'Almost 4' year old still pooping pants....

[KatBar]

As the title suggests our eldest son, whose is turning 4 next month, still poops his pants.

He was a late bloomer with potty training in general and didn't start using the toilet for wee's until he was just over 3 years old (so he has been using the toilet for weeing, and wearing undies, for just over 10 months now). He needed a LOT of encouragement to get that started, but overall it wasn't too bad.

Poops on the other hand..... disastrous!
We have tried EVERYTHING!!!!!! Rewards (even ridiculously huge/generous ones) don't work. Positive encouragement doesn't work. Threats and punishment most certainly don't work, and in fact make it almost worse.
We've even tried the peer-pressure route with telling him (truthfully) that all his friends poop on the toilet and not in their pants, but he simply doesn't seem to care.

Now the kicker in this, is that he DOES actually poop on the toilet, but he will always soil his undies first (& never tell us or ask us to go to the toilet).
Basically everyday, we will smell poop, check his undies and sure enough he will have a poop stain (or very small poop), we will then make him go to the toilet to do a proper poop - which generally speaking he does with minimal to no fuss. This happens every single day, and we have endless piles of soiled undewear to clean.

His poops are not hard in the slightlest - in fact, (TMI) he leans more to the softer side of things. So it's definitely not a constipation problem.

Anyway, I'm very interested to hear from other parents that have had similar issues... Most my friends with kids same age (or in some cases, younger) have found the toilet training much more straight forward.

 

[_Meep_]

Soft poop can actually be a sign of severe constipation. When there is a hard mass blocking the colon, softer matter can leak round it and the child may not even be aware as the colon stretches to accommodate the blockage and loses sensation.

I'd rule this out before trying anything else.

Good luck!

 

[KatBar]

Soft poop can actually be a sign of severe constipation. When there is a hard mass blocking the colon, softer matter can leak round it and the child may not even be aware as the colon stretches to accommodate the blockage and loses sensation.

I'd rule this out before trying anything else.

Good luck!

Thanks for the reply!
I hear what you're saying, but I don't think it's the case with my son, as his able to go to the toilet (once we make him - after he has done a small poop in his pants) and do a proper poo with little to no effort. They're not small sized poops either, so it seems unlikely he'd be constipated.

 

[noon_child]

Thanks for the reply!
I hear what you're saying, but I don't think it's the case with my son, as his able to go to the toilet (once we make him - after he has done a small poop in his pants) and do a proper poo with little to no effort. They're not small sized poops either, so it seems unlikely he'd be constipated.

My daughter was the same - I was convinced she was not constipated. She never had tummy pain, never struggled to pass a stool, but we would get small bits of poo all the time in her pants. It only improved when we did bladder training (basically making her drink lots more) to increase her ability to hold her urine through the night. Then the issues with leaking poo stopped!!

 

[KatBar]

My daughter was the same - I was convinced she was not constipated. She never had tummy pain, never struggled to pass a stool, but we would get small bits of poo all the time in her pants. It only improved when we did bladder training (basically making her drink lots more) to increase her ability to hold her urine through the night. Then the issues with leaking poo stopped!!

Oh that's really interesting - I'll have to look into it.
How much water did she need to drink? My son already drinks large amounts of water (I generally fill up his 400ml water bottle 3 times a day).

 

[noon_child]

Oh that's really interesting - I'll have to look into it.
How much water did she need to drink? My son already drinks large amounts of water (I generally fill up his 400ml water bottle 3 times a day).

That does sound like a good amount of water to be honest...my daughter was probably only having about half that at that age. Hmm not sure what to suggest...

I used to get so frustrated with her saying she couldn't tell when some had leaked, that she couldn't feel it. I was sure she was lying. However when reading up that when poo leaks round a blockage or hard stool they really can't feel it, it made sense to me that this was what is happening.

Perhaps it's just early days???

 

[KatBar]

That does sound like a good amount of water to be honest...my daughter was probably only having about half that at that age. Hmm not sure what to suggest...

I used to get so frustrated with her saying she couldn't tell when some had leaked, that she couldn't feel it. I was sure she was lying. However when reading up that when poo leaks round a blockage or hard stool they really can't feel it, it made sense to me that this was what is happening.

Perhaps it's just early days???

Yes, I definitely feel you on the frustration! It's hard not to get annoyed at my son, even though I know it doesn't achieve anything.

I think our last ditch attempt before taking him to a specialist, is going to be buying one of these mini kids potty 'toilets' - it basically is a potty but they've made it look like a full blown toilet in toddler size.
My son is very private about him going poops on our toilet.. He will always tell us to go well away until he shouts he is done. At the moment we have a toddler seat insert and a step by the toilet, however it's not very stable and I know he likes us to help him on to the toilet.
So I am taking a gamble that if we buy this toilet, maybe he will feel more comfortable taking himself to the toilet 'privately'...
We have tried a regular potty but his a very tall kid and I think its too low on ground for him.

Anyway, it's all fun and games for awhile I suppose.. haha.

 

[Rags]

My friends son would only poo standing up for a long time after the was using the loo for peeing, she did a lot of research into this and it's seems it's quite common, especially with boys. he was aware of needing to go and she would quickly swap his pants for a pull up, let him finish then change him back in to his normal underwear. When she thought about it she realised that once he started toddling he was always standing when emptying his bowels and it just took patience and time until he worked out how to do it sitting down on the toilet. Good luck.

 

[SarahBear]

It sounds like you need to rule out a medical cause of this.