any working mums of 2 or more children?

[LDC]

Hi all,

I have a 2 year old and am ttc at the moment (ish).

My 2 year old goes to nursery 2 days a week and is then with my MIL, Oh and me for the rest of the week.

I'm so worried about adding another child into the mix purely because our routine works now! but I really want another child.

I'm going for a job interview tomorrow which completely throws another spanner into the works... essentially I've been in my job now for 18 months (managerial, good pay) but I've been hating it recently to the point where I dont want to go in the mornings and I've never been like that before. Plus I'd lose maternity pay if I left.

The job im going for is term time 9-3 which I can imagine being so much better than currently working 7.30-5. I cant imagine trying to finish work at 5 then pick up 2 kids and do whatever needs doing plus having time to spend with them before bed. Also, long term this would be much better as id get school holidays off so wouldnt have to worry about that.

Short term, ill be on less money (considerably less) and will struggle with child care one afternoon a week, which i currently get off at my job now. I couldnt afford to take the pay cut and put lo in nursery as the afternoon off changes on a two weekly basis (so consistant afternoons just a tuesday one week, friday the next, tuesday then friday to work with my MIL hours) which means I'd have to pay for every tuesday and friday afternoon at nursery to cover for this.

I dont know what to do for the best, do i accept this job if i get offered it as it'd be better in the long term, and less stressful but lose my maternity package and am confused about what to do for the afternoon a week.

or do i stay where i am where there's long hours and I'd be unable to reduce hours realistically by much because of the role, not have school holidays off in the long run but have a maternity package?

I know the job ive gone for doesnt come up much due to working mum's going for them because of the perfect hours. It's the first one I've seen in a long time...

I'm so confused. How does everyone else manage? I dont think we'd be entitled to any benefits as our joint income would be too much

 

[seoj]

It's hard right?! lol. I think it's good to just do like you have- write a list of the pros/cons- and discuss both with OH.

Personally- if my job wasn't as flexible, it would be so much harder! I can work from home (when needed) and work home every Friday and can set my own hours (to an extent)- so I work 7-3:30 in office Mon-Thurs, then 6-2:30 Fridays. LO goes to school all day Tues/Thurs- and MIL watches her Mon/Wed. Then she's home with me on Friday. With our oldest driving now- it's much easier. But when LO was first born- it was a lot more to juggle getting our oldest where she needed to be around our schedule and LO's schedule- so hubby and I just took turns and did what made sense. And it all worked pretty well. Our week days are very structured though! lol.

I did go through a time I hated my job- so I switched to another position with the same company. Same type of work- but different application and new manager and team members. That made a huge difference! But I can't afford less pay. If so- then I might be doing something else entirely?

If you can afford a better schedule- and that feels a good balance, then see if there is a way to make that work. If not- then maybe re-assess in 3-6mos and decide from there? Just depends on what works best for your family unit.

Sorry I'm not great help- you'll get it sorted though!

 

[catty]

I work but only 15-20 hours at nightime. I couldnt afford having 2 in nursery so had to work nights

edit - sorry forgot to read the whole thing. Its so hard to choose isnt it!
imo if you are looking to have a baby soon I would stick at your current job to get the maternity package but thats only because I wouldnt have managed without it

 

[lau86]

Sorry but I think only you can decide which job is best! I am like catty, there's no way I could've survived without maternity pay so that would've been a deciding factor for me. What about other things like career progression etc, or do they not matter to you?
In terms of a second child, I haven't really felt that much added stress (if that's the right word), I mean in some ways it's double, two lots of clothes to lay out, but In most of the ways I'm already doing the jobs already, like making an extra breakfast isn't really any more work if you get me? Plus my eldest is starting to become more independent now.

 

[muffingirl]

I'm in the same position. A job I'd enjoy closer to home is advertised and I've decided not to go for it as I would lose my maternity package. We're looking to ttc this summer so I am sticking it out for now x

 

[Itsychik]

I think Seoj has my job (but with different hours)! I'm in the exact same boat... I work full time (40 hours, 5 days a week) but my current position is extremely flexible. I work from home on Monday's with both kids (DS currently goes to preschool from 9 - 12 on that day) and DH is off on Friday's with the kids, and from Tues - Wed they go to a child minder from 9am - 6pm. My commute to work is 1 hour...

I'm the highest source of income so I prefer to work full time as long as my employer is willing to let me have Monday's at home (and to be honest, I'm usually at home on Friday's as well) but it's a pretty sweet deal.

In your situation, I think I would (personally) stay at your current job at LEAST until you've finished receiving the maternity pay. How long would you be on leave for? Because that's a huge amount to give up. I know how attractive a job with better hours could be but the complication of additional daycare and a lack of maternity pay might really take it's toll, and I would think it's unnecessary stress to have to deal with whenever you get pregnant (good luck!) and/or have a new baby. You know the routine you currently have and by the time you go back to work the new baby will fall into that routine as well... and then you can always start looking for a new job, but with the security in knowing you won't need to miss out on any pay.

That's just my personal opinion though! It's a really tough decision... I wish I worked somewhere closer to home, but that's not likely with the type of job I have. I also considered switching to a different company who would offer me a much higher salary but then I wouldn't be able to work from home and would need additional daycare, or to take a day off, etc, and then I wouldn't be much better off than I am now anyway.

Good luck

 

[Mummy May]

Go with what works around the kids. I have. 24 hour contract but do overtime every week (I'm a postie) I have a child in school and a child with a childminder who is flexible and great! I work 8am til 1/2/3pm depending on what round I'm on. It works but you need routine. Xx

 

[Mummy Bean]

I have two kids and work full time in London with a very unflexible job.
It far from ideal but when on maternity leave I applied for 000's of part time/flexible hour jobs and no luck as i was 'over qualified' and most didnt pay any where near enough.

So I have sucked it and gone back full time, it a really good wage - but needs to be to cover child care costs (nanny 3 days a week and mum 2 days) but that alone £1300+ a month.

Not gonna lie it really hard at times and when I only get to see my boys a couple of hours a day I do question my choices. But I know this is just a phase ...once i have worked here for 18months they have said i can apply for flexi hrs or if I can get a promotion the next role up allows for working from home and flexi hrs - so an end in sight.

 

[LDC]

thanks everyone for all of your thoughts and advice.

everything just feels so confused at the moment.

The place I went for an interview offered me an alternative job, which is more interesting than the post that I applied for and the same money, with more flexible working. So essentially I could have the day off that I struggle for child care.

My husband is encouraging me to go for this new job rather than stay where I am. Part of it for me, I think, is that I've always been career driven and have always been the breadwinner. however my OH is now in a job where he will be getting a 4k pay rise in 10 weeks time, and so then he will be the main earner (especially if I do take this job).

Like some of you have said, it's the long hours, coming home and being tired then still having to sort everything out for the next day on top of anything else that needs doing which means that I'm not making the most of the time I have with my dd or OH as my mind is constantly whirring as to what needs to be done next.

Life seems to be a bit of a chore on a weekday?

xx