Any OCD Mums? or mums with axiety disorders?

[youngwife20]

Hi all,
Hope you don't mind me posting.

I have suffered from health anxiety since I was 12 which was bad when I was pregnant and has only intensified since my sons birth. I often feel l love him so much I could not cope with him being unwell.

I also have OCD compulsions - I am really bad with numbers.

It is nice not to feel so alone x

hey hun im very glad you posted! welcome! and your never alone hun , how are you feeling today . and what is it about numbers for you xx

 

[ArmyWife1984]

Hello :wave: I tried to read as many replies as I could but there is alot! I'm so happy to find this thread for ocd mommies, yet sad that we are on this thread. I hate my OCD!

I have had ocd since I was 5yrs old. It has came and gone my whole life. Its changed from hand washing to checking doors, stove.
And now its mainly driving. I hate to drive.
But I started medication (fluvoxamine- Generic for Luvox) And it has helped soooo much!

Stay Strong Mommies!!! Let's win the ocd fight!!

heyyy hun i hope we do win this fight hun xx hugs xx and wow 5 years old!! may i ask what sort of things you were doing then? i hope u had a good day xx x

When I was 5yrs old I would repeatdly ask my parents if I was a good person and keep asking until I was in tears. I also had a weird thing with touching the carpet when going to bed. If my feet touched the carpet in my room while walking to the bed, I would have to go wash it off. So i would hop scotch to my bed using clothes etc lol.
I think it was my fear of diseases , which I had really bad when I was little like between 7-10 yrs old.
My dad told me he had OCD way before I was born,but never after. So I assume it must be in my genes. I really hope LO doesn't have it too.

thank you so much for explaining hun , its so sad that you had ocd so young and you couldnt just let go and be a kid , and i think it is in the genes because my mums habits are not noticable at all and it didnt effect her parenting in anyway, yet i still got it , ( worse than her) as my mums doesnt effect her daily life just things like" i have to move my toes this many times while the tv advert is on" or when she is axious i can see her wiggling her toes under neath the covers say if i was at her house. but thats only little and i never noticed as a kid . xx

Do you notice your ocd spike some years and mellow other years? Thats how mine goes. It seems like when I'm really happy about something like marriage, having a baby, my ocd spikes.
Do you remember the moment or age when your ocd started?

 

[MrsH1984]

Hi hunn! i posted a reply but then it all deleleted! booho will try again lol.

So i was saying im very happy with your long post lol i love reading long messages!

MRSH-I feel the same about the whole not cleaning ocd. As that’s the one you most hear about . I have an issue with germs . not mess exactly. Im more a ritual and obsessive thinker and axious fearer than clean clean clean. I have gone through hand washing phases but that out of everything is the least probomatic as they don’t last long lol.

I couldn’t think of any fun quirks lol but these are what I could remember lol theres probs a million more but I don’t always remember them as its just what I think is normal lol

I align things too,
Remote controles, soaps and stuff.
This is the list of some things I do that my husband is saying as I write.
Touching things a certain amount of time over and over things such as:
Light switches
Items on the table,
His hand
Anything basicly when im walking round shops etc.
Asking things repeaditly. Sometimes the same question.
Hate my toothbrush touching his.
Always checking everything,
Door handles.
Is the door in our car locked. Repeadidly saying “ lock us in” as I im afraid when we stop at the traffic light someone will get into our car.

Okay back to me
I have mentioned this above.
My mum has to say I love you when she is leaving the room , ending a conversation,hanging up the phone etc. or something bad might happen to her.
Sometimes I need my husband to do certain things. Say certain things. I need to say something to make him say what he has to say or I get a headache.

When someone says something negative I have to say “ god for bid” and do a weird clicking thing with my fingers .
I alwayssss do the “ so this by this time” my mum does it too. She has to do something a certain amount of time before her program starts like a movement with her foot.
I didn’t think that was an ocd thing for me lol I thought it was just me being competitive with myself lol also I try to be orgonised but when im getting ready to go somwere it feels like there is just so much to do that I just end up moving so slow and not doing it fast enough.
Also sometimes I feel strange and get the urge to tidy up ( I hate tidiein usualy_) but when I feel this way I tidy really fast really good . that doesn’t happen often though!
Also I cant do that squared numbe thing because I cant even remember what a squared number is lol im bad at maths haha

Sorry about my bad spelling I type so fast n I cant go back and spell check it all lol xx

edit that reminds me of another one i hate when people put bags on the bed like hand bags makes me want to vomit coz of germs lol x

Hi youngwife, sorry not been on in a while, been a busy week!

We sound quite similar in the 'type' of OCD tendancies we each have! I too go through the mad crazy clean up phase when I think the deep cleaning has got on top of me!! But I do try and tidy well as we go along so the house isn't untidy!

I remember you saying about your mum saying I love you etc... I don't really have any that relate to other people cus I try to hide it so don't include people! But it's never been an issue for me to need that luckily anyway, other wise I'd end up panicking how to get them to do it!! Haha! I have tried to get DH to do certain things like shut doors etc especially when LO was tiny and my OCD tendancies were at their worst!

I was my hands lots and do use hand sanitizer a lot (my hands have eczema over them because of this) but I don't do it excessively and don't have to wash them a certain amount of times or anything! But I do rewash if I then touch the bin or dogs bowl for example! I think other people are weird for NOT washing their hands though!!

It's felt good to get this out on, and where no one knows me so no judgement!!! Thanks for the thread hunni xxx

 

[youngwife20]

Hello :wave: I tried to read as many replies as I could but there is alot! I'm so happy to find this thread for ocd mommies, yet sad that we are on this thread. I hate my OCD!

I have had ocd since I was 5yrs old. It has came and gone my whole life. Its changed from hand washing to checking doors, stove.
And now its mainly driving. I hate to drive.
But I started medication (fluvoxamine- Generic for Luvox) And it has helped soooo much!

Stay Strong Mommies!!! Let's win the ocd fight!!

heyyy hun i hope we do win this fight hun xx hugs xx and wow 5 years old!! may i ask what sort of things you were doing then? i hope u had a good day xx x

When I was 5yrs old I would repeatdly ask my parents if I was a good person and keep asking until I was in tears. I also had a weird thing with touching the carpet when going to bed. If my feet touched the carpet in my room while walking to the bed, I would have to go wash it off. So i would hop scotch to my bed using clothes etc lol.
I think it was my fear of diseases , which I had really bad when I was little like between 7-10 yrs old.
My dad told me he had OCD way before I was born,but never after. So I assume it must be in my genes. I really hope LO doesn't have it too.

thank you so much for explaining hun , its so sad that you had ocd so young and you couldnt just let go and be a kid , and i think it is in the genes because my mums habits are not noticable at all and it didnt effect her parenting in anyway, yet i still got it , ( worse than her) as my mums doesnt effect her daily life just things like" i have to move my toes this many times while the tv advert is on" or when she is axious i can see her wiggling her toes under neath the covers say if i was at her house. but thats only little and i never noticed as a kid . xx

Do you notice your ocd spike some years and mellow other years? Thats how mine goes. It seems like when I'm really happy about something like marriage, having a baby, my ocd spikes.
Do you remember the moment or age when your ocd started?

Hi Hun and i do notice the spike it was at its worse when i was 15 it was awful, i got jumped in a racial attac by about 20 boys and girls, also my dad was beating me up at that time i was crazy i got to a point were my ocd habits were so bad i couldnt leave the house as id get to school and i would have to get 2 buses home to come back and check my door! and i was so angry because i couldnt get all my h abits done and noeone understood. i thin k also when i got married planning my wedding was a big axious time for me and my list writing was so extreeme i stuckk about ten lists on my wall at my mums house to make sure everyone knew what they were doing.

i think my ocd started when my brother died or when i realised he was sick, i was 8 and when he died the day he died i wasnt in the same rooom so i didnt say i love u before he went. so every day since that day i would make sure my mum sed i love u i also use to listen to her breathing and when i didnt hear her snoring i would think she was dead so id lie awake all night crying wondering how little me was gonna plan a funeral. really morbid thoughts but i was a nutcase xx

 

[youngwife20]

Hi hunn! i posted a reply but then it all deleleted! booho will try again lol.

So i was saying im very happy with your long post lol i love reading long messages!

MRSH-I feel the same about the whole not cleaning ocd. As that’s the one you most hear about . I have an issue with germs . not mess exactly. Im more a ritual and obsessive thinker and axious fearer than clean clean clean. I have gone through hand washing phases but that out of everything is the least probomatic as they don’t last long lol.

I couldn’t think of any fun quirks lol but these are what I could remember lol theres probs a million more but I don’t always remember them as its just what I think is normal lol

I align things too,
Remote controles, soaps and stuff.
This is the list of some things I do that my husband is saying as I write.
Touching things a certain amount of time over and over things such as:
Light switches
Items on the table,
His hand
Anything basicly when im walking round shops etc.
Asking things repeaditly. Sometimes the same question.
Hate my toothbrush touching his.
Always checking everything,
Door handles.
Is the door in our car locked. Repeadidly saying “ lock us in” as I im afraid when we stop at the traffic light someone will get into our car.

Okay back to me
I have mentioned this above.
My mum has to say I love you when she is leaving the room , ending a conversation,hanging up the phone etc. or something bad might happen to her.
Sometimes I need my husband to do certain things. Say certain things. I need to say something to make him say what he has to say or I get a headache.

When someone says something negative I have to say “ god for bid” and do a weird clicking thing with my fingers .
I alwayssss do the “ so this by this time” my mum does it too. She has to do something a certain amount of time before her program starts like a movement with her foot.
I didn’t think that was an ocd thing for me lol I thought it was just me being competitive with myself lol also I try to be orgonised but when im getting ready to go somwere it feels like there is just so much to do that I just end up moving so slow and not doing it fast enough.
Also sometimes I feel strange and get the urge to tidy up ( I hate tidiein usualy_) but when I feel this way I tidy really fast really good . that doesn’t happen often though!
Also I cant do that squared numbe thing because I cant even remember what a squared number is lol im bad at maths haha

Sorry about my bad spelling I type so fast n I cant go back and spell check it all lol xx

edit that reminds me of another one i hate when people put bags on the bed like hand bags makes me want to vomit coz of germs lol x

Hi youngwife, sorry not been on in a while, been a busy week!

We sound quite similar in the 'type' of OCD tendancies we each have! I too go through the mad crazy clean up phase when I think the deep cleaning has got on top of me!! But I do try and tidy well as we go along so the house isn't untidy!

I remember you saying about your mum saying I love you etc... I don't really have any that relate to other people cus I try to hide it so don't include people! But it's never been an issue for me to need that luckily anyway, other wise I'd end up panicking how to get them to do it!! Haha! I have tried to get DH to do certain things like shut doors etc especially when LO was tiny and my OCD tendancies were at their worst!

I was my hands lots and do use hand sanitizer a lot (my hands have eczema over them because of this) but I don't do it excessively and don't have to wash them a certain amount of times or anything! But I do rewash if I then touch the bin or dogs bowl for example! I think other people are weird for NOT washing their hands though!!

It's felt good to get this out on, and where no one knows me so no judgement!!! Thanks for the thread hunni xxx

your so welcome and thank you so much for sharing hun! i also feel like people are weird! when i told my friend i dont touch toilet door handles/flushers i put tissue on the seat she said that wasnt a normal thing to do lol ive done it my whole life i was likke ur joking! u touch the flusher with ur bare hands? i was almost puking lol . i didnt think it was an ocd thing xx

and i noticed that yesturday my daughter had a temp and i was so worried about her so i came in the room in the middle of the night saying " before u take a temp wash ur hands then use hand sanitizer" and then id go of and re wash my hands and use it as i didnt wanna make her worse. i was very axious than God she is alot better so ive stopped doing it lol xx ( not stopped washing my hands haha stoped overusing the sanitizer x

 

[ArmyWife1984]

Hello :wave: I tried to read as many replies as I could but there is alot! I'm so happy to find this thread for ocd mommies, yet sad that we are on this thread. I hate my OCD!

I have had ocd since I was 5yrs old. It has came and gone my whole life. Its changed from hand washing to checking doors, stove.
And now its mainly driving. I hate to drive.
But I started medication (fluvoxamine- Generic for Luvox) And it has helped soooo much!

Stay Strong Mommies!!! Let's win the ocd fight!!

heyyy hun i hope we do win this fight hun xx hugs xx and wow 5 years old!! may i ask what sort of things you were doing then? i hope u had a good day xx x

When I was 5yrs old I would repeatdly ask my parents if I was a good person and keep asking until I was in tears. I also had a weird thing with touching the carpet when going to bed. If my feet touched the carpet in my room while walking to the bed, I would have to go wash it off. So i would hop scotch to my bed using clothes etc lol.
I think it was my fear of diseases , which I had really bad when I was little like between 7-10 yrs old.
My dad told me he had OCD way before I was born,but never after. So I assume it must be in my genes. I really hope LO doesn't have it too.

thank you so much for explaining hun , its so sad that you had ocd so young and you couldnt just let go and be a kid , and i think it is in the genes because my mums habits are not noticable at all and it didnt effect her parenting in anyway, yet i still got it , ( worse than her) as my mums doesnt effect her daily life just things like" i have to move my toes this many times while the tv advert is on" or when she is axious i can see her wiggling her toes under neath the covers say if i was at her house. but thats only little and i never noticed as a kid . xx

Do you notice your ocd spike some years and mellow other years? Thats how mine goes. It seems like when I'm really happy about something like marriage, having a baby, my ocd spikes.
Do you remember the moment or age when your ocd started?

Hi Hun and i do notice the spike it was at its worse when i was 15 it was awful, i got jumped in a racial attac by about 20 boys and girls, also my dad was beating me up at that time i was crazy i got to a point were my ocd habits were so bad i couldnt leave the house as id get to school and i would have to get 2 buses home to come back and check my door! and i was so angry because i couldnt get all my h abits done and noeone understood. i thin k also when i got married planning my wedding was a big axious time for me and my list writing was so extreeme i stuckk about ten lists on my wall at my mums house to make sure everyone knew what they were doing.

i think my ocd started when my brother died or when i realised he was sick, i was 8 and when he died the day he died i wasnt in the same rooom so i didnt say i love u before he went. so every day since that day i would make sure my mum sed i love u i also use to listen to her breathing and when i didnt hear her snoring i would think she was dead so id lie awake all night crying wondering how little me was gonna plan a funeral. really morbid thoughts but i was a nutcase xx

I'm truly so sorry to hear that. You have been through a lot of things in your life! I can't imagine how you must of felt when you were 8 and having to deal with something so serious.
Stay strong Momma!

 

[youngwife20]

Hello :wave: I tried to read as many replies as I could but there is alot! I'm so happy to find this thread for ocd mommies, yet sad that we are on this thread. I hate my OCD!

I have had ocd since I was 5yrs old. It has came and gone my whole life. Its changed from hand washing to checking doors, stove.
And now its mainly driving. I hate to drive.
But I started medication (fluvoxamine- Generic for Luvox) And it has helped soooo much!

Stay Strong Mommies!!! Let's win the ocd fight!!

heyyy hun i hope we do win this fight hun xx hugs xx and wow 5 years old!! may i ask what sort of things you were doing then? i hope u had a good day xx x

When I was 5yrs old I would repeatdly ask my parents if I was a good person and keep asking until I was in tears. I also had a weird thing with touching the carpet when going to bed. If my feet touched the carpet in my room while walking to the bed, I would have to go wash it off. So i would hop scotch to my bed using clothes etc lol.
I think it was my fear of diseases , which I had really bad when I was little like between 7-10 yrs old.
My dad told me he had OCD way before I was born,but never after. So I assume it must be in my genes. I really hope LO doesn't have it too.

thank you so much for explaining hun , its so sad that you had ocd so young and you couldnt just let go and be a kid , and i think it is in the genes because my mums habits are not noticable at all and it didnt effect her parenting in anyway, yet i still got it , ( worse than her) as my mums doesnt effect her daily life just things like" i have to move my toes this many times while the tv advert is on" or when she is axious i can see her wiggling her toes under neath the covers say if i was at her house. but thats only little and i never noticed as a kid . xx

Do you notice your ocd spike some years and mellow other years? Thats how mine goes. It seems like when I'm really happy about something like marriage, having a baby, my ocd spikes.
Do you remember the moment or age when your ocd started?

Hi Hun and i do notice the spike it was at its worse when i was 15 it was awful, i got jumped in a racial attac by about 20 boys and girls, also my dad was beating me up at that time i was crazy i got to a point were my ocd habits were so bad i couldnt leave the house as id get to school and i would have to get 2 buses home to come back and check my door! and i was so angry because i couldnt get all my h abits done and noeone understood. i thin k also when i got married planning my wedding was a big axious time for me and my list writing was so extreeme i stuckk about ten lists on my wall at my mums house to make sure everyone knew what they were doing.

i think my ocd started when my brother died or when i realised he was sick, i was 8 and when he died the day he died i wasnt in the same rooom so i didnt say i love u before he went. so every day since that day i would make sure my mum sed i love u i also use to listen to her breathing and when i didnt hear her snoring i would think she was dead so id lie awake all night crying wondering how little me was gonna plan a funeral. really morbid thoughts but i was a nutcase xx

I'm truly so sorry to hear that. You have been through a lot of things in your life! I can't imagine how you must of felt when you were 8 and having to deal with something so serious.
Stay strong Momma!

thanks hun it realy has made me stronger though and its really made me a really understanding person and i love helping others deal with there situation. also me and my mum are so close. thank u hun xx

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Can I join pls? I have a 3yr old so not really a baby but would be nice to come and talk about my OCD as Im very alone and this thread looks like its still live?!

 

[pinklightbulb]

You can add me on FB if you want to babe

 

[louandivy]

Hello :wave: I tried to read as many replies as I could but there is alot! I'm so happy to find this thread for ocd mommies, yet sad that we are on this thread. I hate my OCD!

I have had ocd since I was 5yrs old. It has came and gone my whole life. Its changed from hand washing to checking doors, stove.
And now its mainly driving. I hate to drive.
But I started medication (fluvoxamine- Generic for Luvox) And it has helped soooo much!

Stay Strong Mommies!!! Let's win the ocd fight!!

heyyy hun i hope we do win this fight hun xx hugs xx and wow 5 years old!! may i ask what sort of things you were doing then? i hope u had a good day xx x

When I was 5yrs old I would repeatdly ask my parents if I was a good person and keep asking until I was in tears. I also had a weird thing with touching the carpet when going to bed. If my feet touched the carpet in my room while walking to the bed, I would have to go wash it off. So i would hop scotch to my bed using clothes etc lol.
I think it was my fear of diseases , which I had really bad when I was little like between 7-10 yrs old.
My dad told me he had OCD way before I was born,but never after. So I assume it must be in my genes. I really hope LO doesn't have it too.

thank you so much for explaining hun , its so sad that you had ocd so young and you couldnt just let go and be a kid , and i think it is in the genes because my mums habits are not noticable at all and it didnt effect her parenting in anyway, yet i still got it , ( worse than her) as my mums doesnt effect her daily life just things like" i have to move my toes this many times while the tv advert is on" or when she is axious i can see her wiggling her toes under neath the covers say if i was at her house. but thats only little and i never noticed as a kid . xx

Do you notice your ocd spike some years and mellow other years? Thats how mine goes. It seems like when I'm really happy about something like marriage, having a baby, my ocd spikes.
Do you remember the moment or age when your ocd started?

Hi Hun and i do notice the spike it was at its worse when i was 15 it was awful, i got jumped in a racial attac by about 20 boys and girls, also my dad was beating me up at that time i was crazy i got to a point were my ocd habits were so bad i couldnt leave the house as id get to school and i would have to get 2 buses home to come back and check my door! and i was so angry because i couldnt get all my h abits done and noeone understood. i thin k also when i got married planning my wedding was a big axious time for me and my list writing was so extreeme i stuckk about ten lists on my wall at my mums house to make sure everyone knew what they were doing.

i think my ocd started when my brother died or when i realised he was sick, i was 8 and when he died the day he died i wasnt in the same rooom so i didnt say i love u before he went. so every day since that day i would make sure my mum sed i love u i also use to listen to her breathing and when i didnt hear her snoring i would think she was dead so id lie awake all night crying wondering how little me was gonna plan a funeral. really morbid thoughts but i was a nutcase xx

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for what happened to you and I understand it in a way too. My dad died when I was almost 10 which is also when my OCD behaviours started to become apparent and I used to be terrified of my mum dying, after reading About a Boy I convinced myself that she was going to commit suicide so I would sneak into her room constantly at night to check up and make sure she wasn't dead. I also have a really intense fear of diseases.

Does anyone else find that their OCD spikes with the seasons? I find that my obsessive thoughts and actions are way more prevalent in the winter than the summer, maybe because I am so aware of all the different bugs and stuff going around. I try to hide it as much as I can from Ivy but sometimes its so hard. I also have this weird compulsive need to always tell the complete truth, like if someone asks about my day I'm convinced in my head that I have to say everything and can't skip over the details otherwise I'm lying and something bad will happen. Its always that weird sense that something 'bad' will happen but I couldn't even articulate what the 'bad' thing is.

Sorry I don't even have a baby, just a toddler but I haven't seen a thread like this anywhere else!

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Im going to share, I have a toddler not a baby but really need to talk to other about ths. Im so lonely its stupid. My OCD started after I remarried. Went through abuse with my ex and found so much happiness with my now DH but this was for 2 yrs before I started doing things compulsively. First it was repeating prayers to thank God for my happiness. I kept repeating so many times that by the time I was out the house everything would be closed so we gradually stopped going out. I would end up tired and irritable. I would think someththing bad would happen if I didnt thank God enough and correctly.

Then it moved onto just fear of urine. First it was any ones urine inc myself - I had to wash each time I visited loos and changed clothes. It calmed a lot after LO was born so im ok with my own stuff but still have fears with being contaminated, handles, going out when its wet, seeing wet patches and the most awful one blokes urinating in public. For me these obsessions grow into a large monster and the germs/contamination just keeps getting passed through contact until I have cleaned it all up. I cant control everything. I cant control when DH tooushes s ings outside and then touches things in the house. I cant control that my toddler just touched the door handles and just been dangling off my neck. DH has been out with builders opening and closing gates/things which are contaminated and then touching things in house. You get my drift.

I have had this for 6/7 years. It affects me everyday.

Yes, its worse n the winter because everything is soggy and dark. I cant enjoy my new home and my marriage has ruined because of this.

Im glad I can talk to people who will relate.

 

[louandivy]

I'm so sorry Laughoutloud, have you ever received CBT or been on any kind of medication for it? Yeah once you start imagining where germs are and how they are being passed it seems totally out of control...sometimes even just going to a cafe for lunch makes me feel really unclean and covered in germs. In the depth of winter when I'm at my worst I always wonder how I'm going to get through the rest of my life thinking in this way!

 

[LaughOutLoud]

I'm so sorry Laughoutloud, have you ever received CBT or been on any kind of medication for it? Yeah once you start imagining where germs are and how they are being passed it seems totally out of control...sometimes even just going to a cafe for lunch makes me feel really unclean and covered in germs. In the depth of winter when I'm at my worst I always wonder how I'm going to get through the rest of my life thinking in this way!

I know what you mean. I have certain things I do now to try to make things work but most things I used to do, I dont do anymore ie socialise and going out as much as I used to.

How long you had this hun? are you taking treatment?

I am awaiting CBT. I dont handle med well - im a weakling! I had very temporarily taken anti-d's after my first break up with abusive spouse. It made me feel worse and sometimes I feel that these meds have caused the chemical imbalances in me. I used to be fine growing up and going university. It was only after I remarried, I was happy and didnt want anything to go wrong...but it has!

 

[ArmyWife1984]

That's the same for me laughoutloud.

It flares up whenever I am happy in life and then i worry about bad things messing everything up

my ocd had been coming and going since the earliest i can remember at 5yrs old and off and on ever since then.

Meds seem to help me.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I just saw this thread. I also suffer from anxiety...it's been with me all my life but it doesn't always affect me for this worse. For me it's rooted in my childhood. I was born in the midst of air raids and bombing in Iran and though we left when I was a child still, it left its mark. I'm constantly scared of losing ppl I love. It's very hard to have that fear all friggin time!!!

It got worse when I had a baby as there was someone new I loved (and love more than anyone else). I started struggling with anxiety related insomnia and I still do to some extent. I've been on sleep meds due to this on and off though I'm trying to come off of them and manage with counselling.

 

[louandivy]

I'm so sorry Laughoutloud, have you ever received CBT or been on any kind of medication for it? Yeah once you start imagining where germs are and how they are being passed it seems totally out of control...sometimes even just going to a cafe for lunch makes me feel really unclean and covered in germs. In the depth of winter when I'm at my worst I always wonder how I'm going to get through the rest of my life thinking in this way!

I know what you mean. I have certain things I do now to try to make things work but most things I used to do, I dont do anymore ie socialise and going out as much as I used to.

How long you had this hun? are you taking treatment?

I am awaiting CBT. I dont handle med well - im a weakling! I had very temporarily taken anti-d's after my first break up with abusive spouse. It made me feel worse and sometimes I feel that these meds have caused the chemical imbalances in me. I used to be fine growing up and going university. It was only after I remarried, I was happy and didnt want anything to go wrong...but it has!

That doesn't make you a weakling! Which antidepressants were you on? Sometimes it is a matter of finding which medication suits you best but obviously medication isn't for everyone...do you know how long you have to wait for CBT?

I had very OCD behaviours after my dad died when I was a kid but was never diagnosed, and for the latter half of my teenage years up until I got pregnant at 20 I was in and out of treatment for anorexia and bulimia which I think for me, was actually part of my OCD because it was very much about control and an intense, obsessive fear of food contamination. Although I am generally recovered/inrecovery from the ED I still have a really debilitating fear of food contamination along with other things, I have had some therapy for it since Ivy was born and have been offered ADs but I just hate confronting all my past mental health issues so I always end up just blowing it off My anxiety is way worse in Winter though so I keep trying to remind myself that its almost over...next year I think I am going to start taking ADs as soon as the days start getting shorter because I was just terrible this year, it hit me really hard.


ShadowyLady I can't even imagine how scary your childhood must have been, you must have a lot of traumatising memories that must be difficult to deal with. Have you started counselling?

 

[Shadowy Lady]

louandivy - thank you. I have been seeing a councillor on and off since I was a teen. The diagnosis of cause of my anxiety is a recent development though. You know the weird thing is I was too young to understand the war and kinda thought the air raids were fun. But once a missile hit a house in our street (I was 6 then) and I saw the remains of the house. Ever since then I've been terribly scared...

Being a mom has definitely been tough in that respect. My DH thinks I've made a lot of progress though. I just need to get the insomnia under control which is the hardest part :/

I'm so sorry to hear about your OCD. I think OCD and anxiety more so than depression go undiagnosed. I'm not sure why that is. But losing a father is very hard and I can see what it could do to a person

 

[LaughOutLoud]

That's the same for me laughoutloud.

It flares up whenever I am happy in life and then i worry about bad things messing everything up

my ocd had been coming and going since the earliest i can remember at 5yrs old and off and on ever since then.

Meds seem to help me.

wow, you have had it tough hun. I had this in adult life and can see it must have affected your childhood? I really have aged since this. Honestly, I have grey hairs, lost my fashion sense because it was so much hard work and everything has to be almost planned. I used to be well known for my fashion sense and now I think people think I have become like this because I have become a mother - I admit I usually hide behind this too.

What treatments are you on?

 

[LaughOutLoud]

My OCD is not food related and can only imagine how hard and in what other ways this affects you and your health.

Im glad to hear you are dooing something to help yourself. Im not usually good with meds - they make me lose all control and I feel more sick. I couldnt even handle the gas and air during labour so talking and understanding is better for me.

The days are getting better soon, hopefully so this will help you too

I'm so sorry Laughoutloud, have you ever received CBT or been on any kind of medication for it? Yeah once you start imagining where germs are and how they are being passed it seems totally out of control...sometimes even just going to a cafe for lunch makes me feel really unclean and covered in germs. In the depth of winter when I'm at my worst I always wonder how I'm going to get through the rest of my life thinking in this way!

I know what you mean. I have certain things I do now to try to make things work but most things I used to do, I dont do anymore ie socialise and going out as much as I used to.

How long you had this hun? are you taking treatment?

I am awaiting CBT. I dont handle med well - im a weakling! I had very temporarily taken anti-d's after my first break up with abusive spouse. It made me feel worse and sometimes I feel that these meds have caused the chemical imbalances in me. I used to be fine growing up and going university. It was only after I remarried, I was happy and didnt want anything to go wrong...but it has!

That doesn't make you a weakling! Which antidepressants were you on? Sometimes it is a matter of finding which medication suits you best but obviously medication isn't for everyone...do you know how long you have to wait for CBT?

I had very OCD behaviours after my dad died when I was a kid but was never diagnosed, and for the latter half of my teenage years up until I got pregnant at 20 I was in and out of treatment for anorexia and bulimia which I think for me, was actually part of my OCD because it was very much about control and an intense, obsessive fear of food contamination. Although I am generally recovered/inrecovery from the ED I still have a really debilitating fear of food contamination along with other things, I have had some therapy for it since Ivy was born and have been offered ADs but I just hate confronting all my past mental health issues so I always end up just blowing it off My anxiety is way worse in Winter though so I keep trying to remind myself that its almost over...next year I think I am going to start taking ADs as soon as the days start getting shorter because I was just terrible this year, it hit me really hard.


ShadowyLady I can't even imagine how scary your childhood must have been, you must have a lot of traumatising memories that must be difficult to deal with. Have you started counselling?

 

[LaughOutLoud]

louandivy - thank you. I have been seeing a councillor on and off since I was a teen. The diagnosis of cause of my anxiety is a recent development though. You know the weird thing is I was too young to understand the war and kinda thought the air raids were fun. But once a missile hit a house in our street (I was 6 then) and I saw the remains of the house. Ever since then I've been terribly scared...

Being a mom has definitely been tough in that respect. My DH thinks I've made a lot of progress though. I just need to get the insomnia under control which is the hardest part :/

I'm so sorry to hear about your OCD. I think OCD and anxiety more so than depression go undiagnosed. I'm not sure why that is. But losing a father is very hard and I can see what it could do to a person

Sorry to read you had to see that. Its so tough when we as parents protect our children from such things on telly and you had to see this happen right before you.