Adoption

[baby9]

Is anybody considering it? I'm 31 weeks and think OH is regretting the decison to keep baby. He would never agree to adoption so I want to know what my options are. I want my child to come from a loving family where it is wanted and I dont think OH is remotely bothered about his child and it upsets me. I've mentioned adoption butbhe said 'no way'. Can I still place baby for adoption or would he be given parental rights? I don't want to give him rights because I don't think baby will be properly cared for.

I've no idea how to bring the topic up. I know he won't be happy but I have to do what I feel is right. I just don't think we can offer what this child deserves.

I am already attached to baby so this is really hard for me.

 

[jozylynn896]

I personally never considered adoption. I'm not sure i could do it.
But you can give your baby up for adoption even after you have them so thinking isn't the problem.
I understand you want baby to have every opportunity, but don't do it just because you think OH may not like him or her.
I believe he does have rights though.
I can't tell you what to do but i can tellme you most men don't really even care for baby until they see him her.
Good luck though and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Whatever you feel is right.
I'm scared i won't know how to care for him but I'd rather try and try than someone else having my baby good luck xx

 

[MommyGrim]

He does have rights. I believe if you put them up for adoption he can choose to take full custody, but I'm not 100% sure, you may want to look it up. Like PP said, don't put him/her up just because your OH isn't 'ready'. If you want to keep him/her, then do. As long as YOU love them, then you don't need to worry about him. If you can, just talk to him and be completely honest with how you're feeling. He may just be scared since you're getting so close to your due date. Men go through different experiences than us since they don't get as attached as we do. I think talking to him may help clear up some things for you and it may make you more comfortable with your decision.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I have no experience in this, but I believe it is what the other girls have I said. Ultimately it sounds like you aren't even sure if adoption is what you want to do. Why don't you approach OH with an 'option to look at adoption'. Everyone wants the best for their child. Maybe you can try to get in touch with an adoption agency and talk to someone about it, and even talk to some girls who have gone through it. Don't make the decision to put them up for adoption until YOU and Fob are certain thatis what you want to do.

 

[jesssika]

Good luck, just go with whatever feels best for you and bub x

 

[MrsEngland]

Maybe try and sit down with FOB and someone else and really discuss what you want, adoption isn't an easy option at all so you need be 100% sure its what you want for your baby before you pursue it.

Good luck x

 

[baby9]

Things have improved with OH. I have spoken to him seriously about how I've been feeling etc and he seemed genuinely upset that I was upset. I didn't mention adoption in detail, because I already mentionedbit once and he said he'd look after baby. But I did sort of mantion it casually and got the same response

 

[LeahLou]

I considered adoption for a split second. FOB was much more serious about it than I.
But, I decided that I was completely able to take care of my child myself and had a great support system from my family. Keeping her was the best decision I ever made and was right for us.

Sadly, whether the FOB is a good one or not, he does have rights. You can also give temporary custody to a family member until you think you're ready to take care of the child. You have 10 weeks-ish so, that's time to think. But, it'd be a fight if you wanted to do adoption and the father didn't.

But also know that a guy that's about to be a dad doesn't get it like you do. You know that there's a human inside you 24/7 and it's coming out whether you want it to or not! It really won't hit him until the baby's born or even a couple weeks after. So, cut him some slack because he just doesn't get it.