Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )

[Driving280]

Thanks, Ladies! I am 5 weeks today, so nothing is certain yet, but I am optimistic. It definitely was different from my other pregnancies. In my mid-late 30s, I literally got pregnant within the first month of trying (had one MC and my DS#1). It took us 11 months to conceive DS#2 when I was 40 but I also had two MC in that 11 months, so again, got pregnant very easily. Now, at 43, we had been trying since last May with absolutely no success. I thought that door was closed for me. But we had decided not to do IVF or anything else and would be fine with just our children... so I was totally surprised and excited to get the BFP.

So, Cali, I think lots of women can still have a baby in their early 40s, but I realize that it is a bit of a matter of luck and genetics... I didn't eat super healthy, exercised too little, enjoyed my wine, didn't take any supplements etc. I only used OPKs and BD on the right dates. Of course, at my age and with my history, a MC is a real danger but I am at least glad to be where I am today...

 

[Sophie2015]

Thanks Angel & Cali. I am in therapy but I don't think it's helping. I guess it'll just take time to accept I'll never be a mommy to a living child.
We decided to get the puppy after all. I'm glad we did. I've never seen my husband so smitten. Hope it's okay if I post her pic. We named her Charlotte Sue. She's almost 10 weeks.

 

[AngelUK]

Oh my goodness what a cutie! I want to give her a cuddle! She is soo cute! What breed is that?

 

[Sophie2015]

Angel- she's half Maltese half Shih tzu. Expected to be 6-8lbs. Isn't she precious. Let's hope I can housebreak her!!

 

[AngelUK]

She is utterly adorable! FX it won't take too long to train her!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Driving280, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! I know it must be nerve wracking times for you these days for sure!

I would so love to have a third child...I think for us it's not going to be just age that is the deciding factor, but many factors...age, will to try, finances, time, other competing interests.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Awww Sophie, Charlotte Sue is sooo cute. She looks like she has the most delightful personality! House training is...no fun, but you will get there.

You are doing all the right things and as well as can be expected under the circumstances. Grieving is a process and for grief of this magnitude it takes years, rather than days or months, to get to a place where it's not all consuming.

I always take note of people who are childless and happy with their lives. Due to the nature of infertility, we only see them after they've made it through their struggles and are thriving, but I always wonder about the process they had to go through to get there. It takes a lot of strength to not let something like this break you and I hate that you're in a position where you have to be that strong.

But I feel good for you in that I know life has wonderful things in store for you still. Maybe not the the things you wanted for yourself initially, but wonderful things nonetheless. Over the coming years I think you'll find yourself reclaiming your life bit by bit, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day and year by year and one day you'll realize that you're relishing the life that you have more than mourning that one that you wanted so desperately.

 

[Sophie2015]

Cali- I really hope so because honestly it feels like there's nothing left in life. Like all we're meant to do is go to work, come home, and wait to die. There's no purpose or joy. 😕

 

[CaliDreaming]

I know it seems like you're going to feel this way forever, but nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. This will be one of the hardest times in your life, but you will get through it and become much more resilient and empathetic person in the process--in addition to regaining your happiness. I think we'd all prefer to have an easier life and remain weaker and concern ourselves with more superficial matters but no one gets to choose the cards we're dealt in life.

It's so sad when you see someone going through life altering events because there's nothing any one can do or say to make it hurt any less or get you through it any faster. I can tell from your posts you are a very loving person and it's even worse when bad things happen to good people. It is just hard to accept how unfair life is at times.

It will take time but you will be happy again and find a new purpose even though it may not seem that way as you're struggling to get through the day.

I know I tend to ramble, but I mean well. Please know we're here for you whenever you need to chat.

 

[Lulua]

Just reading this thread a little. Sophie - so sorry to hear about your situation. I have had many sobbing nights where the thought of not having a child has gutted me completely. It's so hard and I wanted to let you know you are not alone. "When you are going threw hell just keep going"

We have had to make the decision to use donor sperm and it was so hard to come to grips with. Especially for my husband.

 

[emma1978]

I am 44 in October and feel like time is running out and I'm on the final stage of my ttc journey. I was hoping there might be some buddies around to chat with?

I have some hope left as we have been ttc for two years now and with my miscarriage that ended recently I saw a hb and it was the farthest we have gotten in 2 years so maybe the next one might be my sticky healthy bean!? I am taking coq10 to try to improve egg quality.

Thanks for reading x

Hi! I believe still time for you! I have found immense help in books: Inconceivable and Fertile Female and website fertileheart. Also a good book "it starts with the egg". hope this helps and many well wishes!

 

[AngelUK]

I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope Sending hugs to you all!

 

[Sophie2015]

I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope Sending hugs to you all!

This is why I keep ttc despite my RE saying all my eggs are bad. I still ovulate and have the same cycles I did in my 20s. Hoping a little egg will come along and prove everyone wrong.
But boy am I envious as well. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had the money to go to London.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Sophie, I sure hope one day you are one of those women who gets your miracle baby. Stories like that just go to show how random it all can be with no one being able to predict what will happen.

How is Charlotte? Is she potty trained yet?

 

[Sophie2015]

I can't believe I'm typing this. I've told no one. I think I might be pregnant. I definitely O'd and sex was well timed. Had great EWCM. I'm 10dpo today. I've gained 2.5 lbs literally overnight (this is common for me prior to a bfp), my breasts hurt (not common for me ever unless pregnant and sometimes not even then), and randomly yesterday I wanted to chop my DH's head off for no reason. He wasn't even home. Lol.
I've taken tests at 8 & 9 dpo. Both bfn. But I've never gotten a bfp before day 10. Fingers crossed I guess.

Cali- We took Charlotte back to the breeder after a few days. I cried for weeks over it but I was working so much that I didn't feel it was fair to her. But it broke my heart and felt like another loss.

 

[AngelUK]

Sophie! I am hoping so much and FXing so hard!!

 

[TTC74]

Fix Sophie!

 

[CaliDreaming]

OMG Sophie I have my fingers crossed so hard for you!!! Those symptoms sound really promising!!

So sorry about Charlotte but you definitely did the right thing. I had an older dog that I bought as a puppy when I was single, but then after I married and had kids had very little time for. I had to put him down a few months ago, but I really regret not finding a home for him that could have spent the time with him that he deserved.

 

[mitchnorm]

I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope Sending hugs to you all!

I went to Lister for a consultation but he said I actually had a better success rate for getting pregnant than their IVF statistics for my age!!!!! Hence not worth proceeding until they understood why I could carry them.....egg quality I presume. I had £2500 worth of tests done....fellana naturally pregnant again and miscarried at xmas. Haven't been back.

Did this lady have mc's previously?

I had 5 mc's with my own eggs naturally and nothing on any tests....tried fragmin, progesterone, aspirin and all sorts so unsure how ivf could help me I guess

Anyou news Sophie??? Xxxx

 

[AngelUK]

No she has not had miscarriages as such, a few failed IVF tries but that is it. I am sorry the Lister was not able to help you mitchnorm!