Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )

[CaliDreaming]

I am just so excited for you!! I felt deep down you had a good shot with all of the ovulation signs you had. I know it's going to be nervous days for you but the blood thinning medication already seems to be doing its thing.

I'm gonna let you be excited then. Lol. I'm gonna keep focused on weight loss and fitness until a baby shows up.

That's a good, positive way of dealing with these next few nervewracking weeks. I'll be happy to cheer you on out in internetland!!! No matter what happens in the end, getting a bfp so quickly is a good sign things are going in the right direction!

 

[Sophie2015]

I feel so negative saying this but my last pregnancy I got my bfp at 10 dpiui. And my 3rd pregnancy I got my bfp at 12 dpiui. So early BFPs don't mean much for me I guess. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Either way I'm okay.

 

[CaliDreaming]

It is totally normal and understandable to feel negative with all you've been through. That is what your internet buddies are for!

 

[AngelUK]

FX my dear, I can definitely see something there!

 

[Sophie2015]

99% certain it's an evap line and I'm ok with that. Because of my PE, Lovenox, etc pregnancy is now high risk for me. The idea of being pregnant with a 6th baby that probably wasn't healthy scares me. So I'm good. I will keep testing though because this heartburn and constipation are driving me nuts and getting worse. AF due Tuesday.

 

[Sophie2015]

Def evap line. All tests since then are stark white negative.

 

[AngelUK]

I am sorry

 

[CaliDreaming]

Ugh wondfos can produce some pretty convincing evap lines. Good thing you were not really wanting or expecting a bfp right now!

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi ladies. AF finally showed. I was getting worried as it took twice as long this time as it did with my other 4 losses. As long as my labs and saline ultrasound look good this week and next, we are scheduled to start ivf with pgd with my next cycle in November. I have mixed feelings. I've enjoyed having a somewhat normal life these last almost 8 weeks waiting for AF to return (you know, minus the PE event and hospitalization). I'm not sure I'm ready to start in with stressful tests and the fear of failure. This will be our final attempt. But we've met our drug out of pocket max plus our medical out of pocket max so makes more financial sense to start ASAP. Plus I just turned 44. Anyway. Just needed to vent I guess. Hope you all are well.

 

[AngelUK]

Honey the age thing doesn't matter that much! Seriously I got pregnant by IUI at that age and had my beautiful twin boys at 42. You are not too old, lots of women have babies at that age! I am crossing my fingers for you so so much and hope it works.

Eta: I tested yesterday and the test was faulty cause the control line didn't come up but I saw 2 faint lines in the other window. I knew it was faulty but last night I dreamed of a BFP and I tested again today. It is negative as I knew it would be. But I feel quite dashed down. I know it won't happen as I am too old and OH had those antibodies... but oh that infernal smidge of hope

 

[CaliDreaming]

Sophie, I hope everything goes off without a hitch on your IVF cycle. I also concur with Angel. 41 is not old!!!! Especially since I just turned 42 last month, lol. I think the problem is mainly psychological when we get in our 40's. There is virtual no difference between 39 and 40 or 41.

Angel, so sorry about the bfn. Those sting no matter what even when you know it's going to be a bfn. The faulty test is just adds insult to injury.

Anything is possible though so don't count yourself out. One of my B&B friends had to undergo IVF to conceive two years ago because her husband had antisperm antibodies, but just got a unexpected bfp a couple of days ago. You just never know! Maybe there is something behind that dream.

 

[Sophie2015]

Apparently I shouldn't post at 4am when I'm sleepy. I'm 44!! Not 41. Just corrected my post. Sigh. Bigggg difference. 44 vs 41. Anyway I'm forging ahead. Trying to believe there's a miracle egg in there somewhere.

Angel- I'm so sorry. That internal hope can be gut wrenching I know. But I believe miracles are still possible and you won't ever succeed if you quit. Although I have more faith in miracles when it's not my own faulty body. 😄 So I know it's easier said than believed.
FX'd we all get our last little miracles.

On a side note. It appears T15 (this last loss) most commonly comes from the sperm not the egg. Could it be I do indeed have a few good eggs left and we had bad luck this 5th time with a faulty sperm?!

 

[AngelUK]

Yes there is a difference in that age I know. But if I were your age Id be so much more confident than at mine!
That is interesting about the sperm, I had no idea! But either way I am FXing that there will be that one egg that will get you your SO deserved baby Btw in case there are more than one viable eggs, have you thought about how many you want to transfer? I can tell you that twins are SUCH hard work at first but oh gosh it is so so worth it! Dream big, sweetie

 

[TTC74]

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you Sophie. You've had a tough road of it. It's your time.

 

[CaliDreaming]

There was a research that came out recently that suggests that older women may be capable of regrowing eggs, challenging the notion that we are born with all the eggs we will ever have. I totally believe this is the case.

Sophie, is your hubby taking supplements too? Doctors do not spend enough time looking into male fertility. We spent a lot of time and money TTC only to find that we should have been focusing on the health of my hubby's swimmers instead of my eggs.

TTC74--How are you doing!!! You must be well into the second tri by now!

 

[TTC74]

I'm doing well. In my 20th week now. I have a "level 2" ultrasound at the end of the month, and I can't wait! It's been SO long since I've seen my little bean!

 

[Sophie2015]

Thanks ladies. Yes we'd only transfer 2. Our concern is because I seem to conceive even the poor quality embryos naturally my body will accept all the healthy ones we place in there. FX'd! I'm fine with twins. I'm a 14+ year NICU nurse. Multiples don't scare me at all. I'm currently working as a private night nurse for newborn twins as well.
Hubby is on supplements and has been for at least 2 years now. Hoping if the T15 came from him it was a fluke.
Congrats again TTC. I can't imagine ever being as far along as you but you give me hope.
At least I know my OV test and EWCM and OV pains 48 hours later were all correct. AF showed 15 days later. I ALWAYS have a 15 day luteal phase. Been that way since I was in high school. So at least that confirms my body is still trying.
I'll keep you posted. Hopefully things will go our way for once.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I SO hope you get twins Sophie!!!

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi all. Tomorrow is my SIS. This is my 3rd SIS in the last 1.5 years plus I had an HSG in May of this year. Really dreading it. The NP is doing it and they always take so long and get alarmed by all the fibroids on the OUTSIDE of my uterus that have yet to cause a problem. Wish my Dr was doing it. He sees things so much faster and isn't worried about my fibroids. Anyway I feel certain tomorrow will result in the NP saying I need yet another HSG before we can proceed with IVF. Although no issues have ever been found with my uterus. It's all so frustrating and I'm half tempted to cancel the IVF attempt altogether because I'm tired of SIS's and HSG's! Especially when no problems have ever been found. Thanks for listening. Feeling rather hopeless and angry today.

 

[AngelUK]

I hope it goes better than you fear! I will be thinking of you!