April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[ukgirl23]

Oh you lot have the joys of school bugs to come! If one kid gets sick they all get sick then you get sick haha.. I have reached a wall of resistence now where my immune system is so amazing thanks to all the exposure to the bugs I rarely get badly sick and if I do its over in a few days

 

[maybesoon]

Exactly!!! I have been taking pics of the trash & beer almost daily since the fridge he uses to keep his beer in is in the garage & he hasn't locked me out of it yet. I have pictures of the trash full of beer cans as he's been setting it out the back door. I have also kept all the texts & emails of him telling me to stay at my parents, I'm not welcome there & the text of him talking about shooting himself. I have them all saved on my work computer & I have emailed it all to my bestfried so she has a copy of everything. I'm doing what I can to ensure that when we go to court there will be very little chance "my baby" is left alone with him EVER! I just can't imagine leaving my baby alone with him now. I'm just blown away at his recent behavior. And horrified with myself for not seeing this sooner. He's like a downward spiral about to blow up!

Thank you so much for your support. You ladies have NO idea how much you are helping me keep my sanity throughout all of this.

 

[nimbec]

Mamaofthree I'm so sorry for your loss big hugs and hope to see you here again soon!

Doggylover glad you had a goo time and sick ess stayed away!

Maybesoon sounds like you have an action plan - good for you!!! (((hugs)))

Thanks teamo well I'm back from my scan an on cloud 9 !!! Measuring ahead 12+4 and really healthy baby nt measurement was 1so well within range just my bloods to come back now I'll post a pic later as on phone now and won't let me do it grrrr we saw him/her jumping about and sucking their thumb omg in ex static !!!

Hope everyone is ok! Oh and I puked again today grrr just as I thought I was over it

 

[maybesoon]

Mamaofthree I'm so sorry for your loss big hugs and hope to see you here again soon!

Doggylover glad you had a goo time and sick ess stayed away!

Maybesoon sounds like you have an action plan - good for you!!! (((hugs)))

Thanks teamo well I'm back from my scan an on cloud 9 !!! Measuring ahead 12+4 and really healthy baby nt measurement was 1so well within range just my bloods to come back now I'll post a pic later as on phone now and won't let me do it grrrr we saw him/her jumping about and sucking their thumb omg in ex static !!!

Hope everyone is ok! Oh and I puked again today grrr just as I thought I was over it

awww how exciting!!!! Congrats on the great scan!!!

Yuck, sorry you still have the pukes.... I'm hoping we will all be past them soon!!!

 

[chig]

Maybesoon - I am soooooo sorry that you have to go through this right now. I like your attitude! Just stay strong for your baby and you. He will regret it one day...

mamaofthree-

Congrats to all those reaching 12 weeks!!! How exciting. I still have a few more weeks until I reach that milestone!

 

[doggylover]

Omg nimbec, sucking their thumb?!!! That's adorable and amazing! What a wonderful experience!!! Congrats!

Maybesoon I like how smart you are being and getting ready to proverbially beat the sh*t out of this guy in court if the need comes. I love it!!! You are one strong mamma to be!!!

I am totally freaked out right now (ladies who have kids will probably laugh at this!) my dh was checking out my bump, which is just a bump now I think, no more bloat...and he said "oh my gosh look at your belly button!"

IT'S STARTED TO POP OUT!!! it's currently in a weird kind of flat state, and it is freaking the heck out of me!!!! I didn't think that happened for AGES yet!!!

 

[LittleSpy]

I think it depends a lot on how thin you are, doggy.

I'm not. At all. And mine never popped out. Got less deep, but no, never close to popping.

 

[doggylover]

Now I'm even more freaked out! I want to push it back in I'm a uk size 10 (us size 6) and I'm 5ft 8 so I'm not super skinny or anything. Especially at the minute when I feel like a whale!!!!! But I definitely have a bump now and now the belly button...I can't stop looking at it!! Gross...

 

[maybesoon]

Thank you doggylover!

I am at the point of thinking ahead & the fact that he could even think (or not think) about texting me about contemplating shooting himself just threw me over the edge. I can't even begin to imagine my baby in that situation. I can't imagine my baby being left alone with someone having that type of mental breakdown. So it has put me in crazy mamma mode. I will do everything in my power to show the Court that he isn't in a stable enough place to take care of my baby during any type of visitation. It's really pretty sad. This is NOT what I wanted EVER. I wanted a family, not this. I just wish he would wake up & see the light, stop drinking and be the man he pretended to be when I fell in love with him.

 

[maybesoon]

Now I'm even more freaked out! I want to push it back in I'm a uk size 10 (us size 6) and I'm 5ft 8 so I'm not super skinny or anything. Especially at the minute when I feel like a whale!!!!! But I definitely have a bump now and now the belly button...I can't stop looking at it!! Gross...

bahaha doggylover! I'm glad you have said something about this.... Now if/when mine starts doing it I won't freak out so bad!!! But yes, for the record, I did just pull my dress up (while sitting at my desk at work) and look at my bellybutton!!!

 

[LittleSpy]

Now I'm even more freaked out! I want to push it back in I'm a uk size 10 (us size 6) and I'm 5ft 8 so I'm not super skinny or anything. Especially at the minute when I feel like a whale!!!!! But I definitely have a bump now and now the belly button...I can't stop looking at it!! Gross...

Granted, I'm used to Americans, but that's quite thin to me (not saying you're like gross skinny or anything, just healthy! ).

I was a US 12 when I became pregnant with DD and then I gained too much weight (40lbs). Then I never lost the 40 pounds I gained with her so I'm a US 16 at the moment (well, actually, if I'm being honest, my size 16 trousers are currently unbuttoned and almost entirely unzipped at the moment ). So, no, I don't have to worry at all about the belly button popping.

 

[nimbec]

Lol Doggylover I guess it all goes with the territory I'm sure it looks quite cute

 

[LittleSpy]

maybesoon -- I hate it for you. But it does sound like he's very, very depressed. He needs help. And as immature and irrational as it is, this is his cry for it.

And I will say that I had severe PPD with dd. I was quite suicidal for a few months, but never ever would I have harmed my child. But, when it got to that point for me, I took the initiative to get help for myself. Not everyone can take that step for themselves, though. I hope he does get the help he needs.

 

[ukgirl23]

doggylover, I was a size 8(Uk) when I was pregnant with my first and had to take my tummy piercing out around 3-4 months then even though it was flat my button didnt actually pop out properly until the end of the pregnancy lol. I'm expecting it sooner this time, I'm now a size 10 but I have had 2 kids already so I'm presenting a lot sooner than I did before, the fundus is already halfway to the bellybutton and my bump is sticking out lol..

maybesoon, I'm court currently with my ex and it is tough! You get knocked aorund and judged by all sorts of people. So if you are sure this is what you want and what is best for you and baby, which I personally think it is, then you need to write down everything he does and have evidence to back it up. Do not be alone with him, do not give him any opperatunity to put you down. He wanted you to feel bad when he told you he would shoot himself, he wants you to get sucked into the drama of it all. The best thing you can do is ignore him and not give him any pay off. He doesn't seem to want the baby you are having together so I'm hoping for your sake that it doesn't even get close to a court battle. But without sounding mean you have to realise that if he does want to see his baby he has as much right as you do, as long as he sees the baby in a safe controlled way. My feeling is though that he wont bother. Or he will for a few visits then he'll give up, while he is drinking and threatening you though you have every right to refuse him contact, I know the baby isn't even born yet but you have to always think ahead and be careful that you don't use the baby as weapon to hurt him with ( I know you wouldnt but some women do because they dont have any other way to hurt their exes back). But yeh the thing that I found most useful in court is evidence and diaries, and the people who deal daily with that stuff arent stupid they can tell when someone isnt being a good parent or not. I was abused by my ex in Norway, now we are going through courts in England, I was afraid they wouldnt understand me or see my side or he would be able to trick them into believing him, but they told me straight out that they know what he is about even though he is being nice in court. So dont worry. Just relax and let his bullshit wash over you. Do not even rise to anything he says xxx You will be fine hun you can tell you are strong so just keep going you're doing really well Xx

 

[doggylover]

But yes, for the record, I did just pull my dress up (while sitting at my desk at work) and look at my bellybutton!!!

Ugh nimbec cute is very much not the word I would use!

I dont know why I'm so grossed out by it!!! It's never something that has worried me in the past, and I always thought it was funny to see belly buttons popped. I guess I just didn't expect it so early!

Ukgirl Im glad the courts are seeing straight through your ex. From what you have mentioned in the past he sounds like a total monster.

 

[maybesoon]

To be perfectly honest. I would give just about anything for him to get help & straighten things out. I have begged him to seek help, but he refuses & only states that he knows his many faults & doesn't want to discuss them with anyone. As bad as it is, if he would get the help he needs including AA I think he could be the man I married and we could work things out over time. I do honestly believe there is obviously something going on & he's drinking to cover it, but it's only making matters worse. With that being said, I would never keep our child from him out of anger. At the moment though, he's not in a mental place where he can care for a baby. He's merely thinking of himself & staying in a drunken stupor. That is no environment for our baby.

I have prayed & prayed that he will come to his senses & realize what he is doing, get the help that he needs so that we can move past this. I have prayed that he will do it before it is completely too late for our family (but I'm afraid I could not ever trust him again at this point). But even if he doesn't for us, I want him to do it for our baby.

 

[maybesoon]

doggylover, I was a size 8(Uk) when I was pregnant with my first and had to take my tummy piercing out around 3-4 months then even though it was flat my button didnt actually pop out properly until the end of the pregnancy lol. I'm expecting it sooner this time, I'm now a size 10 but I have had 2 kids already so I'm presenting a lot sooner than I did before, the fundus is already halfway to the bellybutton and my bump is sticking out lol..

maybesoon, I'm court currently with my ex and it is tough! You get knocked aorund and judged by all sorts of people. So if you are sure this is what you want and what is best for you and baby, which I personally think it is, then you need to write down everything he does and have evidence to back it up. Do not be alone with him, do not give him any opperatunity to put you down. He wanted you to feel bad when he told you he would shoot himself, he wants you to get sucked into the drama of it all. The best thing you can do is ignore him and not give him any pay off. He doesn't seem to want the baby you are having together so I'm hoping for your sake that it doesn't even get close to a court battle. But without sounding mean you have to realise that if he does want to see his baby he has as much right as you do, as long as he sees the baby in a safe controlled way. My feeling is though that he wont bother. Or he will for a few visits then he'll give up, while he is drinking and threatening you though you have every right to refuse him contact, I know the baby isn't even born yet but you have to always think ahead and be careful that you don't use the baby as weapon to hurt him with ( I know you wouldnt but some women do because they dont have any other way to hurt their exes back). But yeh the thing that I found most useful in court is evidence and diaries, and the people who deal daily with that stuff arent stupid they can tell when someone isnt being a good parent or not. I was abused by my ex in Norway, now we are going through courts in England, I was afraid they wouldnt understand me or see my side or he would be able to trick them into believing him, but they told me straight out that they know what he is about even though he is being nice in court. So dont worry. Just relax and let his bullshit wash over you. Do not even rise to anything he says xxx You will be fine hun you can tell you are strong so just keep going you're doing really well Xx

I truly hope everything works out for the best for you! I'm really glad the Courts can see through him. Best of Luck with it all. I know it's frustrating.

 

[ukgirl23]

Awww thank you ladies I have our final hearing in january. He totally controlled every part of me. I always thought it was my fault. that I deserved it and that it was upto me to make him better. Only the person who needs help can get the help they need if they want it bad enough. I see alot of what I went through with you maybesoon I feel like I need to help you lol.. sorry if Im being annoying just tell me to shut up! xxx

Who just lifted their dress up at work?? Hahaha thats funny... hope they dont have cctv!!!! Xx

 

[ReadytoMum]

To be perfectly honest. I would give just about anything for him to get help & straighten things out. I have begged him to seek help, but he refuses & only states that he knows his many faults & doesn't want to discuss them with anyone. As bad as it is, if he would get the help he needs including AA I think he could be the man I married and we could work things out over time. I do honestly believe there is obviously something going on & he's drinking to cover it, but it's only making matters worse. With that being said, I would never keep our child from him out of anger. At the moment though, he's not in a mental place where he can care for a baby. He's merely thinking of himself & staying in a drunken stupor. That is no environment for our baby.

I have prayed & prayed that he will come to his senses & realize what he is doing, get the help that he needs so that we can move past this. I have prayed that he will do it before it is completely too late for our family (but I'm afraid I could not ever trust him again at this point). But even if he doesn't for us, I want him to do it for our baby.

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with all this right now maybesoon. He's clearly not in a position to care for children right now. I know that you've mentioned before that he has two children from a previous relationship. Are they still living at the house with him? Or do they just come for visits on occasion?

Because I feel like not only do you need to record everything you can for any future legal battles with your OH about your own child, but if he still has care of a 4 year old (and I forget how old the other one is), they need to be removed from that house by children's aid/child services as soon as possible as well.

Try to keep your head up hon, and hopefully you'll be able to collect your stuff soon and be finished with him. If he's not willing to get the help he needs, there's not much you can do about it. You need to look after yourself right now.

 

[maybesoon]

Awww thank you ladies I have our final hearing in january. He totally controlled every part of me. I always thought it was my fault. that I deserved it and that it was upto me to make him better. Only the person who needs help can get the help they need if they want it bad enough. I see alot of what I went through with you maybesoon I feel like I need to help you lol.. sorry if Im being annoying just tell me to shut up! xxx

Who just lifted their dress up at work?? Hahaha thats funny... hope they dont have cctv!!!! Xx

You are not annoying at all. You have no idea how much help you have been through this.

And it was me that lifted my dress up!!!! ooppppsss not sure if it's due to baby brain or my hubby causing me to lose my mind!!!! oh well, both excuses work for me right now!!! Lol I work in a really small office. There's only 4 of us that work here & I have my own office so really no one can see me unless they walk into it.... Luckily no cameras!!! lol