Anyone out there depressed? Help needed badly

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Depressed, Oct 4, 2008.

  1. WelshGirl

    WelshGirl Mummy at last!!

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  2. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    Hun as for saying it takes two to make an argument it dosnt. My ex used to randomly start on me and I wouldnt even open my mouth and particpate because it would make it worse so there for it didnt take two to start that one just one.

    You need strength and your hormones will be everywhere as it is. So its not easy I know just to get up and go but you have to think of that baby you are carying in you and what sort of harm he could do to it.

    men like this gain control and take away your self esteem to the point you wont care anymore about you and take it. It makes it harder to leave then, dont ever think its your fault or that you havent got the strength to go. You do have it, you have your baby there who wouldnt want to be introduced to this. ANd you wont be alone, again baby is there.

    Where are your family then? I would hop on a plane and be out out of there but i see you would be afraid to do that. You will know when the time is right to do so i just hope you and baby will be ok in the meantime till you make that decision.
     
  3. Bearsbaby

    Bearsbaby Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your problems but would have to echo the advice given in the previous posts. I too live in Asia (but in the south otherwise I might be of some help) and certainly understand how difficult things can be in Japan. Women are still down-trodden and abuse from men (in many forms) is an accepted as a daily occurence. If your OH is a local then you really do need to think of your position immediately since once the baby is born you might not be able to leave with it, without his authority - even though you are the mother. That can happen where I am. If you do not have access to enough money for a plane ticket maybe you have a friend or relative in the UK who can pay for your ticket via credit card online and then you can collect an e-ticket at the airport - I know there are airlines that will do this. I know that if I had a similar problem here I wouldn't know what to do - I have few friends and there is no support system for women suffering from abuse - it's a completely different culture and just not seen as a problem. I'd call a taxi and go to the airport and get back on home soil where atleast I know I would be safe.
     
  4. captain-ally

    captain-ally Well-Known Member

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    I know it's a bit of a long shot, but what about the communitys of english teachers in Japan? I also have a friend with friends there, also a long shot but they're wonderful people if you need to escape. I can get their number for you...

    And everyone else is right. I've also been in this kind of relationship and the only thing to do is get out. IF THEY DO IT ONCE, THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN. Leaving for good is the only thing that works. It's terrifying - my ex had me followed by his stupid thug brother for weeks - but it'll be over before you know it and you'll be stronger for it. Men are asses, in general, and some are just meant to be alone.
     

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