- Joined
- Nov 11, 2010
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I wanted to post my story somewhere because for YEARS I searched high and low on google for "people like me" and found they were far and few between. I also want to scream this at the top of my lungs because after 15 years I am pregnant!
My husband and I got married almost 15 years ago and back then we weren't actively trying but knew we wanted kids so we didn't prevent. After a few years I started trying to temp and do ovulation testing but suspected I had PCOS which is why it never worked. Lacking in health insurance and money at the time we just did things on our own which is my story for almost 12 years. During that time I had 8 really early miscarriages ranging from 5 weeks to 9 weeks. The last one being about 13 years ago. Then apparently my body gave up. I couldn't get pregnant at all. My husband joined the service and we finally had health insurance that was good. I started going to doctors and they confirmed I have pcos; very apparent too. We did un-monitored rounds of femara (letrezole) but that didn't help. Metformin almost killed me (and I mean that literally I ended up in the ER). Finally I go into a RE (reproductive endocrinologist). I thought surely at this point someone can help me. I don't know how many thousands of stories I've read online so I was reassured it would work given enough time. So in between deployments we tried treatments. More femara but with ultrasounds this time. Nothing. Added in more meds and trigger shots. Nothing. Finally when my husband got back from his second deployment it got more serious. We decided to take the plunge and start paying for IUI (Tricare doesn't cover IUI for those who don't know). Three IUIs later no success, not even a chemical. I should also mention I had my tubes checked, they removed a polyp hoping that would cure things. I mean we tried everything. Finally they diagnosed me(us) with unexplained infertility. My husband's levels were good but his sperm didn't swim, even given all that they said I SHOULD have been pregnant. Then we found out we were moving home finally. One last trip to my RE and they denied to help me because for the first time ever I had 2 massive cysts leftover from my previous cycle. They told me this was normal and happens to most women and was shocked it never happened to me in the nearly 2 years we were doing the medicines.
Depressed... we moved. We did everything wrong. I was under the most stress of my life in that month than ever before. I was taking a lot of motrin. We only had sex 1 time. I even had 4 MRIs done so I was convinced I was very well irradiated (joke). I was told if I didn't get a period (as I often wouldn't with pcos) to follow up with a new doctor to check to make sure those cysts were going away. I told my husband tomorrow, which happened to be his birthday, if I don't get my period in the morning I'll take a FRER since I had one leftover from previous cycles. The next morning, and very proud I was able to hold it all night, I dipped my test in the cup. POSITIVE. OMG OMG OMG is exactly what I said. I ran into the room so hysterical my husband thought a wild animal had gotten into the bathroom. So for my husband's birthday we found out I was pregnant. I was scared to believe it was real. So midday after a Target run I took a clearblue nondigital. IMMEDIATE positive even with diluted urine. Forcing myself to wait until the next day I took the digital... Pregnant. Having been told if I manage to get pregnant again I'd be very high risk I was able to find a new doctor and get an immediate appointment. At my request they tested my hcg. My guess was 4 weeks 2 days my level was 1008. Praise God! Never had such strong levels. I'm going in tomorrow to get my HCG re checked and I won't lie I am absolutely terrified of the what ifs, but I am pregnant!
My cervix is low and hard right now & I'm dry as a bone. So don't believe all the hype about CM being thin and abundant after you're pregnant. I have no sex drive to speak of. My ovaries hurt like heck and I am nauseated.... oh and my nipples feel like someone assaulted them with sandpaper. Those are my symptoms. My only symptoms before my BFP were car sickness (a totally new thing for me that's really annoying) and peeing more at night. I was (am) a total symptom spotter and it didn't help me at all, only ever caused stress!
If you found this because you were obsessed like I am, downright depressed, without all hope. I want you to know you are worth it girl
. If you've been trying for a long time and everyone you know has a baby except you I want you to know I feel your grief. I tried to do everything the "right way" and I can't try to tell you what the magic secret is but I will tell you I did everything wrong and somehow it worked. Never give up. Ever.
Did I mention I found out I was pregnant on my husband's birthday and my due date is my birthday? I think God had a plan all along.
March 1st we're doing the first ultrasound and I hope we'll see a heartbeat 
My husband and I got married almost 15 years ago and back then we weren't actively trying but knew we wanted kids so we didn't prevent. After a few years I started trying to temp and do ovulation testing but suspected I had PCOS which is why it never worked. Lacking in health insurance and money at the time we just did things on our own which is my story for almost 12 years. During that time I had 8 really early miscarriages ranging from 5 weeks to 9 weeks. The last one being about 13 years ago. Then apparently my body gave up. I couldn't get pregnant at all. My husband joined the service and we finally had health insurance that was good. I started going to doctors and they confirmed I have pcos; very apparent too. We did un-monitored rounds of femara (letrezole) but that didn't help. Metformin almost killed me (and I mean that literally I ended up in the ER). Finally I go into a RE (reproductive endocrinologist). I thought surely at this point someone can help me. I don't know how many thousands of stories I've read online so I was reassured it would work given enough time. So in between deployments we tried treatments. More femara but with ultrasounds this time. Nothing. Added in more meds and trigger shots. Nothing. Finally when my husband got back from his second deployment it got more serious. We decided to take the plunge and start paying for IUI (Tricare doesn't cover IUI for those who don't know). Three IUIs later no success, not even a chemical. I should also mention I had my tubes checked, they removed a polyp hoping that would cure things. I mean we tried everything. Finally they diagnosed me(us) with unexplained infertility. My husband's levels were good but his sperm didn't swim, even given all that they said I SHOULD have been pregnant. Then we found out we were moving home finally. One last trip to my RE and they denied to help me because for the first time ever I had 2 massive cysts leftover from my previous cycle. They told me this was normal and happens to most women and was shocked it never happened to me in the nearly 2 years we were doing the medicines.
Depressed... we moved. We did everything wrong. I was under the most stress of my life in that month than ever before. I was taking a lot of motrin. We only had sex 1 time. I even had 4 MRIs done so I was convinced I was very well irradiated (joke). I was told if I didn't get a period (as I often wouldn't with pcos) to follow up with a new doctor to check to make sure those cysts were going away. I told my husband tomorrow, which happened to be his birthday, if I don't get my period in the morning I'll take a FRER since I had one leftover from previous cycles. The next morning, and very proud I was able to hold it all night, I dipped my test in the cup. POSITIVE. OMG OMG OMG is exactly what I said. I ran into the room so hysterical my husband thought a wild animal had gotten into the bathroom. So for my husband's birthday we found out I was pregnant. I was scared to believe it was real. So midday after a Target run I took a clearblue nondigital. IMMEDIATE positive even with diluted urine. Forcing myself to wait until the next day I took the digital... Pregnant. Having been told if I manage to get pregnant again I'd be very high risk I was able to find a new doctor and get an immediate appointment. At my request they tested my hcg. My guess was 4 weeks 2 days my level was 1008. Praise God! Never had such strong levels. I'm going in tomorrow to get my HCG re checked and I won't lie I am absolutely terrified of the what ifs, but I am pregnant!
My cervix is low and hard right now & I'm dry as a bone. So don't believe all the hype about CM being thin and abundant after you're pregnant. I have no sex drive to speak of. My ovaries hurt like heck and I am nauseated.... oh and my nipples feel like someone assaulted them with sandpaper. Those are my symptoms. My only symptoms before my BFP were car sickness (a totally new thing for me that's really annoying) and peeing more at night. I was (am) a total symptom spotter and it didn't help me at all, only ever caused stress!
If you found this because you were obsessed like I am, downright depressed, without all hope. I want you to know you are worth it girl
. If you've been trying for a long time and everyone you know has a baby except you I want you to know I feel your grief. I tried to do everything the "right way" and I can't try to tell you what the magic secret is but I will tell you I did everything wrong and somehow it worked. Never give up. Ever. Did I mention I found out I was pregnant on my husband's birthday and my due date is my birthday? I think God had a plan all along.
March 1st we're doing the first ultrasound and I hope we'll see a heartbeat 
1 week til the first ultrasound, I'm so excited. 
