hellojello25
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Okay, so this is a MIL thing, kinda. She's not my MIL yet, but I am pregnant with my boyfriend's child and I don't want her to babysit my child...ever. And now I'll tell you why.
BF has a sister and BIL that have two children, a girl who is 4 and a boy who just turned 1. My problems with how MIL babysits start when the girl was 2. MIL overfeeds her constantly, to the point where the poor girl will throw up, and not only that, but she feeds her loads of junk. And she used to babysit her every day, so the kid was eating junk food all day long. And when I say all day, I mean all day. I walked out of BF's room to go to work around 7 in the morning and the girl was sitting there with a Tupperware container full of chocolate chips, eating them by the handful. MIL had given them to her to eat while she was making brownies. And it still continues to this day. MIL just did the same thing last week to the poor girl.
My next problem with her is the fact that now she will just tell the niece, oh, don't tell your parents that I gave you this, and she actually means it. She seriously tries to get the girl to lie to her parents so MIL won't get in trouble. Not that it works, because the niece will spill the beans anyways, but I'm am SO not okay with that.
Up until this past Saturday, those were the only two things I had a problem with when it came to childcare. BF had planned to talk to her about them, and if she changed those things, we would consider letting her babysit, but after I heard what I did this past weekend, no way!
So, now that we're pregnant, we wanted to get a better scope of what she was doing, so on Saturday, we went to BF's sister's house to talk with them about it. There are a bunch of things we never heard about! Apparently in the middle of August (so a month ago) MIL had both the kids all day and didn't give them any food or anything to drink! The boy wasn't even 1 yet! And then, just last week, BIL said he went to go pick up the girl and saw that there was chocolate all over her face. Apparently she had had a Dilly bar from Dairy Queen, which wouldn't be horrible until you take into the account that she had literally just gotten over the stomach bug. And that's not even the worst thing: MIL had been off her depression/anxiety medication for 6 days! Now, there are a couple reasons why this is an immediate red flag in my mind: 1: she's trying to get disability for this (don't even get me started on the fact that she can chase a 1 and 4 year old around all day but apparently can't get a job), and 2: (this is heavy stuff, so if you have a trigger, you probably shouldn't read it) my best friend's aunt went off her depression/anxiety medication, killed her daughter, and then hung herself.
So hopefully you can understand why this woman will never babysit my child. BF still thinks she has a chance to turn it around and is going to talk to her about this stuff to see if she can change, but unless I see a huge change, I can't let her around my kid unsupervised.
Am I being too harsh on the woman? I'm not saying she can't see our child, I am just not willing to let her babysit. Please leave me some advice, because this is stressing me out.
BF has a sister and BIL that have two children, a girl who is 4 and a boy who just turned 1. My problems with how MIL babysits start when the girl was 2. MIL overfeeds her constantly, to the point where the poor girl will throw up, and not only that, but she feeds her loads of junk. And she used to babysit her every day, so the kid was eating junk food all day long. And when I say all day, I mean all day. I walked out of BF's room to go to work around 7 in the morning and the girl was sitting there with a Tupperware container full of chocolate chips, eating them by the handful. MIL had given them to her to eat while she was making brownies. And it still continues to this day. MIL just did the same thing last week to the poor girl.
My next problem with her is the fact that now she will just tell the niece, oh, don't tell your parents that I gave you this, and she actually means it. She seriously tries to get the girl to lie to her parents so MIL won't get in trouble. Not that it works, because the niece will spill the beans anyways, but I'm am SO not okay with that.
Up until this past Saturday, those were the only two things I had a problem with when it came to childcare. BF had planned to talk to her about them, and if she changed those things, we would consider letting her babysit, but after I heard what I did this past weekend, no way!
So, now that we're pregnant, we wanted to get a better scope of what she was doing, so on Saturday, we went to BF's sister's house to talk with them about it. There are a bunch of things we never heard about! Apparently in the middle of August (so a month ago) MIL had both the kids all day and didn't give them any food or anything to drink! The boy wasn't even 1 yet! And then, just last week, BIL said he went to go pick up the girl and saw that there was chocolate all over her face. Apparently she had had a Dilly bar from Dairy Queen, which wouldn't be horrible until you take into the account that she had literally just gotten over the stomach bug. And that's not even the worst thing: MIL had been off her depression/anxiety medication for 6 days! Now, there are a couple reasons why this is an immediate red flag in my mind: 1: she's trying to get disability for this (don't even get me started on the fact that she can chase a 1 and 4 year old around all day but apparently can't get a job), and 2: (this is heavy stuff, so if you have a trigger, you probably shouldn't read it) my best friend's aunt went off her depression/anxiety medication, killed her daughter, and then hung herself.
So hopefully you can understand why this woman will never babysit my child. BF still thinks she has a chance to turn it around and is going to talk to her about this stuff to see if she can change, but unless I see a huge change, I can't let her around my kid unsupervised.
Am I being too harsh on the woman? I'm not saying she can't see our child, I am just not willing to let her babysit. Please leave me some advice, because this is stressing me out.