hope you manage to remember all the happy times you shared with you nan. She will be up there overjoyed when you get your official yes. Massive to you.

Well profile overload this end! We enquired about another little one, but the full CPR revealed a complex medical condition so SW wouldn't forward it to us. he rang DF and said she was annoyed that the profile didn't mention anything about it as she said she wouldn't have given it to us if she had know as LO didn't fit our matching criteria. She rang LOs SW to complain about the upset.... ooops!! She has sent more, some we have said an immediate no to due to the close proximity of BF. We feel that while they assured us it was not a problem, we felt that it would be picked up as one down the line and we simply didn't feel comfortable. A couple of others we just didn't feel the connection with, but have enquired about some she sent us on Monday. We are really trying not to hold out much hope after past heartache. we know that the profile is a snapshot, that the child's SW may not like us yet, or that others may be enquiring too. So we are reserved, and know that people are looking at us behind the scenes and SW is on the ball with these children. I really hope that we find our LO soon. I know I could fall in love easily hence holding back. But it's so hard when that little face is staring up at you from the picture!

 

[LolaM]

Hi all, hope you are well?

Dream, all my love to you and your family tomorrow. It will be an extremely emotional day, I hope you manage to remember all the happy times you shared with you nan. She will be up there overjoyed when you get your official yes. Massive to you.

Well profile overload this end! We enquired about another little one, but the full CPR revealed a complex medical condition so SW wouldn't forward it to us. he rang DF and said she was annoyed that the profile didn't mention anything about it as she said she wouldn't have given it to us if she had know as LO didn't fit our matching criteria. She rang LOs SW to complain about the upset.... ooops!! She has sent more, some we have said an immediate no to due to the close proximity of BF. We feel that while they assured us it was not a problem, we felt that it would be picked up as one down the line and we simply didn't feel comfortable. A couple of others we just didn't feel the connection with, but have enquired about some she sent us on Monday. We are really trying not to hold out much hope after past heartache. we know that the profile is a snapshot, that the child's SW may not like us yet, or that others may be enquiring too. So we are reserved, and know that people are looking at us behind the scenes and SW is on the ball with these children. I really hope that we find our LO soon. I know I could fall in love easily hence holding back. But it's so hard when that little face is staring up at you from the picture!

oh I hear that! How can you not love that little face? Charlie is begining to babble now and he can lauuuuugh! Ugh just melts my heart every time

 

[dreamofabean]

Lolly I bet your head is reeling!!
We had the call today that all is official, Sw is back from hols Monday so she will start looking then

 

[Lolly1985]

Congratulations dream!! Lovely news, it won't be long before you are snapped up as parents for your little one

Lola, glad Charlie is doing well!

We have had another profile and my heart flutters when I think of little one. So scared I am falling too soon when it is such early days

XxX

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Lolly I kinda feel you there. We had TONS of little ones and here they don't tell you in their profiles all their med conditions as not to scare people away but honest to God we were told both our girls were "behind" but when we actually got them and already half in love with them and didn't want to send them away we find out that mental challenges run throughout their family ....now we are doing everything in our power to get the girls the therapy they need to succeed later in life. They are VERY delayed in learning...and have a hard time learning and understanding much of what we say. DH and I had a chat today and it broke my heart....how they may never overcome this and we don't know what their future holds...but it doesn't make us love them any less..in fact it makes us fight for them and love them more....and when we are out and people make fun at them or treat them different I speak up for them and let them have it sort of say....it really flusters me when people blame us for their issues....because we've only had them since end of February....and its amazing how much more adults whisper and talk about them in public than children in their own schools. So very sad.....but just remember don't always let medical conditions steer you away....they might just be the one that has your heart from the beginning stay strong love....you will make the right decisions I know you will! Just go with your heart

Again not all of us are set out for children with disabilities.....but those of us who are blessed with those special little angels get enough blessings as it is from just seeing their eyes light up at the smaller things in life that they've never had before

 

[Lolly1985]

Andrea, thank you!! What a lovely and inspiring post. I was going to say your girls are lucky to have you but I know you will say you are lucky to have them as it is clear how much you love them both

Many people have said no you don't want that, you want this etc. No, that is what you want. A stereotypical perfect child. Well that little one has already probably been through more in its short life that many can contemplate. So they may not be what you perceive as perfect, but they will be perfect for us, and hopefully we will for them.

Hoping for news today but realistically it'll be next week now. Will keep you all posted. Please keep your fingers crossed!

Much love to all, Lolly xxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Fingers firmly crossed for you lolly xxx