Anyone else unable to watch OBEM after a bad birth experience?

[Jenniflower]

OBEM last night made me really sad when all the ladies were handed their newborn babies.
I never got to experience this 'cause I was under general anaesthetic for my emergency section & it makes me sad that I wasn't there for my girl when she was first born and I missed out on that. I know its very soon but I could also never imagine having another baby 'cause the whole thing was just horrible
Silly probably!

Not silly at all beth. I feel exactly the same way as you. This weeks episode really had me crying and and re living through my birth again. It caused me to have to take sleeping pills again because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm the same as you, I had to have general and missed the most crucial first hours of her life There are pictures hubby took of her getting weighed and checked over and then cuddled by him, my MiL and sister all while I was still under. Then I missed her first nappy change, her first bath was more like a dream as I was still really drugged up. The first cuddle I had with her I have a picture of and I"m not even smiling because she didn't feel like my child. It's like they thrust her at me but I had no idea who she was.

Anyways, sorry got a bit ranty, the point is I don't think it's silly at all. I went from wanting at least 4-6 kids to most likely having only one now unless adoption becomes an option. Even though people tell me a planned section is easier than an emergency there's still no way I could conscientiously go through that again. As I watch the women go through their sections on the show I can still remember feeling every part of it. Last night when they showed the girl getting her Epi I actually started to panic because I can still remember the tickling, sick like feeling of the tube going up my spine.

I try to watch the show though because I think it's probably good healing to have to deal with all these emotions. It does really upset me though.

 

[bethanchloe]

Not silly at all beth. I feel exactly the same way as you. This weeks episode really had me crying and and re living through my birth again. It caused me to have to take sleeping pills again because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm the same as you, I had to have general and missed the most crucial first hours of her life There are pictures hubby took of her getting weighed and checked over and then cuddled by him, my MiL and sister all while I was still under. Then I missed her first nappy change, her first bath was more like a dream as I was still really drugged up. The first cuddle I had with her I have a picture of and I"m not even smiling because she didn't feel like my child. It's like they thrust her at me but I had no idea who she was.

Anyways, sorry got a bit ranty, the point is I don't think it's silly at all. I went from wanting at least 4-6 kids to most likely having only one now unless adoption becomes an option. Even though people tell me a planned section is easier than an emergency there's still no way I could conscientiously go through that again. As I watch the women go through their sections on the show I can still remember feeling every part of it. Last night when they showed the girl getting her Epi I actually started to panic because I can still remember the tickling, sick like feeling of the tube going up my spine.

I try to watch the show though because I think it's probably good healing to have to deal with all these emotions. It does really upset me though.

Thanks for replying
I know exactly what you mean. Nothing (at the moment) could make me ever do that again. I could not have another section planned or otherwise because if I was to have another child I'd want to be conscious as they were being born and this couldn't be so.
Tis horrible to even try and relive/remember it and it makes me feel really really sad . Silly really 'cause my baby is here and I should just be ecstatic about that x

 

[SBB]

Aw girls your babies are still so new and it's not surprising it's still raw... Give yourselves a bit of time to recover and maybe speak to the trained midwife to go through it all and that might help.
It's surprising how quickly I went from panic attacks and flashbacks to considering having another one pretty quickly!

X x x

 

[Jenniflower]

Aw girls your babies are still so new and it's not surprising it's still raw... Give yourselves a bit of time to recover and maybe speak to the trained midwife to go through it all and that might help.
It's surprising how quickly I went from panic attacks and flashbacks to considering having another one pretty quickly!

X x x

That's really positive to hear! Thanks SBB

 

[holly2234]

This seems completely pathetic compared to everyone elses traumatic stories, but it makes me sad to think they wouldnt believe anything i said when the baby was coming and kept sending me away. Then after she was born and id gone for a shower (the one in the room was broken so used the one in the corridor), i got back and they had taken all of my things and baby and put it in the staff canteen and told me i was to go there. I wasnt properly dressed and my bags were all over and baby had been dressed and moved without my or my OH's permission and i really wanted to do those things or at least be there.

 

[Jenniflower]

This seems completely pathetic compared to everyone elses traumatic stories, but it makes me sad to think they wouldnt believe anything i said when the baby was coming and kept sending me away. Then after she was born and id gone for a shower (the one in the room was broken so used the one in the corridor), i got back and they had taken all of my things and baby and put it in the staff canteen and told me i was to go there. I wasnt properly dressed and my bags were all over and baby had been dressed and moved without my or my OH's permission and i really wanted to do those things or at least be there.

Your experience is yours and nothing anyone else goes through makes it any less important to you. I can totally imagine the fact of not being listened to would be so horrible! I can understand slightly as I was only 2cm but the pain was unbearable and they wouldn't listen to me at all about this. Telling me I was basically being a baby about it all. I now cry when I was OBEM and I see women in pain and no one is doing anything about it. As a grown woman you want to be taken seriously and treated with respect! It sounds like you did not get the either of these with your care and that's horrible and not ok at all hun. I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[bethanchloe]

Aw girls your babies are still so new and it's not surprising it's still raw... Give yourselves a bit of time to recover and maybe speak to the trained midwife to go through it all and that might help.
It's surprising how quickly I went from panic attacks and flashbacks to considering having another one pretty quickly!

X x x

Agreed wonderful advice
xx

 

[mrsjoer]

Aw girls your babies are still so new and it's not surprising it's still raw... Give yourselves a bit of time to recover and maybe speak to the trained midwife to go through it all and that might help.
It's surprising how quickly I went from panic attacks and flashbacks to considering having another one pretty quickly!

X x x

This is true, I'm thinking I would do it again... But I'm not sure. Some days are better than others and sometimes remembering the labour really upsets me. If I do do it again I want either a planned section or if not then they can bugger right off if they think they are going to keep sending me home again. I will not have four days worth of contractions being 5 mins apart before they admit me. I couldnt cope then and I wouldn't again. Anyway, I've told my hubby if he wants another then we are going private as NHS were awful so he better start saving his money lol.

To the ladies who wish they had had a vaginal birth... I had one and do not feel any more of a sense of achievement for it. I thought I would but I didn't. We all still have our babies however they were delivered. To me, the sense of achievement is looking at her and knowing I made her inside of me, I carried her for 9 months and now I'm looking after her. It doesn't matter how she came out of me, she still came from me and was created through the love shared between me and hubby. Xxx

 

[holly2234]

This seems completely pathetic compared to everyone elses traumatic stories, but it makes me sad to think they wouldnt believe anything i said when the baby was coming and kept sending me away. Then after she was born and id gone for a shower (the one in the room was broken so used the one in the corridor), i got back and they had taken all of my things and baby and put it in the staff canteen and told me i was to go there. I wasnt properly dressed and my bags were all over and baby had been dressed and moved without my or my OH's permission and i really wanted to do those things or at least be there.

Your experience is yours and nothing anyone else goes through makes it any less important to you. I can totally imagine the fact of not being listened to would be so horrible! I can understand slightly as I was only 2cm but the pain was unbearable and they wouldn't listen to me at all about this. Telling me I was basically being a baby about it all. I now cry when I was OBEM and I see women in pain and no one is doing anything about it. As a grown woman you want to be taken seriously and treated with respect! It sounds like you did not get the either of these with your care and that's horrible and not ok at all hun. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Thanks I did notice that happen a lot on OBEM with pain relief. They seem to be able to tell you when youre in "enough" pain for any relief. People react in different ways. Im a very quiet person anyway so i didnt scream the walls down. Because there was no fuss they thought they could just walk away. They certainly believed me when they examined me and then a head popped out shortly after!

 

[Aunty E]

After Mog, I hated them, but OH and I watched OBEM with two day old Teddy this week, and we felt great - it did get better after Mog, but I felt jealous/angry/resentful/upset for ages, and I didn't even have that bad a time of it. This time was so much better, now I just feel a little bit smug