~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Groovychick]

I can assure you that you are not fat hun.

 

[weebooda]

Went to the hospital this morning and I have gone up to 120lbs; which is obviously great news as far as babies as concerned; a little hard to see because I haven't weighed that much in my life. Although, I looked in the mirror this morning and I am not looking difinitively pregnant and not just like I am fat; which make me feel better!

Hope everyone else is going ok.

Hunny I pretty much have exactly same stats right now and same thoughts...im convinced my stomach IS DEFINITELY bulging out as if im 5 months pregnant, not 8 weeks! like you i've also never been this weight before so am just trying to rationalise it and put it down to:

Increased fluid and blood volume
fluid retention due to hormones
"rearrangement" of muscle/adipose tissue
hormones also f***ing with my head :/

It's bloody horrible specially when you feel so guilty for having these thoughts its bloody horrible and evil!!!!!!

 

[louandivy]

Girls I don't know if this will help but this article has definitely helped me feel better in the past

https://www.healthdiscovery.net/articles/scale_lies.htm

 

[Groovychick]

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Groovychick]

Having a really rough time at the moment. Just b/p for the third time in four days. Its physically and emotionally draining. I can't stop.

 

[9babiesgone]

I am a recovering anorexic. I am doing really well lately but since my recent loss, I had a relapse. It is not that great, trying to get back on track so by february I can ttc again.

 

[Groovychick]

 

[9babiesgone]

thanks groovy!!! I needed that badly!

 

[Sarah10]

Sending you all hugs, you deserve them! groovychick how are you today? big hug!
9babies, i am really sorry to hear about your losses, stay strong xxx hoping you feel better though i know it's not easy xx

 

[Sarah10]

Girls i think i'm gonna do a spoiler, contains food/weight, blah! ( i don't know if its allowed hence the spoiler, will remove if needed.

Spoiler

Gaah, where do i begin? why evertime i try to go on a healthy diet do i go too far.. obsessed? was doing really well, like eating healthy, and now i can't do it, i need to starve. weighed myself, o/h weighed himself too, he is 30lbs heavier than me, i wish i was more smaller than him. He tried picking me up and he barely could! everyone wants a man to pick her up right? got a book signing in may and im dreading it, i need to be smaller for that, pressure anyone? all my family have some mental disorder it's pathetic! mum sis and bro all depressed, sis and i have panic attacks and i also have an ED, had this for 6 years, oh my god, 6 years? where did that go. why cant i just eat without worrying about calories and how much weight i will gain.

 

[Groovychick]

thanks groovy!!! I needed that badly!

You are more than welcome hun. Hugs always at the ready when needed.

Not doing so well at the moment myself. B/p almost every day and it is physically and emotionally draining. I want a huge hug and reassurance. OH won't offer me that. He says he wants results. I explained that this will be a gradual process, but he won't listen. Frustrating. I know this isn't doing any good and the last thing I would want to do is cause any harm. At least my m/w is aware of the situation . . .

 

[9babiesgone]

wow I am so sorry. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter I struggled with purging and starving. I have been relapsing lately. so I can relate. I it so difficult for the ones we love to understand that recovery is not a simple thing, or an easy thing and we can not just snap out of it just bc we are pregnant. (i am not currently pregnant).
I mean I can not even snap out of it, when I am not pregnant. It is a very long process.
I hope he understands soon!!! xxx

 

[Groovychick]

Thanks hun. As much as they want to help, I think its just frustrating for them you know? They see the distress and turmoil that it is causing us and that upsets them too. Although its unrealistic to expect an instant cure, I can understand why they would want that to be the case. I just find it difficult to want to recover, even though I know it is having a negative effect on my body. Its been my coping mechanism for so long now that I am struggling giving it up. I am sure many of you can empathise with that.

 

[A3my]

 

[A3my]

 

[9babiesgone]

Thanks hun. As much as they want to help, I think its just frustrating for them you know? They see the distress and turmoil that it is causing us and that upsets them too. Although its unrealistic to expect an instant cure, I can understand why they would want that to be the case. I just find it difficult to want to recover, even though I know it is having a negative effect on my body. Its been my coping mechanism for so long now that I am struggling giving it up. I am sure many of you can empathise with that.

I know exactly what you mean! it is a very hard coping mechanism for me to give up too! especially after my last mc , bc it was so traumatic, that I honestly just relapsed, and I can not seem to give it up. I am trying hard. I think I will just have to go back to therapy. and I really dont want to.

 

[Sarah10]

I want to lose weight Safetly and Healthily without all this obsessive shit. Is that even possible

 

[Groovychick]

I think I'm going to have to go back into therapy too. I just can't continue like this.

 

[BunnyFace]

Only just found this thread! I thought i'd introduce myself, but first to everyone!
I've suffered from disordered eating since i was 8 (im 20 now :wacko)
During my pregnancy was the only time i felt "in control" (well sort of, iykwim) i had to eat for my baby and i did and i put on weight and i didnt care. Which is the first time in my life and it was a great feeling. Im breastfeeding my LO and have lost alot of weight doing it and im bloody terrified im going to start "liking" losing the weight and end up going back to a place i dont want to be. Im even worried about posting this as i feel by doing so im letting it get back into my head
But anyway, hello to you all!

 

[Sarah10]

hiya bunnyface xx