Anyone else now trying again STRAIGHT after a mc? NTNP?

[Emum]

Hi Clobo, Emum, Loz!
Emum I am the worst possible person to advise on 2ww given my recent history.
But if I had any spare cash (which I don't) I would have gone shopping, arranged days out with friends and gone for massages and facials. I have booked myself a facial and a pedicure at the spa I work at next week as I get them for free, just to give myself a bit of a break, even though it's a busmans holiday.

Not a bad idea though Mrs Miggins. I am overdue some routine maintenance on the leg waxing, eyebrow shaping, etc front, so the next few days would not be a bad time to get that in. I might steer clear of massage and facials just to be on safe side with essential oils, as I don't want to jinx things by telling therapist I might be pg when on past evidence, I probably am not

Just occured to me that as I am on my PC today, not my phone I could post a pic too. I am hardly ever at the other side of a camera so this one was taken a couple of years ago. The little girl is DD, but she is a few years older now, and has her two front teeth now

 

[pinksmarties]

MRsmig - I am sorry you feel so down, its horrible the 2ww and especially after the good symptoms your had. Has AF fully arrived yet? Sending lots of hugs I know how it is hard feeling the time going. I'll be 40 in two years time and you know how I feel about my age! I am getting tests after 2 mc because of my age, do you not want tests just now or are you having to wait for requisite 3?

As for temping - Im with Dodger, I find it give me a measure of control and allows to see what my cycle is up to. However, I'll admit that this cycle has been more relaxed as I am not actively tcc (despite my pre-ov dilemma and I still temp'd and opk'd) and has helped my get my head around things more. That may all change next month though! I would do what you suggest, another month temping and see after that, but then hopefully you'll not need to anyway!!

Ickle - can't believe your run of high have ended. I really hope you have ov'd and the cbfm just hasn't picked it up. I can imagine how frustrated you must feel not knowing what happened and when Af might arrive.

Loz - hope you are okay. Sorry that you had more nightmares, it's very scary. I hope they weren't pg related. I had very strange dreams last night and I had the stones under my pillow. The nicest mw I had has been much younger than me (I am assuming she doesn't have children) and she was so lovely, caring and understanding. It has been the older ones that have not been great. I work with a lot of older patients with specific problems (that I don't have) and I have a very good rapport with them and frequently get lots of praise (don't want to sound like I am blowing my trumpet but just to explain) for making them feel at ease and giving advice. It is all about individuals, some of my 'older' colleagues would not be as good.

Dodger - yay for hpt's getting lighter. Not sure about ewcm with spotting, can't really help you there.

Hi emum, clobo and all the other ladies.

 

[pinksmarties]

Fab pic emum!! Wow, we are thread of gorgeous ladies!!

As for the 2ww I am going skiing but I don't think that counts as a something to do as a distraction for you!! Mrsm suggestions sound wonderful thought. I'll be using my Beauty room voucher when I get home as I'll probably need a massage. Have you considered acupuncture, I am not sure if you have said you've done that before or not sorry.

 

[Emum]

I think I am the old lady of the thread! I am 42 already (gulp). Had my last successful pregnancy when I was 40 (he was born just before I turned 41) so 38/39 is still possible.

I agree about older midwives and health visitors by the way. I don't like the really young ones, but would much prefer one in their late twenties or thirties to one over forty, who have definitely forgotten what the whole process is like from the user end, and tend to be patronising and not very helpful or sympathetic in my personal experience. My first exposure to an older one was when I had just brought my first baby home from hospital, and was told by her that I was a wimp basically for having a planned c section, when my baby had been scanned and shown to be a footling breach with the cord wrapped round his foot, so could not have been delivered vaginally without compressing the cord and either killing him or causing him to be seriously disabled

 

[pinksmarties]

omg emum that's just so bad!! I can't believe some mw are that insensitive.The older mw's I have met (community mw and one in epu) I look to me have been late 40's/early 50's. The mw I saw from my first scan in epu looked around 25ish and she was soo lovely.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Emum what a lovely picture! I can't believe the midwife said that to you either. I must admit the only horrible midwife I have come across was on the maternity ward on the night watch when I had Edie. She shouted at me for something or other then when I was struggling to breast feed she shouted at me for not buzzing her. I didn't dare! The others were lovely though, and one was only in her 20's but she helped me loads with feeding.
The midwife who delivered Edie was smashing. I was super lucky and had a very easy birth so it was a pleasant experience all round, but after Edie was born she told us she was newly qualified and Edie was the first baby she had delivered as a qualified midwife. I was really pleased we were her first as she was so sweet (she was in her 40's I'd say) and I sent her a thank you card with a photograph of her holding Edie as a keepsake.
Pink, they haven't offered me the tests, I think because I have had a healthy pregnancy. Although I must admit I haven't pushed for them. Maybe I should?

 

[Lozdi]

I think I am the old lady of the thread! I am 42 already (gulp). Had my last successful pregnancy when I was 40 (he was born just before I turned 41) so 38/39 is still possible.

I agree about older midwives and health visitors by the way. I don't like the really young ones, but would much prefer one in their late twenties or thirties to one over forty, who have definitely forgotten what the whole process is like from the user end, and tend to be patronising and not very helpful or sympathetic in my personal experience. My first exposure to an older one was when I had just brought my first baby home from hospital, and was told by her that I was a wimp basically for having a planned c section, when my baby had been scanned and shown to be a footling breach with the cord wrapped round his foot, so could not have been delivered vaginally without compressing the cord and either killing him or causing him to be seriously disabled

Thats awful! Fancy being told that after just going through something so scary, what a horrid woman! As for age my mum had my youngest brother at 40, and didn't go through the change til she was 47.

The midwives in nottingham literally don't have the clout to refer patients for early scans, unless its just mine who isn't allowed lol its gp referral only, or epau discretion. Obviously if presenting with certain syptoms it could be arranged fast but would still have to go through epau or gp. Honestly I get the impression that the midwives have no say at all and are just there to do the checkups and bloods. 13 days to go until scan. I'm quietly terrified but trying not to let it get to me.

Thanks Pink no it wasn't pregnancy related it was worse actually, I dreamed that most of my family was on life support except me and I was fighting to stop bad people from turning the machines off. Very unrealistic and only scary really whilst having the actual dream and a few moments of 'what on earth...' after waking. It may have bugged me for longer but OH was being super sweet and loving and the nightmare faded. I decided that nightmares can bugger off, they don't scare me half as much as real life!

I don't have any useful 2ww tips, I tested from 5dpo for experimental purposes but it only takes a minute to POAS and I spent alot of time looking at 2ww symptoms out of pure curiosity. I bet skiing is an excellent distraction but not one doable on a regular basis.

Dodger what are your numbes at now did you get the results yet?

 

[Lozdi]

Emum what a lovely picture! I can't believe the midwife said that to you either. I must admit the only horrible midwife I have come across was on the maternity ward on the night watch when I had Edie. She shouted at me for something or other then when I was struggling to breast feed she shouted at me for not buzzing her. I didn't dare! The others were lovely though, and one was only in her 20's but she helped me loads with feeding.
The midwife who delivered Edie was smashing. I was super lucky and had a very easy birth so it was a pleasant experience all round, but after Edie was born she told us she was newly qualified and Edie was the first baby she had delivered as a qualified midwife. I was really pleased we were her first as she was so sweet (she was in her 40's I'd say) and I sent her a thank you card with a photograph of her holding Edie as a keepsake.
Pink, they haven't offered me the tests, I think because I have had a healthy pregnancy. Although I must admit I haven't pushed for them. Maybe I should?

My first birth would have been classed as easy if I hadn't gone into labour at 9 pm and thus through the night lol, it was uncomplicated, but so tiring I can't even remember the midwife. They did initially tell me to go home as I was only 3 cm dilated but I said nope, I'll be fully dilated soon, I have raspberry leaf tea! 2 hours later at 9 cm dilated they ate their words. Second birth was amazing- got to hospital, staggered onto maternity, was shown into a room, the bed was at chest height. They offered to lower it I said nope thats perfect, hung on and out shot my youngest! From arrival at hosp to actual birth was 17 minutes....then we had to wait 6 hours to be told we were ok to go home. Wasn't in there long enough to even remember my midwives faces lol they just had to catch my son quick and were so unprepared for the speed I was handed him and had to stand there with him cord still attached, while they caught up! Might have a home birth this time, provided I get that far. Taking nothing for granted.

Do you feel as though you should have some testing done?

 

[pichi]

see my birth ended up in an emergency c-section because someone turned around when my waters went O_O so i kinda dread what the next one will be like

 

[Hope39]

Loz i would have totally freaked if i was that close to givin birth from arriving at the hospital.

What does raspberry leaf tea do, help you dilate quicker? I'll be taking that tip with me if it does when i finally carry a pregnancy to full term

Afm, i am just about over the shock of seeing my step son splattered over the Sun Newspaper:- "Take me Out Sex Party Scandal". I am seeing the funny side as it is the sun newspaper and majority of it is made up

If you havent seen it then my step son went on Paddy McGuinnes Take Me Out show and his will be aired on 21st Jan. Anyway, last week all the contestants hired a mansion for a bit of a party, my step son was snogging a girl and somehow the sun have got hold of the picture and published it. he is also in another photo with a group of people. So out of the 90 people that went, he manages to get in two of the photo's that The Sun have got

I hope the sun don't try and find any dirt on the parents or parents partners, i bit nervous about that one as i unfortunaely have a criminal record! My mum doesn't know about it and my partners parents dont either. I don't class myself as a criminal so don't get the wrong impression, i was just a bit naughty 4 or 5 years ago, that long ago i forget about it most of the time, lol

 

[Lozdi]

see my birth ended up in an emergency c-section because someone turned around when my waters went O_O so i kinda dread what the next one will be like

Well as far as I kow I think they prefer you not to have a vaginal birth after you have had a c sec but I'm not 100% on that- however if you do need another c sec then it will be planned and not half as frightening as an emergency one.

 

[Emum]

I think the reverse is true Lozdi. They would prefer you try for a vbac unless there is a good reason why not, as every c section weakens your uterus, and there is an upper limit to the number of c sections you can have. I know my second was a vbac and the possibility of another elective c section wasnt even discussed. With my third, even though I had complications with my second, it was again assumed he would be a vbac but fortunately he was another breach baby so I got the elective I wanted.

 

[pichi]

i would prefer to go for a Vbac but strangely enough i'm scared i won't get one. the hospital was crap with me though - well not all of it but one unit - told me i wasn't in labor because i didn't look in pain!

i had a TENs machine on and when they finally checked (2 days later!) i was at 8cm but baby was breach >__<

 

[MrsMM24]

Hi Ladies :wave: Just wanting to check on on everyone.


MRS MIGG so sorry that AF has flown in on you....


EMUM nice pic! Hoping you have a BFP around the corner!


AFM... Still no AF... Donations in 3 days. Hoping I have a chance whether I get AF or not... I have been reading about studies of women being fertile on CD1 and CD4 so I think that I am going to try to be one of them. I also have been wondering, before the MC my cycles were "long" but what I called irregularly regular.(read in journal) I had AF every other month since getting af but had confirmed ov every month.... hmmm, I'm grabbing at all types of straws.

 

[Emum]

i would prefer to go for a Vbac but strangely enough i'm scared i won't get one. the hospital was crap with me though - well not all of it but one unit - told me i wasn't in labor because i didn't look in pain!

i had a TENs machine on and when they finally checked (2 days later!) i was at 8cm but baby was breach >__<

As you live in the UK, legally you cannot be refused a vbac though unless you are mentally incompetent to make the decision, and the baby will suffer harm if not delivered by c section. One of the advantages of living in a free country - they aren't allowed to hold you down and cut you open without your consent

To perform a c section where the patient has specifically refused her consent, they would need to make an application to the court (can be done as an emergency by phone but you still have a right to make representations) and get a court order. The situation is slightly different if you are unable to either give or withhold consent, but I assume if you were unconscious and unable to express an opinion, you'd want them to get the baby out by c section, so not really relevant to this discussion.

(I was a lawyer before I had children )

 

[Lozdi]

Loz i would have totally freaked if i was that close to givin birth from arriving at the hospital.

What does raspberry leaf tea do, help you dilate quicker? I'll be taking that tip with me if it does when i finally carry a pregnancy to full term

Afm, i am just about over the shock of seeing my step son splattered over the Sun Newspaper:- "Take me Out Sex Party Scandal". I am seeing the funny side as it is the sun newspaper and majority of it is made up

If you havent seen it then my step son went on Paddy McGuinnes Take Me Out show and his will be aired on 21st Jan. Anyway, last week all the contestants hired a mansion for a bit of a party, my step son was snogging a girl and somehow the sun have got hold of the picture and published it. he is also in another photo with a group of people. So out of the 90 people that went, he manages to get in two of the photo's that The Sun have got

I hope the sun don't try and find any dirt on the parents or parents partners, i bit nervous about that one as i unfortunaely have a criminal record! My mum doesn't know about it and my partners parents dont either. I don't class myself as a criminal so don't get the wrong impression, i was just a bit naughty 4 or 5 years ago, that long ago i forget about it most of the time, lol

It did go much faster than I expected, but it was really funny if I'm honest. It didn't hurt either, as he was small at 7lb compared to the first who was a 10 hour labour and 8lb 12! Raspberry leaf tea is wonderful for the uterus, its strengthens contractions alot. You can drink it from 38 weeks onwards (some say 36 but personally I'd say 38) I actually didn't drink it until I was in labour with the first, and once I did start it my contractions were ridiculously strong. I believe I would have been in there much longer without its help, and by the end I was so tired they almost had to 'bring in the doctor with instruments' that freaked me and son was out with the very next extremely determined push. I used raspberry leaf tea during my medical for the MMC too. There was no time and no need for it when my youngest made his swift exit!

Your step son is in a scandal!? Blimey! I know what you mean about the sun though they focus more on the drama than the actual facts. I had a weird dream once where I was collecting sun newspapers and beating them up with a baseball bat! I watch that show sometimes, I wouldn't worry about them digging too much if I were you- as its a legit show and does center around fixing people up then snogging isn't really very scandalous. They'l be too busy exagerating their next scandal to focus on relatives of people in take me out.

 

[Lozdi]

I think the reverse is true Lozdi. They would prefer you try for a vbac unless there is a good reason why not, as every c section weakens your uterus, and there is an upper limit to the number of c sections you can have. I know my second was a vbac and the possibility of another elective c section wasnt even discussed. With my third, even though I had complications with my second, it was again assumed he would be a vbac but fortunately he was another breach baby so I got the elective I wanted.

I think I will stop googling. Every second thing I read turns out to be bull as you keep pointing out to me. I hereby give up on repeating anything I have read. I'm going lurking only for a while theres only so much being wrong I can take before I start to feel stupid.

 

[Emum]

Sorry didn't mean to suggest you were stupid . Just posting what I knew about the question based on my own experience and that of friends over the years. Are you reading UK sites only, as practices may be different in other countries?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

My friend from post natal who had her second baby in November had a c section with her first baby and was adamant she wanted another section. The consultants tried to talk her into a vbac but she pushed and pushed (or rather she didn't :-D ) and they let her have another section.
Hope - sorry that did make me giggle! I shall look out for your stepson, I love that programme.
Mrs MM as always I shall be rooting for you!
Loz, my birth sounds similar to yours in that I got there and they told me I was only 2cm and to go home. I live an hour away from the hospital and should have stayed but I didn't know how quickly things would Progress. They shouldn't have sent me home as I had group b strep and needed antibiotics, but anyway I went home, had something to eat, got in the bath, waters broke, threw up, mark had to dress me and get me back in the car, an incredibly uncomfortable hour in the car and a sticky moment where I feared my child was to be brought into the world in a Saab in Hull city centre made it puffing and panting back to the ward. Had to wait while they hooked me up to the antibiotics (waste of time, too late), gas and air and one push and I had a daughter. The lack of antibiotics meant we had to stay in 3 days as Edie had to have them to protect her against the strep b.
But I had gallons of raspberry leaf tea too, and loads of clary sage baths and I think that helped with the super speedy efficient contractions.
If there is a next time however I will not be sent home. Spending 3 hours in a car was not on my birth plan. I may as well have said I wanted to give birth in Manchester !

 

[sarah_anne]

Hi ladies

Aw Fili, i second what everyone else has said that Im so sorry but that now that horrid waiting is over and if you are having the medical management then hopefully things wont take too long to be over. Massive hugs chick.

After I had my mc i couldnt be with pregnant people, the amount of things i missed out on because most of my friends were preggo at the time ... also my sister in law who never really wanted babies and got pregnant but suprise last autumn, i havent been able to talk to her or get excited for her and I felt awful but we have to look after ourselves, there is nothing wrong with being jealous and upset. I always find I can be happy for people when they have struggled though as I know they really appreciate what they have got!

Sarah, excellent news on the lovely midwife and erly scan, wonder if it will be in a row with me and Loz??!! 14 days till mine now!!

Big hugs to all you ladies

xxxx

Thanks Clobo! I think it was Louby who wrote about the midwife though! We don't really have midwives in Canada. We just have obstetricians. I do have my first prenatal appointment today though and I have a scan in 7 days!