I am so down and out right now.
I have just started back at uni, I have gained a few pounds over the summer and I was a bit paranoid as I was always the thinnest in my group of friends so I was worried would look way bigger. At the start (last week) I felt ok but started restricting but not too bad just to lose a few pounds, however my tutor I met on Friday has an eating disorder and talks openly about it.
It's triggering me massively, she is tiny and relishes in how small her frame is, I cant concentrate on anything and my competitive streak wants to get thinner than her. Irrational, stupid and wrong but I cannot control how I feel I have upped my restricting, I cant exercise yet as my foot is still bad, I am already grumpy etc. as food is never off my mind and I cannot focus at all.
Sorry for the rant of gibberish I am in an all time low and I cannot be bothered with anything atm.