Annoyed with OHs drinking ?

[Kaedin]

He does drinking through the week, usually it's cans of beer that he buys, but this week he "treated" himself to a litre of rum..

His mother gets involved in everything. He is a mummys boy - and it annoys me.

I've not had a conversation with him yet, cos I would like to try and calm down, otherwise ill just get angry and start crying. He'll then call me hormonal and it wont change anything.

One thing that really annoyed me, I spent all day painting babys room alone, as he had started doing the edging last week, but gave up leaving it unfinished. So I done it all today and it looks great! He asked when im next off work and said "are you going to do the second coat" when im next off! My whole body is aching from painting the whole room and he's bloody asking when I'M doing the second coat. I could have thrown a tub of paint at his face!

 

[emicakess]

You poor thing :/ I don't really want to tell you that your OH sounds like an ass... but he sounds like an ass!!! Sorry you're going through this! No women deserves to be treated like that especially not a mom to be or a mom! Sorry hun

 

[redlemonade]

I don't think any of us would have blamed you if you HAD thrown the tub of paint in his face.

 

[sbl]

There is no 2 ways about it this man is acting like an ass.
Is he having cold feet?

 

[Kaedin]

There is no 2 ways about it this man is acting like an ass.
Is he having cold feet?

I don't know...he says he's excited about having a baby. But he never talks about baby unless I bring it up. And he doesn't want to buy anything, he is happy to leave it to all our family to buy things (to be fair alot of the bigger things we are getting from family, my mum and dad are paying for pram (and also giving us our family moses basket which alot of the family have used when babies) and his granny is buying the furniture, and his step-mum has offered to buy something for baby, we are being given a travel cot)

Tbh, I doubt he even knows how far along I am!

The other week I said to him to speak to baby, as baby starts kicking back when I speak to him/her so I thought it would be nice for baby to hear daddy talking. He looked at me like I was joking...

 

[sbl]

Some men do get like that when they are expecting their first. I suppose he might be trying to get all his "youth" out now before the baby arrives but really and truly you need support and his drinking and acting like a silly teenager isn't helping you.
It's great that you are getting so much help from family but maybe if you did go out shopping for baby stuff together it might make him realise he's about to be a dad.
Does he go to scan's and appointments with you?

 

[Kaedin]

It's mad as he is 26! Even without a baby on the way he should not be acting like a moron!

Well I'm painting babys room, so maybe that will make him realise baby is coming and make him help me out! I don't fancy doing the whole thing myself but so far it seems like I will have to!

He's been to my scans but no other appointments. I mentioned to him about antenatal appointments and that my midwife said it's good if your partner comes along with you, and he said that he's working. I didn't even tell him the dates...even if he is working he could use some holidays from work to be there, if not ask the boys he works with for some times off on those dates (his work is not strict at all - so I know fine well he can be there if he made an effort...)

 

[Kaedin]

he text me asking to make him dinner, I replied asking if he would take out the rubbish and get rid of our dining table he text back saying "We'll see"

So I said "i'll see" if I can make his food and he replied with "dont be a cow all your life"...

If I wasn't pregnant I would leave his rude ass and be a happily single lady!

 

[Kaedin]

He's been home from work 2 minutes and already poured himself a rum and coke. More fool him, I've poured half of the bottle out and topped it up with water.

Asked him to take out the rubbish, he said "seeing as you said please", yet hasn't bothered to take it out. Asked him if he was going to, he asked if there was any rubbish...well duh!! Why else would I ask? Doubt he will do it...

I made him his dinner like he asked so he bloody better take out the rubbish like I asked. It's not even as if it's a favour for me (like making his dinner is a favour to him) its our household rubbish not all mine...maybe more mine in the respect that I have to pick all his rubbish that he leaves on the floor and actually put in the bin.

Feels good to actually rant about how much of an arsehole he is, rather than keeping inside to myself.

 

[~Brandy~]

I would happily leave even if I was pregnant... what help is he now anyway? He isn't there for you emotionally and apparently physically he is just taking up space.

Sorry just my opinion but sounds emotionally and verbally abusive to me. No way in hell I would let my baby be in a house with a man like that. Just the vibes alone would be upsetting to a child.

 

[emicakess]

I totally agree with brandy. If you were going leave him anyway then no better reason leave him now! Sorry to say.. I don't usually like to have this strong of opinions for other peoples lives but he is SO mean to you! Its like he thinks you are a given and he can treat you any way he wants. Idk I totally agree with brandy.This is not healthy for you or baby.

 

[~Brandy~]

I totally agree with brandy. If you were going leave him anyway then no better reason leave him now! Sorry to say.. I don't usually like to have this strong of opinions for other peoples lives but he is SO mean to you! Its like he thinks you are a given and he can treat you any way he wants. Idk I totally agree with brandy.This is not healthy for you or baby.

I dont like to say things like that to others either.. But if I picture myself in that situation and someone acting like that around me thats the action I would take. My initial instinct is for my baby born or unborn to protect them from hearing, seeing, feeling, the effect of the situation... Not to mention your emotional welfare.

 

[Kaedin]

I asked him again to take out the rubbish, he said "its too cold". He had asked where his shoes where, I told him in the cupboard, i then walked into the bedroom and he was in the wardrobe and couldnt find them, I said yeh they are in the cupboard, not the wardrobe and he said "i make shit up to make up for my short comings" My short comings putting away his shoes that he leaves all over the house!!

I told him to straighten his head out and get his priorities straight. He said I was in a grump, I told him to just go away (as I was getting pissed off) and he said "likewise". To be honest ladies, he isn't making it very difficult for me to leave him now. He is even letting me to go, why should I even stay. I'm now sitting upset and crying, whilst he is in other room eating his dinner (that I put on for him without so much as a thank you) whilst drinking his beer as he has finished the bottle of rum.

Must say he has washed the paint brush and the roller that I used today painting babys room, thats about the only thing he has done!

I really do deserve better than this, and if he can treat me this awfully when im pregnant, what is he going to be like once baby is here ? Even more useless ??

 

[Kaedin]

I totally agree with brandy. If you were going leave him anyway then no better reason leave him now! Sorry to say.. I don't usually like to have this strong of opinions for other peoples lives but he is SO mean to you! Its like he thinks you are a given and he can treat you any way he wants. Idk I totally agree with brandy.This is not healthy for you or baby.

I dont like to say things like that to others either.. But if I picture myself in that situation and someone acting like that around me thats the action I would take. My initial instinct is for my baby born or unborn to protect them from hearing, seeing, feeling, the effect of the situation... Not to mention your emotional welfare.

It's hard because I do want baby to have daddy around, and he isn't always such an arsehole...but he is getting worse and treats me like rubbish, as if I don't deserve to be spoken to with respect.

But I don't want baby to be feeling my stress and upset

 

[HBGirl]

Sweetheart, you are carrying his child. You deserve to be treated like the precious gem you are. He is not making you feel special at your most special time. My DH was inconsiderate in the beginning. It was no where near as bad as what you are going through and thankfully he saw sense. I say kick him out and let him stay with mummy dearest.

 

[cait]

Sorry you're going through this. He sounds very immature. Maybe you could go and stay with a friend or relative for a night or two to give him a wake up call? He might realise he is taking you for granted and see what he would be missing if he lost you (and baby).

If you can get him to have a mature conversation about all this I think you should insist that he comes to antenatal classes with you as it can be a real eye opener for men. Maybe he will realise what a responsibility it is to bring a child into the world and how he will need to change his lifestyle. But I think he needs to respect you a lot more before baby even gets here.

 

[Eternal]

My husband didn't really bond with our first in womb lol, I don't think he could get his head Around it and I know he was scared, once baby was born he was amazing and since with all our others.

However your partner sounds stocking and personably I would leave. I would not out up with that amount of selfish behaviour. He clearly has issues but if he isn't willing to admit a problem you can't help him, you should be his priority.

 

[Kaedin]

I appreciate all your advice

I thought I was getting through to him today, but he told me before picking me up from work he had been to the pub for 2 pints with boys from work. Since being home he has drank 3 cans.

He told him I need him to cut down, and he said well we used to drink. But he doesn't seem to understand my point that we are having a baby, we both need to change different things in our lives. He needs to cute down. He just says im being selfish becos I can't drink. I told him, I could drink if I wanted to but I'm chosing not to becos I don't want to when pregnant. I asked him when he is going to help out more around the house and he just said he will "get round to it"...he is just so lazy. If I left things up to him nothing would be done around the house, babys room would not be painted.

 

[Kaedin]

And I did ask him if he knew how far along I was (despite a weekly post being posted on my facebook page) he guessed, 29 weeks, 28 weeks and 27 weeks.

I said "I can't believe" that he didnt know how far along I was, his response "really" as even he knows I should know he is useless!

 

[Kaedin]

Told him I wasn't washing his dinner dishes from last night (that I put on for him) and walked into kitchen to see he had piled all tonights dishes on top of it.

I emptied sink, proceeded to do tonight dishes and left his sitting there. Heres betting they will stay there until I give up and do it