Adoption journey

[karenh]

Wow! I am so glad that everyone saw that your kid is attached to you, he is yours and should be made official. He is having visits with birth mom and doesn't want to have anything to do with her, that is saying something. I am still praying things will work out for you Lola.

On that note, I think I am going crazy. I just got an email about a 12 year old boy who wa adopted at age 4-5. He is in need of a new placement that will probably become long term because he probably will not be going back to his home. Why am I considering this?!? I would have been 15 when he was born. I am on the road to try and get a baby. Am I going insane? I don't even know if it is a possibility for us to be able to go forward with this or even DH would want to, but ever since I got the email I can't get it out of my head. Ugh! I am so afraid that I want to be a mom so badly that I will take any kid that is offered me, even if it isn't the right fit. I just feel that any child deserves to be loved, and I have it in my head that I could love any child. Guys, talk me down. What are your thoughts?

 

[aimze]

Karen you are considering the 12yo because you have a big heart!! I see older children and i get so curious about them an mainly because i know other people wont and they deserve as much love as a baby...

Dream - I'm sending you big hugs hun! I can't beleive yet again they have moved it, I really feel for you an hope that once December is here the little man is all yours!

Well ladies, social worker coming next week so i guess we've been accepted into the next stage! Also had final recurrent miscarriage consultation - funnily enough, no causes for our losses and no reason why we cant get pregnant naturally...

Question...So we've been having unprotected sex for over 3 years now with no natural pregnancy...There is no scientific reason as to why we can't so there isnt any reason why in 1/3/10years we have a natural pregnancy...Is anyone else in the same boat? I just wonder what would happen if we adopted then had a crazy natural pregnancy? Do you use contreception to avoid this?!

xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Karen hunny, hugs. When we were looking at profiles there was a part of me that wanted to parent each child. This was partly wanting to help these children as they deserved better, partly desperation to be a mummy and partly guilt at saying no. But break it down. Is this right for you and hubby? Is it all you dreamed of? Does it feel right? will it fulfill your maternal instinct? I know you'll make the right choice for you, want in turn that will be the right choice for the little lad. Thinking of you!

Aimze, congratulations on stage two hun! How do you feel about the tests? Did you want a concrete answer? I have quite significant problems and so am not currently on birth control. However spoke to my fiance the other day and said maybe I should be as a pregnancy now terrifies me! I no longer have any desire to have a biological child and tiny baby which is strange given all the treatment we did. I think your social worker will expect you to be being sensible, some directly ask you to take contraception and others don't. Good luck with your next visit!

Lola oh poor little man, he must be so confused with all these new faces. Good luck to you

Love to all!!

Little pink is doing well! Today has been sensory room and tomorrow we are back at baby group. I love doing mummy stuff at long last. Still feels very odd though! xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all,
Thanks for the lovely messages
Lolly that sounds fab! I can't wait to do all the mummy things too.
Karen the first children we were offered I really struggled to decline. I kept asking people 'how if you know if the child is right?' Well now after having little mans details I can just say I knew. The first kids details I read for a week and didn't know. I sobbed after reading little mans details, it was an immediate connection and I knew he was right. So don't try and force a child to fit, you will find your baby and know instantly!
Aimze I'm not using contraception and haven't throughout although our sw thinks we are .... Oops I have always thought that our chances are so tiny id take the risk. It's not happened til now and I very much doubt it will ever!

 

[Monkey78]

Im silently reading all your posts, with tears, smiles, joy and hugs to everyone.
xxxx

 

[aimze]

Lolly I think I'd rather them find an issue than be "unexplained" my close friend got pregnant 10 yrs after first having unprotected sex...

If they ask I'll say I've learnt my body to understand when to avoid/use protection...I'd be terrified to be pregnant anyway.

Getting cold! Brrrrrrrrr I hate winter x

 

[LolaM]

Lolly I think I'd rather them find an issue than be "unexplained" my close friend got pregnant 10 yrs after first having unprotected sex...

If they ask I'll say I've learnt my body to understand when to avoid/use protection...I'd be terrified to be pregnant anyway.

Getting cold! Brrrrrrrrr I hate winter x

Aimze, I AM having the same issue, hubs has embarrasingly large amount of perfectly functioning spermies and my eggs are as they should be. Hubs and i havent used protection in 4 years and never will again, it really messed with my hormonies. No one ever asked us about it, just if we had dealt with not having children of our own. I suppose we COULD have more testing done but it would only tell us what we already know. HAving baby in the house doesnt take it ALL away, but it certainly helps and im sure when he is mine, all mine I will feel ALOT better.

 

[karenh]

We aren't using protection and haven't except for one month where it was mandated by dr. We don't have plans to ever use protection, and our caseworker hasn't even come close to asking.

 

[Rainy123]

Hi all,

As usual, I find time to read but not to post. I am visiting my sister and niece at the moment so that is keeping me busy.

So pleased to hear about peoples progress and hoping for lots more positive news.

Karen - I know exactly what you mean about the young boy. I used to be signed up to children who wait, which lists profiles of children for adoption. When it ran out, I didn't renew because I just wanted to adopt them all. I hope that I can keep my sensible head on when SW shows me profiles.

 

[Loski83]

Hi all, we don't use contraception at all and haven't for about 9 years there's obviously no need for us to use it. I really don't want a pregnancy now very happy with our daughter.

 

[karenh]

Thanks for all your support guys. While I would love to adopt him, and can find many good things about it, I think I am going to turn it down. We don't know nearly enough information, and I just get antsy when I think about it. I will need to be patient and wait until I find MY child.

 

[dreamofabean]

That sounds like a sensible decision Karen. It's hard but your child needs to be right for you, or it won't be right for them x

 

[karenh]

Thank you!

 

[dreamofabean]

Today we dropped off our talking album and match paperwork to our sw office it feels very strange doing it not knowing whether we will get a placement order!! We will go to match panel before his court case.... All very strange! But we just have to keep everything crossed it works out ok! X

 

[karenh]

I can't imagine they would introduce the concept of you to him if they weren't sure that he was going to be yours. How exciting to see everything moving forward. I know it must be weird but also very exciting!

 

[karenh]

OK guys, what a crazy week. My sister texted me today and said "Karen! My friend knows someone who is looking for someone to adopt two kids from Honduras. 2 girls, 18 months and 3 years. I know that's not newborns but do you want me to give her your number?" YES! Of course I wanted her to give her my number. However, I have NO IDEA how I would go about adopting them from Honduras. Yikes! I have no idea if anything will come from this, but it is so crazy how we have gotten 2 potentials this week. I am freaking out a little bit because I want these girls so badly but have no idea how to even begin to make it happen. Pray for me please!

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh gosh Karen, it's crazy how quickly things change isn't it?! Thinking of you x

 

[karenh]

Yes it is. I have a friend who adopted two kids from Uganda and I was wanting to talk to her but she moved and her number got lost when I got a new phone. She ended up bringing her kids to trick or treat at my house tonight. I asked her if she new where I should start and she recommended I contact the US embassy in Honduras. Now I just need to figure out how to do that. : ) Thankfully she gave me her number again and said to call with any questions.

Also, our caseworker emailed today and said he should be done with our home study tomorrow and his committee will review it. That should be done by Tuesday or Wednesday. If the have no questions we may be approved next week. It is crazy what is happening this week, even though it could all turn out to be nothing.

 

[drudai]

Gotta keep focusing on the positive, Karen!! I bet everything is leading up to finding your child(ren). Excited for you.

 

[Rainy123]

Great news Karen - looking forward to more updates. I love when things are positive