Anyone over 35 want a buddy?

[Leeze]

Sorry to hear AF got you, ChysantheMum - that sucks. I tested again today and got another BFN. I think I'm out this month too and AF is due tomorrow. I'm normally pretty regular so I think she'll be coming to get me tomorrow.

On a positive note I went to my Doctor yesterday and he has agreed to refer me and my OH for tests at our local fertility clinic. At first he said we hadn't really been waiting long enough and I got really upset and said it was stressing me so much and because of my age and everything it was really hard. Eventually he said to me "So you've been trying for 2 years then" - even though I'd just said to him it was a year (it's actually 11 months but I'd heard you had to wait for a year where I live to get tests done) - so I said "yes, it's been 2 years" because I figured he was telling me if I said that then he would refer me!! But I don't feel bad about it because I've heard when you're over 35 you should go for tests if you don't conceive within the first 6 months.

xx

 

[Leeze]

Also, I went to see a nutritionist last week and she gave me lots of good tips. Apparently it's good to eat food with lots of Vitamin D in it because it's considered there's sometimes a link between a lack of Vit D and fertility problems. So I'm doing some research on this but it seems like oily fish are good for this. Also she said to eat lots of yellow and orange fruit and veg as these are good for healthy ovaries - so yellow peppers, carrots, butternut squash etc - and to eat lots of greens like sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, rocket etc. And she recommended starflower as a supplement instead of EPO, and to take EPA for the 2WW - this is what you get from fish oils. And she said to cut down on the Maca - to go from 4 a day to 2 a day. So I thought I'd share this info with you in case it's helpful! xx

 

[Irish9yo]

Hi Guys, been a weird few days - sorry to all those who ended up with AF - its just a waiting game. Well I have been in to hospital a few times and I am too early for a D&C so I will go myself naturally when my body finally realises that I am not pregnant any more. I had bloods done and they are still rising marginally (onl by 40 in 48hrs) the pregnancy is not progressign but I am not symptomatic of EP so hopefully when I go back in on Friday the number will be falling as it shold be. To be honest I am fine now I had a huge argument with my OH last night it ended up that most of our friends know through one thing and another he feels like it has turned in to a pantomime - he is going mad that I told anyone b/c I was so early. I honestly don't think that men process things the way we do he doesn't even really consider that I was pregnant at all!! He did make a valid point though that he wasn't going to do this again if I was going to get this upset, bascially he pointed out that they explained the risks etc... at the clinic and that we have to be prepared for dissapointment and that our time will eventually come but I have to be mentally prepared to do this otherwise there is no point. Anyway I think I did learn a valuable lesson I will not be telling anyone the next time (hopefully the next time is soon) and just to keep my head down and hope for the best. Not sure now when I will get my period again probably the New Year so then it will be back to the drawing board. Best of luck for those still testing and fingers crossed for the next cycle for the rest of you guys. Thanks for all the warm wishes and concerns it does really mean a lot but honestly I think now I will just put this behind me and try to concentrate on the fact that I got pregnant which is a step in the right direction. xxxxxxx

 

[chysantheMUM]

Irish9yo - thats its, you need to take the positives from this, you are capable of getting pregnant, so it will just be a matter of time until it happens again As for the business about telling friends, I realise this isn't quite the same as your situation but I wish I hadn't mentioned earlier in the year, (when I was quite tipsy at a party full of people) that we were planning on TTC because everytime I meet up with anyone now, at some stage of the conversation, they will ask 'so are you pregnant yet' which is difficult for 2 reasons, 1. I might never get pregnant, so this will get pretty tedious 2. if I do, I will have to lie for the 1st 3 months and I'm not very good at that

Leeze - thats great that your GP is referring you for tests, although a little confusing that he seemed to be suggesting that you had to have been trying for 2 years, because most of the things I've read say 1 year. Slightly worrying for me really because I've only been trying for 6 months and don't want to have to wait another year and a half to be looked at. I made the mistake of telling my doc when I last went to see him for a check up in May that we were planning on TTC from June, so hopefully he didn't make a note of this Anyway hope it all goes well

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

Happy Thanksgiving to those US girls...

And lets just put November behind us girls… and move on to next month. That is my attempt at some Positive Vibes….

Irish..big hugs going out to you, and you certainly are correct, guys just simply do not and can not process things as women do. I hope you recover quickly and as you said, the only positive you can get out of this is that you did get pregnant and will do so again in the future.

Leeze...gosh 2 years seems extreme doesnt it...you you are correct I heard as well after age 35 that 6 months is the max to try... but hey you got around it anyway..haha..way to go Doc!!!

CMum... sorry AF got cha too girl!!! And my suggestion to you is next time you go see him... just say ahh we have been trying for a year... what would it hurt... if he seems confused, and says well I remember you said 6 months, just so oh no its been over a year, I would if I were your. What will it hurt to tell a little fib right ?

Hey Bann… sorry for you AF visit tooo. oh well positive thoughts for all of us going forward. So that new job keeping ya busy huh… so what ya think you like it ?

And hello there AngelCake… you you doin hun?

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

Irish - really sorry to hear that things aren't progressing for you this time. That's some great PMA you got going on there though. I think it's good to remember you got pregnant and therefore you can do it again! When I had my m/c in June I had told a few close friends (and my manager) but it was good for me because this meant I had a lot of support from them. I would have hated to go through it on my own, as I wasn't on this forum then either. My OH was great, but he was away in Amsterdam with work for the week when I was going through the m/c so that was a total bummer too. I think it's good to have some good friends around to help you through it, personally, but it's also good to be able to have some space to grieve.

ChysantheMUM - I'm similar to you in that I've told quite a lot of people now. Actually, it was a couple of months after I had the m/c that I started telling other friends so now they are all asking me whenever I see them. I've also been thinking that I don't want to tell anyone (or maybe just my closest 2 friends) next time but don't want to lie either. I was thinking I'd say something like "There's no news in that department and I'll let you know as soon as there is". But, I'm also thinking that I don't know how I'll feel when it happens and maybe I'll be so happy to be pregnant again that I won't care who I tell!!

Bann - I'd also heard that you should get referred for 6 months after 35 and that's why I first went to my doctor after about 8 months. he told me at the time that it was 18 months for my local area that you needed to wait, but when I went to the fertility show recently I met the consultant for my local clinic and he told me it was a year which is why I went back to my Doctor. I'm not sure why he wrote 2 years down, but I'm hoping this might speed the process up a bit so I don't mind!!

TTC1st - I agree a little white lie wouldn't hurt and I doubt the doctor would keep a record. I think you could always say you had initially counted the time from when you were doing OPKs and charting etc but that for a few months before that you were BDing every 2 days without using contraception so technically that time would count too. they can't ask you to prove anything! That's what I figured with my doctor, I'd told him only a couple of months back that it had been 8 months and then I told him this time it had been over a year and he didn't say any different. I'm loving your positive vibes, I think it would be nice to get a Xmas BFP!!!

So, AF has come yet for me but I got another BFN this morning so I think the nasty witch is just around the corner still. I'd really like it if I could be 2 or 3 days late and then my most fertile days next month would be at a weekend and not mid-week!!!! that's what I wish for this month, assuming there's no BFP still which I'm pretty much resigned to being the case

have a great evening everyone. lots of baby dust!! x

 

[chysantheMUM]

Hi Leeze, any developments yet? If AF still not here, I'd say its looking very promising. I realise you keep getting BFN's but that doesn't necessarily mean anything because it doesn't always pick it up straight away. Anyway, fingers x'd, we need some good news this month xx

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

Sorry to say but AF got me with a vengeance last night. GRRRR

So I'm definitely out for this month. Having a couple of glasses of bubbly to try to cheer myself up but it's not really working! Need to start plotting now for our next cycle as it would be really lovely to get a BFP before Xmas!!!

How's everyone else doing? Xx

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

hi girls hope you all had a nice weekend... hey Leeze sorry AF gotcha... how are ya other girls doing... almost time to start the BDing huh?



So my blood levels came back and my FSH was rather high this cycle 11.3 my other blood levels were normal. Doc said to go get my FSH tested again today(which I did) to see what the effect of the Clomid had on my FSH level. So the point of measuring FSH at CD3 then take the Clomid from 3-7 then retest FSH on CD10 is to see how your body is responding. Ideally my FSH should have been lower to begin with (CD3) and if it is still high (or higher) today (CD10) then it means I have rather diminished egg reserve. Obviously it doesnt mean I am infertile or anything... but its just NOT good at all. And they say that it can change from month to month... but generally when you get a high month you pretty much are considered "high".

as for the hubbys SA... apparently they are only 1/2 way done with it, SA measures a bunch of things.. and the Count and Morphology/Shape is not done yet, so have to wait for that to come back later this week, but they said his Mobility is only %34 which is considered low Normal range is 49. But his Volume is "Normal".. I am going to wait for the rest of the results to come back..but so far I am just really teary today... very unlike me...

I have been reading up on Mobility and they said that alcohol has a lot to do with it. Gosh and my hubby loves his drinks... dont get me wrong he is by noooooo means an alcoholic, but he is definately a "drinker"... loves his wine and martinis. And gosh he sells beer for a living !!!! It is really going to be sooooo difficult to try to ask him to cut back, I think it will turn him quite bitter immediately if I mention it... and make this whole TTC for him a huge burden. I am going to go look up now... some supplements to get him on to help with the spermies... then of course wait to get the rest of his results back... but the doc said with low mobility like that, that he should go see a urologist.

I am going to continue to try to stay as possitive as possible, and will certainly not give up...but just having a damn bad day with all this news ya know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Irish9yo]

Hi Guys,
Leeze sorry the hag got you stay positive.

TTC1st, You should definately look in to IUI if it is the motility as this cuts out a lot of swimming and they wash the sperm before the procedure which really ensures you get the best possible swimmers. I am sure you know this already but taking clomid can artifically elevate your FSH that is what the FE told me when I went to see him mine came back at 10.1 he said he would expect that to come down once off the clomid haven't had a chance to check yet.

Anyway my saga continues, last Friday went back to the maternity (believe it or not they treat the misscarriage patients in the same place as the pregnant people - total nightmare) to have another scan and bloods as they were a little concerned ended up having an internal scan - I was really tender towards my left tube so immediately she said she was quite concerned. I went back to admissions and they said that they would have to admitt me and put a rush on my bloods to rule out ectopic I was then subjected to a visual exam of the cervix (like a smear) and then an internal I cried my heart out it was terrible. They admitted me at 10.30am at 12.30 noon the bloods came back they had gone up again but minimally so not like a viable pregnancy. They said that the fact there was nothing on the scan there had to be something somewhere. In the end the Doc said that I would not have to undergo a Laparoscopy they were going to give me a shot of Methotroxide. This is like a chemo drug that stops the cells dividing and will cause a forced abortion - apparantly this drug is very toxic and you cannot be around pregnant women so they transferred me by ambulance to our Regional hospital they gave me the shot there and kept me in for observation. You can only get this drug if you are very early on, which I was. It was a total nightmare I was totally wiped out after it. Not only did I have to go through all that then they told me that under no circumstances can we start trying again for at least three months as the drug inhibits your body's ability to absorb folic acid and therefore leaves you wide upon to Neural Tube defects etc....

I really am trying to take some positives out of this but to be honest it is a bitter pill to take, I suppose I could have lost a tube and had to have surgery but come on it feels like the Universe is playing a cruel trick on me!!!!!!!! They also said that now that this has happened once that I will be more prone to EP's (not sure why). We are going to make an appointment with the RE for Jan to discuss our options but I think now we will move to IVF.

Girls I think my story is going in a different direction and this is a happy thread albeit with struggles so I will bow out for the moment and bide my time - going to let my hair down over the Chrimbo and have a few drinks and go out with my long lost friends in the end it might do me no harm. I am a bit of a control freak so now that I have no choice perhaps I will have time to breath again and relax. I wanted to say thanks again for all the support and advise you have all been stars and truely wish you all the best of luck over the next few months I am sure there will be loads of BFP's. I think my story is the exception rather than the rule and I genuinly think we were unlucky - they told us of the risks with these fertility treatments we just have to accept it and move on.

On a funny note there is always comedy in tradegy when I was admitted to the hospital I turned to my husband before the ambulance guys came for me and I said sorry not ready to go yet have to do a national broadcast to share my story with the whole world given that nearly everyone knew everything so far. Suffice to say he is not mad at me any more just glad that this whole thing didn't turn out to be more serios as EP can be.

Girls have a fantastic Christmas and I will check in on the posts from time to time to see how you are going if by any chance you are still on (hoping you will all be preggo by then) in late Feb then I will join back in )))))))))))) xxxxxxx

Cmum, Bann

 

[bann1126]

Irish - I am sooooo sorry you have had to go through all that!!! A m/c is hard enough but to go through all that you have gone through this time. I am so sorry!! I am going to miss having you on this thread but I totally understand! Looking forward to catching up with you again in a few months. Good luck and happy holidays!

Sorry AF got everyone this time around. Glad to hear you are getting referred to the fertility specialist Leeze! I was told that when you are over 35 years old after trying for 6 months to a year you should be referred. I am working on getting referred myself. Hopefully at my December 9th visit they will agree to refer me.

TTC1st - sorry about your levels. It is really good that you are getting the blood work done, they are checking your levels and you are doing all that you can. You really are doing all that you can right now. Try to stay positive as hard as that can be. They will figure out what is going on with your body and get you in the right direction. Better now than later!! Hang in there!

I have been sick since last Wednesday. Have had the flu. Still feeling pretty bad but hopefully I am at the tail end of it. I should ovulate this Sunday or Monday or sometime right around there so I need to get to feeling better soon!!!

Take care!

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

oh Irish, gosh girl, we will certainly miss you but SOOOOOO understand. Please have a nice relaxing break. and a big hug hug to you. Try to enjoy your Christmas Holiday with a bunch of nice meals and drinks, I know for me the Month of December is my busiest month of the year, with family and visiting etc.. so perhaps it will fly by for you as well?

hugs to you

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

bann hows ya feeling girl? is that flu all gone yet ? this is CD11 for me so I should be starting to O here in this weekend as well.. unless of course this Clomid I am on this cycle will delay it.. I hope not..

So Leeze and CMum... cant remember you girls using the CBFM ? if so you guys are probally starting to pee on that stick soon huh? mine usually always starts me on CD7.

So tomorrow I should get the rest of the results from my hubbys SA, hoping we dont get more bad news... and then also I should be getting more blood results back on me to see what my FSH was while on Clomid.. my CD3 tests that I got back that were high, was before I started the Clomid.. just hoping they areNT even higher... that would just be one more strike against me.. geeze...

but I do have some other news to share...
I was calling around, to some fertility clinics in the area... just to get an idea on prices..and the PRICES were sooooo expensive... the inital consults was appx $300 then simple tests like HSG was $600 (hsg is usually the first thing FS will do... checks if you have any blockage). So I decided to check with my insurance company, to see if I had ANY coverage at all, thinking that perhaps they would atleast cover a portion of the initial consult... AND GUESS WHAT!!!!! I am shocked BUT I DO indeed have some coverage!!!!! it is considered a under my Reproductive Endocrinology Drs Network list. (I HAD NO IDEA) yayayaya!! So I have a small copay for the initial visit, then all lab work, blood work, xrays, ultra-sounds, or imaging is covered at %90 as well!!! but obviously IUI and IVF is not covered or the HIGH prices fertility drugs that go along with that... but gosh I am sooooo excited this doesnt all have to come out of pocket... I really had NO idea I had this coverage!! oh and p.s. the GREAT GREAT NEWS...!!!! I got an appoitment with a FS next Monday!!!!! yayayayaya....

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

Irish - sorry to hear what a tough time you had to go through. I'm amazed by your spirit and ability to see the positives in things. I'll miss you on here, so it would definitely be great if you pop in and say hi when you feel like it!

TTC1st - when I saw the nutritionist at the fertility clinic she recommended my OH take Biocare Male Forte tablets. She said these are great because of Vit C, selenium and Zinc. Also they aren't too expensive (not like so many of the women's ones!!). My OH is trying to have no more than 8-10 units a week, this is what the fertility clinic recommended when we both went there recently. He used to drink a lot more, probably 2-3 glasses of wine twice a week and then 4-5 pints of lager twice a week. Now it's probably about half that. That's great re your insurance covering some of the tests.

I'm going to be using the CBFM for the first time this cycle so I'll be starting that tomorrow because according to the CBFM it considers me to be a day behind because AF came in the evening.

Bann - I hope you feel better soon, take care of yourself so you've got plenty of energy for that all important time!!

I've started a TTC journal and have got a serious plan of action in place for this month following the advice from the fertility specialist and nutritionist. Feel free to check it out and steal any ideas/parts of the plan!!

xx

 

[bann1126]

That is awesome news ttc1st!!! And you got an appointment so quick! Yay for you! I need to call my insurance company and inquire what is/is not covered!

Leeze, I am going to check out your ttc journal when I get home! Thanks for sharing!

I am still trying to get over this flu. Ugh. Been out of it all day at work. I am doing a little better than yesterday though.

So my mother-in-law called me yesterday and just point blank asked when we are having BABIES. No baby but babies! No pressure huh. (This is my second marriage and my husband has no kids. My two kids are from my first marriage.) She does not know about the miscarriage. We did not tell anyone hardly, just our very closest friends. Both our moms are not in the best of health and we did not want to worry them. I told her we have been trying for a long time and it will happen when the time is right. She told me that I might need to go to the doctor and get "cleaned out"?! What?! I normally would have got annoyed by the conversation but I found it rather amusing. It just came out of nowhere and she was so upfront with her questions and opinions.

Well back to work so I can get out of here on time. Hugs and baby dust to everyone!

 

[Leeze]

sorry to hear you're still not feeling too good, bann. That's actually quite sweet re your mother in law, I could imagine my OH's mum saying something similar. Having good intentions and just being really blunt!

I'm going away for a long weekend with my OH and a bunch of his friends so will probably be a bit quiet on here for the next few days. I'm also trying to get lots of rest in to prepare for a busy week next week - O will be coming around Tues or Wed I think. Have a good weekend everyone xx

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

bann thats funny stuff from your MIL, oh gosh I laughed out loud!! and hope by now your cold is gone.

leeze, I am hoping you like your CBFM, this is my 5th month using it.. and it is great... I use the CBFM and OPKs both... ya over kill I know but... FMU has to be used for CBFM, and since I've read numerous times that LH generally surges in afternoon/evening... I also use OPKs so I can kinda pinpoint exactly when I surge.. So basically once I hit my high (2 bars) on the CBFM, then in the evenings I start using digital smiley face OPKs And almost every month, (except 1) when I got the positive OPK in the evening, the next morning my CBFM goes up to Peak.
CMum- how ya doing there ?

and a Hi out to Irish, if your checking in.

as for me....got the rest of my hubbys SA back, not the greatest of news at all. So it appears that his Morphology and Volume are considered "Normal", but his "sperm concentration" and Molitity are considered low. My OB/GYN who gave me the script for him to go get the SA done said he should go see a Urologist right away. And hubby said he has no prob with that. What I am going to do though is at my FS appointment on Monday is let him review the results for the SA and let us know exactly "how bad it is" then go on his advise, which I am assuming will be the same.. Urlogist... Oh and Leeze thanks for the advise on the supplement...I did try to look them up, but they look like a UK thing only... I am looking for something similar over here in the states, something called Fertilaid for Men looks to be good... again I am gonna see what the FS says on Monday.... with all this bad news I got this week, the only thing that is helping me keep my head up is the FS visit on Monday.


oh and p.s. I was all concerned the Clomid was going to "mess" with my Cycle this month, but nope it didnt. I didnt have really any side effects... I got my positive OPK last night, and my Peak on my CBFM today... so am doing the SMEP so looks like its 3 days in a row... wish me luck !!! (always good to go in to O time during weekend, so much easier to get all those days in huh)

Well Leeze sounds like you have a fun weekend ahead, and hope the rest of ya girls enjoy your weekend as well. I have my husbands work Christmas party tomorrow evening, so tonight after work going SHOPPING!!! YA for a new dress, new shoes and a new coat!!! that is defiantely something that will cheer me up...

I'll let ya know what the FS has to say on Monday... enjoy your weekend girls




I have my husbands Christmas Party tonight,

 

[chysantheMUM]

Hi everyone, I've not had chance to get on for a while, been soooo busy with one thing and another and no doubt it'll get even more chaotic over the next few weeks. Looks like a lots been going on with you guys though over the last week or so.

Irish - not sure if you're still following the thread but my heart goes out to. The last few weeks have been so horrible for you, I hope you can put it out of mind for a while and just enjoy the xmas holidays.

Bann - "Cleaned out" ?? If only it was that easy hope you're feeling better now and busy with BD'ing

Leeze - I hadn't thought about getting my OH on supplements, what a good idea I'm not sure how he'll feel about it but I'll have to go get him some

TTC1st - looks like you've had a lot going on recently with all the tests and stuff, sorry it hasn't necessarily been good news but at least you know what you're working with now.

Anyway it looks as though you are all well ahead of me with the OV'ing this month, I probably won't OV till the 12th by which time you'll all be about half way through you're 2WW. BTW what is CBFM? I'm not using anything this month, I ran out of OPK's last cycle and just haven't got round to getting anymore, so it'll be guess work this month. The last 3 cycles I OV'd around days 18 - 20, so I'm going to assume that will be the case this time. I know I'm being a bit slack but to be honest, I'm losing my motivation. I have decided though that after the new year, if nothing has happened, I'm going to approach GP. Anyway, good luck everyone

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

TTC1st - good idea to keep doing OPKs in the evening too, although I quite like with the CBFM (Clearblue fertility monitor - ChysantheMum) that you can use the first urine of the day. It always strikes me as ironic that you're meant to drink lots of water to improve your CM then you have to hold your urine for hours when doing an afternoon OPK!! I'd heard fertilaid was good for men, I think the main things are zinc and selenium so if it's got both of them then that will help. I can understand why you would be a bit concerned re the SA results, but remember it only takes one sperm to make a baby!!! I'd suggest if you can get him to cut down on alcohol intake too. getting some advice from the FS would be good, they will probably give some good tips

We had a lovely relaxing weekend away and I managed to swim for about 40 mins each day too which I'm really pleased about. I've put a bit of weight on since TTC, I think it's because I keep thinking that I'll put on weight when I get pregnant so there's no need to try so hard to keep in shape. But it does make me feel a lot better when I exercise.

I think I'm about 5 days away from O so not too far from you, ChysantheMum. I think as long as you BD 3-4 times a week then it shouldn't matter too much about OPKs. We've been trying to DTD 3-4 times a week this month but realistically it's probably been 2-3 times a week

My OH is going away for work for the next 3 days, so tomorrow eve I'm going out to spend the night in his hotel with him. It's about 1.5 hours away from where I work so it will be ok to get there tomorrow eve, but on Tuesday I'm actually working in a different office so it's going to take me about 3 hours to get to work. I'm determined to do everything I can this month though, so will be taking a good book with me for the journey!!!

We've received our referral letter now from the local fertility clinic so I need to call them tomorrow to make our first appointment. Really exciting!! I'm feeling very relieved this process has started now and am hoping this will help me relax enough to get naturally pregnant in the meantime!!!

Lots of baby dust to you all xx

 

[Irish9yo]

chekcing in on yee - all so busy nothing changed with me too much have finally stopped bleeding although the number has not come down as quikcly as they like have to wait another 10days and then more tests but I think it is going in the right direction. Looks like now I only have to wait for one normal period and then I can start trying again but could be 4-6wks before that happens & that is if we are even brave enough to go again. Anyhoo looks like you are all progressing along - best of luck hope Santa teams up with the stork and brings you all happy healthy beans