Anyone else not like getting gifts for baby?

[Kirstiedenman]

Lol sounds a bit random! But I don't like getting gifts for baby. I am quite a picky person and alot of the stuff I was bought last time I didn't like and hated that I felt obliged to put them in my baby so they were seen in them lol. I also got bought double of soooo many things it was just more storage for me. I know this comes across as very ungrateful but it's just how i feel. I also really don't like all those slogan tops and boy did I get loads of them last time and dh family are obsessed with things like that. I have already told everyone not to buy is anything for baby because having 2 kids we won't have the room in the car this time to take it all home with us but my dh mum has already said she doesn't care she is going to be buying this baby just as much and this women is a shopaholic!!!!! Anyone else not looking forward to getting all those unwanted presents again??? Lol reading this I sound like such a bitch but I promise I'm not I just hate people wasting there money as well as me having to store unwanted gifts.

 

[MelliPaige]

My mom bought me 5 bags of clothes at 4 weeks, all boys. They are so ugly I was hoping I was having a girl so I didn't have to use them lol

 

[Princess Lou]

I also don't like getting gifts for Little Man but for different reasons.

1) I have a serious inability to hide my feelings so if I open the gift in front of someone, they will know if I don't like it and it will hurt their feelings.
2) I'm really particular about what I want for my Little Man and what I want him to wear so if it doesn't tie in with this, then he won't wear it. (Not talking about everything having to be from specific places, but I don't want him in specific items.)
3) I feel very uncomfortable when people give me things and want nothing in return. I am happy to give gifts, just not happy receiving them. I always feel awkward and that I SHOULD give something back.

Thankfully, so far, the only people that have given me things are my Dad which was money for the pram I wanted, my FIL which was money for the nappies I wanted (felt weird with this but hubby was speaking to him about it) and my sister who knows exactly what I want and what I'm like.

 

[harley81]

Me too. I thought I was the only one. I sound really ungrateful, but we tried so long for this bub (and had fertility treatment including ivf) so I have had a long time to think about stuff I'd like if I ever had a baby. I'd picked out EVERYTHING, and now oh's family keep buying things without asking if I have a preference. I know it sounds harsh, but its not even small things, they got a play gym which is really generous, but I'd had my heart set on the fisher price jungle one. And they buy clothes like jeans, which I really don't like on babies, I prefer cute baby things as I think they are babies for such a short time it's nice to dress them like that rather than as mini adults (that's just my personal preference). Phew, feel better after that rant! Hubby is rubbish as he just says its nice of them and I should be grateful (which I am for the sentiment, just not the choice of gift!)

 

[Kirstiedenman]

Exactly my point! I have a particular style I like to dress my kids and now that my son is older I like dressing him in cute jeans and cargos and things and mil just buys tons and tons of trackies!!!!
I also have specific themes for the boys bedrooms and she keeps trying to buy me nursery sets but I have the lambs and ivy one in particular I want but she just keeps trying to suggest what she likes. I was quite lucky with my side if the fAnily they either gave me money or said for example I want to buy a play gym is there one you have picked out which was great then I got a gift I really liked! But I am very grateful for there thought of buying something.

 

[Amygdala]

I felt awkward about this in the beginning with baby1 but then learned to get over it and just exchange things. I'm polite and I thank people of course. But especially if it's a gift from someone who doesn't see baby regularly, I have no trouble taking something back for something else we can actually use. That said, I've only ever had this problem with clothes and the odd toy, never big items. I guess if someone tried to buy me a pram I didn't like or something similar, I'd thank them very much for the offer but say that actually, we just ordered ours (then go and buy one asap). That way, they can keep their money and I don't have to feel guilty about disliking such a generous gift.

 

[Toms Mummy]

Is it really awful that I only don't like gifts from MIL?..... The main reason for this is that she too doesn't understand the certain style I like for Tom, and I know when this little girl comes a long I am going to end up with some horrible pink stuff

It also bothers me that I ask her time and time again not to go overboard, but she always does!.... Last christmas I said please only narrow it to 3 presents as we can't take it all in the car and our house is too small! (She knows this!)... but when we get there, there's about 30 presents!!! I question it and she says that she chose to do 3 categories instead! wtf

Problem is, she's a shopaholic and just doesn't seem to understand the value of money, and what it actually means to us!..... We're struggling to pay the mot and she's buying Tom crap!

 

[jesssika]

Omg I thought I was the only one! As this is my first especially, I want to pick everything,
I have my style, and I'm also an uber control freak. My MIL has given us and bought so much crap, more than you need for one baby... I'm talking so much I really wouldn't have to buy anything myself for my child. It really pissed me off, also considering she didn't ask, she also bought nursery decorations. I WANT TO DO TO DAMN NURSERY WOMAN! If she wants to do it, she can bloody well have another baby can't she! I appreciate the thought and all and I told her thank you, but honestly we won't use any of it and as bad as a feel about that, at the same time it's not really my fault she didn't think to ask what we needed/wanted before buying a whole heap of stuff! It's honestly a very sticky situation!

 

[Jamie_lee_c_]

Ah I'm feeling exactly the same. All my family are buying me things I like/need, or even using there common sense.
My Ohs mum however is on a different scale, we get on so well and always have, we go shopping, for tea etc but she has no clue when it comes to shopping for baby!!
We have done our nursery in all pastels I have used the daisy lane set from mothercare, the walls are white blue and pink and furniture is white. Well she buys this bright purple, penguin (?) blanket booty and comforter set, and says the blanket could hang on the wall until the time comes to use it...NO!
Then buys this sleeper suit set, with a yellow vest and little white leggings. with lemons on the feet, oh and a lemon hat, not the colour.. The fruit. So now my child has to look like a lemon for the day, and because (it was so cute!?!?!?) she bought it in 0-3 3-6 and 6-9!!!!
She has also bought a dress, for when she is 2.. Years old! I get that she is excited and I just keep ahhhing all the stuff but it really isn't any nice! Bad bad DIL x

 

[m.knight]

We've set up a bank account for baby, in my name at the moment, and have said if anyone wants to get us anything, instead of presents just put on money in there for when our child is an adult. The same will go for birthdays and Christmases: small token presents from smiley, we will do big presents so we an monitor what they play with, and anything else can go into the account.

 

[Toms Mummy]

We've set up a bank account for baby, in my name at the moment, and have said if anyone wants to get us anything, instead of presents just put on money in there for when our child is an adult. The same will go for birthdays and Christmases: small token presents from smiley, we will do big presents so we an monitor what they play with, and anything else can go into the account.

We tried this but MIL still buys LO crap!

 

[Amygdala]

We've set up a bank account for baby, in my name at the moment, and have said if anyone wants to get us anything, instead of presents just put on money in there for when our child is an adult. The same will go for birthdays and Christmases: small token presents from smiley, we will do big presents so we an monitor what they play with, and anything else can go into the account.

We tried this but MIL still buys LO crap!

Some people are near impossible to stop. We've made it very clear that we have a one present rule for birthdays and christmas, ie every set of grandparents, aunts, uncles etc buys ONE gift only. That still makes a heap of presents, especially for a young child. Christmas especially turns into this half-hour long unwrapping frenzy and it's actually really stressful! Wrapping paper everywhere and mountains of random gifts. I get that they want to "spoil" LO, but in my eyes, it really does spoil them. All those little plasticky things that get bought to bulk up the gift bags aren't interesting for more than 5 seconds, they clog up the house and bury the nice, high quality toys LO has. It really bugs me. How is LO meant to learn to treasure and look after things if she's literally buried in toys. I'd so much rather they gave her money for her account or spent the same amount on one high quality toy or spent the same amount of time looking for a really nice book. Plus, call me cynical, but buying a million presents, apparently just for the sake of it, to me looks a lot like trying to buy LO's love.
Anyway, rant over, all I really wanted to say was that we've repeated this rule every birthday and christmas so far and it's constantly broken by a certain set of relatives and then brushed away with "oh, don't worry about it". SO frustrating.

 

[Toms Mummy]

We've set up a bank account for baby, in my name at the moment, and have said if anyone wants to get us anything, instead of presents just put on money in there for when our child is an adult. The same will go for birthdays and Christmases: small token presents from smiley, we will do big presents so we an monitor what they play with, and anything else can go into the account.

We tried this but MIL still buys LO crap!

Some people are near impossible to stop. We've made it very clear that we have a one present rule for birthdays and christmas, ie every set of grandparents, aunts, uncles etc buys ONE gift only. That still makes a heap of presents, especially for a young child. Christmas especially turns into this half-hour long unwrapping frenzy and it's actually really stressful! Wrapping paper everywhere and mountains of random gifts. I get that they want to "spoil" LO, but in my eyes, it really does spoil them. All those little plasticky things that get bought to bulk up the gift bags aren't interesting for more than 5 seconds, they clog up the house and bury the nice, high quality toys LO has. It really bugs me. How is LO meant to learn to treasure and look after things if she's literally buried in toys. I'd so much rather they gave her money for her account or spent the same amount on one high quality toy or spent the same amount of time looking for a really nice book. Plus, call me cynical, but buying a million presents, apparently just for the sake of it, to me looks a lot like trying to buy LO's love.
Anyway, rant over, all I really wanted to say was that we've repeated this rule every birthday and christmas so far and it's constantly broken by a certain set of relatives and then brushed away with "oh, don't worry about it". SO frustrating.

Right there with ya!

It is namely only one or two relatives that do this but it is too much! I hate the fact that they don't listen to me!... They keep twisting it round saying that oh it wasn't too expensive, but it's not the amount that they're spending that annoys me, it's the quantity of presents! If it keeps happening year after year then LO is going to expect it, therefore they are creating a spoilt child!..... It also takes the limelight off what we as parents have got him, which is usually something very thought out! This year we're not actually buying him anything for his birthday (in a couple of weeks) as I know MIL has once again gone over the top! So we are taking him away for a couple of days instead .... I am going to try and try to keep my foot down once I've put it down at christmas time! Especially as our daughter will be here by then!

 

[Amygdala]

Haha, Tom's Mummy, it's scary how similar we are in that respect! The number of times I've heard "oh, don't worry about it, it wasn't too much". Argh!

 

[Kirstiedenman]

Is it really awful that I only don't like gifts from MIL?..... The main reason for this is that she too doesn't understand the certain style I like for Tom, and I know when this little girl comes a long I am going to end up with some horrible pink stuff

It also bothers me that I ask her time and time again not to go overboard, but she always does!.... Last christmas I said please only narrow it to 3 presents as we can't take it all in the car and our house is too small! (She knows this!)... but when we get there, there's about 30 presents!!! I question it and she says that she chose to do 3 categories instead! wtf

Problem is, she's a shopaholic and just doesn't seem to understand the value of money, and what it actually means to us!..... We're struggling to pay the mot and she's buying Tom crap!

I seriously could have wrote this about my mil!!! I tell her all the time what I do and don't like and she buys the things I say I don't like and like way to much in excess! He is that bad that she even goes that over board as to buy the same thing in 2 and 3 different sizes!!! It infuriates me. In the last 2 weeks she has bought ds about 7 pairs of trackies when I told her I told really like to dress him in trackies I prefer jeans and cargos so the me t day went out and bought 4 pairs and its just turned to a really hot spring here so he won't even get any wear out of them lol. I have already told her not to buy anything for this baby over the top because its another boy so I have plenty of clothes and he is due 4 days before my ds was born so the same sizing for season I will have for him and she said oh I will just send it all over in boxes if you can't fit it in the car lol it's lovely they like to be so generous but sometimes over the top is just that over the top and unnecessary!

 

[Toms Mummy]

Is it really awful that I only don't like gifts from MIL?..... The main reason for this is that she too doesn't understand the certain style I like for Tom, and I know when this little girl comes a long I am going to end up with some horrible pink stuff

It also bothers me that I ask her time and time again not to go overboard, but she always does!.... Last christmas I said please only narrow it to 3 presents as we can't take it all in the car and our house is too small! (She knows this!)... but when we get there, there's about 30 presents!!! I question it and she says that she chose to do 3 categories instead! wtf

Problem is, she's a shopaholic and just doesn't seem to understand the value of money, and what it actually means to us!..... We're struggling to pay the mot and she's buying Tom crap!

I seriously could have wrote this about my mil!!! I tell her all the time what I do and don't like and she buys the things I say I don't like and like way to much in excess! He is that bad that she even goes that over board as to buy the same thing in 2 and 3 different sizes!!! It infuriates me. In the last 2 weeks she has bought ds about 7 pairs of trackies when I told her I told really like to dress him in trackies I prefer jeans and cargos so the me t day went out and bought 4 pairs and its just turned to a really hot spring here so he won't even get any wear out of them lol. I have already told her not to buy anything for this baby over the top because its another boy so I have plenty of clothes and he is due 4 days before my ds was born so the same sizing for season I will have for him and she said oh I will just send it all over in boxes if you can't fit it in the car lol it's lovely they like to be so generous but sometimes over the top is just that over the top and unnecessary!

Oh dear! When will they listen!.... LO is in to the avengers atm, so MIL bought Tom a small hulk and iron man figures the last time she was here, about 2 months ago which was really nice of her and Tom loves them, playing with them all the time. But now, ever since then we have been inundated through the post with hulk & iron man clothing & bedding which is just too much bleah! And for his birthday next week she has bought him 2 more hulk and iron man action figures but a little bit bigger, plus an extra hulk figure as it did something different!.... So that's 3 hulks! Marketing buffs love her!

I know what you mean about not actually 'getting it' when we say there's no room in the car!... That actually means we don't want the stuff, not ooh send it in the post!.... Sometimes the postage costs more than what she's sending

I sound really ungrateful, I'm not! I do ask her in the nicest way possible, and I am really grateful for the fact that she likes to spoil LO but it's not her that has to live with all this stuff in a small 2bed house!

 

[sojourn]

Oh man. I am so grateful that my husband's family is small, unstable and mostly far away!
We are really lucky, so far most of the gifts we have gotten have been hand-me-downs from my husband's boss and my oldest brother. They both asked if we were interested and said we were more than welcome to toss/donate anything else that we weren't interested in.
My bio-mom and I have very similar taste, so she bought a couple things for the nursery (after texting me pictures for my approval, or taking me shopping).

I know I will get frustrated once my mom and grandma start. They are totally bonkers and they DO NOT have the same taste as me. Especially if it's a girl. My mom has long longed for a "real" daughter (I was a tom-boy and she hated that) and she will 100% go nuts on frilly pink things that will make me puke.

I don't even want to think about Christmas and birthdays! LOL. They'll be so excited! The plan I have (so far) is to have my kids go through their toys right before Christmas/birthdays to pick half to donate to other kids who might want them. I hope that eases the blow when the gifts start rolling in. My parents are really good about asking about what kids want/need for Christmas and birthdays and not over-shadowing what parents get. I'll probably talk to them about what the kids want, tell them what we're getting and do that. Plus mom and dad presents will be given either before or after party/Christmas do in private.

Hopefully that does the trick!