Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )

[Lilchik]

Sophie - nothing in life happens without purpose, i am sure of it. Not everyone will agree but nevertheless it's my personal conviction. Many times during my long 10-year ttc journey I've wondered if I'll ever be able to even get pregnant. There were ups and major downs along the road but I never lost hope. And here I am today - almost 6 weeks pregnant. If you remember, we were on the July testers thread and you offered huge support to me with your kind words, for which I thank you. I am confident that all your struggles were not in vain as you are a strong woman, a true fighter and everything will work out for you. There is always a rainbow after the storm!!! We must believe and stay strong!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Sophie,
. At worst you have gained some life saving information but I think deep down your soul is telling you that your TTC journey does not end here and that is what is keeping you going. And maybe the cosmic purpose of the losses was actually to push you into pursuing IVF with PGD.

So many women have had great success after multiple MMCs with the help of Lovenox or other blood thinners and baby aspirin. I used to follow the journals of a couple of ladies on this board who had suffered recurrent MMCs who were able to have successful pregnancies after having blood thinners. Ladies just like you who experienced the depths of despair and who now are moms to beautiful, healthy childREN.

Everybody's case is different and there are no guarantees when it comes to TTC, but I remain hopeful that you will get good news in December and beyond. You have a good team of doctors looking out for you and whole lot of love and good vibes flowing from people you've never met on the internet.

I can't imagine how emotionally grueling the next couple of months are going to be. But just know that we are here for you!

 

[Sophie2015]

Lilchik- I had no idea. I am so so happy for you!!

I believe everything happens for a reason as well. But I'm no longer certain I'll ever have a baby. I'm not sure why but 44 seems too old. Yet 43 did not. I think time may have run out on me.

 

[Sophie2015]

Cali- I think the Lovenox will def help if I have a healthy pregnancy otherwise but I think my real issue is egg quality. After two of my 5 losses were confirmed as trisomy 21 and then 15 it just seems that's my real issue which Lovenox won't help.
I feel truly defeated. For the first time in my ttc journey I feel rather hopeless. You ladies pick me up. My greatest comfort comes from all of your words. 💖💙

 

[Lilchik]

Lilchik- I had no idea. I am so so happy for you!!

I believe everything happens for a reason as well. But I'm no longer certain I'll ever have a baby. I'm not sure why but 44 seems too old. Yet 43 did not. I think time may have run out on me.

Thank you so much Sophie! You were away for a while so you couldn't have possibly known. But yes, it has happened to me after 10 years!!! I know how frustrating it can be not being able to conceive even after a few months of ttc but for some of us the journey is much longer and sometimes harder. I, for some reason, believe that with your willpower you'll find new strength to get-up and move-on. Please stay strong and positive! You will not give-up on your dream, I believe in you!

I have an aunt who gave birth last year to a perfectly healthy little girl at 47. So, nothing is impossible!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Congratulations Lilchik!!! I'm so happy your journey has had a happy ending.

Sophie, I hope the success stories of others will give you some hope as you prepare for your IVF.

 

[Lilchik]

Thank you Cali! I am over the moon excited to say the least. Although this is just the beginning of my pregnancy journey but I'm determined to enjoy each day. It's been great so far, no ugly symptoms besides more trips to the bathroom, increased appetite. Hoping for H&H 9 months, well 8 already.

I have joined this forum about 4 months ago and found a great deal of support and encouragement from many wonderful ladies around this forum. I loved reading success stories, was sincerely happy to see others get their bfps all at the same time trying to keep my hope alive. The day I saw a bfp on my pregnancy test was probably the best day of my life so far and I know there are many more ahead.

 

[lunamoona]

Sophie, I am just catching up with your news, I'm so sorry you had this experience

I also have had a life threatening PE. I was almost 3 months pregnant at the time and I really thought I was going to die, as I fell unconscious by myself at home.

I was in resuscitation just going into cardiac arrest as I was given an intravenous thrombolysis that they told me would kill my baby as it would cause major internal bleeding. A baby that took a year and a half to conceive. I had to spend 5 days in the coronary care unit as I was left with heart damage.

I was lucky my little guy hung on and I bled mostly from my bladder. I was on the twice daily injections for the remainder of my pregnancy and got signed off from my Cardiologist about a month before I gave birth. I had no other real problems during the rest of my pregnancy and recovered really well. I was in labour just 4 hours and only lost 500ml of blood due to the blood thinners.

I'm sure it's all been a huge shock for you but just because you need a bit of extra monitoring, it doesn't mean you cannot pursue IVF.

I am on Warfarin for life and I don't notice that I bleed more than before, if I cut myself it's just a few seconds, my menstrual cycles are the same. I really don't think egg retrieval would cause heavy blood loss.

I hope you feel better soon

 

[CaliDreaming]

How frightening Luna! What a miracle that both you and your son survived! That is also very encouraging information on the blood thinners.

 

[Sophie2015]

Luna I am truly sorry you had that experience. I cannot even imagine it. But your story gives me hope.
I have so many concerns. My RE won't do the ER unless I'm off my Lovenox for several days prior but that's a time of great risk for clots because my E2 will be so high. But I also don't want to risk bleeding and my RE stops the retrieval process midway.
And if I do become pregnant I've worried about clotting or bleeding during pregnancy. It's all so scary.
And if I don't become pregnant my hematologist thinks I'll be fine taking baby asa for life as opposed to true blood thinners. Are you on Warfarin because your clot was large and affected your heart? My Dr says that because my clot was small and was triggered (likely) by the Follistim that I only need blood thinner during times of high estrogen and after surgeries. Hearing you had a PE during pregnancy and you are on Warfarin for life makes me wonder if I'll be safe with just baby asa for life.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. And thank God you had a good outcome!

 

[lunamoona]

Sophie, I was already taking (self prescribing) baby aspirin before this happened as my Dad has also had DVT's and a PE. It did nothing to stop this happening but possibly bought me a little extra time. His clotting issues are not due to a known disorder so my midwife was unconcerned, but I just felt uneasy. As it turns out, my clotting issue is also not a known disorder and my haematologist was unable to say if it was just due to pregnancy or genetic.

I was put on Warfarin as I had multiple clots in both lungs to the extent that I was just suffocating. Even on 100% oxygen I was still hyperventilating and barely staying conscious. The less oxygen I had the faster my heart raced until I heard people call out that I had no pulse and I was going into cardiac arrest.

As soon as you get pregnant they should put you on Lovenox again to stop a clot happening, it caused no pregnancy related bleeding for me and I was on the highest dose possible. It's a bit of a faff injecting twice a day but it really was no big deal and it does not cross the placenta so baby is not affected.

If your clot was small and triggered by the Follistim then the baby aspirin is likely all you need. Something to bare in mind is that all additional hormones will be risky for you, you should not go on any hormonal based birth control.

I'm sure your Doctor has given you the correct information for your personal circumstances but if your worried just avoid eating any vegetables with high levels of vitamin K (the clotting vitamin) whilst off Lovenox . It's pretty much anything green, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green beans etc. If I eat these before my blood tests it always affects my results, quite badly too and I get a call from my clinic wanting to know what I have eaten.

I know this is a scary time for you but many woman have had this issue and the Lovenox really will not cause any extra problems for you when you get pregnant.

I wish you all the luck with your ER and if you have any further questions just ask

 

[Sophie2015]

Luna- I've been on baby asa since July of 2014. Was on it when I developed the PE as well. I've been on Lovenox plus baby Asa since the clot was discovered and my hematologist is leaving me on Lovenox until after I'm done trying to get pregnant. Even if ivf doesn't work if we are still gonna try on our own I'll be on Lovenox. I just hope I don't need something stronger than baby Asa once my pregnancy journey is over. When I'm not pregnant and even while ttc I took baby Asa plus vitamin E. It worked great. But I always stop the vitamin E with pregnancy. Dr feels baby Asa esp combined with Vit E will be fine under non pregnant conditions. Hope she's right!

 

[Sophie2015]

And my bleeding risk during ER is because my Lovenox dose is double the usual dose. I'm on a therapeutic dose to treat an existing clot as opposed to the usual 40 mg dose given to prevent clots. I'll be on the therapeutic dose with or without pregnancy til January.

 

[TTC74]

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, Sophie.

 

[lunamoona]

I'm sure everything will be fine Sophie, your Doctor will look after you

I was on 120mg twice a day and went into labor about 12 hours after my last shot and gave birth in 4 hours. I needed 2 of the injections they give you to stop the bleeding and lost 500ml of blood. My previous birth where I had no complications I lost 200ml of blood.

I was worried the injections would make me bleed out but it was not the case at all.

And by the way I was 43 when going through my last pregnancy and all this happened and not in the best of shape either, but I bounced back ok and I'm sure you will too

 

[Sophie2015]

Luna- I just hope I have one good egg to get pregnant with! Just one.

 

[lunamoona]

Sophie, I really hope you do too

It must be horrid to go through all those losses but another way of looking at it is that you've had lots of times it very nearly worked. It's just a matter of time before you come across that Golden egg. I really hope it happens for you

 

[Mumof12]

Hi,I thought I would add my two pence worth lol I haven't been on here for a few yrs but used to b on here a lot my user name was quail but I couldn't get back into my account so have set up a new one anyway I have 12 children and my last two were really the only ones I tried for it took me around 6 months with number 10 aged 38 I think lol I also suffered a mc before him then it took a yr for number 12 also suffering a mc before u had him then I decided that enough was enough lol I then got a surprise positive in January last yr aged 41 but it ended in mc ,then nearly two weeks ago I have another surprise positive and I wasn't planning anymore and we only dtd twice don't know which way it will go yet I'm a bit worried as my dd is expecting her first in 4 weeks so a bit strange and also not a soul knows as I haven't really got my head round it yet,anyway just wanted to say that anything is possible whatever your age I'm nearly 43 now and when I was ttc it seemed to b a such a struggle yet in the past few yrs from age 40 it seems that the more I try and prevent getting pregnant the more I get pregnant haha and in all my life I've never seemed to have fallen pregnant so many times so quickly since I turned 40 so I'm trying to say that just because u feel your older dosent always mean you won't get what u want ,good luck to all the ladies who are trying and fxd u all get that bfp soon xx

 

[Sophie2015]

Ok ladies. Taking a poll. It's been 5w 1d since my D&C. Beta was officially negative almost 2 weeks ago. Today I have globs- and I do mean globs (sorry tmi)- of EWCM. So. Given my history. Pregnant easily. All mc's. And now the PE which makes another mc and D&C even more complicated. Do I ttc this weekend or do I wait for ivf. I'm torn. Part of me says wait. If this egg is bad too it could be disastrous to your health and ivf timeline. But part of me says what if this is the one good egg I've been waiting for?!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Such a tough question! I lean towards "go for it!!" When it comes to TTC, it seems nothing makes sense so there can be something said for letting the chips fall where they may. What are the chances of rare chromosonal defects twice in a row, even for a 40+ woman?

Also, your case is kind of puzzling to me because I always remember the standard medical line that bad eggs are much less likely to fertilize, implant, and go any further than a very early stage. I can't help but think those defects and your clotting order might be related, and that the blood thinners might give those egg access to the nutrients it needs to divide properly. Unscientific and maybe reaching I know but doctors don't see to be able to provide all the answers either.

Of course all of this is easy for me to say when I'm not the one having to endure all the risk and the pain of miscarriage. I think when the day comes you should go with your gut and what feels right at the moment!