Anyone over 35 want a buddy?

[bann1126]

Irish - by the way, my haha about your wait is not a haha funny but a haha how ironic that you are again in the waiting game along with us. I did not want you to think I was being a smarty pants. I re-read my post after submitting it and it did not come across the way I meant it. Oops...

 

[Leeze]

Irish - I think it's a good idea to not fly in the first trimester if you can help it. Also, you'd only worry about it if you did. I don't think it's a bad idea to tell your boss early on, it does help them to know you're not just being awkward!!!

BTW - this 2WW feels way too long already. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this one! Also, my OH is flying to Chicago tomorrow for 5 days and then I'm going to visit my parents next weekend so I won't see him for a week! We just worked out that's the longest time we haven't been together.

AGGGHHH - where's my crystal ball? I think if I could find out somehow when I would get my BFP and even if I knew it was in 6 months but it was definitely going to happen then I'd be ok. It's the waiting and the not knowing that is so difficult. And, not being able to do anything at this stage to help things along. I gave my OH a big guilt trip last night because he had 3glasses of wine. Really, that's nothing, is it? I've pretty much given up drink (except when AF comes) and am starting to feel like I've become a bit of a killjoy! We're going away for a long weekend soon with some of his friends and already I've been asking him if he plans to drink a lot that weekend - and stressing how important I think it is that we both stay as healthy as possible and prioritise our baby-making. Sometimes even when I hear my voice out loud, I think "Am I really saying that? Is this actually me?"

As for the IVF/IUI debate - I don't see any harm in it especially given we might need a helping hand when we get to over 35. If we weren't intended to have babies at this age then we'd get the menopause at 35!! It's easy for me to say though, my family are pretty open-minded (and so is my OH's family) so we're lucky in that we wouldn't get any pressure from our families if we were to go down the medical route. I'm still hoping we'll conceive naturally though, but it's good to know there's alternatives available if it doesn't happen x

 

[bann1126]

I feel what you are feeling Leeze. I hope there is a little comfort in knowing you are not alone. Our friends are getting together tonight cooking out, drinking, watching some big fight that the guys are all into. I stayed home. I just did not feel like being around everyone. All of them drinking and all happy. And I know they will ask questions. I just don't feel like dealing with it or being around everyone and pretending everything is perfect and wonderful. I have pulled away from our friends lately. I know my husband will have too many drinks tonight, he will be out way too late. But we have to let them have their fun or else that is just going to be a whole other argument/issue. LOL at your comment about hearing yourself and wondering if that is really you. I feel like an old maid at times! A whole lot lately actually!

And the crystal ball thing, if you find one will you please look into it for me also?! Just the not knowing if/when is so hard!

I have had an extra emotional day today for some reason. Usually I am pretty good at keeping myself busy. But today I have noticed every little twinge in my stomach and wondered if we could be pregnant. It is all I have thought about today. I have noticed every little thing going on with my body. And it is driving me insane!!!

I can't stand being away from my husband for a day much less a week! I hope this week flies by for you!! Rent some good movies you have been wanting to see or schedule dinner with a friend you have not seen in a while. Try and stay busy and hopefully it will be a speedy one for you.

Take care ladies! Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

 

[chysantheMUM]

Well still not had a positive on the opk yet and on day 20 but we've bd'd every other day so I reckon we got it covered

Regarding the drink thing, when I began TTC I started out by abstaining completely and feeling like a killjoy too but I now don't bother. The main reasons being

1. I don't drink much anyway (between 4 - 6 units on a saturday night out) and the current guidelines say its ok to drink upto 4 units when pregnant
2. all around me people were drinking far more than me and getting pregnant (including a close friend of mine, who was so drunk she was barely standing up, just a week before finding out she was pregnant)
3. this whole TTC is taking much longer than I anticipated and I decided there was no point depriving myself for something which might never happen

btw interesting alcohol related observation (TMI sorry) - since TTC I have developed a problem with vaginal dryness, so we have had to start using concieve plus, not to help with conception but because without it sex had become painful for both of us. However, I know concieve plus is supposed to help the swimmers reach there destination but I would rather not use it. Anyway last night I had a few drinks and at the end of the night we DTD. My OH reached for the concieve plus but I stopped him and said I don't feel like we need it because I was just generally feeling so much more relaxed (more like my normal self) and I was right we didn't. So whilst I'm not suggesting that we should all be getting tipsy before BD'ing, I am saying that it just confirmed what I was already starting to suspect about TTC making our lovemaking a tense and anxious situation

Anyway my thoughts on the topic of IVF, I also don't see any harm in it, if thats what you want but I personally won't be going down that route. We have discussed it and OH has said he wouldn't want me to do it either, not because of religion because neither of us believe in God. But I had a friend who tried it and it made her so ill and didn't even work for her, so I'm just not prepared to put myself through it. It either happens naturally for us or it doesn't happen at all and I'm prepared to accept that but then I realise that as I have already had a child, its easy for me to say

 

[chysantheMUM]

I am going to assume that I have ov'd in the past 2 -3 days. On day 18 and 19 I had a medium line on the opk and today day 20 that line is fainter, so I'm going to assume that its been and gone undetected. So roll on the next 12 days I think I will probably test on the 25th

 

[Leeze]

Thanks Bann and ChysantheMUM for your posts. You made me feel a whole lot better.

Bann - I've started saying no to lots of things recently because I know everyone there will be getting really drunk. It's definitely making me feel a bit boring, but on the other hand if I go I end up feeling quite uptight and not really enjoying myself. I've started meeting friends after work for a meal or a couple of drinks and then just not drinking alcohol but it feeling ok because it's not been a Friday or Saturday where everyone is really going for it. Strangely, alcohol has started to lose it's appeal for me and that's funny because I'm normally really sociable and it has been a big part of my life for many years. But since TTC I'd rather stay home and watch a good film with a nice mug of hot chocolate!!

ChysantheMUM - I understand your point about having 3 or 4 drinks and I will occasionally do that if it's a special occasion or if it's in the first 10-14 days of my cycle. Once I'm in the 2WW I prefer not to drink at all. I think it's because after my m/c in June I read that even a small amount of alcohol can contribute to a m/c. Even if my m/c had nothing to do with the alcohol I drank that time (which was 2 evenings of about 3-4 drinks each on about 10dpo and 12dpo), then at least if it happens again then I won't have to worry about whether I did anything to contribute towards it.

Also ChysantheMUM - do you do the OPKs once a day or twice a day? I've read that your LH surge can last for less than 24 hours so unless you test twice a day you might not get a really positive line

So, that's a few of us in the 2WW. Let's hope for some BFPs this month!! xx

 

[Leeze]

What I also meant to say was, that I agree ChysantheMUM that alcohol can help when DTD! I've noticed that sometimes I can be really self-conscious about it whereas in the past when drinking I would be able to let myself go a bit more! Also, I don't always feel quite so ready!! x

 

[chysantheMUM]

Hi Leeze
I've only been testing for ovulation once a day, I'd read somewhere too that by only doing it once a day, its possible to miss the surge but I only had enough sticks left to do it the once, so had to take a chance. Anyway I don't think it matters much this time because like I say we've managed to do DTD every other day since day 12 and its unlikely I ov'd before then, so I reckon we've actually done better this month, than in previous months

BTW completely understand where you're coming from on the alcohol thing and tbh I am more cautious during the TWW than i am during the first 2 wks of my cycle, much to the annoyance of one of my friends in particular, who seems to have a problem with me ordering a soft drink on a night out, especially when my reason is based on there being a 'chance' that I'm pregnant rather than an actual positive result. They actually suggested I was 'being ridulous'!!! Lol To some extent I do agree with them, but I also believe in doing what feels right for me and if I actually feel as though I might be pregnant (even though month after month, those feelings are proved to be wrong then its very unlikely that having a drink would even be an enjoyable experience anyway because of the anxiety it would cause.

Thats why its so good to have you guys to talk to, I know you understand me

 

[Leeze]

I'm with you there! I dunno what I'd do without you guys!!

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

Irish- gosh damn shame you had to wait ALL weekend to get those test results…you prob were jumpin out of your skin huh? Well I am hoping they come back good for ya… make sure ya let us know ASAP. Also quick question about the flying ? I didn’t really think that affected a fetus at all ? I fly all the time, as I take frequent trips to visit family and friends… i.e this weekend I was in Boston for a party, and in 3 weeks I fly to Florida for a Christmas visit with Family, and already have plans to go on a mini vacation with my sister in Feb, and I never had a second thought about “if I was pregnant”…. I had always thought the only concern would be if you fly late in a pregnancy that perhaps you may go into labor in the air, which wouldn’t be good of course… but didn’t hear about any restrictions medically for early pregnancy?? Please let me know…

Bann.. good luck with the new OB for next week, hopefully they will be able to give ya some advise, keep us posted. Not sure if your state/insurance is the same as here in Pennsylvania…but yep my OB can only do so much… the rest is in the hands of a FS, and my state doesn’t cover ANYTHING related to Fertility. But my friend lives in Massachusetts and that state covers EVERYTHING!!! There is co-pay..of course but the State covers IVF/IUI and all of the expensive medications that go along with it….kinda is so unfair. Also hows your TWW going… got any good symptoms ?

Leeze… forgot to mention I tried to click on your ebook, but the link wasn’t working. And Gosh that is along time to be away from your hubby…torture!!! As for alcohol…My husband actually sells beer for a living… how ya like that one??… Yep he is a sales manager for a Popular Beer brand, so his typical day is going in an out of bars all day, and nights and weekends he has events he has to host. Not to mention he loves his red wine and martinis almost every night when he comes home from work. No alcoholic by any means, but just really enjoys his beverages. I have not approached the subject yet of his drinking…and honestly I think he would flip out on me. He is right on board with TTC and is cooperating with the stringent BDing regime the last few months, and even agree to go get a SA, but I know at this time I can not place any more demands on him, or he would not respond well to it at all. Not saying that I would love to mention to him ummm you need to cut back on your drinking, I just know at this time it would not go over well with him at all, and I don’t want him to start resenting this TTC mission we are on.

CMum…I actually use the CBFM and OPKs soooo I kinda know when I was surging because the CBFM picks up estrogen first then also goes on to the LH… but this was my very first month that my OPK went positive in the morning rather than the evening… I used the smiley face ones…so theres no guess work as with the ones you have to read the lines…they are more expensive than the other internet ones though, but I cant use the ones where you have to read the lines yourself. But as you said you saw your shift to an almost positive and BD every other day, so you should be covered… fingers crossed in your TWW.

About the drinking… I already explained my hubbys side, but as for me, I only am an occasionally drinker… I did go away for a party for a close friend this weekend… and EVERYONE was drinking…heavy. I only had 2 drinks total for the night. And it was like a 12 hour long party. It was really hard to not drink more… I do not ever give in to “peer pressure” so to speak, but a lot of people were like “what are you drinking is that WATER” !!! Like it was drinking gasoline or something!! And your right… so many people have so many different opinions on the drinking while trying to conceive… as you said Bann you had a MC (which I am so sorry you had to go through that) and you want to play it safe as to not take 1 chance for anything harming your conceiving, and then you have me who had a few drinks during the TWW, who doesn’t know any better, to the girl at the party (I was just at) who was 13 weeks pregnant telling me the week she conceived she was at an all inclusive vacation and she drank heavily for 2 weeks straight and the day she got home she took a HPT and had a BFP!! So I guess me personally I have no plans on getting totally wasted any time soon regardless of what part of my cycle I am in, but I am ok with an occasional drink “here and there”.

So girls my weeks line up is…tomorrow is my progesterone blood test to see how well my O was this month…results should be back a few days later, then hoping hubby goes to get his SA this week, and if AF doesn’t come I will test on Saturday. (although my tickers shows testing in 3 days… that’s too early, I O’d late this cycle…so I am holding out til Saturday)

Cmum your testing on the 25th… bann and leeze what are your test dates?

 

[bann1126]

Hi ladies. So my husband came home earlier than I expected him to Saturday night. He was out late but not nearly as late as I was expecting. It was a nice surprise. He did not have much to drink either. I underestimate him and I need to stop. He is thinking about TTC and his part also. He is just not as open as I am about it.

So I am going to do a test Wednesday morning since I am seeing a doctor that day. It is a little too early but I want to do it that morning anyway. Then I plan on testing again Saturday morning and each morning after that until AF comes.

I don't have a single symptom as of right now. Over the weekend I kept feeling my stomach tighten up and twinges, some light cramping here and there. Which made me wonder. But more than likely it had to do with us going out to lunch Saturday and completely stuffing ourselves like we have not eaten in months.

Good luck with your tests ttc1st! I hope the results are very positive!

chysantheMUM - sounds like you got this month covered. Good for you guys! We can't always count on the OPK so you did the best possible thing by BD'ing every other day! My boss saw her OBGYN last week and apparently my boss told her doctor about me and my husband trying unsuccessfully. The OBGYN told her that we need to be having lots and lots of sex. Which is much easier said than done! But she also said what I think one or two of you mentioned about doing it 3-4 times a week. I just can't keep up with that! Don't get me wrong, I love being intimate with my husband. But that is a bit much for me. Especially with our work schedule.

Irish - did you get your results? I hope all is well!

Leeze - hope this week flies by!!

This waiting is killing me! Ugh!!

 

[Irish9yo]

Howdi Guys, so excited for yee I know the 2WW can be excruiating but your day will come. Believe it or not I still don't have my results they were not sent until Friday so it will be tomorrow earliest before I know the score Aghhhhhhhhhhh.

TTC1st re the flying to be honest there is no hard facts about any ill effects from short hall flights. There is some increased risk when doign long haul flights due to altitude and exposure to radiation eg. for Air Hostesses. I think my main concern is more to do with the type of travelling I do I am an A/C Mgr. and I have at least 4-6 flights in 3days plus all the dragging and pulling and stress of hanging around in airports for hours etc.... As I already miscarried in Nov I think I am just being cautious and my OBGYN said he would avoid it if possible. I certainly think you should follow your intuition and if you feel OK about it then I would not worry. Really sorry if I scare mongered you for the most accurate info I would ask your Dr. what they think - I flew extensively on my first pregnancy without any worry at all.

Guys re the hubbies and drink I really would not worry if they have no issues with their sperm. I know they don't suffer like we do but it is stressful for them too Of about 200,000 sperms only about 200 actually make it to the fallopian tubes to actually meet the egg and these are only the strongest swimmers. My husband always has a few glasses of wine and not a bother on him

Girls keep us posted on the testing, I will let you know how I get on tomorrow. You might think this is daft but my Acupuncturist said that you should send smiles to your uteris breath in deeply and smile with conviction and send positive forces to your womb. Apparantly this is key in Chinese fertility meditation and well being - I have being doing it and funnily enought it does make me feel better.

xx Best of luck girls I have everything crossed for yee - will be watching out for the updates.

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

Irish, you sound really calm waiting for your tests - I'd be going crazy, I reckon. You must have some good strength going on!!

At the session I had last week with the fertility specialist she gave me a mini acupuncture session because it was day 14 on my cycle and I got a positive OPK. It felt really good in the main, although sometimes a bit sore! She also gave me a relaxation/visualisation CD and you have to imagine growing strong eggs, then imagine them being fertilised and your uterus growing strong and then the eggs implanting etc. It also felt strange at first but then I got quite into it!!!

Bann - sounds like you got a good one there, funny how they surprise us sometimes! I've got a Doctors appointment next week too, I want to see if he'll refer me for more tests if possible. Good luck with your appointment! I was told to BD 3-4 times weekly too, we're going to try our best to do this next month when my OH comes back from his trip. We're thinking we'll need to re-think some parts of our lifestyle to be able to do it, like if we start eating our evening meal at around 5 or 6pm at work - then when we get together later in the evening we can hopefully have the strength to BD around 9 or 10. Often we eat around 8.30 or 9 and then feel too full to get it on for the rest of the evening. Or we're trying to have a quickie around 11 or 12 and clock-watching, worrying about having to get up for work the next day!!

TTC1st - sorry the ebook link didn't work. If you IM me your email address I'll email it to you if you like. I think you're probably right about the whole alcohol thing, and my OH had his SA and it came back fine. I think, to be honest, I'm jealous that he can relax and have a few drinks and I've just become pretty uptight about it. In fact, when we got our BFP in June we were both drinking a lot more than we do now. I'm just like a woman possessed nowadays, after the m/c

ChysantheMUM - sounds like you did really well with the BD-ing, let's hope you catch that eggy this month!

My AF is due on 25th but I'll probably start testing from next Monday which will be 22nd.

Good luck and lots of baby dust everyone xx

 

[Irish9yo]

Howdi Guys,
Leeze might seem like I was calm but was going out of my mind having mini bouts of hysterical crying and then reminding myself that it is not potentially good for my bean. I think you are right to push for as many tests as you can that way you are fully informed and perfectly poised for what steps you need to take (hopefully none required). So you start testing on the 22nd hopefully this will be your month

Bann - Meant to say totally got your post I didn't think anything bad about it at all but I thought it was lovely that you came back to make sure I didn't take offence . That was great news about your husband coming home early, so you are starting to test tomorrow best of luck keep us posted xxxx.

Cmum hope that all is well you are on your 2WW have you decieded when you are going to start testing?

TTc1st, Best of luck with the testing on Saturday again I have all my fingers crossed for you and all the girls.

Well I finally got my results this morning I went from 25.1 to 106 - Hurray it is rising well so I am absolutly thrilled had a little cry before posting this. I am almost scared to feel good I know it is nuts but so wary!!!!!!!! Girls enough about me now!!! I will keep an eye on the posts to see how you are all progressing I really am sending out loads of sticky baby dust to you all I am proof that it can happen even when you think it is all over!! xxxx

 

[Leeze]

That's great news, Irish! Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy with amazing times ahead!! x

 

[Irish9yo]

Early scan next Thursday to make sure all is well will check in after this to see how you are all doing and to let you know that all is well xxxxxxxx

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

bann... very endearing your hubby came home a decent hour... see your right...they may not "talk" about it as much as we girls like to...but ya can tell he is thinking bout your joint TTC venture... good luck with your new OB tomorrow...

leeze... i may have to try one of those relazation cds gosh... when I have free time, I am just on the internet... googling ttc stuff... at some point I have to change what I do in my free time haha!! all this TTC reading is a little obsessive to say the least haha.

AND IRISH!!! golly congrats to you and your OH !!!! time to change your little avatar thingy huh!~!! well I so hope ya lots of love and bunch of prayers and a heap of baby dust that your little bean sticks on tight and your tests all come back good... SOOO SOOO happy for you... please keep us posted as you move on.

 

[bann1126]

Sooooooo, because I have a doctors appointment today I went ahead and did a test this morning. There was a super super super faint positive line. I am FREAKING out! I don't know if my eyes are playing tricks on me, if it is all in my head. It was really faint but there was something there. I got my husband out of bed to look and he said there was something there but he doesn't believe it because it is sooooo faint. So I am going to ask the doctor if they will do a blood test today. I have heard that most doctors will not do them anymore. Not sure why or if that is true but I'm going to ask! I'll keep you posted!...

 

[chysantheMUM]

OMG Bann Im so excited for you I know it was only a super faint line but I can't help thinking that any line at all, is a line and therefore a positive. I hope it is and I hope your doc does a test. Let us know how you get on and heres hoping its right Fingers x'd

 

[bann1126]

Thanks chysantheMUM! They did a blood test and I will find out the results tomorrow afternoon. They first did a urine test and they told me that there was nothing at first then after a minute or so there was a faint line and then it all of a sudden went away. Two nurses saw it and said they have never seen anything like it before. The doctor could not explain it either. The more I read online the more I think the test this morning was an evap line. The directions say results in 3-5 minutes and there was a super super faint line during that time but it was a grayish color, not pink at all. So apparently it could have been an evap line. Man talk about going through so many emotions today! It is still early so I need to calm down and just let time tell. Easier said than done though! My heart has been racing all day!

I hope everyone is holding up well during their 2WW!