Anyone worried about birth?

[TwilightAgain]

I've gone back and forward with what the best option is when the time comes (in a good few years!) and honestly I can't decide wether a c-section is best or vaginal. I know with the NHS you can request one and if you take their support services etc and still want one then they have to refer you to a doctor who will perform one.

I know this is a tricky subject because so many people say it is major abdominal surgery and there are risks involved but I feel like there are so many risks involved with birth anyway?

What causes me the greatest anxiety is potential damage to the baby if born vaginally, I know it's what us women are made for but I can't help but focus on the what ifs such as...

- Baby gets stuck and has to have a bone broken and/or is brain damaged
- Baby won't come down the birth canal and forceps are needed (I would completely refuse in this scenario)
- 3rd/4th degree tear
- Labouring for days and then needing a c-section anyway which could be quite traumatic
- Getting induced which is more likely to end up with an emergency c-section

I know that it is major surgery essentially and the recovery time is longer, but I can't help but focus on the risk that baby could be brain damaged or even die if they get stuck which makes me feel more anxious than longer recovery time. I wish I could get out of this mind set but I just can't...

Obviously i've got a few years to think about this but i'm worried i'll be stuck in this mind set when the time comes. But then I think will I regret not giving natural a go as I suppose some would see it as a write of passage as a mother...

What are your thoughts?

 

[Teri7489]

Hi there

Its a hard topic to discuss as everyone has very different opinions but I'll give you mine. I have experienced both - a long difficult labour, back to back baby and emergency forcep as baby got stuck which left me with a 4th degree tear. 2 years later I gave birth to my son via an urgent c-section. I had my elective section booked for 28th but I went in to labour during the night on the 24th. I was rushed down to theatre and he was born 15 minutes later.

We are planning another baby in the future and I've Already decided on a vaginal delivery. Even though I hand many stiches I would rather deliver my child myself. While the section went well, my son was delivered safely it all felt unnatural. I was surrounded with people I didn't know, it was all rushed, bright lights, numb from chest down, delayed skin to skin, catheterised. After delivery I had to buzz someone to come pick my son up for me. I couldn't go home to my toddler for 2 days.

A section is major surgery with potential for many complications. There are risks of baby being cut, damage to your organs, huge risk of infection, blood loss, risk to future pregnancies etc. I don't want to scare you but there are just as many risks with a section as with a vaginal delivery.

Even after my traumatic delivery I had to beg for a section, its not something that's taken lightly. First pregnancy requests for a section are often declined unless there is significant risk to mum or baby. Most consultants will reject it based of fears of potential complications as many can happen with a section.

Sorry for the long post. Its a tough decision but may be taken out of yours hands depending on the consultant you see. Good luck xxx

 

[jessmke]

I had a very long labour, 48 hrs of false labour and then 36 hrs of active labour before I delivered my daughter vaginally with a 2nd degree tear. With baby #2 (that we will be TTC in September) I will do everything in my power to deliver vaginally again. Sure there are risks to delivering vaginally but they are far, far less than the risks to having a c-section. I would suggest you take some natural childbirth classes and see some videos of women delivering vaginally before making up your mind.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Thank you both for your replies. I definitely want to get out of the mind set and am hoping by looking into it so early that it will help me get out of it before we ttc.

It's weird because a year or so ago I was adamant that I wanted a water birth if possible and wouldn't even consider an epidural as I was petrified of being paralysed. And now my emotions have gone the other way and i'm terrified of baby being brain damaged. Realistically it probably will be a vaginal birth so i'd like to feel more positive about it, i'm hoping my feelings change by the time we decide to ttc.

 

[Johnpet]

It finds that caesareans are substantially less painful than vaginal birth, but the difference in pain three days postpartum is not huge. There is a slightly raised risk of injury to the vagina, early postpartum haemorrhage and obstetric show for women who have vaginal deliveries. The benefits of a vaginal birth over a caesarian are a shorter hospital stay, but the difference is just one day longer for caesareans; a lower risk of hysterectomy and cardiac arrest for vaginal births – although these risks are tiny even in caesareans at 0.03% and 0.19% respectively.

 

[DissySunshine]

I had a vaginal birth with my daughter, and in all honesty the woman who delivered her (not my doctor and weeks later fired from the clinic) did a terrible, terrible job. What should have become an emergency C-section but wasn't left me giving birth to my daughter "sunny side up" and getting caught on my pelvis as I pushed. She came out with a dent in her head and the majority of her forehead bruised. That being said, I really don't believe brain damage from a vaginal birth is too much of a valid concern in developed countries (she would have come pretty close to it if that were the case!) My daughter is smart and ahead of the curve at almost 2 years old. The bruising went away after a few weeks and the dent rounded out before she was 1. I have always been a proponent of being able to choose a C-section. If I had been given the choice I would have gone through with one 100%.

 

[staralfur]

My daughter got stuck coming out (shoulder dystocia) and tore one of my arteries, I hemorrhaged terribly, it took them an hour and a half to stitch me up because along with the knicked artery I tore from front to back... and there's still not a chance I would opt for a c-section if given the choice.

Even with my severe tearing and stitches I was pretty much back to normal (in feeling that I could go for decent walks, not in pain doing regular things) within the week. Vaginal delivery also has benefits to the baby such as immediate contact/feeding with you, having the fluid pushed out of their lungs while going through the birth canal which reduces the risk of breathing problems, and healthy bacteria in the birth canal that boosts their immune system.

You also have to keep in mind that having a c-section with the first baby means a much higher chance of having to have repeat c-sections for subsequent babies which comes with even more issues.

As I said, no way I'd be choosing a c-section unless it was medically necessary.

 

[Emilylove13]

I was in labor at the hospital for 27 hours...8 hours no meds or anything with no progress. Then 7 hours on pitocin with not much more progress, then got an epi because i couldn't handle it anymore, and eventually 27 hours later ended up with a cs because i never dilated past 4cm even on pitocin. The cs really wasn't that bad and i bounced back pretty quickly (though i was 25 at the time so still pretty young). I wouldn't have chosen it for myself but I'm resigned to the fact I'll have to have another one. I was the girl who was absolutely sure that i was going to have a med free hypnotherapy natural birth and that all went right out the window. I was depressed about it for a long time because i felt like i had failed my daughter but it was what had to be done, and she's here now and that's the main thing. Sorry for the novel by the way!

 

[TwilightAgain]

Thank you all for your experiences, I'm finding them quite helpful. I feel like since writing my fears down that I feel much better about a vaginal delivery bizarrely. The concern of brain damage stems from the fear of baby getting stuck with the head out or even of forceps are needed. I'm beginning to feel like maybe I could give it a go. Still scares the hell out of me though.

 

[malia]

I'm having an elective c-section for baby number 1, on the nhs. They wont refuse you if that is what you decide. I asked if I could have a section at my first midwife appointment and was told yes, no questions asked. I didn't have to do any arguing or fighting. I'm not advocating it - I have my own personal reasons. I'm just letting you know that the option is definitely there.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I'm having an elective c-section for baby number 1, on the nhs. They wont refuse you if that is what you decide. I asked if I could have a section at my first midwife appointment and was told yes, no questions asked. I didn't have to do any arguing or fighting. I'm not advocating it - I have my own personal reasons. I'm just letting you know that the option is definitely there.

Wow really? That's quite surprising, I was under the impression they usually put up quite a fight.

I don't mean to be intrusive but what put you off the idea of a vaginal birth? Don't worry if you don't want to share though, i'm just curious. Did you give them a reason?

 

[babyv13]

I had an emergency c-section with my DD and found the whole experience really traumatising - it was like my worst nightmare come true to be honest. I'll definitely be going for a VBAC next time unless I'm strongly advised not to, but I am really worried about it already.

i definitely don't think that c section is the easier way, but I can understand your anxieties. have you looked at the statistical chance of it actually happening? maybe that'll ease your mind, I find that looking at what the low chances of things happening helps my anxiety a bit!

 

[fxmummyduck]

I think it's normal to have certain fears but I would say don't let your fears destroy your chances of experiencing a vaginal birth.

Cs is a major surgery and I truly have a lot of respect for mamas that have gone through it, they have to deal with surgery and carry on with a newborn, I don't know how they do it. I had gallbladder surgery when my lo was 9 months old and I'd have chosen labour and delivery over that every time!! I was in SO much more pain and recovery was 3 weeks before I had no pain although still couldn't pick my lo up very well.

I'm going to give you my personal positive birth experience.

I began preparing for birth very early on with self taught natal hypnotherapy books and guided hypnotherapy, this helped me enormously. I wanted a med free birth! And we'll I'm very stubborn once Ive made my mind up!

Went into early labour Saturday morning but did the shopping was out for the day etc contractions didn't kick in properly until maybe 6 ish, I was eating dinner and had to stop every time I had a contraction. Had a bath and carried on until I rang the birth center at 11pm and eventually went in at midnight. I labored a long time in the pool with gas and air too, got out as I was really tired in the early hours. Midwife said I was fully dilated so let baby descend a bit and then pushed for two hours. His arm was up by his face so this is why I found it hard, but he didn't get stuck all was fine and he was born with great apgar scores of 9 and 10. I had a few stitches internally as his little fingers caught me on the way out.

I walked out of the birth center as soon as we could get discharged!

Stay calm believe in yourself and you might surprise yourself!! My whole family are Cs people who said why would I want to do it naturally, am I sure etc it made me even more determined to show them it's ok, not scary and completely achievable! They are still amazed I did it but I just saw it as natural.

 

[BunnyN]

I have had two lovely natural home birth experiences so I'm sure for those that have had bad experiences they may have a different take on things but I found birth an amazing experience and would be sad if I had to have a CS for some reason this time. My 1st labour was 38hrs long in total, 27hrs active labour so it was hard work. But I loved that I could stay active and felt in control. I had a small tear with 4 stitches. I was up shortly after to shower and pee by myself. I was on my feet the next day and had no more than slight discomfort, never pain. I went for a walk carrying her 4 days after the birth. My second turned out to be 11lbs! He got stuck on my pelvic bone for a while during pushing but it was easy to solve by trying different positions. Once he started coming down he was born quickly and I had no tears. Again I was showering shortly after the birth and had little pain. I took a couple of extra days to feel really recovered because it turned out I had a small piece of retained placenta which made me feel quite uncomfortable around the middle. It resolved itself and didnt cause any more problems though.

I feel like there is a chance of tearing ect with a v birth but with a CS you are guaranteed to have a major wound. Although the risk is still small when there is no medical reason death rates of both mother and baby are both higher from CS than V birth. Try not to worry too much about things lke induction. If it gets to that point you could always refuse and go straight for a CS.

 

[zoe2010]

I worry about this too. Honestly here recently I have been thinking about it a lot! We are not trying yet, but I am absolutely terrified of the whole birth experience. But what scares me the most is the thought of getting an epidural. I would almost rather endure the pain of childbirth instead of having to get an epidural. I am terrified of needles. But if other women can handle birth I know I can too and I know it will be worth it in the end, but it's still a scary thought

 

[arturia]

Rundown of pros and cons of vaginal vs cesarean: Link
Rundown of the pros of vaginal for gut flora colonization: Link

In summary, these articles state that vaginal has better odds of leading to better outcomes. A cesarean is of course major surgery and carries a much higher risk of things like infection and bleeding and death. Also a vaginal -may- lead to better long-term health consequences. But sometimes, a cesarean is necessary, and if you take a look at things like infant and maternal mortality rates, it's still pretty safe overall, even if the odds of bad stuff happening are higher than vaginal delivery.

There are a lot of ladies who have given you good anecdotes here, but I thought that a more objective perspective may help you decide which you might prefer. My personal choice would be vaginal if possible, but as the end goal is of course the birth of a healthy baby, I'd choose whichever was going to lead to that.

EDIT: I'm actually also terrified at the thought of a C-section, so that might influence my choice a little bit.

 

[SoupDragon]

I was in active labour for 20 hours (after 24 hours of early labour) before having an emergency section as DD was stuck - she was >10lb and was 'sunny side up' (the medics decided I must have had undiagnosed gestational diabetes to have a baby so big, so a pretty exceptional circumstance really). I was stuck at 6cm for hours, and when I did eventually get to 9cm, my cervix swelled and I went back to 6cm almost instantly. I'd have given pretty much anything to have been able to get her out naturally, and will be doing everything I can to ensure a vbac for #2. I feel like I will never fully heal from the section but if I can vbac baby #2, that will go a long way to helping.

I never even got dilated enough to push, and I feel robbed of the whole experience. I don't feel like I gave birth to my own child, as she was surgically extracted from me. (BTW I do know a section is not any 'less' of a birth than a vaginal birth, this is just how I feel about my own experience). I have a stab of jealousy whenever I hear of a woman delivering vaginally.

I healed slowly from the section - it was a couple of months before I had no real pain, and even now (DD is nearly 21 months) my scar is really tender, especially if I wear tighter jeans or do a lot of lifting. It's worse during AF, just a constant nagging ache.

The pain made it so difficult to hold DD to breastfeed, and combined with her tongue tie and inability to latch, meant that for her to get my breastmilk, I ended up pumping for her whole first year. Not really how I envisaged things going. Even getting into and out of bed was agony, climbing the stairs on my first night home was dreadful, I couldn't even laugh without having to hold a pillow over my incision.

Maybe I had a rougher experience than some who have had a section, but I just wanted to add that it's not plain sailing, and psychologically it has been SO hard on me. That would probably be different if you chose to have a section rather than have it forced on you as an emergency, but it is major surgery at a time of massive upheaval and transition in your life and the effects are not just physical.

The practical side of things have to be considered too - you can't drive for up to 6 weeks after a section. You will be stuck in hospital longer. You'll have to wear compression stockings and have anticoagulant injections (and you will have to give these to yourself or get your partner to do them after you go home). Baby is more at risk of breathing diffculties due to lack of squeezing through the birth canal.

BTW I had an epidural and I literally did not feel it go in AT ALL. The sticks to get the cannula in my hand for pitocin were 100000x worse than the epidural. I had no aftereffects from the epidural at all.

Ultimately the decision is yours alone, but there's a lot of good advice on this thread and I do think some kind of prenatal counselling would benefit you massively to overcome your fears. Wishing you all the best with the rest of your journey

 

[MintChocChip]

Me! I had an awful labour and even worry that stressing about labour will spoil my pregnancy. Think you just have to tell yourself that every labour is completely different and the medical staff do have your best interests at heart -that's what I'm trying to do!

 

[dcm_mw12]

I know this sounds strange but I didn't get the joy of experiencing birth with my daughter. I had an emergency c-section and was put to sleep so I don't remember anything but waking up in the recovery room in so much pain from my incision. I would love to try for VBAC this time around but we'll see.

 

[Beccaboop]

My son is now 3 and a half and although his labour was stressful it still wasn't as bad as I thought.

He was back to back so labour went in 3 days before I even started dilating then after pushing for 2 hours I couldn't get him to move down and his heart rate was dropping so they told me that they would have to cut me and use forceps to turn him and I'd have to try pushing again and if he was still stuck then they'd have to do an emergency c section and I've never had any kind of surgery before and really didn't want a c section.

I heard it can be a slow and painful recovery and it was hard to care for your baby afterwards so I pushed as hard as I could even tho I'd had an eperdural so couldn't feel what I was doing and my little man was born.

He was fine he has some mucus on his chest from being stuck in the birth canal but that's it! No broken born, no marks on his head from the forceps and no effects from the heart rate dropping.

My point is although it was stressful and scary my son is perfectly fine and so was I.

All i needed was a few stitches which were a bit sore but only for a couple of weeks and we're managable with pain killers.

Midwives and doctors are amazing and will make sure you are both ok.

I want a natural birth next time and still wouldn't ask for a c section after all that!

All the way through my labour I kept thinking that millions if women have done this before me so I can do it! Positive thoughts helped me get through!