Am I just being silly?

[caz81]

Well i've spoke to his friend, we're all sitting him and his new girlfriend down tonight to basically tell them the truth. He's chosing drugs and her over the people who mean the most. I've had enough of the lies, the hurt and treating me like a complete tosser!.
Girls i'm just so scared,.. i've got to go and get tested for STI's again and see if i come on my AF! I'm so scared to go through everything by myself from now on.

please dont do that....just walk away with your head held high

 

[teeniestep]

Well i've spoke to his friend, we're all sitting him and his new girlfriend down tonight to basically tell them the truth. He's chosing drugs and her over the people who mean the most. I've had enough of the lies, the hurt and treating me like a complete tosser!.
Girls i'm just so scared,.. i've got to go and get tested for STI's again and see if i come on my AF! I'm so scared to go through everything by myself from now on.

please dont do that....just walk away with your head held high

This is something i need to do, i need to know the truth!
I can't walk away and not tell him that it's definately over and i'm never seeing him again.
I'm packing his stuff as we speak,

 

[aliss]

He knows. He doesn't care.

Stop trying to prove that *you* are worthy enough for someone to turn their life around for you. I think it all comes down to this - you refuse to accept that someone doesn't care enough about you to change their life for you.

 

[mightyspu]

So despite saying "we're just friends", it's only now that you are packing his stuff? Am glad that at least his friend will be there too, he/she will hopefully give you support.

Why do you need to be tested for STI's again? is that just to check you are in the all clear? And when is your period due?

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Hun I don't mean to sound mean but I think you're mad and I would probably put money on it that sitting him and his new girlfriend is going to cause nothing but hassle and arguements and there you'll be, at square one upset again. If you'd been with him for years and years and the relationship had once been perfect with romance and wonderful moments and you'd made a life together, then maybe spend some time trying to get through to him, but he has treated you like shit throughout a 6 month period. I think you should walk away, delete his number, cut all ties and just get on with your life without him and anything to do with him.

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

He knows. He doesn't care.

Stop trying to prove that *you* are worthy enough for someone to turn their life around for you. I think it all comes down to this - you refuse to accept that someone doesn't care enough about you to change their life for you.

Sorry for the double posting but I agree with this 100%

 

[Armywife]

I honestly can not believe this is still going on. Teenie, he is making a fool out of you and every time you 'sit him down' or 'have a long talk' you are allowing this to happen. Every time you make an excuse for him you give him permission to hurt you all over again. He does not love you, he doesn't even like you. If he did he wouldn't do these things.

Right now you are kidding yourself, whether you choose to believe it or not. The ladies on here have been so supprotive and offered you some of the best advice there is and you are choosing to ignore it.

He does not need to be told he is choosing drugs and this girl over everything else - he knows! He is making a conscious decision to do so! You don't need to tell him he will never see you again - just don't see him! It will not make the blindest difference. The best you will get is him crying (which will not be genuine) and telling you he will change (which he won't). He is taking the piss out of you good and proper sweetheart and you are allowing that to happen therefore you have to prepare yourself for the pain of one day realising that this boy has been playing you and laughing behind your back about it.

The day will come when this has to stop, for your sake i hope you get a grip sooner rather than later. I hate to sound patronising but when you get a bit older and find a real man who you don't need to run around after and make 'plans' to get back, a man who treats you with respect and looks after you, you will realise just how stupid and blind you are being right now.

WALK AWAY

 

[mightyspu]

^^well said

 

[Lianne1986]

yes well said...

in the 1st six months of being with my DH, i cried with happiness not because he treated me bad!

we also have been through so much together & beacuse of the way i was treated by my ex i am a much stronger person now & my DH knows everything & wudnt dream of hurting me emotionally or physically,
thats what LOVE is, also love means respect & obviously ur ex doesnt respect u for not using a condom even tho he knew he could pass on STI'S,

Teenie i think u really should open ur eyes now & see him for what hge really is..u owe this "boy" nothing..not even the time of day!!

 

[ooSweetPea]

I honestly can not believe this is still going on. Teenie, he is making a fool out of you and every time you 'sit him down' or 'have a long talk' you are allowing this to happen. Every time you make an excuse for him you give him permission to hurt you all over again. He does not love you, he doesn't even like you. If he did he wouldn't do these things.

Right now you are kidding yourself, whether you choose to believe it or not. The ladies on here have been so supprotive and offered you some of the best advice there is and you are choosing to ignore it.

He does not need to be told he is choosing drugs and this girl over everything else - he knows! He is making a concious decision to do so! You don't need to tell him he will never see you again - just don't see him! It will not make the blindest difference. The best you will get is him crying (which will not be genuine) and telling you he will change (which he won't) he is taking the piss out of you good and proper sweetheart and you are allowing that to happen therefore you have to prepare yourself for the pain of one day realising that this boy has been playing you and laughing behind your back about it.

The day will come when this has to stop, for your sake i hope you get a grip sooner rather than later. I hate to sound patronising but when you get a bit older and find a real man who you don't need to run around after and make 'plans' to get back, a man who treats you with respect and looks after you, you will realise just how stupid and blind you are being right now.

WALK AWAY

I have just read back through all these posts and could not agree more with ^this one.^ I literally cannot believe that you keep going back to him after all that he had put you through.

I honestly think that the only reason for this "sit-down" is for you to see if he will go back to you, plain and simple. I know it hurts. I know you still love him. I know that you know in the back of your mind that you'll never get over him. By no means am I saying to you that you will get over him eventually... there will always be a little piece of your heart that stays reserved especially for him, because he was your first love. I think a lot of women on here share my mindset on that. BUT! Just because he has that little piece of your heart does not mean that you should give him the rest of it, and not go forward with the rest of your life.

I WAIT for you to be able to look back on all this crazy business when you have found a man that treats you the way a woman should be treated. I have a feeling it will literally be like night and day for you, and after going through what you have been with him, you freakin' deserve it.

I agree, WALK AWAY. Stop letting yourself continuously get sucked back into this hellhole of a situation. Like I said, you deserve better than that.

 

[teeniestep]

Well I went down after work, his GIRLFRIEND answered the door, her face was hilarious! She was really shocked! I asked him where the hell he had been bla bla bla, on my way out i went to his new girlfriend 'Get him to tell you the truth' she went off her rocker.
Then all the arguments happened because he brought peoples names into it.
Cut a long story short, i left him crying
And I SPLIT UP WITH HIM!
I'm so happy,

 

[Amygdala]

Well I hope for you that this is the end of this story now and that next time you'll pick a man who will treat you with respect.

 

[Lilly12]

Umm, you split up with him??
Weren't you just "mates" a few days ago??

I don't know how old you are but you sound very young, no disrespect. Please learn from this situation and don't let anyone take advantage of you anymore.
I do hope you realize what's been happening and that you're worth more than being treated poorly.

 

[teeniestep]

Umm, you split up with him??
Weren't you just "mates" a few days ago??

I don't know how old you are but you sound very young, no disrespect. Please learn from this situation and don't let anyone take advantage of you anymore.
I do hope you realize what's been happening and that you're worth more than being treated poorly.

I sound young? Well everyone says i actually acter older than 18 who knows me
When I mean i split up with him, i mean that I told him that i never want to see or speak to him again. Before last night there was a chance we were getting back together, but now there is no chance. Not after all his threats and chosing someone who doesn't even deserve him over his friends.

 

[mightyspu]

Regardless of how old or young you sound, I am pleased you did it. You got your say in and ended it. I hope you have the strength to move on and stay true to your word. Well done!

 

[Lianne1986]

Umm, you split up with him??
Weren't you just "mates" a few days ago??

I don't know how old you are but you sound very young, no disrespect. Please learn from this situation and don't let anyone take advantage of you anymore.
I do hope you realize what's been happening and that you're worth more than being treated poorly.

i agree with this post!!
teenie u are confusing me let alone urself,

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Umm, you split up with him??
Weren't you just "mates" a few days ago??

I don't know how old you are but you sound very young, no disrespect. Please learn from this situation and don't let anyone take advantage of you anymore.
I do hope you realize what's been happening and that you're worth more than being treated poorly.

I also agree with this.

Hope it's the end of all of it now and you can just get on with your life.

 

[Cornbread]

I honestly can not believe this is still going on. Teenie, he is making a fool out of you and every time you 'sit him down' or 'have a long talk' you are allowing this to happen. Every time you make an excuse for him you give him permission to hurt you all over again. He does not love you, he doesn't even like you. If he did he wouldn't do these things.

Right now you are kidding yourself, whether you choose to believe it or not. The ladies on here have been so supprotive and offered you some of the best advice there is and you are choosing to ignore it.

He does not need to be told he is choosing drugs and this girl over everything else - he knows! He is making a conscious decision to do so! You don't need to tell him he will never see you again - just don't see him! It will not make the blindest difference. The best you will get is him crying (which will not be genuine) and telling you he will change (which he won't). He is taking the piss out of you good and proper sweetheart and you are allowing that to happen therefore you have to prepare yourself for the pain of one day realising that this boy has been playing you and laughing behind your back about it.

The day will come when this has to stop, for your sake i hope you get a grip sooner rather than later. I hate to sound patronising but when you get a bit older and find a real man who you don't need to run around after and make 'plans' to get back, a man who treats you with respect and looks after you, you will realise just how stupid and blind you are being right now.

WALK AWAY

YESYESYES!!! He is not choosing drugs and the other girl over "everything that means the most to him" if you are throwing yourself in tere, because I think it's pretty obvious to everyone but you that you mean nothing to him.

Well I hope for you that this is the end of this story now and that next time you'll pick a man who will treat you with respect.

I'm not holding my breath.

Umm, you split up with him??
Weren't you just "mates" a few days ago??

I don't know how old you are but you sound very young, no disrespect. Please learn from this situation and don't let anyone take advantage of you anymore.
I do hope you realize what's been happening and that you're worth more than being treated poorly.

I sound young? Well everyone says i actually acter older than 18 who knows me
When I mean i split up with him, i mean that I told him that i never want to see or speak to him again. Before last night there was a chance we were getting back together, but now there is no chance. Not after all his threats and chosing someone who doesn't even deserve him over his friends.

I'm sorry but in this situation, you're acting like... oh... 15 or so? You're behaving like a schoolgirl who is lovesick and can't accept the fact that her "relationship" is over. Running around chasing him like you have been is only making you look like a fool and makiing it clear to him that you can be treated like absolute crap, it makes it appear to him that you really don't have any standards because if you did, you'd be done with him and not chasing someone is not worthy of anyone's affections right now. You continue to set yourself up for failure time and again. Do you know how it makes you look to go to his place and try to convince him to leave his girlfriend for his ex? It makes you look like a clingy, needy, immature, jealous girl who can't stand to let go of her ex and has no self-respect. You are not setting yourself up for success with future relationships or with friends. Heck, here in the States, what you've been doing would possibly be grounds for a threat of a restraining order or harassment charges.

Until you stop behaving like this and truly LET HIM GO and move on, you're going to continue getting hurt. He does not deserve you or your attempts to "save him". You don't owe him anything. Let him go. Let him make his mistakes and quit worrying about him. Worry about YOURSELF. Do what you need to to fix YOU. Don't even THINK about dating again until you do because it would be unfair to the guy you're dating. Start taking the advice you've been given here by some very wise women, including some who have BTDT. Stop repeating history and learn from it.

It's time to let go. Say your goodbyes (so to speak, do NOT contact him again, in fact I think you need to block any means of communication he has with you so that he can't get in your head again) and move on. Quit stalking him and his girlfriend. Let them make their screwups. You're not going to keep them from it and in the process you just keep yourself open for more unnecessary heartache. It is obvious that he doesn't care about you and he doesn't want you and that you quite possibly never really meant anything to him so WHY keep going back to him? You have a choice to make and I really hope you'll make the right one and take care of yourself insttead of continuing to abuse yourself and let him abuse you and your kind heart.

 

[mightyspu]

^^ couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Lianne1986]

Very very very well said Cornbread!!!