Any reason for a BFN after 4 positive?

[Elfgirl87]

A glimpse into the last week for my friend. I have known her for two years. This is the LEAST stressed she has been about her ex and kids. She got her divorce a few weeks ago and filed for sole custody with visitation for him. Just a glimpse of what she deals with. And yes, she does really air her dirty laundry like that on fb. Legally, not the best idea.

Thanks for the support. Ya, he told me today he does not love me or the baby. I'm gonna head to the doctor next week when I get back from the funeral. I will raise this child on my own then! (If the little bean really is there, hopefully anyway) I too have this friend on facebook who is going through a lot with the father of her children. He falsely accused her of abusing the kids and then got custody of them. Now he is telling the kids lies about their mother and the kids are starting to hate their mother. My husband kinda threatened that too. To turn the child against me. But now he doesn't want anything to do with it. He doesn't even want to see it but we will see how it goes. I hope I really do have my baby! Oh, and I don't have a thermometer and I have a cold, so I don't know how accurate it will be if I do get one but I might try. It's a good idea. I hope you get your little bean soon too. That's again for the help and support!

 

[JLM73]

Elf I think it's great he doesn't want to see the baby.
The last thing you want is to be forced by some court to share YOUR time with your child with an abusive ass, who will see it as a way to get back at you thru the child.
Trust me - don't even speak to him anymore, it's for the best.

 

[DobbyForever]

Agreed! You can do this, and I'm not going to say on your own. You have your family and friends who will pull together to be the village that raises your child. You've got this! Just be very careful of the fact that some states do have grandparent rights and paternal rights. He may want nothing to do with you and the baby now, but once he sees that child support he may reconsider if only to make that payment lower or to control you again. Just stay strong. And one thing I love about my friend is that no matter how much of an a** her ex is, she never says anything bad or good about him to the kids. She only talks about him as needed like tomorrow you are going to dad's house. I don't know how she restrains herself (probably by b*ing about him on FB hahahaha)

 

[JLM73]

Dobby I am the same way with my ex. He does not exist unless my 4 y/o son says something about him, and then I just say Oh yea, thats good.
I make sure all the time my son spends with me is positive and fun, with rules as well.
Everytime I pick him up he runs to me and hugs me and says he missed me.
When my ex comes to get him, I literally have to carry him out to the car, or keep urging him to get in the car.
Kids learn quickly...they see everything. And the only good thing about the court is when they are old enough, they are allowed to speak for themselves and say which parent they would rather spend most of their time with and why.
Hugs - Hang in there Elf

 

[Elfgirl87]

Thanks everyone for your support! I'm hopping on a plane to go back for the funeral and then we will see what happens when I get back. I'm excited to see my family again. I'm gonna have to tell them I'm probably pregnant but they will be ok. They just feel bad for all the things I'm going through. Thanks forum buddies!

 

[PinkLuv24]

You definitely do not need him. Even if he was like... Idk Channing Tatum or Chris Rock dad status no. You only need yourself. Everyone and everything else are just perks. The fear and newness will dissipate over time. Stay strong there will come a time when you look back on this moment and laugh a little because you are just so free and happy. You and your baby will never be alone.

Thanks so much for you encouragement! I am ready to do this. I fly out tomorrow for my grandma's funeral. I'm hoping to get to the doctor when I get back. I'm hoping my little bean is still there but is just being shy. I really want this baby! I do have a question. If I was having a chemical, I would eventually have bleeding right? I'm several days late for my period but as I said I've never been very regular and I could have ovulated later than I thought.

I had a very early m/c (I just hate the term "chemical pregnancy"-it sounds so detached and sterile) but either way, the dr had to give me provera to induce bleeding and "re-set" my hormones so some peoples body know sooner, and for me the provera was hell to take but once my period started I physically felt back to normal and no more pain.

 

[PinkLuv24]

And I really do hope the best for you and this has been an unusual but enlightening thread. I've found these forums very helpful both when I thought I was pg, confirmed pg but lost our baby. And you know what? The father was a lying cheat and still said he would change after I told him bc I thought it was the right thing to do...and then he blamed me for losing it. Everything happens for a reason and I am not happy I lost my little baby but now I have decided and am encouraged by so many women on this forum to be a single mom by choice and am ttc with AI. So whatever your situation is just know it really will work out for the best and no matter what there is wonderful support here 💕😘👍

 

[Elfgirl87]

Just a quick and sad update. I did indeed have a chemical pregnancy. I feel pretty devastated right now but I know I just have to push onward. Thank you everyone for your help and support.

 

[xSweetTartx]

I am so sorry for your loss.
I hope that you can find strength and comfort and hopefully another chance.

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. I'm sorry, but think of this as an opportunity to have a baby either on your own or with someone who will treasure both of you. You deserve that.