~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[BunnyFace]

Hi Sarah, love your avatar picture xx

 

[louandivy]

Only just found this thread! I thought i'd introduce myself, but first to everyone!
I've suffered from disordered eating since i was 8 (im 20 now :wacko)
During my pregnancy was the only time i felt "in control" (well sort of, iykwim) i had to eat for my baby and i did and i put on weight and i didnt care. Which is the first time in my life and it was a great feeling. Im breastfeeding my LO and have lost alot of weight doing it and im bloody terrified im going to start "liking" losing the weight and end up going back to a place i dont want to be. Im even worried about posting this as i feel by doing so im letting it get back into my head
But anyway, hello to you all!

Totally know how you feel. I am so scared about enjoying losing weight because although I am so determined to stay well for the sake of my LO, a part of me 'misses' the anorexia, because it was my crutch when things went wrong, I don't know how else to cope when I'm sad, its the only way I know how to make myself feel better. Everything has run quite smoothly since I got pregnant so I don't know how I'm going to react when something inevitably goes wrong Have you been getting help hun?

 

[A3my]

 

[louandivy]

Oh, I have been though binging and purging stages before, and in all my years of not eating the periods when I B/P were the most depressing and painful Do you want to talk hun?

 

[9babiesgone]

I have been anorexic since I was 10 . Iam now 24. Feel like I will never get over this. Does anyone find it hard to gain weight without feeling like killing themselves? Am so sick of feelin so down about my weight. I know it Isn't about the weight but why does it feel like it.

 

[BunnyFace]

Only just found this thread! I thought i'd introduce myself, but first to everyone!
I've suffered from disordered eating since i was 8 (im 20 now :wacko)
During my pregnancy was the only time i felt "in control" (well sort of, iykwim) i had to eat for my baby and i did and i put on weight and i didnt care. Which is the first time in my life and it was a great feeling. Im breastfeeding my LO and have lost alot of weight doing it and im bloody terrified im going to start "liking" losing the weight and end up going back to a place i dont want to be. Im even worried about posting this as i feel by doing so im letting it get back into my head
But anyway, hello to you all!

Totally know how you feel. I am so scared about enjoying losing weight because although I am so determined to stay well for the sake of my LO, a part of me 'misses' the anorexia, because it was my crutch when things went wrong, I don't know how else to cope when I'm sad, its the only way I know how to make myself feel better. Everything has run quite smoothly since I got pregnant so I don't know how I'm going to react when something inevitably goes wrong Have you been getting help hun?

I think i could have just typed what you said I used to flit between eating disorders and self harming but since finding out i was pregnant i stopped the self harming cold turkey and still havent gone back to it to this day which im pleased about although it is still a struggle . I wish i was pregnant again because to me, when i was pregnant, my pregnancy was in control not my stupid brain and it was difficult but i managed it and was a healthy weight all through my pregnancy and there were some day i felt like shit because i was so fat but the fact i had my baby inside me and i was going to get fat whether i liked it or not, kept me sane. Im breastfeeding now so it's important that i eat to produce milk and i am but it annoys me that im losing weight because i dont want to go back to how i was, i keep saying i hate losing the weight and i want to be fat again but i dont mean it and i hate that. The stupid crap has come back and is there in the back of my head and i feel dirty because of it. After posting here i feel like my own mind is laughing at me because im weak and am letting all the bad stuff back in iykwim? I feel like a crap Mum because i have stupid ways of eating food still and i dont want Ellie to copy me. I havent been getting help, to me that means ive let it win. I've not said how i feel to anyone except on here.

I completely relate to both of you, I posted before but got scared and wiped it. I've recently lost my job and whereas I have always been bulimic we really cant afford for me to binge so I stopped eating and my milk has gone I've tried really hard today but I turn to drink when I cant binge and that wont help.. i may delete this....scared of what people will think

No one here is going to think badly of you hun, we're all in the same boat. Are you getting help sweetie?

 

[BunnyFace]

I have been anorexic since I was 10 . Iam now 24. Feel like I will never get over this. Does anyone find it hard to gain weight without feeling like killing themselves? Am so sick of feelin so down about my weight. I know it Isn't about the weight but why does it feel like it.

I feel exactly the same hun. I hate how once it's got into your head it always there, lurking. It makes me feel dirty now.
I want to be pregnant again, it was the first time i ever cared about myself. I had to care about myself because my baby was inside me and it was the best feeling.

 

[9babiesgone]

I have been anorexic since I was 10 . Iam now 24. Feel like I will never get over this. Does anyone find it hard to gain weight without feeling like killing themselves? Am so sick of feelin so down about my weight. I know it Isn't about the weight but why does it feel like it.

I feel exactly the same hun. I hate how once it's got into your head it always there, lurking. It makes me feel dirty now.
I want to be pregnant again, it was the first time i ever cared about myself. I had to care about myself because my baby was inside me and it was the best feeling.

Yeah I know what you mean I did a lot better when I was pregnant. But I don't know how to get rid of this for good. I hope u can find recovery for yourself

 

[A3my]

Only just found this thread! I thought i'd introduce myself, but first to everyone!
I've suffered from disordered eating since i was 8 (im 20 now :wacko)
During my pregnancy was the only time i felt "in control" (well sort of, iykwim) i had to eat for my baby and i did and i put on weight and i didnt care. Which is the first time in my life and it was a great feeling. Im breastfeeding my LO and have lost alot of weight doing it and im bloody terrified im going to start "liking" losing the weight and end up going back to a place i dont want to be. Im even worried about posting this as i feel by doing so im letting it get back into my head
But anyway, hello to you all!

Totally know how you feel. I am so scared about enjoying losing weight because although I am so determined to stay well for the sake of my LO, a part of me 'misses' the anorexia, because it was my crutch when things went wrong, I don't know how else to cope when I'm sad, its the only way I know how to make myself feel better. Everything has run quite smoothly since I got pregnant so I don't know how I'm going to react when something inevitably goes wrong Have you been getting help hun?

I think i could have just typed what you said I used to flit between eating disorders and self harming but since finding out i was pregnant i stopped the self harming cold turkey and still havent gone back to it to this day which im pleased about although it is still a struggle . I wish i was pregnant again because to me, when i was pregnant, my pregnancy was in control not my stupid brain and it was difficult but i managed it and was a healthy weight all through my pregnancy and there were some day i felt like shit because i was so fat but the fact i had my baby inside me and i was going to get fat whether i liked it or not, kept me sane. Im breastfeeding now so it's important that i eat to produce milk and i am but it annoys me that im losing weight because i dont want to go back to how i was, i keep saying i hate losing the weight and i want to be fat again but i dont mean it and i hate that. The stupid crap has come back and is there in the back of my head and i feel dirty because of it. After posting here i feel like my own mind is laughing at me because im weak and am letting all the bad stuff back in iykwim? I feel like a crap Mum because i have stupid ways of eating food still and i dont want Ellie to copy me. I havent been getting help, to me that means ive let it win. I've not said how i feel to anyone except on here.

I completely relate to both of you, I posted before but got scared and wiped it. I've recently lost my job and whereas I have always been bulimic we really cant afford for me to binge so I stopped eating and my milk has gone I've tried really hard today but I turn to drink when I cant binge and that wont help.. i may delete this....scared of what people will think

No one here is going to think badly of you hun, we're all in the same boat. Are you getting help sweetie?

Thanks no, i've tried having counselling in the past but it didnt help me. How are you doing? I'm back down to pre-preg weight now, trying to hold it there and taking vitamins to get my milk back x

 

[Groovychick]

Struggling so much . . .

 

[9babiesgone]

sorry to hear that groovychick

hope things get better for you!

 

[Groovychick]

Thanks hun. Could just do with a miracle right now! How are you hun?

 

[9babiesgone]

I am awful. I have all this stress on me, and the one thing I really want to do to cope with it, isnt healthy but been fighting it all day and dont know if I can fight the urge anymore.
I just want to be done with all this stress. and such.
I dont want to relapse again. but I dont think I am going to be able to hold back anymore.

Why do you need an miracle? are you ok??

you can vent if you need to.

 

[Groovychick]

hun. I just feel as though my life is falling apart right now. My partner and I are barely speaking, my ED is getting worse, I'm feeling depressed and am failing my university course. I just wish something would go right for me . . .

 

[9babiesgone]

hun. I just feel as though my life is falling apart right now. My partner and I are barely speaking, my ED is getting worse, I'm feeling depressed and am failing my university course. I just wish something would go right for me . . .

Oh my I am sorry!!

It is so hard, lately me and my husband have been fighting for no reason. and he doesnt get how depressed I am lately. so I can definitely relate. I am sending healing vibes that things get better, if you dont mind.
I am hoping and praying things get better for you, bc you deserve it!!!

 

[Groovychick]

Thank you ever so much hun. Healing vibes coming your way too.

 

[9babiesgone]

Thanks!!! I am rooting for you!!!

 

[Groovychick]

I could definitely do with the support right now hun.

 

[9babiesgone]

Well I am here if you need me!!!

 

[Groovychick]

Feeling a bit better today. Am trying really hard not to give in the negative urges and have so far succeeded. I bought some baby clothes earlier today which certainly cheered me up! Perhaps I could do something small each day for myself just to remind me that I'm a worthwhile person?