Anyone ltttc with a large family or wanting a large family?

[motherofboys]

Hi shellie!
I think you are very wise keeping out of the TTC forum. I wish I could LOL I seem to be a glutton for punishment (at least thats the phrase people use when they hear you have 3 kids and want more! I tend to think of it more as 'cant get enough of a good thing')
I honestly thought my best friend was going to make a pregnancy announcement today. We had been shopping, and stopped for lunch and she went all quiet then said "theres something I havent told you" my stomach dropped! Turned out it wasnt a pregnancy, it was that her boyfriend had cheated on her so of course I felt horrible for feeling relieved! How awful am I?! She doesnt know we are trying. She wants us to be pregnant together again (she had her 1st 8 weeks before I had my 3rd) but she wants to wait another year before she even starts and thats IF she can make things work with her boyfriend. I was going to admit we were not waiting (but not tell her how long we had been trying) but after that didnt feel I could.

 

[readyformore]

Oh, momofboys, yep, I have a friend that I am waiting to hear from anyday. She's ttc #4 as well.

I feel slightly sick and twisted because I am secretly happy that she hasn't gotten pregnant yet. She went off the pill last June. When I had been ttc my first for 10 months, she announced she was pregnant with her first, (after ttc 3 months). She then delivered her baby before I was even pregnant. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I don't think I can do that again. And I feel terrible for even thinking that way.

 

[shellie31]

I've had that said to me too, you must be a glutton for punishment. No TTC for years is punishment not my bairns.

It's normal to feel sick & a bit twisted not to mention gutted when you hear a friend announce there BFP . The only person in real life i didn't feel like that with is my best friend, she took 5 years to conceive #4, when she phoned me & said i have something to tell you, i felt like i had a dead weight in my stomach & i knew what she was going to say before she said it. I cried with her cos she'd given up on it ever happening & couldn't believe it had,neither could i . That's the only time i've actually cried with happiness instead of pity for myself.
When SIL announced her pregnancy at new year i was gutted but put on my best fake smile, inside i was heartbroken , she'd only been TTC a few months.
I don't hate women for getting a BFP,i know how excited they are & i'd be over the moon if it was me, shouting it from the roof tops but ATM i don't see it ever becoming a reality.

I'm out again cos the arrived yesterday afternoon . Onto yet another cycle, i've lost count how many have been failures.

 

[motherofboys]

Sorry its onto another month for you hun. I'm pretty sure I'm 4dpo but FF wont give me crosshairs! I've had the +opk, the temp drop on day of O then rising, the ewcm, the SHOW CP followed by LFC. Everything points to that day being O but I want FF to confirm it for me.I think I'm out anyway. I was really down and hardly DTD at all before O. but I want to be sure of my LP

 

[readyformore]

momofboys. Can you link your chart? We can take a look at it for you.

 

[motherofboys]

I'm not sure how? when i look at it, it is just a pop up window thing. I cant seem to find a share button or anything?
I know my temps dipped today but its marked with a white circle because I woke up and temped earlier than usual (thanks to my little man) but even is i click to discard that it doesnt give me lines.
Of course if I change it to go from opk then it gives me 1 line but not a cover line. Do you think thats the problem? I havent been temping long enough to have a cover line?

 

[motherofboys]

Its ok I think I have worked it out
See if this works LOL
My Ovulation Chart

 

[readyformore]

The link worked. I would still wait and see for a few days. You might not have ovulated until day 21 or 22 so that would be why you don't have crosshairs yet. FF is a particular bugger. It will give you a coverline and crosshairs when it's applicable.

I have always adjusted my temp, but I have temped A LOT!! If your temp this morning was a significantly different time than usual, it will throw the whole thing off. Even an hour will make a big difference, (this is why I stopped temping. It wasn't telling me anything I didn't know, and the pressure of needing to temp at a particular time made it difficult for me to sleep).
Here's an adjuster you can try for today's temp. See if it makes a difference. Either way, it really does take awhile to start to see a pattern in yourself. https://whenmybaby.com/basalbodytemperature.php

 

[motherofboys]

Thanks, it was only half hour earlier so doesn't adjust by much and is still a drop just not as big a one. I was really hoping that temping would confirm what I suspected was O. Oh well I guess I will just have to keep waiting. Don't you hate how everything about TTC is just waiting. And when you think your doing something to give you more control and pass the time, it just confuses you even more and makes the waiting harder LOL
I really wish I could let go. If I get a normal LP this month then I'm going to try not to temp or opk or anything and just BD every other day

 

[motherofboys]

Oh yes and it looks like we are all coming down with something. I felt all dizzy and sick and tired etc today, hubby came home feeling the same. Had #1 and #2 coughing and #2 and #3 with snotty noses. Which is perfect timing seeing as they have been on half term and should be nice and ill for school on monday LOL Oh and bang goes any progress on the weaning. Yesterday when I was out he didnt nurse from 7:30 am (busy playing, getting ready then actually going out) until 4:30 and then again at bed time. But his obviously not feeling right so is asking even more. Every time I start to think about weaning seriously he ends up getting ill like his doing it on purpose LOL

 

[shellie31]

Thanks MOB's .
I'm useless with temping, don't have a clue about it .

Hope your boys get better soon

 

[motherofboys]

I got CROSSHAIRS!! On the day I thought I O'd too lol
Thanks, the big two have gone to judo this morning, although the middle one insisted I take his temp 1st with the childrens ear thermometer and if it had a smiley face he could go and if it was sad he couldnt LOL it was smiley

 

[shellie31]

That's great . Glad the boys are better now

 

[XxFatMummaxX]

Hey girls sorry I haven't been on but the sickness monster caught all the kids 1 day at a time!!
MOB- Yey you got your crosshairs!! So massive FX'd for you this cycle!!! Bfp for you me thinks!! Glad the boys are feeling better xx

Shellie-sorry AF got you sweetie!! Hopefully a march baby is just waiting for you xx

Rfm- how are you hunni? Xx

Afm have had my ass up keeping soldiers in!! Haha!! Come on little things swim swim with all your might!! :0)
Kids are finally better ( hurrah!) so washing machine gets a break!!
Really hoping this will be our month (23) its getting draining now!! Living our lives in 2week increments is driving me insane!!waiting for AF, then O then the never ending 2ww!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!

we will win this war ladies!!
Xxxx

 

[motherofboys]

I don't even dare to hope any more LOL
Glad your kids are better now. I hope its all our months, maybe the thread will carry some luck with it LOL

 

[readyformore]

MOB- glad the boys are better.

Hi FM!! I hope those suckers are good swimmers for you!!

Hi Shellie!

AFM- The boys had their last day of school on Friday. We went camping for the weekend. It was a fabulous time. They ran around with their friends. My 3/o dd was staying up til almost 10 and was just pooped out. The boys were up until 11! Good thing it wasn't ov time for me. Even the DH and I are so tired after the bon fire and getting the kids to bed that we talked about sex, but never got around to it. We were both too tired to initiate.
I expect AF about Wednesday. My pms sore boobs went away, and that usually happens a few days prior to AF. I feel so confident that AF is coming that I even cleaned the kitty litter. I think that by now, I am an expert at knowing when I am NOT pregnant.

It's over 90 degrees today, (not sure in Celsius, but it's stinking hot ). We were unpacking the camper and it was way too hot, I was sweating, the kids were tired/hot/cranky. We were all short tempered. I was carrying heavy boxes, etc. I actually was thinking about how I couldn't do this so well if I was pregnant. The heat always got to me when I was pregnant. I know how short lived pregnancy is, but every now and again, I try to remember why it's good NOT to be pregnant. Maybe it will help to keep me sane.

 

[shellie31]

FM. you're right we will win this war .

MOB's. I don't dare to hope either but then a part of me says it's not impossible so i keep on going

I'm hoping too that this is a lucky thread for us all

Ready. Glad to see you back hun

 

[readyformore]

Have any of you guys gone to research resolution of secondary infertility? I keep finding information about how you will have to come to terms with your child being an only child.

Where do we fit in? We already have larger families than some people want, but we are still going through infertility. I have yet to find info on how to cope with not having baby #4 or #6, etc. What do you do with that?

 

[motherofboys]

RFM sounds like a fab time camping.
Shellie I know what you mean. I keep thinking 'one day' but just not yet.

AF got me today. Another 6 day LP and this time I'm sure. The opks, the temps. FF marked me down as Oing the day I thought. So its official, I am going to start the B6. I hope this is the only reason that it hasn't happened yet. I hope its not going to take that long once I finally get a long enough LP. And it means I'm going to have to carry on charting to see when it lengthens. But my cycle is still 28 days so it definately looks like its been this way the whole time we have been TTC #4.

Now to order some more opks. Would you order some preseed yet or wait till my LP is longer? I've seen a B6 thread where the 1st month on B6 extended her LP by 3-4 days!

 

[beegray]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry to butt in, not dealing with secondary infertility, dealing with first. I think that you ladies have every right to moan about infertility as we who are trying for a first do. I am an extremely busy woman, I have a full time job and am heavily involved in my church so busy 99% percent of my time. So i had comments about keep busy then you won't think about it, well, what I am getting at is that maybe you ladies have it worse then we do sometimes. You have children constantly in your life, you are kept busy by your children, so everytime you look at your children you remember the baby stage and the pregnancy with them and the longing can increase. You have a constant reminder of what it was like. I at least have a busy life away from kids. For me it hurts to not have at least one baby, to know what it's like to be a mom. My heart goes out to you ladies, you go through infertility day by day with a constant reminder of it in your own kids. I agree with a previous comment about not moaning to us without kids, purely because we don't understand what it's like to have children. But infertility is infertility no matter where you are in life, it sucks, it hurts and holds endless disappointments. We have the option and ability to run away from kids, you don't. I just feel the only difference at the end of the ttc journey that those that never had children, our lives are empty, whereas you ladies are lucky where you have your children, every woman has a space to love just that one more child, unfortunately we never had the opportunity to love just one. Good-luck ladies and I hope and pray that you get your next BFP's soon!!!!!