Adoption journey

[Lolly1985]

Oh wow, I'm glad it's all working out for you. What country are you in? We all have worries about being able to parent. It's something we have wanted for so long there's a massive amount of pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect and the guilt can be hard in the early days when you don't quite get it right. I wanted to be a mummy forever too, I love it so much but some days I find it hard. That's ok, you simply can't enjoy every second, it's not real life. But you'll love your baby with all your heart and it doesn't take long to forget you didn't give birth to them. My daughter feels mine in every sense of the word, we couldn't be a more perfect match. She'll always have her history but we are her future. We chose her to be our very special baby, and she chose us to be mummy and daddy. It just works xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

I've just read that back and have had a little tear! Haha xxx

 

[aimze]

Awwwwwwww lolly what lovely words x

 

[dreamofabean]

Aww lolly I totally agree!
As for what others think, I've generally just had wonderful reactions. People who know see 2 halves of a whole who finally found each other, those who don't just see mommy and her baby!
I couldn't agree more with lolly that there are days when you find things hard, but I've never met a parent who hasnt said that!!
Mohini you just need to go with your heart and what feels right, don't worry about others and their reactions, they aren't important. People will never know what you have been through so could never fully understand your decisions but it doesn't matter. When you see your baby you know, everything you have been through suddenly makes sense.
Aimze I finished work on the Friday and intros started on Monday. It was very busy and I kind of wished id had more time, but as lolly said, id have just been wishing away time!

It's dreaded jabs day today... Think mommy might cry more than him! X

 

[aimze]

Oh dream good luck!!!!!! Poor lil mite! Xx

 

[Rainy123]

Oh aimze, so so happy for you (and a little jealous). Can't wait to hear how every step goes.

 

[aimze]

Awwww rainy, no news yet? X

 

[Rainy123]

Nothing at all. Sent a text to SW today telling her that I am completely fed up and considering other options but she didn't reply. Will try and phone her tomorrow if I get a chance.

I just get fed up with the false promises. I was told I would definitely be linked in January, then I was told definite by the start of march...and still nothing

 

[Lolly1985]

Really sorry Rainy, your social worker shouldn't keep promising one thing and doing another. It's not fair and messes with your emotions. I really hope she has the courtesy to reply tomorrow and reassure you she's doing all she can to find your little one. I feel your frustration. Thinking of you lots xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

rainy, can totally understand your frustration, as lolly says, it really isn't fair xx

 

[aimze]

Rainy you deserved an immediate response to that text...

Can you contact a centre manager (you're LA aren't you?) is there any children on CWW or be my parent?

X

 

[LolaM]

Baby boy is a doll. He is walking everywhere and he is sassy! Teething and growing. As far as milestones I wasn't worried. I'm a teacher so I "taught" him; when it was time to start standing I leaned him on the couch, I walked holding his hands. He will go when he's ready!

 

[mohini12]

aimy-its really hurt your emotions.very careless and unfair behave of your SW.
LolaM-very lovely experince that you are feeling to hold little hand of your little man and walking

 

[Rainy123]

Phoned SW today and she apologised for not phoning yesterday. Just told me the same old stuff I hear every time that things WILL happen blah blah blah. They still haven't actually been to pre linking for the little boy as some important decision maker is off ill.

I think I'm starting to annoy her but it just doesn't make sense to me. If I'm so well thought of and going to be an amazing parent why do none of them pick me for a child?

 

[dreamofabean]

the system just sucks Hun. The right child is out there though sweetie, it's just taking a bit of time to find them xx

 

[dreamofabean]

How long has it been since you were approved Hun (sorry can't remember: baby brain!) if it's 3 months or more they should be looking in the local consortium for you rather than just 'their' children. I remember when we were being assessed we were lead to believe that we'd be matched immediately so it came as a shock when we were that there were 'no' children waiting. It was only when we asked about a child from the consortium that they started to get a bit jumpy and within a week we had our boy's CPR. It may be worth stamping your feet a bit and saying that you want to be looking at children from the consortium x

 

[aimze]

Rainy I agree with dream, push for the consortium an call SW once a week! Do you know if they are doing background linking if you can ask how often they're sharing your profile with other La? X

 

[Rainy123]

I was approved in September, so a fair while now. I am reluctant to pay for children who wait or be my parent as it's quite a lot of money and they tend to be harder to place children. Although, it might be worth just doing it to get the ball rolling a bit.

I don't really know how the consortium works, just that my profile has been sent out now. I find it frustrating that I seem to be considered for one child and then it takes months for them to decide no and in the mean time I don't seem to be considered for any others.

Just frustrating and I am a complete control freak and hate that there's nothing I can do to speed things along.

 

[dreamofabean]

That is a fair length of time Hun, it's no surprise you are frustrated! Keep badgering them and ask about neighbouring authorities xx

 

[aimze]

Rainy CWW is pricey but bmp is like £8 a month so for a sneaky look....we've had 3 children's profiles sent to us and then we saw them on bmp, not nessasarily hard to place but maybe the La they're in hasn't many adopters etc...worth a look! CWW I personally think is expensive but so good! They have 3month twin boys on there right now, healthy so surely not hard to place? It gives you exact SW contact details so you can call directly with questions...£90 but maybe worth it to find your little one?

X