Am I being OTT?

[Missy89]

Ive just posted a picture of my fluff on my facebook to announce my pregnancy (After thinking I could only be a few weeks because of periods and negitive tests im actully 11-12 weeks ) And instead of people congratulating me LOTS of my friends asked what they were so I explained and I either had "are you friggen mad" "thats disugting" or "what but you can more than afford propa nappys why are you doing that" I explained it was better for baby and the earth and they can be mega cute, only one of my friends came round (she even wants to design a nappy for me) But the rest of them stuck by what they said so Ive deleted them from facebook, if they cant support my parenting decisions this early on then why should I give them the opputunity to see what else Ill be doing!

I told my OH and he calmed me down but said maybe I shouldnt have deleted them as I may want them around in the future

Am I being OTT?

Sorry for the long rant!

 

[eeyore007]

Interestingly - if you get the addiction, it can proove to be perhaps more expensive!!! (of course then you still have the resale value, so you can recoup some . . . . .) That's what I'm telling myself!!

Anyway, no, I don't think you're being over the top one bit. You do as you feel is right and that's all that matters. Yes you may need friends, but to be honest it's only the really really close ones who are prepared to help anyway. The not so close friends will come and coo when you have the bubba, and then go home. The really good ones will stay, help you, give you a break etc etc.
A friend cull everyso often isn't such a bad thing. Or at least getting rid of the ones that are perhaps missing the point. So long as you have a little group of good, reliable friends who you'd do anything for and they for you, then that's fine.
It's a really lovely way to announce your pregnancy. Subtle and sweet. They should see that too (and it sounds like you have a lovely friend who has done just that)!!!

 

[Missy89]

Thank-you I really needed to hear that, I feel bad about it but I don't want these people stressing me out all the way through and judging me either.

Think the one that upset me the most is one of my pregnant friends doesnt have a partner or job and when she got pregnant we all said we'd help out and she told us she only wanted second hand presants from us Im the only one out of about 10 girls who's helped Ive got things of some of the girls of here ive been going round the last of the car boots and serching gumtree etc for her and yet she said to me she didnt care how skint she got she would never do that to her kid! and said maybe we shouldnt be spending money on private healthcare if we cant afford to do things propally!

I don't understand why everyone presumes its about money :S I mean we're pretty well off but don't like throwing money away and the number one top reason we're doing it is beacuse theres no way Id want to wear a sposie on my bum all day so why should my baby!

And they ARE cute

 

[lynnikins]

ummm cloth bums are the proper way !! lol sposies are the lazy way a product of the " throwaway" society we live in and extremley wasteful to boot. tbh i feel really awful when i put the boys in sposies now my toddler gets upset over wearing sposies now and i can only think its a comfort thing as he would rather wear a bulky poorly fitted prefold +wrap combo than a disposable and ive given him the choice enough times to know its not a fad thing with him

 

[Missy89]

ummm cloth bums are the proper way !! lol sposies are the lazy way a product of the " throwaway" society we live in and extremley wasteful to boot. tbh i feel really awful when i put the boys in sposies now my toddler gets upset over wearing sposies now and i can only think its a comfort thing as he would rather wear a bulky poorly fitted prefold +wrap combo than a disposable and ive given him the choice enough times to know its not a fad thing with him

Thats the way I see it! It must be so nice hearing from your own son that he prefers it

 

[jms895]

Yep the addiction has proven rather expensive for me

I get the same comments and people think I am a nutter they just dont get it

Oh well, you can talk to us nutters in here and feed your addiction anytime

Congratulations chuck!

 

[eeyore007]

I keep telling OH it's cheaper in the long run. (trouble is this theory relies upon Frances being in nappies until about 10)!!! HA ha ha ha ha!!!
Same for us - the money isn't really in issue, it's the simple choice that we want nice fluffy fleecy stuff next to her bottom, not a load of chemicals. No brainer really!

Glad you're feeling better about things!

 

[twiggy56]

im sorry...some people are ignorant and uneducated as to what cloth nappies are all about...

when I get this response from people...I tell them about the chemicals in disposable nappies and how they arent the 'normal' option actually, I reel off the components of a disposable nappy, the synthetic polymers that give off harmful toxins, the damage to the environment and your pocket...and turn it round on THEM.

Seeing as your friends like to throw around the word 'disgusting' I would tell them that actually, its disposable nappies that are 'disgusting' and tbh quite the lazy convenient option...and that I wouldnt DREAM of putting MY baby in a disposable!!

Most people I have given this argument to have had nothing to come back with...

 

[Tiff]

Tbh, this is the first instance in many, many more to come where people are going to judge your parenting style. I had no idea until I had my LO how being pregnant/having a baby make you fair game for any comment that's out there. Most are nice, but a good share of them are rather caustic, snotty and intrusive.

I don't know if I would've deleted them per se, but then again I didn't get such a negative reaction when people found out I was using them. Most I got was how people made comments about how if I want to have my hands in poop - so be it.

 

[Eala]

Tbh, this is the first instance in many, many more to come where people are going to judge your parenting style. I had no idea until I had my LO how being pregnant/having a baby make you fair game for any comment that's out there. Most are nice, but a good share of them are rather caustic, snotty and intrusive.

Absolutely

Thing is, I don't even bother justifying myself anymore. I just reply with "I don't judge or criticise you for your parenting choices. I would appreciate it if you show the same respect towards me, and if you cannot be positive about my choices, then keep your judgemental opinions to yourself."

Sometimes if someone asks, or I think the situation warrants it, I'll explain a bit more as to why I felt it was the right choice for us. But 9 times out of 10, if they inclined to be that rude from the get-go, I don't see why I should waste my energy replying in-depth.

This works for any issue, whether it's how you feed them, wean them, what nappies they wear, etc etc.

 

[twiggy56]

nah, I cant help myself...

I have to tell them WHY they are ignorant...otherwise I feel thats just another one walking around out there...

but then I like telling people why cloth is sooo much better!

 

[Eala]

The problem with that approach is that some people go overboard. And in being so vociferous about why they do what they do, they actually become just as judgemental as the first person Not saying this applies to you, Twiggy, but I have seen it happen.

 

[jessabella]

Eala...I think you are right...the person ends up sounding just like the ignorant person who approached you...Its like telling one person why you have one faith based lifestyle and why its better everytime they say they believe something different. I think if the person is being ignorant the most mature thing to do is accept what they say and walk away from the situation..I dont mind correcting peopel where they are wrong but I will never make them feel like I am inferer to them for my choice..because you never know why a person does what they actaully do..not every lifestyle works for everyone. Also just because a person hasnt got tact or respect for you doesnt mean you need to sink to their level. A lot can be said when nothing is said at all!! Just my opinion though!!
I havent even started using nappies and someone said to me something about water use and the time Im taking away from my child..I basically said what I thought about it and said I beleive this is the best choice for me and my lifestyle..and that was that.
Their response was limited becaues I didnt argue with them about it.

 

[twiggy56]

surely defence in the face of ignorance isnt ignorance?

Im sorry but if i was told what I was doing was 'disgusting' just because I use a cloth nappy...I wouldnt be standing there saying nothing!!

and im sure if you hear it time and time again for 8 months, you would feel the need...to the OP. No its not ridiculous...and I would have done the same thing

 

[jessabella]

surely defence in the face of ignorance isnt ignorance?

Im sorry but if i was told what I was doing was 'disgusting' just because I use a cloth nappy...I wouldnt be standing there saying nothing!!

and im sure if you hear it time and time again for 8 months, you would feel the need...to the OP. No its not ridiculous...and I would have done the same thing

You are definanlty right about that...if someone was jumping down my case about something..Im not saying I would be all nice and rosy about it..Im just saying I will try my best to not be rude to them..but if they are telling me how disgusting I am then I would have to just tell them to bugger off and walk off as I would have other words I really want to say
I think its fair to stand up for what we belive and for ourselves I just dont think its fair when a person tries to force the reason why they do something down other persons throat! If that makes sense!

 

[twiggy56]

Im not saying I go upto people and tell them they are wrong and ram it down their throat?

The OP was approached by someone else and told HER choice was 'disgusting'...the initial confrontation had been made? Its not a case of picking someone innocently discussing parenting choices and then pushing it on them...its in defence. Which IMO is warranted if the other party chose such a strong word in the first place.

If I saw someone upload a pic of a disposable nappy I wouldn't tell them its 'disgusting'?! Why would it be ok the other way around?

Im not going to say anything more, this is my opinion. And one that has been established through months and months of full-time cloth wearing and people giving their 2 cents...so maybe im a bit more bitter about it...

 

[purpledahlia]

Laura, I agree. I'd be doing the same if someone was passing judgement on my parenting choices be it cloth, weaning, bedtime routine, anything. Why is it ok for some people to citizise but not to defend yourself? Think theres a massive difference between ramming an opinion down someones throught and simply defending yourself when openly critizised!

sorry i cant seem to spell critizised tonight! haha!

OP - I am'nt sure i would of deleted them... yet.. But i understand how it feels to have some unsupportive friends when it comes to cloth!

 

[twiggy56]

thanks claire ...you worded that alot better than I did

Ramming it down someones throat with no provocation would be wrong yes, however, in defence, I dont think its at all unreasonable to argue your side!

 

[gina8177]

I also addicted, hehe, I think I need to have another baby to justify my diaper collection.

I don't think you over reacted. The first thing on their mind should be congratulating you on your pregnancy and the last thing on their mind should be how you choose to diaper. A true friend would simply be happy for you right now.

Congratulations!

 

[Kate&Lucas]

That's horrible!! Fancy having a go at you when they're meant to be congratulating you on your pregnancy. Miserable witches, what business of theirs is it what you wrap your baby's bum with
I'd have deleted them too!

Congrats