Age gaps?

[aly888]

I was thinking about this this morning, and now there is a thread in here about someone else considering an 'ideal' age gap, but wondered what was most common thoughts among the rest of you.

I was always under the impression that the most common age gap is 2 to 3 years between children. But since being on here I have come across alot of women who are happy to have their babies pretty close together...So, for those of you with two or more children (or those of you planning two or more children) what do you consider the ideal age gap for you?

 

[aly888]

I have voted between 3 and 5 years because I think by that age Lana will be able to interact and understand better. Plus it gives me a good amount of time to sort everything I want to sort before becoming a family of 4

 

[nessajane]

Between 2-3 years is ideal for us... I hoping tyler will have a sibling by this time next year

 

[xsophiexleax]

Ideally I'd like a 3 year gap, they're out of nappies and talking etc, I can't imagine having a 1 year gap or something crazy close like that. I admire women who do!

 

[mandaa1220]

I'd like a 3-5 year gap... I can't imagine having 2 too close together, but I guess it will all depend on where life leads me!

 

[DolceBella]

I voted for 2-3years apart. Isabella will be old enough to have a little more independence, but not too big of an age gap if I want to keep going on for a third child. I don't want to get too old!

 

[aly888]

Huh, well my first comment has been blown out the water coz 2-3 years is the most common so far
I agree with them having a little bit of independence before number 2 comes along. But that said, I commend the women who do opt to have them close. My SIL is 5months pregnant again and has a little boy who is 1 in june, so that puts them a year and half apart. There is no way I could do that x

 

[Mamabel]

Hi ladies,

I have two daughters, ages 6 & 8, and they are best friends. They are close enough in age to be able to relate to the same types of tv shows, games, toys, etc. If they were three years apart or more, it definitely wouldn't be the same. Now I will say that when they were one and three years old, my head was spinning (a.k.a.---it was a living hell of stress!) However, since they have been 2 and 4, they just play and play for hours, and mommy gets a break. So, those first tough years have really paid off for us in that sense. I know a lot of US families space the kids out 4 years for financial reasons: only one kid in daycare at a time. It was tough to have a double daycare bill for 3 years. But, in the long run, it was worth it. We'll be TTC for baby number 3 this summer, and I'm hoping to have 2 good helpers! Good luck with your planning.

 

[Marysr]

My son just turned 3 and we're hoping to add a sibling by the time he celebrates his fourth birthday. Honestly, we just weren't ready prior to him being 2.5 or so. And also, I rather like the idea of having one child in diapers. Most importantly, my H and I absolutely love giving our son his "only child" time. He thrives so much and part of the reason we hadn't gotten on the TTC train sooner is because he relishes in the family dynamic that we have as a family of three. I just wanted to give him that as long as possible.

I also want to point out that just because kids are close in age does not mean they will get along or be close. My H and his brother are 17 months apart and they did not get along very well until adulthood. They were so competitive and my H does not recall the dynamic as enjoyable. I truly do not believe, based on everything I've read and people I talk to, that age difference is a factor in how well siblings will get along.

 

[tasha41]

3-5 years? lol.

I say that because with 2 years between my sister and I (and VERY different personalities)... things are tense! We fight and we are not close whatsoever.


I probably wouldn't want to go more than 5 years between, my OH is 22 this year, his brother is 19, and his other brother will be 14. The 14 YO drives the other two nuts because he's sooo young and immature by comparison... they don't exactly fight but to be honest he drives me crazy too - the poor 19 year old is sharing a room with him right now.

I'm tempted to say 3 years is ideal, for me I want my pregnancies somewhat close together, I don't want to bust my butt to get back into amazing shape to just get pregnant again and undo my hard work.

I loved being pregnant but I love every stage of my daughter growing up.. I want to continue to enjoy them all and not be busy with babies when she's 10!

 

[babesx3]

i've said 1-2 yrs
mainly as mine get on so well, and love playing with each other....such good friends its lovely to see.
15 months between evie and dylan, then just under 2 yrs between dylan and tilly.... i'd like a 4th with around 2 yrs gap too!!
I love my gang!!

 

[kazpeza]

there is 2 years and 3 months between my boys and it is lovely because i had time to enjoy my first before the 2nd came along and they get along fantastically so will always have each other but if i get caught again there will be 7 years between the middle and youngest one so undecided wether we should have 4 so that that one will have someone to grow up with

 

[aly888]

there is 2 years and 3 months between my boys and it is lovely because i had time to enjoy my first before the 2nd came along and they get along fantastically so will always have each other but if i get caught again there will be 7 years between the middle and youngest one so undecided wether we should have 4 so that that one will have someone to grow up with

Thats what my SIL has done. She already had two kids from a previous relationship that were 14 months apart (they are now 6 and 7) and after having my nephew last year told my brother she wanted to have the next one close in age,so is now pregnant again!! He would have rather waited, but a child at any point is a blessing

 

[4magpies]

I think 3 years is good because thats the difference between me and my brother & we have a fab relationship. Not to far apart but just far enough that i had my mum to myself for a few years.

xxx

 

[Kess]

My husband and I are planning a 4 year age gap, so the eldest is old enough to "help" and be easier to distract and so on when I'm focussing on the second. There's a three year gap between me and my sister, and IMO it's not a good gap. Too close to treat the kids differently (age-appropriately) and have the younger understand and not complain at not being able to do what the older does, but too far apart to actually allow them to do identical things.

 

[princess_bump]

i voted 3-5years, this is the gap we're looking for, for us, it works well, as i don't think before maddi was say 2, i would have been ready for another one
however, i think it just depends on you and your relationship, i don't ever think there is a 'perfect' age gap, it's perfect for the individual couple
i think we'd love 3 children, but i'd like a bigger age gap between number 2 and 3, so i think for us then, 5 years would be 'perfect'

 

[xLisax]

I've voted 2-3 years, thats our plans anyway We are starting to try in August and FX'd all goes well should be expecting a baby just before Max turns 3

I like the idea that I will have had the opportunity to spend a fair bit of time with Max as an only child and want to have him potty trained, able to talk a bit etc. So hopefully he'll enjoy helping out with his new brother/ sister and know there's a baby in mummys tummy! Oooo I cant wait!

xxx

 

[BradysMum]

Theres 22.5 months between my sons and I love it. Brady is old enough to understand whats going on and hes close to being potty trained. I would like a similar gap between Jacob and the next one, and reckon we'll get it as I doubt we will conceive until at least this time next year!

 

[kazpeza]

there is 2 years and 3 months between my boys and it is lovely because i had time to enjoy my first before the 2nd came along and they get along fantastically so will always have each other but if i get caught again there will be 7 years between the middle and youngest one so undecided wether we should have 4 so that that one will have someone to grow up with

Thats what my SIL has done. She already had two kids from a previous relationship that were 14 months apart (they are now 6 and 7) and after having my nephew last year told my brother she wanted to have the next one close in age,so is now pregnant again!! He would have rather waited, but a child at any point is a blessing

i would have had one sooner but my husband didnt want anymore he was happy with 2 but now they are getting older and independant (9 and soon to be 7) and they dont need him he has changed his mind,i think id like another after that so they have each other so ill just have to try again as soon as possible cause age will be against me else

 

[LankyDoodle]

I want another by the time Isabella is 2. 18 months between me and brother and another 18mths between him and next brother and that was a bit too close I feel. I want her to have a little friend close to her in age, not just a sibling to fulfil mine and her dad's life further. She comes into the equation as well now. Finances play a big part now too though.