~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Rin731]

Ugh....

Spoiler

I have hardly eaten anything all day, and I'm ashamed of how much I like it.
I am now sipping on some sugar free orange drink that I ADDED sugar to, because I feel like I'm going to pass out. *sigh*

Also cooking a cup of whole grain pasta to put some veggie only sauce on...so I hope this headache goes away....

How is everyone else?


Welcome, Alaskagrown.

 

[mayb_baby]

I'm dealing with the bulimia/pregnancy thing right now.

I started my anorexia/bulimia at 13, at 14 I was hospitalized in the ICU and sent out of state to live in a residential treatment facility for 14 months. I got better...for a while. I lost a whole bunch of weight again at 17, and was hospitalized in the ICU several times within one month before I was admitted into a residential treatment facility again, but only for 10 months.

Although residential treatment provided me with a bunch of very helpful tools, I never really took full advantage of it. I was still very secret about my feelings and thoughts because I was embarrassed of appearing imperfect. I wanted to be the perfect, happy-go-lucky patient who all the therapists would think, "Wow, she's an easy-going patient." I skimmed by the radar by putting up this front, unfortunately.

As we all know, no matter how "cured" you think you are, the thoughts are still a daily struggle. I've gotten to the point where I've been able to maintain my weight in a healthy range (HUUUUGE STEP FOR ME!), but I still purge on occasion.

The pregnancy thing is scaring me. I am very obsessive about my weight, and if I gain more than the bare minimum for pregnancy, I feel like I will crumble and break down. I feel selfish for thinking this way I am trying to use this pregnancy as a motivator to eat healthfully and not purge...

I won't talk to my OH about it. He doesn't like to talk about that stuff...he's not really into that mushy emotional stuff. His answer is, "Uh...just eat." I haven't told anyone else because, again, I'm afraid of people thinking I'm a freak or them becoming freaking food police every time I eat with them. I hate that. And again, I put up that "perfect front." I've tried a therapist in town when I was a teen and my parents forked over the bill, but now that I'm an adult and on my own I cannot afford a therapist

Whew! It helps to get this out!!

I put on 4stn and I never ate loads it was gallons of semi skimmed milk as my heartburn was awful. I went from 7stn to 11stn but I was huge and only had a 7lb baby and within 6days I was 8stn.
Hope you stay healthy for both you and your LO xxxx

 

[mayb_baby]

Ugh....

Spoiler

I have hardly eaten anything all day, and I'm ashamed of how much I like it.
I am now sipping on some sugar free orange drink that I ADDED sugar to, because I feel like I'm going to pass out. *sigh*

Also cooking a cup of whole grain pasta to put some veggie only sauce on...so I hope this headache goes away....

How is everyone else?


Welcome, Alaskagrown.

Goood

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Spoiler

Spoiler

I really cleaned my house like 4hours of scrubbing and did some tutoring for my cousin and have only had 4 coffees all day as I was a pig yesterday and now I am having a grilled chicken breast

 

[HellBunny]

I'm ill today.. well this week as i've got the flu and i'm secretly loving having no appetite.. yet i gained a pound, i know i have to gain.. but already? ah well.
I tell myself as soon as he/she is born i can act on my ED.. but its a shit way of thinking and i can't be the best mummy can i?

 

[annawrigley]

Oooh Anna can you maybe post the links to the vids? I ended up putting some herbal drops in my tea and that seemed to help.

These are my favourite channels
Gentle Whispering
Library Voices Plz
Miss Vindicat
Emerald Isle Whispers
The Travel Student

I don't like the 'sounds' videos but I like when they talk or describe things, or just ramble about nothing. And I love Gentle Whispering's role plays.
I'm such a geek But they relax me soo much

 

[booda]

hello...i may well be hovering around here, not sure though, I need to work out what's denial and what's paranoia.....ah im making no sense but nevermind. Basically OH keeps pointing out some of my returning "behaviours" although I'm not aware im "doing" them. Or maybe I am aware but....argh fuckit i don't know.
*clicks 'post' as doesn't know what else to do*

 

[Lubbird]

Cheers Anna x

 

[HellBunny]

hello...i may well be hovering around here, not sure though, I need to work out what's denial and what's paranoia.....ah im making no sense but nevermind. Basically OH keeps pointing out some of my returning "behaviours" although I'm not aware im "doing" them. Or maybe I am aware but....argh fuckit i don't know.
*clicks 'post' as doesn't know what else to do*

Thing is with ED's, you kind of get to see it as normal behaviour, so we become less aware of the things we do, which is why your o/h is noticing yet you aren't. I hope you are ok x

 

[annawrigley]

hello...i may well be hovering around here, not sure though, I need to work out what's denial and what's paranoia.....ah im making no sense but nevermind. Basically OH keeps pointing out some of my returning "behaviours" although I'm not aware im "doing" them. Or maybe I am aware but....argh fuckit i don't know.
*clicks 'post' as doesn't know what else to do*

Hopefully you're not returning to old habits We're all here if you wanna talk xx

 

[mayb_baby]

I feel like a massive fat bitch atm.

 

[HellBunny]

I feel like a massive fat bitch atm.

Aww hun your not! whats wrong?x

 

[mayb_baby]

I got a dress and I look disgusting in it sooo big and now I don't even want to go out for halloween let alone meet friends when I look as I do. I seem to be really bloated and I know I am no overweight etc. But I am for 'me'

 

[mayb_baby]

Have had a dreadful day and have a splitting headache and feel alone

 

[booda]

Have had a dreadful day and have a splitting headache and feel alone

(hugs) don't know what else to say cept hope you feel better soon x

 

[mayb_baby]

OH has ordered a pizza 16" cheese and ham. I want to because I want it sooooo much

 

[annawrigley]

I feel like a fraud, I feel stupid even being on this thread cos I've been eating so much lately. I feel enormous and gross

 

[mayb_baby]

I feel like a fraud, I feel stupid even being on this thread cos I've been eating so much lately. I feel enormous and gross

Anna you are far from enormous but I know how you feel I had 4 slices of pizza after nothing but proplus all day
I knew when I started I would lose control. I'm a fat bitch who deserves this shit

 

[annawrigley]

You don't Neither of us do but for some reason we feel like we have to suffer

 

[Lubbird]

I feel like a fraud, I feel stupid even being on this thread cos I've been eating so much lately. I feel enormous and gross

You don't look the tiniest bit enormous in your dp.

 

[Jellyt]

So I weighed myself this morning. I wont put my weight but my BMI is 17. I brought a massive tub of chocolate because to be honest, I look awful but now it's making me panic. My friend was gonna come round and eat it with me and now I'm panicking about it.