Well in the United Pentecostal Church, apparently they believe that Women HAVE to wear skirts, all day, every day. They also say you can't cut your hair, and aren't allowed to wear Jewlery. But I just don't believe that. I need my hair short. If it gets long, I can't stand it around my shoulders. I like wearing the occasional piece of Jewlery, especially if its something special I was given as a gift. Plus...I don't wear skirts..Ever... I'm not that type of Girl. I've always been more of a Tom-boy type. And guys aren't allowed to wear shorts, they always have to wear pants. Well you know what? Its hot outside, and my husband needs to wear shorts!
So basically, I don't like the fact that we have to change SO much of ourselves just to go to Church. God doesn't judge us by that. But apparently they think its a Salvation thing. They've never actually talked to us about it, but we started going to that Church in March, and I guess since we haven't "Conformed", they haven't been as kind to us, or they haven't had as much conversation with us. I just feel outcast by that, and its starting to really bother me.
As for my friend, we just became friends in June. We went to a Ladies Retreat and really hit it off. We spent a lot of time together. I really liked her as a friend. She led kind of a double life in the way that she would party and drink, but I was the only one in Church that knew. She confided in me cause I don't judge people. And she would let me know that time and time again. But It doesn't bother me, we're young, plus I only stopped drinking a few months before we became friends and a lot of my friends and even my siblings drink and party, so I'm used to it.
But she would come to Church and be the Church girl then. So my brother came to stay with us for the summer, and she really like him. Something about him just jumped out at her. He's 7 years younger than her, so she didn't like him in that way. (He's 17) But they went and hung out one day, so when I met up with them, they asked if she could take him to a party one day. I knew that he liked going to parties cause he's at that age, plus I trusted her and they ambushed me, and I said sure. It wasn't a good Idea, I know. Bad judgement on my part, but oh well, I can't change it.
So later that day we went to the beach. She was in the middle of a pregnancy scare then. She's single, so this was not a good thing. I told her to take the test cause she said she was 2.5 weeks late when she talked to me about it, but by this point it was almost 3.5 I think. I told to test, time and time again. She kept saying she would, but she never did. So we were there and she said "Yes, I will take it today" and out of my mouth came the worst words I can imagine. I don't know why I said it, I can't even remember the last time I said that word, and I didn't judge her at ALL for having a pregnancy scare. It happens. (I got pregnant before I was married when I was 17) But I said "No you're not you lying whore."
(Except without the smiley face, I was ashamed and shocked!) I kept apologizing! I even cried cause I felt so bad! What a terrible thing to say!! I can't even believe I said it! And she kept forgiving me and saying "It's under the Blood"
So it seemed like she forgave me, but when Church came the next week, it really didn't feel like it at all. She got someone to sit beside her in Church so that I couldn't (A person that she brought to my birthday without asking or informing me of, she also spent my whole birthday talking with her and pretty much ignoring me. I was upset by that) And barely talked to me. I had texted her asking when we were going to the gym again cause we had made it a pretty regular thing, and she ignored me. Then she avoided me the whole time.
So this was in the first couple days of August that this happened. Then I went on August 24th to visit my dad for a bit. I ended up staying for a week and a half. I hadn't talked to her in about two weeks since that whole incident. But on the way to my dads, she sent a text saying "Love and miss you. I hope you're okay." (I was struggling with some things) And that's the last I heard from her.
Then one night, my Husband called cause we missed each other and told me that she and a few other people (including my little brother) were drinking at our house while NEITHER of us were there!
At first I was just stunned and I cried cause she ignored me for 2-3 weeks, and now she's hanging out with my brother!? That was hurtful. Then my husband called me the next day to give me the story as to what happened. And after talking to a few people that were there, and getting people's stories, what I gather is that she made a plan with my brother to drink right after a Church Youth event that day. Then they went to the Youth Service, and stopped by my husbands work to give him a slurpee and she just threw it at him "We're getting drunk at your house." And he was flustered, and said, "What?" And then she said "Krystal said I could party with Alex." And led him to believe that she talked to me about this and I said it was fine if they did this at my house. He then thought I said it was okay, so he laid out some ground rules and One of them was specifically said "NO Underage drinking" (The Drinking age is 19 here) And apparently she said to my friend, "He looks uncomfortable, but we're still going to do this." and then she gave my brother drinks.
Not to mention she had to strangers there that my Husband didn't know. I knew kinda one of them. She was the one that she brought to my birthday without asking. I wasn't happy about that!
So when I came home nearly a week later, I didn't know what to say to her! I had pretty much the whole story, but I texted her and said "So what's your side of this whole story?"
Then the conversation just escalated from her side. She started accusing me of not letting this go. She called my Husband a gossip. (He vented to ONE person at Church, but didn't use any names. The person figured out who had done this though) I was trying to keep calm, I just wanted to know what happened from her side. She kept saying "Its under the blood on my end, you need to let it go."
She was also saying stuff about how someone found out at Church that she was drinking and said "So and So is my friend, how do you think she felt when she found out I was drinking?"
I said, "I'm not judging you for drinking, but if you're going to drink, don't be surprised if people find out about it."
I told her I wanted to talk in person cause nothing can really get solved over text and she absolutely refused. She ended up ending the friendship. I was distraught. I had pretty much already forgiven her, but she just backed out. (I don't have great luck with friends, and she knew this so it made it even worse) Then my Husband got so upset by calling him a Gossip (HE IS NOT) that he called her. They had a really heated discussion. He ended up saying "I'm sorry your friends found out that you're leading a double life."
HARSH TRUTH! It was very harsh, but that is the truth. She got very offended by that and he said that in the same breath, she defended herself by admitting it. Basically she was trying to defend the fact that she doesn'tlive a double life by saying to him "You know how hard my life is, you know how I struggle with this."
Mostly he was upset cause he had two complete strangers in his house. She was saying that they were the Churchiest Church people, and saints. But That's not what bothered him. It was the fact he didn't know them.
So basically we haven't talked since then. But I was on facebook today, and she was putting pictures of her and friends, and talking about how great her friends are and how life is so great. That was very hurtful for me to read
Sorry for the LOOOONNNGGG VENT. I'm just so upset, and don't understand why she doesn't realize this was a problem. She made us out to be the bad guys in this somehow. (I can type out the Texts for you if you want to read them)
But I just don't know how I feel. I haven't really dealt with the fact that this happened yet. My dad says that she probably feels very ashamed and embarassed that she took advantage and manipulated us like this, that she's trying to cover it up by blaming other people. He says he feels bad for her.
I don't know how I feel.
There is no more comforting feeling than that! 
