Anyone ltttc with a large family or wanting a large family?

[readyformore]

Hi, just trying to find others that are in a similar position as myself.

There seem to be very few out there that are ltttc that already have a few kids. I am guessing that it's either because those that want a large family aren't having difficulty ttc, or perhaps just not many are looking to have a large family.


Anyway, I am on cycle #25 of ttc #4. My first child was also ltttc and conceived with 4 IUIs. My second and third children were easily conceived. We've tried 3 IUIs for a fourth child and those failed. We are now done with fertility treatments and just seeing where ttc takes us.

I have always wanted 5 kids, (5 sounds good because it's 2 away from what I have. I have a feeling that if I had 5, I would want 7 ).

It's a very strange feeling to have children and still be longing for a child. It's like walking on both sides of the street at the same time.

Anyone else out there?

 

[motherofboys]

Hi I know what you mean. We did want 6, but I knew if I had 6 I'd want more. Looking at it sensibly we will definately have a 4th, which we are currently TTC and possibly a 5th. Hubby wants a larger gap between the 4th and 5th which will either mean that I end up convincing him we need a 6th so the 5th has a play mate, or deciding that I'm done and dont want to go back to the baby stage (unlikely I know lol) so stopping at 4. I hope it will be the 6 lol

We started TTC in july 2010 though I guess technically we were NTNP as I wasn't having cycles. My cycles returned in August 2011 and were regular pretty quickly apart from the last 2, one 1 was 3 weeks late and the next I was a week early. This is my 1st month all out charting, last month I was just doing CM,CP and monitoring O pains. This month I'm doing CM,CP, O pain, Temping, OPK and watching all signs. Also started taking a prenatal vitamin and if I get another short LP then B6.
I'm also just starting weaning my youngest from the breast. Not for TTC purposes though I think if my LP is short it will help, but have felt it was time for a while but havent been able to take the plunge.

 

[motherofboys]

Also this post is great because I often feel I can't moan about it taking a long time because I have kids and others have none, but in some ways its like "why isnt it working, it worked before?!"
1st I conceived 1st month of trying, 2nd was 7th month and 3rd was 12th month

 

[readyformore]

Yep, I hear you. I do feel like I have a right to moan, but not to those that are ltttc their first. And, I just can't really stomach those that have had a child and moan after ttc for 6 months. I know that I felt the same way, but I am way past month #6. It's a completely different set of circumstances at this point.

I also find it incredibly difficult to speak freely about my kids while posting in ltttc forums. It's quite tricky. I don't want to offend anyone but obviously, my kids are a big part of my life. It's hard to do fertility treatments while balancing field trips, ski club, storytime, and babysitters. It's more complicated than it was while ltttc #1.

I breastfed my second son for the longest period of time, 22 months. I felt like I was done after 18 though. He was a boob addict.

 

[motherofboys]

we are 2 days off 27 months. the others only breastfed a matter of weeks so this is all new to me and although I have read just about every way to wean a toddler I still feel a bit lost about how to do it. He occassionally has cows milk, so he just had some in a cup at the same time as his brothers and I pointed out how his such a big boy like his brothers and that perhaps he could have this big boy fridge milk in the day and still have mummies milk at night. I need to be strong, but dont want to force the issue either lol

Yes I agree that its hard to talk about the kids when on the other ttc posts, I feel like I'm rubbing it in their faces. But these days my kids are all I know. I don't think I have many conversations that dont involve something child related LOL

 

[readyformore]

My first was pretty easy to wean. He was 19 months and I was 20 weeks pregnant with #2. I was sick and dehydrated. One night he was nursing, and I just didn't have anything to let down. He sat up and looked at me and asked for a bottle. I did the 'don't offer don't refuse' approach with him and it worked. He asked 3 days later and I told him it was all gone. He never even got upset.

My second was really difficult. He got to the point that he wanted to do it all the time and I was just feeling done at that point. My husband said that for this child, I either had to give it to him whenever he asked, or not at all. It was just that child's personality. He was right. I stopped nursing because I was going in for surgery and wouldn't be home for a couple of days, plus the meds, etc. I weaned him a few weeks before my surgery. DH had to put him to bed and get up with him for a few days straight, but it was smooth after that.

#3 was pretty easy. She was 16 months and nursed for about 2 minutes once a day. I was like, "Nope, I am sooo done with this." lol. I rocked her instead of nursing her one night before bed. She looked at me like she was confused, but never got upset.

All of that being said, I do still really miss breastfeeding.
I saw a woman on the bus last week nursing a baby that was about 10 months old. It brought back such good memories and with it a stab of longing.


Good luck.
Weaning is always hard and bittersweet.

 

[motherofboys]

I have felt done for a while but feel mean, its his only comfort, the others had dummies and teddies. They still keep the teddies on their beds. He doesnt have any attachment to anything else. Also he shares a room with his brothers and still wakes in the night. So its so much easier to just give him the breast and his back to sleep in minutes with out waking anyone else up LOL Going to concentrate on the middle of the day 1st, get it down to 1st thing in the morning and then for night time and go from there.
It is bitter sweet. Even though I feel done there are times when it comes in handy LOL and also I still get that feeling of pride with each mile stone. Also dont want to wean at the same time as potty training, so hopefully get him done at the breast by the summer holidays and then can potty train. He seems ready for the potty but my others were both 3 before we had any success with that so who knows LOL


Do you do any charting? I'm pretty sure today is O day. But charting with FF and its not marked it as such yet. Had a +opk yesterday, temp dip today and a -opk. If my temp rises tomorrow that should confirm O right?

 

[readyformore]

FF takes until 3dpo to give you crosshairs and confirm ov. I would just give it a few days and see what happens. Sounds like ov is today. Good luck on the shagging.

Just reading what you've written is bringing a lot of good memories back. And yeah, I was proud of each milestone I reached too. That's not to say that everyone should breastfeed, but it was important to me. Weaning prior to potty training sounds like a good idea too. It might be too much for him at once otherwise.

 

[motherofboys]

I know what you mean. When I read posts from people feeding little babies it brings back all those memories of new born nursing.

And I'll just have to be patient with FF

 

[XxFatMummaxX]

Hey thanks for the message hunni!!
Bit about me, mum of 5 (3 girls the 2 boys) ttc#6 since youngest was 8 weeks old as wanted em close!! And it seems that the plan has well and truly gone out the window!! Haha!! Here I am 23 mths down the line and an empty womb!!
I don't know why I seem to be broken but things aren't going how they "should"!!

Nice to meet some girls I can rant to about not being able to have a desperately wanted baby without feeling ( or bein made to feel) guilty for those who haven't even got one!!
My theory is we know what kids do to your heart and it breaks a
Little every month when the dreaded bitch arrives!! I get the usual comments from people who's opinion really doesn't matter, " haven't you got enough?" " ooo you've got your hands full" stuff em eh?!

Right thats my little moan over heehee!!
How are we otherwise??!!
Xxxx

 

[readyformore]

Hi FM!!

Thanks for joining us!

I agree, I am really sick of people trying to make me feel greedy/guilty. It's not like if I have a fourth baby, I am preventing them from having a second! I don't understand why people don't seem to know that a fourth, seventh, etc baby is just as special and as wanted as #1. Are all of these people that don't understand that concept an only child? I understand that the first child makes a difference of whether or not you become a mother, but ALL children are equally special. Can you imagine raising your kids but treating only the first 'special'? It would be a nightmare child.

Everyone assumed that I wanted a third baby because my first two were boys. I don't care about gender, I just wanted another baby. Then, when my third was a girl, I heard a lot of, "Now that you have a girl, you can be done." Right, because parenting is so horrible I choose to do it 3 times over, but only until I had the right gender.
So, now everyone assumes that I won't have anymore because I have boys and my 'girl'.

My first two are a week short of 24 months apart. My second was an unplanned pregnancy, I never intended to have kids that close, but I LOVE it.
I would like for my dd to have a close in age sibling, but that hasn't worked out.


We'll just have to have 2 more that are close in age to compensate for the gap.

 

[readyformore]

And purely because I seem to be ranting, I am going to bring up the statement which I am sure that both of you have heard. "You should just be grateful for the children you have."

This comment amazes me. And I have heard it more than a few times. Have I ever said that I am ungrateful for my kids? How could someone decide to have a fourth child simply because they are ungrateful for the first three? "No, you three, I don't really like you at all. I'm going to have another one that I will like more." Who does that crap? It's a ridiculous statement really.

No, it's the overwhelming gratefulness or appreciation for my children that I do have, that makes me want more. I love mothering so much, and I enjoy my children so much, that I want to do it over, and over, and over, and over, and over................
My wanting another child has nothing to do with my lack of appreciation for the first three. It's the opposite. My appreciation for the first three makes me want more.

Whew- I guess I needed to get that off my chest to a safe audience!!

 

[motherofboys]

Yes, yes and yes! Everything you have both said is so true!
It is BECAUSE I have 3 children that I want more! And I get the comment about stopping after a girl, I have 3 boys. I tell people now that I am 100% convinced we will have another boy and I think that I would prefer that. I only have brothers, I had mainly male friends growing up. I know nothing about girls and wouldn't know what to do with one. The truth is that yes a girl would be nice. A girl would give me more choice of presents when it comes to christmas (I don't know about you guys but especially with mine being close together we saved everything and so the 3rd I always get stuck on what to buy him as we have everything for that age group no matter what age he is) and as we have all the clothes a boy could need we would just buy one or two bits for another boy, but a girl would mean a shopping spree! But at the end of the day a baby is a baby and I don't really care what gender they are.
I get 'at least you know you can have kids'.

My brothers (twins) are only 13 months younger than me and so I wanted a close age gap. I have 20 months between the 1st 2 and was aiming for that again and got 2 years 4 months. Wanted somewhere between that again but obviously not happening!

 

[readyformore]

Rough day at work today. I am an OB nurse and sometimes it's just too much. It doesn't make any sense how some people can make a baby when they aren't even capable of caring for themselves, let alone a baby. I am not talking about finances or level of education, but some people are just a menace to society and they get to procreate while we can't.

I was feeling down and just wanted to go out and eat junk food. My husband took us all out to dinner. I had a big coke, chili fries and a burger. Then my son and I shared a banana split. The restaurant had a clown there and she blew up balloon animals and painted the kids faces. My two youngest got a balloon animal, so cute. We ran into our friends at the restaurant and then we walked to the pet store to see the cats and lizards.

It really helped to lift my spirits. Tons of calories and happy kids make for a good night!

 

[motherofboys]

Oh no that must be tough, seeing pregnant women and babies all day.

 

[readyformore]

I think it was harder when I was ttc my first. At least now I have actually gone through the labor and delivery part and I can relate to them and even share my own experiences.

Do you work outside of the home at all?

 

[motherofboys]

No I don't. I have now and again thought about it and applied for the odd thing. I'm now thinking about making my own work from home business but no idea what to do lol

 

[shellie31]

girls.
I'm so glad theres a new thread for women like us, thanks Ready

I have 3 bairns, 2 boys, 17 & 13 & a girl age 14, they are my world . I've been TTC no 4 for a long long time & i've had all those comments too, "You have 3 why have more?" "At least you can have babies", that last one bugs the shit out of me cos if i could have babies i'd have had 2 in the time i've been TTC no 4. Even my mum told me to get over it cos i had 3 bairns already, i was so angry i didn't speak to her for months. No one else in real life gets it so i'm glad to have found you lot .

I don't follow many threads, a few journals but thats it. TTC forums leave me feeling worse cos they all seem to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat & then theres the ones moaning about how hard it is & they've been TTC for about 6 months. I don't know why i'm broken but i am & i guess all i have left is a little glimmer of hope but then reality kicks in & i'm back to square one

Sorry for the rant , i'm not always on a downer, just know that bitch will be here yet again tommorow.

 

[readyformore]

Hi Shellie!

Yep, I've gotten a lot of the comments about "At least you already have 3 kids." Or, "At least you know you can get pregnant."

Don't you mean that at one point I did get pregnant? Because if I *could* get pregnant, I would be on #5 right now.

You know, when I signed up to be a member on this forum, I choose readyformore because I wanted #4 and #5 close in age. I figured that I didn't want to change my name if I said readyfor#4, so I choose readyformore. That way the friends that I made would still know my name when I was pregnant with my fifth. I thought I would be half done baking #5 by now.

 

[shellie31]

I thought i'd at least be TTC baby #5 by now cos when i joined BnB i'd already been TTC for over 2 years. How fucking naive i was to think it would be easy

That comment is great, i'll remember that next time someone pisses me off saying i should be grateful for what i do have, which of course i am, i count those blessings everyday. That comment would shut them up instead of me biting my tongue lol

I get your username . Theres another girl i stalk who's had a TR too & just had a baby boy, her username is Ready4onemore cos she only wanted one more so i get what yours means .