Aggh - A very long rant about my relations - may be slightly controversial

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Lysal, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. Lysal

    Lysal Well-Known Member

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    I have 4 cousins who are all very young and have all announced their pregnancies within a couple of months of each other.

    They all had their first babies when they were 17/18 and have admitted it's because they wanted to get their own place and prove how grown up they were because they were arguing with their parents (who treated them like the teenagers they were -nothing bad) since then the eldest has 3 children this will be her 4th, the next has 2 and is on her third and the youngest have 1 and are on their second. Only one live with her babies dad.

    The thing that drives me nuts is none of them can handle the children they have. They all rely on family to look after them more than they do, and the kids that are old enough are all spiteful and poorly disaplined. They only keep having children because it means they don't have to work and can live off the state (and trust me they live well their kids always have the latest electronic toys, they have high end mobile phones and spend their lives on facebook) they just know how to work the system. The council even sent one of them on a training course to possibly work part time in the benefits department but all she did was learn more ways to squeeze the system.

    I am not having a go at all the people who genuinely are trying but need help from the benefits system but they have had their kids because they left school and didn't feel like working.

    I feel so sorry for the kids they have because they are intellegent but don't get any attention or support so they act out and I can see it will just get worse and worse as they get older. I just hate that some people have children to be a 'paycheck' (and yes I have had someone I know describe her children as this).
     
  2. Loui1001

    Loui1001 Well-Known Member

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    It's unbelievable what some people do, it makes me so angry as well when people are so blantant about working the system!!!
     
  3. lm81

    lm81 Well-Known Member

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    I do think theres a huge issue with the way the government deals with benefits.

    Im not going to have an opinion about them either way, but I know from going to Citizens advice and speaking to them about reduced Hours and how to live ect ( with my Partner) they bascially said that financially we would be better off If I wasnt to work. Im not doing it... but it really does go to show things need looked at.

    I can only imagine that its more difficult to be a single mum and juggle work and making sure that everything is paid and covered without restricting yourself because you are working... I guess this is why so many are happy to not work, as everything is offered.

    We will struggle, I cant see that ever changing ... what with the costs of daycare and so on, and if I was that way inclined, its very easy to claim that im a single parent and not work?! :(
     
  4. Mummytofour

    Mummytofour Mumtofive! BFing WTT!

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    Unfortunately until our country stop rewarding people for NOT working, you will always get folk like this.

    The benefits system is a great thing for supporting GENUINE need, but it also supports long term skiivers.:dohh:

    I remember someone I was at school with having her 3rd baby at 18 and telling me that if you were under 19 with one or more children, especially from different fathers, you were given the earth! Loadsa money but no morals or pride eh?!:growlmad:
     
  5. Emmy1987

    Emmy1987 Mummy to a princess!

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    Don't get me started on this!

    We applied for help, got refused because OH was working instead of claiming job seekers, and someone I know quit her job and got pregnant after finishing Uni because she didn't want to work any more and she is now very well off in her free council house.

    Us? We're struggling on my maternity pay, OH is trying to do as much overtime as possible and we're hoping we can cope until august when OH starts his new job.

    The benefits system really needs looking at. I'm just glad that it at least helps people who have nothing.
     
  6. Mummytobe85

    Mummytobe85 Well-Known Member

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    Argh this what reallly bugs me too!!!! no offence, but im working all the hours that god sends me in order to support these lazy a-holes who do nothing all day!!!!

    OH and i are just bout scraping to get by let alone with bills being sky high and mortgage rates rising! now there's talk of redundancy at my place and with me in this condition bout to go on mat leave in few weeks...

    I just hate this country's morals, they're willing to help who are happy to sit round but not do anything for the ones who're working...
     
  7. welshwarriors

    welshwarriors Joseph & Charlotte's Mum

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    Arrrrrrrrgh....people like that drive me mental.

    Hubby gets up at 6/7am and gets home at 5/6pm everyday (when hes not on guard, exercise or deployed) Your cousins properly have more money a month than we do and my husband could get killed when hes deployed. It drives me up the wall that the government doesnt say "hey something is going horribly wrong here, we need to do something" Especially its more likely that these children will grow up to be benefit seekers aswell and my children will have to pay for them. How is a country suppost to survive if ppl cant be bothered to work?!
    I'm a stay at home mum, dont get me wrong and I love being at home with my soon 2 children bt as soon as they are in school that's me off to work.

    I sometimes wonder what's wrong with doing it the old-fashioned way?! You know...finishing school, getting a job or degree or whatever, find a man and then have children. I dont even say marriage is a must, but at least tick the 1st 2 boxes.
     
  8. Mummytofour

    Mummytofour Mumtofive! BFing WTT!

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    My DH says that we should take a leaf out of these middle eastern countries and create an uprising or coop as in Portugal in the 80's!

    If ALL tax payers whether employees or businesses simply REFUSED to pay anymore tax, then there would be nothing to pay all the benefits these people receive. The government would have to have a rethink then eh?!!:thumbup

    It would also mean the HUGE financial foreign aid package would have to be scrapped too, which is another thing that bugs me stupid! I mean....why does India and China need billions of aid now? Grrr!!!!

    There are so many countries that need financial support, but because they are not a terrorist breeding ground or swimming in oil, we just don't want to know!!!:growlmad:
     
  9. Ozzieshunni

    Ozzieshunni Guest

    I dislike people that take advantage of a system that is meant to help people. I have to say that DH gets WTC and we do get housing and council tax benefit, but without it, we would be homeless. I'm getting MA at the moment which boosts it a bit more. What bothers me the most I think is that if you don't work, you get free dental. DH's teeth are in such bad shape and he hates it, but cannot afford to get the work done that he needs whereas if he were unemployed, he would get it! :nope:
     
  10. faun

    faun Mum to 2 boys and 1 girl

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    After the baby is born when you get CTC you and your oh should get an nhs exemption card so he can get free dental care and prescriptions then.
     
  11. nugget80

    nugget80 Well-Known Member

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    I have to at financially I ws far better off as a single mum, however I was a working single mum and did very well with my wages boosted by benefits and also being able to complete my degree at very little cost due to my status. When I was not working I found things a huge struggle even though ex paid maintenance each week so I find it very difficult to understand how these people are better off not working cos I know I wasn't. When I met oh and he moved in I was worse off as I lost all tax credits however the advantages, ESP to my dds, of being part of a happy family far out weigh the drop in income!
     
  12. Ozzieshunni

    Ozzieshunni Guest

    Cheers! I had heard that! Thanks for confirming! DH will be thrilled! :flower:
     
  13. nugget80

    nugget80 Well-Known Member

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    Think you have to get working tax credits to qualify for Nhs exemption card. I never had one for recieving just the ctc.
     
  14. Ozzieshunni

    Ozzieshunni Guest

    He has WTC now. They just change to a different name when LO is born :thumbup:
     
  15. Mother of 4

    Mother of 4 Mom to 5 & pregnant

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    Yes it's sad for the children but just be happy knowing that you are providing for your family and caring for your children. After all your family is all that matters :)
     
  16. jocelynmarie

    jocelynmarie Well-Known Member

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    The US is basically the same. I make a decent wage, but by no means a lot of money. I was hoping to be able to get some financial help for daycare only. However, I make too much money. And don't qualify.

    However, if I was to quit my job and stay home with Aidan, I could get assistance with housing, schooling, and so on and so forth.

    I won't do that though. I wouldn't respect myself at the end of the day. If I want to go back to school to improve my situation then I will take out loans, I will scrape penny's and save to make sure that we both have everything we need. Luckily FOB will be helping financially which I realize isn't the case for every single Mom, but instead of giving mom's free rides... and not helping them help themselves... they need to look long and hard at what they can do to make every one productive (if they are mentally and physically able to!)
     
  17. janey1975

    janey1975 Well-Known Member

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    I also HATE these scroungers! I have worked all my life to pay for them and they reap all the rewards. I don't know how they can sleep at night. I also have cousins that have done this but luckily I don't see them and they don't live anywhere near us. If they did I would move as I am deeply embarrased by them.

    I have a solution to all of this. Make them put the children in day care and then this will free them up to do council jobs such as sweep the streets, clean public toilets, mow lawns etc. The children could be looked after by a few of them all day. That way, they have to work full time in exchange for their benefits and have to do physical work, which will soon put them off having children. Also, we get clean public facilities. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. I think I read that other countries implement a similar system. The UK is far too soft and us tax payers need to stop funding them.

    Don't get me wrong, I am happy to pay for those that fall on hard times. With the threat of redundancies everywhere those who lose their job need financial support. But those that have never worked or see their children as pound signs, get off your arses and work!

    And breathe! Sorry, it does get to me :wacko:
     
  18. eeyore123

    eeyore123 Pregnant with baby NO 5

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    I dont work, my hubby does......... and he works 6 days a week and long hours to support me and our kids............ and i get sooooooo angry that my kids miss out on bedtime with daddy coz he is working to pay for those who choose not to

    And it gets worse as kids get older........... when u are struggling to pay for lunches at school........... but so and so gets it free.......
    when u get a bill for milk but bobmething gets it free...........
    when your kids wanna know why whatits dad and mum get to watch all the school plays but daddy dont
    I got so angry end of summer last year when i knew quite a few ppl who managed to get free laptop of the system coz they had children of school age!!!! i also have children of school age but i have to buy my own! i actually wrote on my facebook status at the time
    " i hope you enjoy your free laptops, coz they are part of the reason my kids hardly see there dad!"
    ' to which a 'friend' replied
    " i will thanks "
     
  19. chysantheMUM

    chysantheMUM Well-Known Member

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    I agree the benefits system does need an overhaul, desperately! There are too many people out there taking the p*** and just doing what ever they like with there time whilst us tax payers pay them for the pleasure to do so, whilst struggling financially ourselves. We have just had to accept that in order to afford to have a baby, we will have to fall into debt, take out credit cards etc and all because I am self employed and OH works full time. It seems so unfair that we will be put in this dire situation whilst at the same time paying tax everyweek to make sure that those who are not working have enough to live off. We won't even have enough to live on, how is that right! We could do with that tax back, to see us through a very difficult time :winkwink:

    janey1975 - that is a fantastic idea, it makes absolute sense, that people should earn there benefit if they want it. Why not, its how it works for the rest of us.

    I agree with most of the other posters, I would be better off not working, once you take into account all the perks that people on benefits get, free dental treatment, free vet bills, free prescriptions, free school meals, council tax benefit, free eye tests, housing paid for and then cash to spend on top, all without lifting a finger, it really does seem like an easy life. But I have too much self respect to live like that.
     
  20. CandyApple19

    CandyApple19 Pregnant with #3, PAL.

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    Thankfully all this is changing very soon, or so they say! i'm receiving help from the benfit system but i wouldn't dare ride the system! it's unfair.
     

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