Anyone else having trouble convincing the BF/DH?

[WDWJess]

Hi Emi. I noticed you had posted in pregnancy forums, congratulations! I just got my BFP today and am really worried how to tell DH as he still wasn't happy about having another even though he's been having no problems having unprotected sex since July!!! How did your other half take the news?

 

[emicakess]

Well I think my OH started to accept the idea more as time went on because he stopped using withdraw method all together. Then in my TWW (I thought I might be pregnant but thought probably not) I asked him again what his feelings were and he pretty much said if it happens then he's happy, if it doesn't then that's fine too. A few days later I got my bfp and woke him up with the news. His eye got big then he rolled over and said "5 more minutes...." Lol. I think he was scared and shocked at first but I really involve him by talking to him about the development each week, names and involving him in other ways. He has actually surprised me with his level of understanding of what's going on, and how helpful and supportive he is. I didn't think he would be, because he didn't seem like he really wanted a child very much.

As for your case he will hopefully do the same! Say "well we weren't using protection you know." If he is shocked. I told that to OH and he was pretty much like "yeah you're right". I think after the news sinks in he will be happy!

 

[BabyDoll0077]

Congratulations WDWJess and Emicakess!
Emicakess my DH seemed a little peeved about my news but after talking with him he finally said that he was just scared of having another cm and started being over cautios with me and the things he would "let" me do ie, how much coffee to drink, he doesn't want me around my sisters whilst they're smoking, etc. But now were 12w! He couldn't be happier and talks, kisses, rubs my belly all the time and tells the baby how much he loves it and to keep growing and make me really fat lol.

 

[WDWJess]

Thanks Emi I hope you're right. I'm glad yours is being supportive. I have been hinting every month that I could be pregnant and that if I was he couldnt blame it entirely on me as I had put him in charge of contraception, which he agrees on so we'll see.

Thinking of telling him as we see the new year in but thats if our DS doesnt let slip tomorrow whilst I'm at work as when we were in the bath earlier I told him to be careful round my tummy as I have a baby in there, what was I thinking, everyone will know by next week

 

[free_spirtd]

Wish I could have found this thread a while back! I'm in this boat right now... wishy washy DH. We have had 3 cp this year from some halfsies...pull out then back in then back out during ej, and a few relaxed oopsies did I just do that? moments. But we have been using withdrawl for 8 years now and he's never been so sloppy. Since I told him about our december one, he is even more freaked.

Congrats to you girls that got your BFP recently!!! That gives me hope that maybe mine will turn around since he keeps dipping his toes in the water . Can we refresh this thread for current NTNP gals with partners in the same boat?

 

[WDWJess]

Wish I could have found this thread a while back! I'm in this boat right now... wishy washy DH. We have had 3 cp this year from some halfsies...pull out then back in then back out during ej, and a few relaxed oopsies did I just do that? moments. But we have been using withdrawl for 8 years now and he's never been so sloppy. Since I told him about our december one, he is even more freaked.

Congrats to you girls that got your BFP recently!!! That gives me hope that maybe mine will turn around since he keeps dipping his toes in the water . Can we refresh this thread for current NTNP gals with partners in the same boat?

Definitely keep your hopes up, sounds like you've got a good chance! Good luck!

 

[emicakess]

Congrats Jess and babydoll! Jess it sounds like DS may say something to DH that may sounds a little strange lol! You can't stop what comes out of kids mouths! Lol hourly he will be distracted and not think to say anything so you can tell DH yourself

Free spirit of course we can revive this thread! It meant a lot to me to talk to others in my situation when we were NTNP. It sounds like your OH is getting careless like mine did and you will get you're bfp soon

 

[free_spirtd]

Congrats Jess and babydoll! Jess it sounds like DS may say something to DH that may sounds a little strange lol! You can't stop what comes out of kids mouths! Lol hourly he will be distracted and not think to say anything so you can tell DH yourself

Free spirit of course we can revive this thread! It meant a lot to me to talk to others in my situation when we were NTNP. It sounds like your OH is getting careless like mine did and you will get you're bfp soon

Thanks Girl!! I hope so . Been wanting this for a long time, just never the right time.

I see you're in Oregon, me too!

 

[emicakess]

Woah! Another Oregon girl?! Crazy! I live in the Willamette valley area

 

[emicakess]

Another party of NTNP with a OH who is being less than careful is the excruciating TWW EVERY.MONTH. It was driving me nuts!!

 

[free_spirtd]

The worst 2ww! Luckily I have short cycles, so the wait isn't very long inbetween

Same here! Do you have the nasty fog over at your place? We've been covered in it for a couple weeks now lol

 

[wishfultaurus]

Hi ladies! Im new here and o cant agree more with any of you! My DH has been wanting a kid of his own for months, I have 2 from my previous marriage...He only brings up "hiding my pills" when I mention baby fever. lol he keeps making sly comments about me stopping the pill. I finally put my foot down and told him that i will stop taking them but wont tell him when and we can just go from there...he seemed skeptical but is also enjoying not knowing if I'm on my pills or not lol

 

[free_spirtd]

Well that is an exciting way to go!! It's great you have his support though and when the time is right, sounds like you'll know .

Welcome to BnB!!

 

[WDWJess]

Ladies just to let you know I told my DH that I was pregnant on Tuesday and although he wasn't jumping for joy he wasn't upset or angry either and was being sensible and discussing our future plans. The following morning he woke up and was so loving and affectionate and I told him I hadn't expected him to be like that with me and asked him if he was happy and he said he was extremely happy about the whole thing. It was such a relief and I am so happy he is now completely on board with it all even though he had always said he didn't want another.

So just stick with it, I believe all things happen for a reason and if it is meant to be it will happen when the time is right.

Good luck ladies xxx

 

[emicakess]

Ladies just to let you know I told my DH that I was pregnant on Tuesday and although he wasn't jumping for joy he wasn't upset or angry either and was being sensible and discussing our future plans. The following morning he woke up and was so loving and affectionate and I told him I hadn't expected him to be like that with me and asked him if he was happy and he said he was extremely happy about the whole thing. It was such a relief and I am so happy he is now completely on board with it all even though he had always said he didn't want another.

So just stick with it, I believe all things happen for a reason and if it is meant to be it will happen when the time is right.

Good luck ladies xxx

Yayyyyyy!! I'm so happy he reacted like that, I so was hoping he would. That's how my OH reacted too.

 

[misspriss]

I'll join you. DH and I are somewhere between trying to avoid and NTNP.

I have told him flat out that I am NTNP, but for his sake he isn't ready yet we will avoid my fertile times.

I'm Catholic, so we don't contracept or withdrawal or anything. If we have sex, it has to be real sex, all the way, no barriers or skipping the ending. We used to use withdrawal before I became Catholic, and I would never go back, it's so much more complete when you finish it the way it ought to be! (And much more chance of being blessed with a baby!) DH is not Catholic, but he doesn't insist on pulling out. I'm not making him keep it in there, you know? He's such a great husband.

So anyway, we use NFP to avoid, which is tough post partum, and causes some tension. Everytime we argue about it, he is all "we don't get to have sex because you are Catholic!" I just remind him that no, we could have all the sex we wanted if he wasn't so insistent upon avoiding pregnancy...

Anyway, he decided that he wanted to have sex on a "yellow" day, which we would normally avoid on. He made the conscious choice to, we talked about it and I was sure he wasn't just caught up in the heat of the moment...so that gets me thinking, perhaps he could go all out NTNP soon?

Also, I got a peak 2.5 days after that "yellow/high fertility" day...and got ovulation cramps 3.5 days later...technically your chances of getting pregnant with sex 4 days pre-o is kind of low, but 3 days pre-o are much better....So now I'm kinda TTW'ing.

But the entire point, I hope, by DH choosing to DTD on a high fertility day, that perhaps he would be open to saying screw the tests and green/yellow/red days, and just NTNP all the time and see what happens...I can only hope!

 

[WDWJess]

Ladies just to let you know I told my DH that I was pregnant on Tuesday and although he wasn't jumping for joy he wasn't upset or angry either and was being sensible and discussing our future plans. The following morning he woke up and was so loving and affectionate and I told him I hadn't expected him to be like that with me and asked him if he was happy and he said he was extremely happy about the whole thing. It was such a relief and I am so happy he is now completely on board with it all even though he had always said he didn't want another.

So just stick with it, I believe all things happen for a reason and if it is meant to be it will happen when the time is right.

Good luck ladies xxx

Yayyyyyy!! I'm so happy he reacted like that, I so was hoping he would. That's how my OH reacted too.

It's just such a relief. Busy telling everybody now and whenever we talk about it I can tell he's excited as I am. Didn't think it was possible to feel this happy knowing he is fully on board with it.

 

[WDWJess]

I'll join you. DH and I are somewhere between trying to avoid and NTNP.

I have told him flat out that I am NTNP, but for his sake he isn't ready yet we will avoid my fertile times.

I'm Catholic, so we don't contracept or withdrawal or anything. If we have sex, it has to be real sex, all the way, no barriers or skipping the ending. We used to use withdrawal before I became Catholic, and I would never go back, it's so much more complete when you finish it the way it ought to be! (And much more chance of being blessed with a baby!) DH is not Catholic, but he doesn't insist on pulling out. I'm not making him keep it in there, you know? He's such a great husband.

So anyway, we use NFP to avoid, which is tough post partum, and causes some tension. Everytime we argue about it, he is all "we don't get to have sex because you are Catholic!" I just remind him that no, we could have all the sex we wanted if he wasn't so insistent upon avoiding pregnancy...

Anyway, he decided that he wanted to have sex on a "yellow" day, which we would normally avoid on. He made the conscious choice to, we talked about it and I was sure he wasn't just caught up in the heat of the moment...so that gets me thinking, perhaps he could go all out NTNP soon?

Also, I got a peak 2.5 days after that "yellow/high fertility" day...and got ovulation cramps 3.5 days later...technically your chances of getting pregnant with sex 4 days pre-o is kind of low, but 3 days pre-o are much better....So now I'm kinda TTW'ing.

But the entire point, I hope, by DH choosing to DTD on a high fertility day, that perhaps he would be open to saying screw the tests and green/yellow/red days, and just NTNP all the time and see what happens...I can only hope!

Hope you get your BFP at the end of this 2 week wait, if not I hope your DH comes round to the idea of fully NTNP.

Why do men have to be so complicated!

Good luck x

 

[misspriss]

I'll join you. DH and I are somewhere between trying to avoid and NTNP.

I have told him flat out that I am NTNP, but for his sake he isn't ready yet we will avoid my fertile times.

I'm Catholic, so we don't contracept or withdrawal or anything. If we have sex, it has to be real sex, all the way, no barriers or skipping the ending. We used to use withdrawal before I became Catholic, and I would never go back, it's so much more complete when you finish it the way it ought to be! (And much more chance of being blessed with a baby!) DH is not Catholic, but he doesn't insist on pulling out. I'm not making him keep it in there, you know? He's such a great husband.

So anyway, we use NFP to avoid, which is tough post partum, and causes some tension. Everytime we argue about it, he is all "we don't get to have sex because you are Catholic!" I just remind him that no, we could have all the sex we wanted if he wasn't so insistent upon avoiding pregnancy...

Anyway, he decided that he wanted to have sex on a "yellow" day, which we would normally avoid on. He made the conscious choice to, we talked about it and I was sure he wasn't just caught up in the heat of the moment...so that gets me thinking, perhaps he could go all out NTNP soon?

Also, I got a peak 2.5 days after that "yellow/high fertility" day...and got ovulation cramps 3.5 days later...technically your chances of getting pregnant with sex 4 days pre-o is kind of low, but 3 days pre-o are much better....So now I'm kinda TTW'ing.

But the entire point, I hope, by DH choosing to DTD on a high fertility day, that perhaps he would be open to saying screw the tests and green/yellow/red days, and just NTNP all the time and see what happens...I can only hope!

Hope you get your BFP at the end of this 2 week wait, if not I hope your DH comes round to the idea of fully NTNP.

Why do men have to be so complicated!

Good luck x

Thanks and congratulations yourself!

I really don't know why he has to be so complex about this, he's not really a complicated guy normally!

 

[sausages]

Hey all! Massive congratulations to the girls who are pregnant. I'm so over the moon for you! I've been MIA for a while cause DH is still the same. Still says he doesn't want anymore, but then says maybe he is ready to give in (like i need that guilt, that i made him cave!) Most of the time he pulls out, but then now and again, every other month or so he doesn't for some reason. Just once this time, and probably about 2 days before O.

0I guess i'm in the 2ww again. I'm getting tired of this though now. We have been using POM for 3 years and i have wanted to get pregnant for the last 2. All this trying to guess what he is really feeling, wondering if he will change his mind, feeling guilty because i don't want to force him, but i just want it SO MUCH. All the accidental two week waits and the BFN's and the serious talks that get us nowhere. I'm just tired of it. But if i give up, then there's no hope left and that's worse.

What's going to happen? Will i just carry on hoping month after month after month until my cycles stop?! I'm 34 this year. My mum started the menopause at 42. I don't want to do this for another 8 years, but how do i get over it?