Advice for an 18 month age gap?

[kimandbump]

Baby No 2 is due to arrive in less than 5 weeks and I'm starting to get a bit nervous. Anyone got any handy hints and tip as to how to cope with the first few months? x

 

[sparkle_1979]

I had a 22 mth gap. Try and let toddler help as much as possible, make them feel involved and important.

Try and spend as much time with toddler as possible. I also found that rather than saying "dont hit the baby" I'd just say "it's not nice to hit" so that they dont blame the baby if that makes sense..

It's a great age gap. The first few weeks are a little hard but once the baby is a few mths he/she will love watching the toddler x

 

[embo216]

I had a 18/19 month age gap It was obviously quite hard sometimes but also amazing! I really would choose that gap again, my 2 are best buddies (most of the time)

I never had any hitting or anything to the baby luckily, she was very excited! I think the best thing about such a close age gap is that it was like the baby was always there, they will never know any difference and I think generally don't get jealous as they too young

 

[nosocks]

Watching this closely as I will have a 20 month gap. I'm really excited and Hope they will be best friends but I do worry about the first time I'm left alone with them and mores the first trip out! My daughter is very good- sleeps well, eats well, is well behaved but I'm just worried about the logistics of things like having 2 in the supermarket and getting both ready to leave the house in the mornings for groups!
I will definately involve her as much as possible and she loves helping!

 

[kimandbump]

One of the things I am most worried about is breastfeeding the new baby whilst still giving my DD the attention she needs. I have memories of feeding my DD constantly for the first few weeks, I have no idea how you can do this and entertain a toddler too! x

 

[clairelou44]

I found myself constantly breast feeding Connor when he was first born, Keira had just turned 2 and I used to feel ever so guilty always saying in a minute to her when she asked me to play but the first few months fly by and things get so much easier. Just try to make sure when the new baby is sleeping you do something nice with the eldest so that they really appreciate it

 

[chubby cheeks]

i have a 19month gap the first few weeks were hard as my eldest just turned his back on my youngest. so everytime youngest was asleep we made as much fuss as poss playing with eldest, he soon warmed to him now all he wants to do is kiss him and always trying to help with feeds etc. when it came towards my due date with my youngest it did hit me like can i do this and we just took one day at a time and i wouldnt change it for the world really happy about there age gap xx

 

[embo216]

Yea I loved nap time for the baby and made sure I spent as much time as I could with Lily There were times when they were both crying, but you just have to think 'who needs me most'. I honestly think having a sibling helps them so much x

 

[Banshee]

I have 18 months between my two and it hasn't been nearly so hard as I imagined. I would definitely agree with some of the previous posters. I also don't say 'don't hit/etc the baby' I say 'we need to be really careful around baby coz he's only little' and generally phrase things like that so ds1 doesn't feel like he's being told off or blame ds2.
I breastfeed and I make sure we are in a contained space so I can see what ds1 is getting up to while I am feeding. I also make sure I am engaging with ds1 verbally while I'm feeding ds2 so he knows I'm paying attention and doesn't feel excluded.
As others have said make sure you make the most of time's when the baby is sleeping to do fun things with your toddler.
I think you have to be organised with two under two and plan ahead. Sometimes I have to move ds1's meal time's slightly if I think ds2 is going to need feeding at the same time (I'm demand feeding) as then I avoid having ds2 screaming for a feed half way through ds1's dinnertime. But you do sometimes just have to chose. The last couple of days have been hard for me as ds1 is poorly do needs me more than usual even just for cuddles and ds2 is on a growth spurt feeding frenzy but you cope somehow because you have to.
Good luck!!

 

[lauzie84]

I have a 20 month gap between my 2. As the other ladies have said, the first few months are tough, but it's def worth it. Try and get your toddler involved as much as possible. When the baby sleeps interact as much as you can and play with the toddler. No advice I'm afraid about BFing, as I FF. I've found that my youngest has just fitted in alongside my eldests routine. Good luck! xxx

 

[Evian260]

This was a good read as my kids will be 20 months apart as well! Thanks for the advice ladies

 

[Aunty E]

Imogen ignored Teddy for the first couple of months he was here. She has very rarely hit him, although now he's big enough to fight with her, they do have some hilarious (and painful) tussles over toys. I didn't find breastfeeding a probem, Imogen would come and sit next to me if she wanted a cuddle, and I did discover at the theatre when Teddy was two weeks old, that I could breastfeed him behind her (she was insisting on sitting on my knee at the time) if I really tried. Imogen has always been a fairly independent little soul though.

 

[kimandbump]

Thanks for all the advice everyone, its been really helpful x