Alcohol and pregnancy

[first alien]

i have had about a glass an a half of wine since knowing i was pregnant and this has been over 3 months with only half a small glass at a time. i never used to be much of a drinker before and every since i was young have alsways been a light weight so haven't drunk in excess since my 20th birthday. i agree that drinking is not something that is needed but wanted. i would never drink in excess with my baby depending on me. i know of people who have gone out during their prenancy and have had a few drinkks and not even realised that this was a problem. your friend does seem like she needs help and i'm suprised her midwife has not said anything to her. unless of course she hasn't made them aware of how much she is drinking.
i'm afraid that people will act how they like during this important time and will rarely listen to other peoples thoughts. i hope that her children do not suffer for her doings but unfortunatley it will be the child who will and not her.

SAM_STAR i hope your little girl will be ok. she has a very loving and caring mummy and deserves the best start in life which i know you will give her. xx

 

[golcarlilly]

I know one girl who thought nothing of drinking a whole bottle of wine at a girls night whilst pg and another who is a friend of a friend who drank and smoked as much as she always did whilst pg - luckily both of their babies were born without ill effect!

I stopped completely for the first trimester but I do have the odd glass of wine now - but only one glass, I just think that if you can't do the best for your baby whilst you are carrying it then what sort of parent will you be?

 

[becstar]

I stopped completely for the first trimester but I do have the odd glass of wine now - but only one glass, I just think that if you can't do the best for your baby whilst you are carrying it then what sort of parent will you be?

I have the occasional glass drunk over the course of a few hours (like one a month, if that) as I don't believe the research about binge drinking applies to very occasional glasses of wine. But either your friend is winding you all up or she's just an idiot. It's so unfair to her child - fetal alcohol syndrome is serious and will affect her child and her in the long run.

 

[10thSept]

I think it's each to their own when it comes to not drinking at all or drinking in moderation. Further than that though, foetal alcohol syndrome is REAL.
We're all here worrying about what problems our baby might have, having nuchals, 20 week abnormality scans done and blood tests. If you're concerned about your child being well, you have to avoid foetal alcohol symdrome at all costs, which means not drinking to excess.

I personally have chosen, since I can stomach it (meaning since the second tri started), to stick to the two units a week rule and only drinking wine, not spirits. I don't have 2 units a week by any means but that is my top limit. As I say, in the 1st tri, I couldn't stomach it but since then, I've enjoyed an occassional half glass of wine. I know people on here won't agree with it, from the comments i have read, but on the research I have done it seems that this sortr of level is within the reasonable limits and causes no harm to the baby, In fact some research shows that mothers who have had no more than two units a week can have babies who are faster learners etc... so I certainly don't think the level I've chosen after careful research is harmful.

I would go no further than this though and I do think that drinking a bottle of wine in a night is highly irresponsible given the problems it can cause for your baby.

 

[lolababe]

2 bottles is really bad. that s just plain being stupid

 

[elley_baby248]

I don't drink anyway pregnant or not i see it as a waste of money BUT there is a girl who is the same age as me and about 10 weeks ahead pregnancy wise and the other week went out on a girls night out and got hammered she said the next day on her facebook she had a good night etc and couldnt wait till she could have a proper night out, someone commented and said yeah when you can actually have a drink and her reply was "oh i did have a drink i was hammered just be easier when she's here as it wont make me sick" I mean that's a serious WTF comment i really wanted to say something but tbh it's not my place i do what i do for my baby and she does what she pleases with hers!

 

[amslou]

I agree with some of the comments here that they ladies in question might have been winding you up with their comments or exaggerating thinking its cool.

On the subject tho. I had an inch of wine when i was 14 weeks just cos a friend came round with 2 bottles and him and DH were drinking it so i decided to have a little bit. It took me 4 hours to drink that little bit and i felt bad afterwards. I have communion wine (a sip) once a month and i feel guilty so there is no way i could be drinking 2 bottles. Its a difficult subject really as nobody knows the "safe" levels of consumption during pregnancy if indeed there are any. So the current advice is not to drink any but its a bit like the medications - its immoral to test it and impossible to actually know the effects without proper testing.
Saying all this though personally i would be disgusted and horrified if i saw a pg woman drinking more than 1 glass of wine or pint regularly but i'm more disgusted by pg women smoking especially knowing the effect it had for a friend of mine when she smoked throughout her pregnancy.

 

[adzuki]

This is really sad. The research shows that binge drinking may actually be more harmful to the fetus than regular drinking of a glass at a time - because the poison is less diluted in the body.

If she feels the need to drink because of stress, then IMO she is using alcohol as a coping tool, and this is just the teeniest step away from full on addiction. If the stress is about chaos at home, then there are skills that she could do well from learning about how to manage that chaos - and there are lots of parenting programs out there, as well as stress management programs etc. The fact that she isn't choosing one of these other options, but is heading toward the easier option of drinking makes me quite a bit worried not only for her fetus, but for her other kids. In the group of students that I work with, over half have FAS, and none of them look like/act like the FAS kids that you find have pictures up on google - the truth is that often the damage comes out in behavioural ways (for example, ways that are often confused with ADHD or learning disorders) in perfectly normal looking kids. So she could well have damaged her other kids and not even known it. It might be helpful for you to call a social worker and ask for their advice. They may or may not look into it, but I am guessing that this lady, and all of her kids, could probably use some support right now. I don't know how it works where you are, but the social workers where I am wouldn't do anything like take the kids away - they would definitely try to find referrals to places where your friend could get help (and perhaps try to pressure your friend into realizing that she does need some help)

This is such a sad situation for everyone involved

A

 

[LousMom]

terrible! I have no patience for bad mothers! And to brag about it on Facebook? I can't believe it... you should say something to her

 

[christinalg]

She is getting her unborn child drunk!!!!! And whats worse is that she's bragging about it, that's just plain sick! It's child abuse without a doubt, and something should be done because she could be ruining a life.

 

[elainegee]

saw the thread going and had to give my opinion. Where i work, a mother that drank constantly throughout the whole of her pregnancy had her baby and 1 and a half month after baby was born it died. Now they said it was sudden death syndrome but surly all that alcohol in her system wouldnt of done baby any favours. there are also other patients in surgery that have had mothers who drank during pregnancy and some are brain damaged from it.

I would not consider drinking while pregnant, it isnt even an option to me. I know they do say 'oh one glass wont hurt' but i thought new guidlines the goverments advisors had said be safe and do not drink any alcohol. xx

 

[Missy85]

Im shocked that she has bragged about it on Facebook! I do agree a bit of wind up, but even doing it for attention or as a wind up is just soooo sad!

I havent drunk in my pregnancy only because im not a regular drinker anyway, i cant wait for a nice cold archers and lemo in the summer when hes here though...

I too believe each to their own in regards to a glass of wine here and there but when we are talking about getting drunk and 2 bottles of wine!! i have to say OMG WTF are you doing!! and if it is on facebook i would have to say something, not to be argumentative but because i think people who update their status's with comments like that are wanting comments back.....

just soo sad..

 

[10thSept]

elainegee - the gov advice is to have no alcohol.
If you look into the research behind that recommendation, it says that drinking in moderation, very little a week, is found to have no adverse effects. However, as the gov thinks most people would not know how to draw the line, it was thought safer to say no alcohol at all and so that is why the guidance stands at no alcohol. I don't think that's a bad think, I think it's an easier guideline to say so many units a week, esp because most people don't really know how many units they consume, but that doesn't mean having a glass or two a week, which equates to one unit, is terrible for the baby.
On most things, I agree, if there is a risk to the baby, then I love it too much to harm it before it is even born, but at the same time I like to take a sensible stance on the what you can and cannot eat or drink issue.

 

[becstar]

elainegee - the gov advice is to have no alcohol.
If you look into the research behind that recommendation, it says that drinking in moderation, very little a week, is found to have no adverse effects. However, as the gov thinks most people would not know how to draw the line, it was thought safer to say no alcohol at all and so that is why the guidance stands at no alcohol. I don't think that's a bad think, I think it's an easier guideline to say so many units a week, esp because most people don't really know how many units they consume, but that doesn't mean having a glass or two a week, which equates to one unit, is terrible for the baby.
On most things, I agree, if there is a risk to the baby, then I love it too much to harm it before it is even born, but at the same time I like to take a sensible stance on the what you can and cannot eat or drink issue.

I agree with everything you just said!

 

[polo_princess]

With regards to the OP . yes that situation is stupid and very wrong.

I had the odd glass of wine when i was pregnant and i see nothing wrong with the odd drink, my daughter is perfectly healthy.

To say that there is something wrong with you and you are ignorant if you have the odd drink whilst pregnant is infact ingnorant in itself

 

[AP]

Wtf? What a idiot! And there's me, too shit scared to take a bath in case it's too hot and there,s numptys out there like that?
Anyone can live without drinking while pregnant, why do people think it's a must? Why do people take the risk. You know, it upsets me. Because it took me so long to get here. Previous pregnancies i did everything right and yet everything went wrong. And then you see these idiots. Is there any justice?

 

[poppy]

I think you have every right to be pissed off with your friend.

I think 'drinking like a fish' throughout pregnancy is downright irresponsible and stupid. I know there is some debate about having one or two a week but drinking to excess is ridiculous. I personally didn't drink at all in pregnancy.

It also makes my blood boil when I see pregnant women smoking (especially when you see pregnant women slumped with a fag outside the maternity unit at the hospital). I know people find it difficult to quit smoking as it is an addiction, but I personally feel (and I know that this may irritate some people) that pregnant women should stop smoking the minute they find out that they are pregnant. The worry that it could harm your baby should be enough to make you stop - if you are going to bring a life into this world, the caring for the baby starts long before it is born.

 

[lisa_33]

i have had the odd glass of wine, but to be honest felt to guilty bout that to make it worth while!! to be honest i cant wait to be able to have a good few drinks, but i think its more of an appeal cos i know i cant! i cant understand why she feels no shame in drinking that ammount even to the point of sounding proud to have done it!! xx

 

[angelstardust]

Personally I think that anyone who drinks to that extend is irresponsible, but then I don't drink and hate the mess drinkers leave behind. So I may be a bit biased!

She shouldn't be drinking to that extent with children in the house relying on her anyway, never mind when she is pregnant!!!

(and for those of you worried about drinking before you found out, don't. The placenta wasn't functioning at that point so there was little to no risk)

 

[Tsia]

SInce I found out I havent touched a drop. I found out at 16 weeks gone and already felt mega guilty after a very hung over birthday in novemeber abd xmas AND then new year!!!!

I think my baby went cold turkey the day I found out. I havent had a drop since for the fear of MC!
But a few people say one or 2 units is fine etc.. which I am sure it is. And mags connect mothers that drank very moderately in pregnany connected to have babies with faster learning skills.. but still.. the guilt overwhelms me. I am dying for a tia maria and coke! or a baileys yum! but nope.. I can always decline when I feel that kick.