Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )

[CaliDreaming]

Sophie, I'm so glad to see you're proceeding with IVF. I think it's money well spent regardless of the outcome. It's a lot of money but so are a lot of other things like cars, clothes, etc., which people happily plunk down money for with very little thought. At the very least, you'll have the peace of mind to know that you turned over all stones and there'll be no what ifs.

 

[mitchnorm]

I've been absent sorry. No news here. Not more bfps since my miscarriage in April

So sorry Sophie xxxx good luck with the IVF. We'll all be rooting for you x x

7dpo today. The last few months I have given up symptom spotting as af always arrives. Sick of waiting here tbh

 

[AngelUK]

No real news from me either. Last one was a 23 day cycle, the shortest yet. No idea if I had super short luteal phase or if I ovd super early. I guess it is foolish to think it could happen at my age, it is so rare.
But most of you are younger and I am FX so hard for you all!

 

[mitchnorm]

No real news from me either. Last one was a 23 day cycle, the shortest yet. No idea if I had super short luteal phase or if I ovd super early. I guess it is foolish to think it could happen at my age, it is so rare.
But most of you are younger and I am FX so hard for you all!

How old are you Angel? (Sorry you may have already said). I was 43 in May....so I'm thinking unlikely for me but remain hopeful...maybe one will stick xx

 

[CaliDreaming]

Mitchnorm, ugh the 2ww. I hope you get a bfp this cycle. You just never know when it could happen. Your body is still probably adjusting after the mc.

AngelUK, as long as you are still producing eggs you are not too old so please don't lose hope! Part of the reason you don't hear about it happening for women our age is because most women have completed their families and aren't trying. Of course we're not going to hear from the women who have oops pregnancies on a board like this, but they are definitely there.

AFM: Three more months until we officially start trying. The closer that time gets the more I don't feel ready for a third child. My oldest has just entered kindergarten so we've gotten a huge financial boost from not having to pay daycare for her. With a third, we'd be back to all our money going toward daycare for another two years until our little boy enters K. Sometimes I feel crazy for trying for a third but here I am! Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better if we don't get lucky this time around.

 

[AngelUK]

Thank you both! You are right of course but I am 46 and I am torn between thinking I am crazy and too old and thinking maybe maybe... At least I will have tried I guess

 

[mitchnorm]

Exactly angel x x we can but try otherwise you will regret it. We have decided that if it doesnt happen by the end of the year then we will stop ttc. I get what you're saying calidreaming...our only daughter starts school next month.... she's 4.5. Sort of feeling that the gap is getting just too big and we are getting our freedom back a little...she is by no means self sufficient ha ha but ykwim xxx

 

[Sophie2015]

I've been following along all day but too weak and depressed and drugged to comment. But I'd like to add my two cents now.
First you ladies are my lifesavers because you understand exactly what I'm going through. Second I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I try to forget my age because if I don't my brain tells my body that I'm too old. Our mothers' mothers' mothers were having babies long into their 40s because no one told them they couldn't. So why not us. It's all I have to hold onto. And I'm hanging on for dear life right now.

 

[TTC74]

I'll be 42 when I have this little girl in February. I am praying for good things for each and every one of you. I know you have all been through so much. You deserve good things. Age be damned.

 

[AngelUK]

Oh Sophie! I am sending you so so many gentle

 

[CaliDreaming]

My paternal grandmother gave birth to my aunt when she was 46. They had nine kids already so they definitely weren't trying! I'm more amazed at the fact that women back then had the time to engage in baby making activities at all more than the fact they had them in their 40s.

My maternal grandmother gave birth to her last and eighth child at 39, but only because my grandfather died unexpectedly months later.

Also interesting to me is that both of them had losses along the way, including a stillbirth. Back then it seems women were taught to that losing a child is normal and not to grieve over it, but I remember my grandmother had tears in her eyes when she mentioned those losses in casual family conversation.

 

[AngelUK]

I know it was normal then and not spoken of but I cannot imagine that those women did not grieve. I suppose they were so busy with the truly hard life of a SAHM and had to just get on with things. I mean, imagine having no washing machine and no laundrette to go to either but to have to wash at home! That alone would have been so arduous! I think women back then were amazing!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Yeah, I could not imagine what it must have been to have lost a baby back then and have everyone telling you that you should just get over it. I know a lot of people reminisce about the good old days but we have come a long way in some respects. I just hope the medical community starts to revise its stance on childbirth and aging.

 

[AngelUK]

^ hear hear!

 

[mitchnorm]

I've been following along all day but too weak and depressed and drugged to comment. But I'd like to add my two cents now.
First you ladies are my lifesavers because you understand exactly what I'm going through. Second I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I try to forget my age because if I don't my brain tells my body that I'm too old. Our mothers' mothers' mothers were having babies long into their 40s because no one told them they couldn't. So why not us. It's all I have to hold onto. And I'm hanging on for dear life right now.

Oh Sophie x x x x x it will happen for you...hopefully for all of us I'm sure. Hope youre being looked after x x

 

[Sophie2015]

I'm still bleeding and cramping esp now that my methergine has worn off. No one seems to know why I hemorrhaged. I'm just so worried something went wrong and my uterus is now damaged.
As if all that isn't bad enough, my 21 year old niece by marriage who is pregnant may be the death of me. She's terribly unfit to be a mom and all anyone cares about is her and if I'm coming to her baby shower and bringing gifts. I haven't been out of bed since I got home from the hospital Thursday. Amazing how insensitive family can be. I certainly understand how our great great grandmothers must have felt because after loss #5 everyone around me has the mentality of "get over it, we've heard this sob story before". I literally feel like screaming.

 

[AngelUK]

I hope this is not how they truly feel. Maybe they don't know what to say to you and kinda push the pain away? It is cowardly but not everyone knows how to deal with another's pain, especially if nothing similar has happened to them.
I am sending you so so many hugs! I am thinking of you and hoping so so much that it will be your turn to have a baby shower very soon!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Sophie, that must really hurt when it's your own family being insensitive. That on top of the way they're treating your niece must be unbearable. I always feel awkward congratulating pregnancies where the mom is clearly not ready to be a mom. Yes, I celebrate the baby, but it's such a shame because that mother has not even had a chance to fully mature and experience life. Your career and education suffers and you never really get to enjoy being young, carefree and single.

As much as I want to be grandmother, it would kill me if my daughter got pregnant too young. My mother had me when she was 19, and she was always insisting that women wait until they're at least 30 to have children. She loved me but she missed out on a lot by starting her family so young.

I hope you have a good friend you can lean on for support because it sounds like your family just doesn't get it.

 

[aalam9199]

I'm still bleeding and cramping esp now that my methergine has worn off. No one seems to know why I hemorrhaged. I'm just so worried something went wrong and my uterus is now damaged.
As if all that isn't bad enough, my 21 year old niece by marriage who is pregnant may be the death of me. She's terribly unfit to be a mom and all anyone cares about is her and if I'm coming to her baby shower and bringing gifts. I haven't been out of bed since I got home from the hospital Thursday. Amazing how insensitive family can be. I certainly understand how our great great grandmothers must have felt because after loss #5 everyone around me has the mentality of "get over it, we've heard this sob story before". I literally feel like screaming.

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. That's how I feel as well. My sister is expecting her 4th baby any day now and my parents will go to be with her in the initial days. They wanted me to book a ticket for them to go and I told them that my sister should help them since she's the one who needs them. She was not even trying and we've been trying for a 3rd for 5 years and suffered 3 miscarriages. My family stopped talking to me for a while because they thought i was too upset and did not show appropriate joy when my sister announced her pregnancy. But we're talking to each other now, but it can never be the same as it was. It's hard to forget everything they said. Family can be very insensitive sometimes. Maybe they themselves are so sad for us that they don't know how to react and it would be sooo much easier for them if we would just get over it!

 

[Sophie2015]

Just thought I'd give this thread a bump and say hi. Still recovering from my mc and hemorrhage from my D&C and trying to decide if we try a round of ivf with pgd or if we keep TTC with IUIs (which we know we can) but risk yet more miscarriages. Ivf with pgd is so expensive with such a low percentage of my eggs actually surviving the process. And the thought of never seeing a BFP again makes me sad. But I'm sooo tired of miscarrying. I really don't know what to do. Part of me wants to continue with IUIs. At least I'd maybe have a few weeks of happiness before the inevitable. But on the other hand, what if ivf with pgd actually worked?!

Sigh. I'll be 44 in 2 weeks. Starting to have to really contemplate a future without a child.